Jinger 32: Light into the Darkness According to Jeremy

[fluffernutter]

Ripped jeans, reading a book, and sporting some sneakers. Go Jinger! 

[VelociRapture]

For whoever was curious about where the wedding was:

So the Fort Worth/Dallas area, about 400+ miles from Laredo.

ETA: There’s a ridiculously cute video of Jeremy playing with Spurgeon on Jenni Hartono’s Instagram account - it’s included on the congratulatory post below for JinJer’s anniversary and Spurgeon’s second birthday. 

 

[Fjrocks]

Pardon me, I typically try to focus only on beliefs and discuss specific harmful behaviors. Indulge me  for 5 minutes, in completely anecdotal and superficial thoughts. 

   For some strange reason when Jinger does wear a dress now she looks EXTRA stunning in them.  I can't put my finger on it. There have been several instances from the black sleeveless party dress, to the Forever 21 skirt in new family photos or the simple floral dress from her birthday post. My first reaction was, she looks beautiful, nicely dressed, classic, etc.   Her sisters in dresses look everyday because a dress is no longer special.  Ask me what Jana or Jess was wearing in the last photo I saw of them and I have literally no idea. Are they beautiful? Of course, but every damn outfit blurs together.

   I think it's partially because of the variety in outfits, or "dressing up" for a special occasion, or simply treating the garment with more care. As a child I always had a pair of  "Sunday shoes" and they would stay in perfect condition because I was only allowed to wear them a few hours a week.  They were like dance shoes and I loved wearing them. I would glide around church like a ballerina with big graceful arm moments. (I am totally laughing at the memory.)

   Jinger just wears a dress different now.  I notice it. I notice her. I find it interesting. It's almost ironic, because her parents forced dresses they lost the significance or whatever.   Now because she wears  pants, when she does wears a dress, she appears more "dressed up", more polished then anyone else in the Duggar family.  

 Okay, back to serious topics, thanks for indulging me.

 

[kacarlton]

For whoever was curious about where the wedding was:

So the Fort Worth/Dallas area, about 400+ miles from Laredo.
ETA: There’s a ridiculously cute video of Jeremy playing with Spurgeon on Jenni Hartono’s Instagram account - it’s included on the congratulatory post below for JinJer’s anniversary and Spurgeon’s second birthday. 
 

Oh my gosh, that made my ovaries hurt. And Ben and jessa are letting their little one play with someone wearing shorts. AND Jinger is the first Duggar to make it a year post nuptials without getting pregnant. I hope it’s by choice!

[Bad Wolf]

Holey (holy?) jeans. Go Jinger.

[2manyKidzzz]

@Fjrocks I have thought it was because maybe she went to an actual store and bought a dress specifically for her instead of from a thrift shop. 

[feministxtian]

Jinger looks more "mature" than her sisters...not older, more mature, less "overgrown teenager". She's a grown woman, not a little girl with boobs...Ok, I'm failing miserably to explain...

She just looks more self-assured, more comfortable in her own skin, more grown, more mature, more adult. I know she's what? 24? but she just looks like someone who's....aww shit...y'all know what I'm trying to say. 

[Coconut Flan]

Autonomous.  She finally looks disconnected from the Duggar-borg and a person in her own right.

[Palimpsest]

9 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

Autonomous.  She finally looks disconnected from the Duggar-borg and a person in her own right.

Sorry, I always wanted to think that Jinger had a tiny bit of spark.  And Duggar disconnect.

But she looks like Jeremy's doll.  Dressed in his approved style, which may be close to what she always pined for fashion-wise - but close is no cigar.  And fashion is not that important.

What comes out of her mouth is far more important than how she dresses.

And what he preaches is poison.  Isn't she still going along with that ...

 

[J'Lurker]

Late to the discussion on the 80s movies but.... I hate all of the ones listed so far. Too much drama! I watch media to help turn my brain off and lesson anxiety, so I like to keep it light. I love me some Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. And Real Genius. 

 

Jing is rocking those pants. Overall she is looking happy and healthy... I'm thinking maybe she's finally getting enough sleep now that she only has to share with Jeremy. It explains why she's always nailin' it now. And not having to share her clothes with 12 people of varying sizes...

[Coconut Flan]

I think Jinger is wearing what she wants to wear.  She liked Jeremy's style and that was something that Jessa noted early on.   I don't see him as being so dictatorial as picking out her clothes.  I may be wrong, but I think he likes seeing what she likes.

