John Shrader 15: Welcome to Poisonwood, Caleb

[Palimpsest]

@JillRodsEyeliner, I agree.  I can't follow the Rods because Jill makes my blood boil.  Some of the extreme thinness of the offspring could be genetic, both Angie and Amy are also very slender.  I lost it, however, when Jill boasted about Timothy fasting for God.  That young man needs feeding not fasting!  She is a horror.

I think both the little Smuggars and the little Pecans look clean and cared for.  I credit their mothers.  On the rare occasions we are shown pics of the little Shraders they look good too.  It is to Esther's credit that she has kept them all fed (and alive) considering John's irresponsible behavior, let alone birthed a couple more in Kafue.

I am less optimistic about the Shraders getting any kind of consistent education, although the older kids are experts at stapling tracts.

[squiddysquid]

My family is severely skinny (BMI around 16), the Rod kids look like they weigh even less, that's not genetics.

[Palimpsest]

32 minutes ago, squiddysquid said:

My family is severely skinny (BMI around 16), the Rod kids look like they weigh even less, that's not genetics.

I said "some of it."  At Timothy's age my brother was just as thin, healthy, and he ate like there was no tomorrow.  I do think Jill withholds food as punishment and encourages the kids to fast.  While she and David do not deprive themselves of food. At all.  They are always first at the trough.

[squiddysquid]

12 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

I said "some of it."  At Timothy's age my brother was just as thin, healthy, and he ate like there was no tomorrow.  I do think Jill withholds food as punishment and encourages the kids to fast.  While she and David do not deprive themselves of food. At all.  They are always first at the trough.

No sure, sorry, that's what I meant, they're too thin for it to be just genetics. A BMI of 16 is already really damn low. And yes she has praised a couple of them for fasting as a sort of enhanced prayer.

Plus of course no one besides her kids are that thin, my aunts , cousins... we all have the same body type, my mother and I share jeans.

[JillRodsEyeliner]

7 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I said "some of it."  At Timothy's age my brother was just as thin, healthy, and he ate like there was no tomorrow.  I do think Jill withholds food as punishment and encourages the kids to fast.  While she and David do not deprive themselves of food. At all.  They are always first at the trough.

Someone mentioned that Jill made a comment when number 13 was announced that it meant one less drumstick at the table. What a witch! David looks like he has never missed a meal.

[waltraute]

21 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I said "some of it."  At Timothy's age my brother was just as thin, healthy, and he ate like there was no tomorrow.  I do think Jill withholds food as punishment and encourages the kids to fast.  While she and David do not deprive themselves of food. At all.  They are always first at the trough.

I'm not sure she withholds food as punishment, though it's possible (this is Jill we're talking about), but I do think that the available meals are sparse ala the Shupe household. Portions are small and seconds unavailable unless they are being fed at a church function. However, this is conjecture. Aren't the nearly-adult kids quite tall? That would indicate at least passably adequate nutrition.

(Maybe they just seem tall because they are so thin).

[feministxtian]

On 3/21/2018 at 10:56 AM, Palimpsest said:

I said "some of it."  At Timothy's age my brother was just as thin, healthy, and he ate like there was no tomorrow.  I do think Jill withholds food as punishment and encourages the kids to fast.  While she and David do not deprive themselves of food. At all.  They are always first at the trough.

My husband is 55 and is still VERY slender (6' tall and between 140 and 145 lbs). He's healthier than he's been in years, even with brittle diabetes (its a long story). He eats like there's no tomorrow, anything and everything and plenty of it. I mean, he's embarrassing at buffets! He's always been slender. His father was the same way, same height and weight. My sons are the same way...#1 son is 6'1" and about 160 lbs. Another HUGE eater. He loves food, he loves to eat. #2 son is 5'7" and MAYBE 135 lbs. That kid is cut, 6 pack, the whole deal...never works out, eats junk food. I hate all 3 of them. I watch them eat and gain 20lbs. 

[Fascinated]

On 2018-03-21 at 1:17 PM, squiddysquid said:

My family is severely skinny (BMI around 16), the Rod kids look like they weigh even less, that's not genetics.

I disagree. All the Rod cousins look the same ‘slimness’ to me. I’ve never really been on board with the idea that Jill’s kids are starved. I do think it is genetics. JMO, as always. 

