John Shrader 15: Welcome to Poisonwood, Caleb

[PurpleCats]

The lack of John update is killing me. 

[Gobsmacked]

I just got all excited seeing his thread on the first page!!!

but no.... Come on John wave at us .

[Gimme a Free RV]

If you post this question some where he can see it, he'll come out of hiding lickety-split!

I feel called to ministry.  I am hoping to become a full-time missionary after gaining the experience of pastoring a church.  I have a degree from Fuller Theological Seminary, where I graduated with honors, at the top of my class.  My professors have greatly encouraged me to follow my calling.  Do you have any words of encouragement for me?  Should I consider teaching theology, as well?                 --Rebekah Elizabeth Smith, PhD

[Palimpsest]

49 minutes ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

If you post this question some where he can see it, he'll come out of hiding lickety-split!

Let's try this one too.

Recommendations requested:  God has laid it on my heart to make a large donation to a missionary in Africa to help defray the costs incurred by Satanic attacks.  Requirements for eligibility:  1. Missionaries will preferably be serving in SubSaharan Africa, especially Zambia, but Beyond will be considered.  2. All missionaries must provide documented evidence that they preach Salvation by Grace Alone, not that baptism lie.  3.  All missionaries must make their Face Book accounts public.  

[bertnee]

And use the money for unnecessary luxuries like ice machines and thousands of Bibles printed in the wrong language and chickens that are probably dead if they ever actually existed.

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, bertnee said:

chickens that are probably dead if they ever actually existed.

Oh, they existed.  We saw the videos.  They are definitely dead.  They got some sort of chicken plague in their restricted quarters and died sad and probably lingering deaths.  The chicken business never got off the ground.

And thanks for the reminder.  I've just asked Bethella to add the chickens to her greatest grifts spreadsheet.

[Gobsmacked]

Johnny boy was desperately seeking Vets at one point. Vets who would give their Chicken doctoring services for free.  All news of the Chickens ceased not long afterwards. 

[Palimpsest]

20 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

Johnny boy was desperately seeking Vets at one point

Minor correction:  "Christian" vets. 

The poor chickens.  They may have been eventually destined for the pot but undoubtedly they died from neglect.  Chicken farming isn't as easy as simply buying them, sticking them in a back room, and chucking a bit of food at them every now and then.  

[formergothardite]

Those poor chickens never stood a chance. They were "triple C" chickens which stood for carefully cleaned with colloidal silver. It appeared Esther did all the actual work of cleaning the chickens with woo-woo silver. Can anyone really see John killing and cleaning a ton of chickens?

[Gimme a Free RV]

On 4/21/2018 at 8:44 PM, formergothardite said:

Can anyone really see John killing and cleaning a ton of chickens?

No, but I do see a correlation between what John says, posts, and does and the excrement produced by chickens.

[squiddysquid]

It's may and still no sign? Very suspicious.

Any pomes at least?

[Gobsmacked]

Aaaaaaaannnnd once again I come rushing over here. Where oh where has our very own little John gone????

[PurpleCats]

3 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

Aaaaaaaannnnd once again I come rushing over here. Where oh where has our very own little John gone????

Same!!!  Ugh. Come back John!  Should we be worried? 

[Meeka]

John made a post to ask for prayers (we all know he's asking for money) for the plane ministry. He says that he has a US pilot license and that they need for God to miraculously provide away for the plane's registration and minor renovations like seat recovery.

[MarblesMom]

A plane ministry, at this point, may mean one way tickets outta there.  Snort.

[Palimpsest]

14 hours ago, Meeka said:

John made a post to ask for prayers (we all know he's asking for money) for the plane ministry. He says that he has a US pilot license and that they need for God to miraculously provide away for the plane's registration and minor renovations like seat recovery.

John has a US pilot license that is useless in Zambia.  He also hasn't flown a plane for  years.

They need God to give them much moola to put that rusting plane together (and it is a pile of junk).  It needs to be made airworthy, John needs to take more lessons, take his Zambian pilot test, get the plane passed and registered, find hangar space, pay for fuel, runway use, an engineer to keep up with maintaining it ...

And all for what?  Why does he need a plane at all?  He's fucked up already and he will fuck up even more in a plane.

 

[Gobsmacked]

I'm a-thinking that the good sheeples back home in Texas are getting a tiny tad squirmy with John. They will want their money's worth. Videos of brave deeds and dashing natives. Wonderful wordy spellbinding news letters. Well, the natives are dashing - in the opposite direction when ever John comes to town methinks. 

They want excitement. Paddling pool baptisms, pictures of book cases, dead snakes, botched up rigging for strapping video camera to truth (lie) Mobiles. You get the picture. Truly daring scary African things. 

John doesn't do dashing and daring. Just posing on top of grave mounds, boring all and sundry, grifting, hiding under sheets, juicing, impregnating, printing posh loo paper,chasing folk, lying to the police, trying to drop folk in the shite, chicken murders.................

I do wonder just how Daddy Shrader is faring when answering questions from the sheeple about John. After all it's  been 4 years now...........

[Aine]

5 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

And all for what?  Why does he need a plane at all?  He's fucked up already and he will fuck up even more in a plane.

A plane would at least mean he could create all the messes he wants well away from Kafue and not have to live among the people he cons/lectures/lies to 

[Gobsmacked]

The only plane John needs is one locked onto Auto Pilot directed straight to Katy,Texas. One way journey. 

[formergothardite]

20 hours ago, Meeka said:

minor renovations like seat recovery.

It doesn't even have wings. The seat is the least of that plane's problems. 

[Palimpsest]

If he does ever get the damn thing in the air I expect he'll just fly it around enjoying himself.  He might have one of his remaining "men" in the back tossing out the odd piece of loo paper over a village.  Then he can call it leafleting.

Rufus forfend he takes any of the kids in it.  John is not an experienced pilot, he hasn't flown for 4 years, and he has the common sense of the average flea.  He's most likely going to kill himself in that plane.  I hope he doesn't kill anyone else.

[Howl]

I can't believe Bro. Shrader is still trying to resurrect the damn plane.  John took enough lessons to get his pilot license and that was it; he has no real flight time.  

Hypothetical: Let's say John somehow flies into a remote village, but of course can't speak the local language.  I guess he'll just pantomine that works won't save you, and if you are not saved by grace alone, you're all going to hell when you die. 

 

 

 

[tankgirl]

I am dying, seriously a hugely long wait, to come full circle back to the plane, it is just too hilarious. Gawd, FJ gave up asking about where the plane went ages ago, who could have guessed, we would circle back to this one?

 

So, will we learn what happened to plane #1? Will the fools parted from their money, see the plane? Will he suddenly make excuses, for a new plane? Will the fools part again with cash for a new plane, or will two planes, make them start to question their money choices? But seriously, who is laying the odds, John still never ends up flying, or if he does, he screws it all up, maybe getting the plane stolen or driven into a ditch.  I have no words. I never saw Planegate two: Dude, where's the plane.....again coming.

[Gobsmacked]

John will never get his fat lazy derrière airborne in Zambia unless he plonks it on a commercial airline seat heading home.

[Inky]

I've come to the conclusion that the people supporting John are very naive or very dim. Doesn't anyone ask any questions, and if they do, what answers do they get. And do they actually try and verify what they're being told is true.