I have never expected a Duggar to go full on liberal.  Never.  Josh is likely the only one I can see ditching religion probably after his parents are too aged to notice or are deceased.  Jinger has moved away from Gothard fundiedom and yes she's still in conservative evangelical with quite a few of the same hateful views, but that's about as far as I ever expected any of them to go.  If we're wanting Duggarlings and Bateses to embrace gay marriage and abortion rights, I think we're going to have a very, very long wait.  I'm wiling to go with disconnection from Michelle and Jim Bob and a possibility of making decisions without JB looking over her shoulder or controlling where she lives and trying to run her life.  That way there is some hope of seeing a thing or two in a less conservative light.  But then I'm the crazy woman who spent years convincing my fundie-lite neighbors that all us Catholics and Orthodox weren't going to hell so she could accept her SIL without driving him bananas trying to "save" him.  

[nastyhobbitses]

24 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

If we're wanting Duggarlings and Bateses to embrace gay marriage and abortion rights, I think we're going to have a very, very long wait. 

This was similar to what I said to some people about the Pope when he first started. If you're looking for a Pope who's going to be totally down for abortion and gay rights and every progressive cause you can shake a stick at, put that right below "Greenpeace member becomes CEO of ExxonMobil" on the List of Things that Will Totally Happen. Sure, it's totally great and valid to criticize people for holding less-than-great views, but in these particular cases, I'm also OK with taking what I can get and celebrating whatever progress there is, since there's not much to expect, frankly. If Jinger became a queer-friendly feminist who worked in immigration justice, I'd be thrilled. But for now, I'm just mildly pleased that she seems happy and is living a more independent life than she was trained to lead. And if that's all I'm going to get, well, that's the way of this horrible world. 

[PennySycamore]

@backyard sylph,  the vampire on Dark Shadows was Barnabas Collins, played by the wonderful Jonathan Frid.  There may have been other vampires on the show (think I recall Angelique biting someone on the neck) but Barnabas is the one everyone remembers. 

ETA: Quentin's Theme was a top 40 hit and some of us crushed way as much or more on David Selby that they did on Jonathan Frid.  

 

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I think Jinger has been picking out her clothes from the get go. She knew what she liked and she went with it as soon as she could. Jeremy has no issue with her wearing pants or shorts, I think he wants her to look a certain way, and as long as she meets those expectations he doesn't care.  I do think he would veto outfits he found inappropriate and she would comply with his demands, but I'm pretty sure the clothes are all her. As for being free, I think she is free of the Duggar clutches, but she traded one horrible family for a better dressed educated highly polished one. 

[acheronbeach]

I'm a professional type Lady who makes a very good salary, but I often run my outfits/clothes purchases by my man.  I'm from a somewhat... um, inelegant... family, fashion-wise.  Boyfriend is my "classy second opinion" so I don't end up at work in fishnets and a pleather miniskirt.   I don't think that's necessarily a sign of inequality, particularly since Jinger grew up steeped in her family's hideous, tacky fashion tastes.

[evolutionbaby]

6 hours ago, Fjrocks said:

For some strange reason when Jinger does wear a dress now she looks EXTRA stunning in them.  I can't put my finger on it.

Jinger just wears a dress different now.

 

I think it partly has to do with the fact that Jinger is also actually going places and doing interesting things. Sure, they may be fundie things, but she's not at home 24/7 running around after toddlers and throwing a sweater over the #blessedmama t-shirt that the baby just spit up on. All the other women are mothers with multiple children to care for and no where to go, so probably don't have the time or the reason to glam up like Jinger.

12 hours ago, singsingsing said:

It looks more like some kind of waiting room to me, but I don't think we've seen any pictures of the inside of their house yet, have we? So maybe!

That is probably, most likely not their house. Seen as how Jeremy's church is in a shabby old rancher, I doubt the pastor's home is that grand. Looks like the corner of an airport lounge to me; they do an awful lot of travelling.

[Botkinetti]

My hope for Jinger is that she is loving the peace and quiet of living away from the Duggars. Every day that she gets to make her own decisions , no matter how small gives her some confidence so it becomes easier to choose what she wants to do. I'm not talking about major shifts in religious beliefs but simply things like what clothes to wear so she feels comfortable. There are no longer twenty or so people around all day every day judging and commenting on her behaviour. 

I hope she is starting to feel like an adult even though she isn't a mother ( how her cult feels not me ) and capable and competent in her own choices.

[HereticHick]

19 hours ago, FleeJanaFree said:

That screams of 'lobby' to me. I doubt it's their house.

I agree, and I since Jinj performed at Amber Diaz Perez's wedding in the DFW area this weekend, it could be a hotel lobby.