[MayMay1123]

17 hours ago, Fascinated said:

I disagree. All the Rod cousins look the same ‘slimness’ to me. I’ve never really been on board with the idea that Jill’s kids are starved. I do think it is genetics. JMO, as always. 

granddaughter is 8 and just barely 40 pounds. if you see her with every other member of this household you'd think we starved her, as none of us are thin in the least. i promise we put food in front of her at every possible moment, but she is incredibly picky ( "I don't like square crackers" kind of picky). her ped says she is healthy, just tiny. i think the rods are quite thin, and could probably use more food every day, but i also think they come by it naturally. in a few years, when they leave the house of rod and have families of their own i think they will begin to fill out.

[formergothardite]

John is back to writing poetry. 

Quote

The Parting (written about a 25 year old man who has come to join our team here to be discipled, given Bible training, and hands-on preparation for the mission field...while on the field.)

I can't help but wonder how long this will last since John struggles to keep anyone around him. How long till Theophil sees John for who he really is. 

It is a bad poem, even by John standards. 

[Palimpsest]

Oh, bliss.  More poetry!  I've actually missed snarking on John's poems.  Some choice phrases.

Quote

the parting of Theophil's coming,

OK, I have a dirty mind.

Quote

For he already stood to inherit, a farm he's grown to love
But the choices that he's making, are now seeking things Above

Not sure why he can't still inherit the farm.  
 

Quote

He dearly loves his family, with every beat of heart
And we know the pain of sorrow, as the time's come to depart

It sounds as though he's on his deathbed not a fake missionary trip.

Quote

But the God that sent us Jesus, His only begotten Son
Is the God that still is sending, for Christ died for everyone
But many now are perishing, in sin's delusion caught
They don't know of God's Righteousness, only works have they been taught
They are trusting in their goodness, "filthy rags" Isaiah said
And who will go and tell them, 'fore they perish upon their beds

I'm sure this is a cut and paste from one of his other pomes.  He's so repetitive.

Quote

 how will the blinded hear?

With their ears?  

[Fluffles]

Regarding the Rodriguez kids, they certainly do not have the genes of either of their parents. There is nothing skinny about David and Jill is pretty curvy too. It pains me to say this but the Rodriguez kids seem to have exactly the same phsical appearance as the Turpin kids. I do worry that they may have muscle wastage or developmental problems due to extremely poor nutrition. They are cetainly not getting a balanced diet

 

[Meeka]

John is also now claiming that a plot for a gang to attack his family has been uncovered. Satan is fighting.

[MarblesMom]

9 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

And who will go and tell them, 'fore they perish upon their beds

Isn't he frequently in his bed....?  At least he writes on a subject with which he is familiar.

[squiddysquid]

Why would a "gang" even bother if the government is about to kick him out?

Also, what kind of gang? A catholic prayer group?

[subsaharanafrica]

47 minutes ago, squiddysquid said:

Also, what kind of gang? A catholic prayer group?

I just spit tea all over my computer. This is one of the most legitimately hilarious things I have read in a very long time. 

[gustava]

So Shrader is preparing the Texas sheeple for his departure?

[Freejin]

A quote on John’s prayer letter. Whoa. 

 

Brother John, I do believe that to realize the depth of deceit and the total cultural difference of our culture compared the the Zambian culture and consideration of life, we all as Americans have to go through what you described. Oh the anguish of Satan controlled people of greed and avarice so well disguised and played out as if saved yet hearts of death, full of dead mens bones for the love of money upon us and it either makes us stronger in humble faith or destroys our ministry

[Palimpsest]

^^^

And that charming comment was made by another "missionary" to Zambia.  He lives in Livingstone.  https://www.facebook.com/phil.stephens.773

John responds, "Well said brother."

Their contempt for the Zambian people makes me want to puke.

[formergothardite]

22 hours ago, Meeka said:

John is also now claiming that a plot for a gang to attack his family has been uncovered. Satan is fighting.

Is he getting notes written in blood yet? 

[Palimpsest]

8 hours ago, gustava said:

So Shrader is preparing the Texas sheeple for his departure?

Or he's running short on cash and sympathy so has invented another attack by Satan major crisis.

I don't think John ever wants to leave Zambia.  He's never had it so good.  More money than he has ever seen before, no accountability, no supervision, and no-one who knows when he twists the truth so hard it screams.

6 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Is he getting notes written in blood yet? 

Is Treasure Island read by Fundies?  If so, he'll claim a Black Spot written on one of his John and Roman tracts.

 

[Gobsmacked]

13 hours ago, gustava said:

So Shrader is preparing the Texas sheeple for his departure?

