John Shrader 15: Welcome to Poisonwood, Caleb

[Gobsmacked]

Me thinks radio silence then . The family magically reappears in Texas. 

John will need time to lick his poor Satan induced wounds and invent a fantastic cover story worthy of Trumpfartyface's  speech writers. 

Cos no way would it be John's fault. Satan all the way. 

[Flossie]

On 1/30/2018 at 3:21 PM, Georgiana said:

Dwight's delusional seriousness while fake-captaining a booze cruise lake tour is similar on WAY too many levels to John's delusional seriousness while fake-pastoring a "mission" in Zambia. Much like the real captain of the Booze Cruise put Dwight at the fake wheel to get him out of his hair, so too did Pa Schrader deal with the annoying problem of his son by sending off on a fake mission.  

I'm afraid I don't know anything about this Dwight or his booze cruise.  Anyone care to catch me up?

[Jellybean]

It’s Dwight Schrute from the US version of The Office singing ‘drunken sailor’ and pretending to drive a boat

[FloraKitty35]

On 1/29/2018 at 10:35 AM, Gimme a Free RV said:

I am laughing so hard right now because my mind immediately went to the same place!

Man, he REALLY hates modern worship scenarios, doesn't he?  If someone wanted to really torture him, (other than taking away his grifted spending money and broken airplane), they would force him to attend a mega church modern worship service with drums, guitars, no coats and ties, no traditional hymns, and the sermon being preached from a modern Bible translation.  Throw in a prayer and/or music led by a woman and John would have to go to bed and suck his thumb for months.

I thought of Prince John in Robin Hood sucking his thumb.

 

[formergothardite]

The words to the song do fit John!:

"Incredible as he is inept"

"He sits alone on the giant throne
Pretendin' he's the king
A little tyke who's rather like
A puppet on a string
And he throws an angry tantrum
If he cannot have his way
And then he calls for Mom Dad while he's suckin' his thumb
You see, he doesn't want to play"

"The snivellin', grovellin'
Measly, weasely
Blabberin', jabberin'
Gibberin', jabberin'
Plunderin' plottin'
Wheelin', dealin'"

[samurai_sarah]

My name is John Shrader,

Without pity, I would rather *

callously endanger my family and my wife,

while I would never endanger my life.

Money I come by, by grifting

from those who do the heavy lifting,

struggling to feed their own, while supporting me

in my white supremacist endeavour as it should be.

I never amounted to much,

but talking as such

I come from experience,

with a dose of non-interference

in all things poverty related,

and yet, I am hated.

You don't understand that all I am bringing is light,

and you will all die beneath the Lord's might!

 

* only works if you pronounce "Shrader" like I do, to rhyme with "rather".

ETA: Sorry, it bugged me that there was a line missing to make it sonnet-like.

Also, excuse me, while I marvel at such a shitty pome.

[Ms. Squishels]

Has anyone seen John's new FB page, Quill and Bible?

[Granwych]

6 hours ago, Ms. Squishels said:

Has anyone seen John's new FB page, Quill and Bible?

That man's got a serious case of bloviation.  Unless anyone knows that it belongs to him, John Great White Savior Shrader, I imagine he'll get a lot of laughs and readers going WTF.  Dude just loves to "hear himself talk."  In which he never seems to have all that much to say, really.

[Gobsmacked]

Is the new page private?

[Granwych]

23 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

Is the new page private?

No, I saw it just had to scroll down.

[Gobsmacked]

If John is now spending hours writing pomes and hymns, I dont see him justifying grifting from Daddy's sheeple for much longer. He can compose at home in Texas. If any supporting churches can't see that, they deserve to be ripped off by the grifter extrodinaire. 

[subsaharanafrica]

There is one thing I’ve never quite understood: how is someone who reads neither Biblical/Ancient Hebrew nor Ancient Greek in any way qualified to make a pronouncement on how good a translation of the Bible is? It’s not like he can compare a translation with the original. 

[Granwych]

1 hour ago, subsaharanafrica said:

There is one thing I’ve never quite understood: how is someone who reads neither Biblical/Ancient Hebrew nor Ancient Greek in any way qualified to make a pronouncement on how good a translation of the Bible is? It’s not like he can compare a translation with the original. 

John boy's pronouncements are based on how he can pontificate, bloviate, and generally purloin  the English language for what he considers poetry.  (But it barely comes close to doggerel)

[Gobsmacked]

Tri-county church sheeple will be wetting themselves with excitement about their very own missionary's 'pomes'. 

They should be organising John's removal from Africa ASAP trip instead. They literally must wear blinkers. I would love to visit one Sunday to hear what they think of him also to find out just how Genius Daddy manages to 'sell' John so well that the money keeps flowing.

Its a mystery..

[EyesOpen]

I saw a wedding pic from Pricilla and David waller’s anniversary and it got me to think king about Esther and the blow hard’s wedding. I wasn’t following their family back then. Are there any old blogs or pictures from their wedding, courtship or anything anyone knows of?

[Gobsmacked]

John's silence has me worrying about Esther and baby Peter. 

[Howl]

3 hours ago, Gobsmacked said:

John's silence has me worrying about Esther and baby Peter. 

Yes, this whole pomes thing is concerning.  John's not pretending anymore that he's annoying people for Jesus, he's just off in his own world of pretending to himself. 

With a brand new baby at home, he may also be sleep deprived. Please, Rufus, may he be helping out at home while Esther is gaining her strength. 

[anjulibai]

Esther's baby is Caleb. Zsu's baby is named Peter. 

[Gobsmacked]

18 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

Esther's baby is Caleb. Zsu's baby is named Peter. 

Oops! My bad!! So many babies. So many baby boys! 

[Gobsmacked]

Still no John?

[Howl]

Hope he's not in jail, while Esther's at home with a new baby and SO many children.  He did have a long silent streak while Esther was waiting for Caleb's big debut.  Whichever it is, these long silences are a new thing.  

[Gobsmacked]

2 hours ago, Howl said:

Hope he's not in jail, while Esther's at home with a new baby and SO many children.  He did have a long silent streak while Esther was waiting for Caleb's big debut.  Whichever it is, these long silences are a new thing.  

So totally out of character. I hope he hasn't  just taken to his bed, but is helping Esther.

 

[Gimme a Free RV]

Things John might be doing while away from FB:

Dieting—juice fast.

Practicing his Zambian accent while holding a hair brush and pontificating in front of a mirror.

Begging Esther to let him get started on procreating their next blessing.

Taking his safari shirt and hat (as well as his financial supporters) to the cleaners.

Cataloging his “thousands” of books with the Dewy Decimal System.

Starting on that Bible display case he never got around to.

Doodling pictures* of himself flying over remote villages in his cute little (broken) flying pumpkin, throwing printed toilet paper to the heathens below.

*From the comfort and safety under the sheets of his bed.

 

 

[mango_fandango]

Sometimes I wonder which of the fundie men would be the best/worst to be married to (or just live with). Worst sounds easy, but there are plenty of candidates to sift through. Best sounds difficult. 

A variation of this is to pick two of them and compare them. To REALLY torture myself I go with our two Steves, Maxwell and Anderson. 

John Shrader would, obviously, be a terrible choice, but compared to some of the guys on here he’s not *quite* so terrible (but the bar is practically floor level so...)

[Howl]

Stevehovah's superpower is sucking the air out of the room and the life out of everyone's soul; he's only so-so as an impregnator.  Not sure how I'd define John's superpower, because there's so much to choose from.