[SapphireSlytherin]

I'm not fundie - never have been. I'm my own person and can do all.the.things that I need to do in order to survive on my own (should I need to). I can plumb, wire, caulk, paint, replace windows, weld, change the oil in my car, change a flat, rebuilt a carburetor AND an engine, sew my own clothes, cook, clean, travel, buy a house, buy a car, and raise a kid. All on my own.

But I still ask my husband for his input on things because I love him and respect him and respect his opinion. When I go clothes shopping, he's my barometer. I'll put on an outfit and come out of the dressing room. He has two responses:  "That's a Lorelai" or "That's an Emily." Those are reference to Gilmore Girls, and it tells me if I'm on point for my age (Lorelai) or have found a frumpy/old lady thing (Emily). When you're 50 and trying to find things that don't look young/trashy or old/frumpy, it helps to have an objective eye along to keep you on track.

Am I a feminist? You bet. But I'm not going to go so far that I kick my husband out and/or ignore/disrespect his views. I also took his name when I married him, and yes - my Daddy walked me down the aisle because:  TRADITION. Not because I was Daddy's property and not because I'm now my husband's property. Having my Daddy as part of one of the best days of my life was important to me.

Asking Jinger to disrespect Jeremy's views is asinine. She's YOUNG. And she's LEARNING how to live without JB/Meeeeechelle stopping her from doing things she's always wanted to do.

I'm seeing so many 'all or nothing' type posts about Jinger (yes, she's my pet fundie) and her blue jeans, but the world is NOT so black-and-white, and her world isn't either - although she's probably just now learning that grey areas exist and are OK. Give her a break. She's only been out of the Duggardom for a year. A year isn't very long to try to undo the DuggarDamage.

/soapbox

[elliha]

I think one of Jinger's and Jeremy's major bonding things is fashion and I think they in part picked each other due to that interest. I don't think that Jeremy dictates her clothing choices, I think she picks her own outfits and yes, maybe he would say if something if she picked something hideous or wrong for their brand of faith but I don't think that this particular aspect of their life is where he might play the patriarch. I don't think Jinger would forbid him from wearing anything, that would not fit with how she was raised, but I can see her teasing him about an outfit and make him not wear it more times by doing so. 

As much as I believe that Jeremy loves Jeremy more than he loves Jinger I still think she is loved and cared for by him and not just some kind of trophy. I do think they love each other in a quite normal and healthy way. I think their relationship at the very least is miles better than Michelle's and JB's. 

[backyard sylph]

11 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@backyard sylph,  the vampire on Dark Shadows was Barnabas Collins, played by the wonderful Jonathan Frid.  There may have been other vampires on the show (think I recall Angelique biting someone on the neck) but Barnabas is the one everyone remembers. 

ETA: Quentin's Theme was a top 40 hit and some of us crushed way as much or more on David Selby that they did on Jonathan Frid.  

 

 

Fun! But I'm not sure which it was now, because Quentin wouldn't have been at all my type, but not necessarily Barnabas, either, though it is somewhat more likely. So now I have to investigate this thoroughly, and figure out who was in my childhood crush stable along with Jim Garner, Speed Racer, and a couple others...

[JesSky03]

I don't feel like Jeremy is dictating every outfit that Jinger wears. She probably does ask him for his opinion or he may just simply offer up his opinion due to his interest in fashion. I don't see anything inherently wrong with that as long as they are both comfortable with it. We just went clothes shopping for my husband and I sat in the dressing room with him to help him make decisions. I wasn't afraid to tell him what I liked or didn't like and he almost always sided with my opinion (of course at the end of the day any final decision on his clothing is up to him as long as its within the budget). 

[livinginthelight]

I really think @Coconut Flan nailed it. She is beginning to learn to think for herself.

The acorn is not far from the tree, theologically speaking. But the important, huge part for me is that she is obviously willing to reevaluate some of the basic messages she has been taught for her whole life. Messages about clothing and about the importance of popping out babies.

She is showing the capacity for independent thought, which opens up new horizons for her. It's like she found a new muscle.

And she is unique (so far) among Duggar offspring. The label "kidult" no longer applies to her. Kudos to her.

[PennySycamore]

@backyard sylph,  I had to look this up because it's been so long (like 50 years) since I've seen Dark Shadows regularly, but Quentin Collins was a werewolf.  I don't know who the Dark Shadows vampires were other than Barnabas and Angelique.  

[Knight of Ni]

Was the series better than the movie? I remember disliking the movie so much I turned it off before it was finished.