He has been planning this for a while (imo). He just couldn't think of an original idea.  "A gang" could mean anything. 

John was born an idiot, nothing will change there. The idiocy is firmly embedded in his DNA. Please Rufus don't let it be passed on to his children. 

 

[Gobsmacked]

5 hours ago, Freejin said:

A quote on John’s prayer letter. Whoa. 

 

Brother John, I do believe that to realize the depth of deceit and the total cultural difference of our culture compared the the Zambian culture and consideration of life, we all as Americans have to go through what you described. Oh the anguish of Satan controlled people of greed and avarice so well disguised and played out as if saved yet hearts of death, full of dead mens bones for the love of money upon us and it either makes us stronger in humble faith or destroys our ministry

This quote could be turned around and directed at John?

John is Satan's puppet controlled by greed and avarice. He doesn't disguise his greed well though. He loves/ collects his possessions. Children, books, vehicles, people ( although they don't stay around for long or do his bidding being ungrateful Zambians etcetc. John would willingly climb over dead men's bones if it gained him something he wants/wanted.  He did. He literally stood on a mans grave, resplendent in his best safari hat, to get the best photo for his sheeple back home in Texas. Love of money is certainly upon him (well other people's hard earned cash). It's the type of money he prefers.  Donations large or small. All grist to John's mil.

He is awful. 

[Palimpsest]

MISSIONARY REPORT CARD 2017 -2018

Johnny Shrader, Kafue,  Zambia, SubSaharan Africa.  And Beyond.

Provoking Satan's Attacks: A+

Johnny really excels in this subject.  He has had more attacks by Satan in a single year than most missionaries manage in their entire careers.  Good work.

Grifting: B+

Could do better.  Johnny is still doing well in this area, but we note with regret that his acquisition of luxury items and vehicles has slowed down considerably this year.

Chucking Former Converts Under Buses:  A+ 

Johnny has demonstrated skills in this area.  His treatment of Roderick was particularly vicious.  Almost as good as his attacks on Arcade and Jolis.

Local Languages:  D

Johnny still lags behind in language acquisition.  Although his ability to mimic local Zambian accents is fascinating and brings his grade up, he is still struggling with beginner level Nyanja.  Also, an alert member of our faculty did notice his attempt to claim Chichewa as a new language.  As it is the same language as Nyanja that was rather sneaky.  (See Twisting the Truth.)

Lack of Transparency: A+

Excellent work.  John's legal status in Zambia is still unknown.  The source of his funding is still unknown.  And we still don't know how he is wangling all of this.  

Twisting the Truth: A

There are too many examples of lies, fibs, omissions, and rewriting of the facts for us to detail here.  Good work. 

Fertility:  A

Welcome little Caleb. We think it is time Johnny drops this subject.  He has proven his ability to impregnate Esther 11 times and enough is enough.  Yes, we know the Rodrigueses are working on 13 kids and the Bateses and Duggars 19 apiece.  That is irrelevant.

Lack of Charity:  A+

The Biggest Shit Missionary of the Year Award goes to Johnny for his attempt to refuse a ride to the hospital to a dying man.

Toilet Paper Production: C

After a slow start Johnny is making progress in this area.  He is still taking advantage of his kids and locals on the production line, however, and needs to work on his own.

Spelling: B

Much improved.  Johnny has responded well to coaching.

Poetry: F

Tries hard.

[Howl]

@Palimpsest,  You forgot "Plays Well With Others"..... I think there would be consensus on that grade. 

 

On 3/27/2018 at 5:49 PM, Meeka said:

John is also now claiming that a plot for a gang to attack his family has been uncovered. Satan is fighting.

I don't know that there is a specific plot afoot, but I suspect Team Shrader stands out, way out, in their environment  because TruthyMobile, abject whiteness, family size, relative affluence (numerous vehicles, mod cons), extensive efforts to annoy people for Jesus, treating converts like shit and people in the neighborhood gossiping about his comings, goings and doings -- they know more about him than he ever thought possible.  This has made me fear in the past that they could be robbed or worse.  If they were in some other parts of the world, they would most certainly be targeted for kidnapping/ransom. 

John did the right thing, for once, by removing all of the crazy crap written all over the TruthyMobile.  That he actually did that means, to me, there was some objective danger to he and his family or that he was under serious surveillance by authorities over his visa status, or maybe both. 

But Sweet Rufus!  Enough of the Satan histrionics, Bro. John.