Maxwell 13: And Another One Bites the Dust - John is Engaged

[Captain Obvious]

3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Chances are that an email announcing the engagement has already been sent out to the Maxwell faithful who don't know the Bontragers or read their blog.  The polloi will have to wait until the marriage has happened to be informed.  I predict that no announcement will be made earlier than January 1, 2018.  We can all happily anti-fast through the holidays!

I agree with this. 

Also - the engagement was six weeks ago. While the Bontragers didn't want to distract from the boys' weddings, that wouldn't have been an issue with the Maxwells. They could/would have announced it then, or shortly after the weddings, if they were going to. 

That the Bontragers have announced is kind of irrelevant. They probably had to announce because they are going on tour and have said that the tour will be Chelsy's last, so the reveal was partially for the benefit of people considering attending those shows. Oh - and because their family is a bit more open about social announcements and chooses to announce engagements.

[JermajestyDuggar]

37 minutes ago, Captain Obvious said:

That the Bontragers have announced is kind of irrelevant. They probably had to announce because they are going on tour and have said that the tour will be Chelsy's last, so the reveal was partially for the benefit of people considering attending those shows. Oh - and because their family is a bit more open about social announcements and chooses to announce engagem

They are WAY more open about social announcements. They announced each of the engagements of the three boys soon after they became engaged. And they posted many updates on wedding planning, engagement parties, and showers. Chelsy is very busy right now with wedding planning so she may get behind on some posts but I'm sure she will post about her shower and preparations up until the big day. Then I imagine there will be complete radio silence since I would hope she's enjoying her honeymoon and not blogging. 

[littlehouse]

Well.  I hate to do this.  But the blog did get me to do something.  We did a couple fire drills with the kids today.  How to get out of their room if the hallway is on fire. etc

I don't want to give the Maxhells any praise, but I am glad I got on this.

When I asked my six year old what to do when she hears the alarm she said run and get your shoes.  We had a long talk about not hiding, not grabbing anything from their room...even to my daughters tears, the cats.  They need to stick together and work as a team.

So, ugh, thank you Maxwells, I guess.

 

[snowfootwaltz]

Last night from 4-6 am I had a very vivid Maxhell dream. 

I was sent to the Maxwell compound in Leavenworth as punishment, not sure why (perhaps being too lax in scheduling). There were a slew of other young ladies living there too. All skirted and learning the Maxwell ways. I was wearing Adidas running shorts and no one would look me in the eye. Teri found me sitting in the bay window and ordered me to help with dinner. She tossed me an apron to wear to cover my defrauding knees. The apron was floor-length.

And! I figured out why it takes so long to clean the kitchen! They had NINE, count 'em, NINE kitchen ranges. All the skirted ladies were cooking dinner. No men in sight except for Stud John who kept walking past the window.

Later that night Dream Me helped put the ABC girls to bed. We read Dr. Seuss and they were all wearing Carter's fleece footed sleepers (I did just go shopping for sleepers for my three-month-old, so this part sort of made sense). But then it got weird because all of them even the oldest were regulated to potty chairs in their shared bedroom and did not know how to use the actual bathroom.

And that, my friends, is why I will no longer catch up on FJ in the middle of the night while feeding my baby.

[Captain Obvious]

33 minutes ago, snowfootwaltz said:

Last night from 4-6 am I had a very vivid Maxhell dream. 

I was sent to the Maxwell compound in Leavenworth as punishment, not sure why (perhaps being too lax in scheduling). There were a slew of other young ladies living there too. All skirted and learning the Maxwell ways. I was wearing Adidas running shorts and no one would look me in the eye. Teri found me sitting in the bay window and ordered me to help with dinner. She tossed me an apron to wear to cover my defrauding knees. The apron was floor-length.

And! I figured out why it takes so long to clean the kitchen! They had NINE, count 'em, NINE kitchen ranges. All the skirted ladies were cooking dinner. No men in sight except for Stud John who kept walking past the window.

Later that night Dream Me helped put the ABC girls to bed. We read Dr. Seuss and they were all wearing Carter's fleece footed sleepers (I did just go shopping for sleepers for my three-month-old, so this part sort of made sense). But then it got weird because all of them even the oldest were regulated to potty chairs in their shared bedroom and did not know how to use the actual bathroom.

And that, my friends, is why I will no longer catch up on FJ in the middle of the night while feeding my baby.

That is spectacular. 15 bean burritos out of 10!

[scoutsadie]

9 hours ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

Reminds me of Derick Dillard starting a Twitter war with Jazz Jennings right after Jill had a rough time giving birth to her second child. Really, guys, don't you have OTHER priorities??? 

Oh, let's be clear, though - that was fucking cyberbulling, not a Twitter war; Jazz responded with maturity and dignity to that asshole's attacks.

[StacyW]

On 10/14/2017 at 7:07 AM, fundiefan said:

He goes on secret missions! But, less snarky, he does go to Magento conferences, seemingly quite a bit based on his mentions on Twitter. 

Anything else is all shrouded in secrecy since the dog & pony public money making scheme has dried up. 

I think it's Jesse that goes to the Magento conferences. John doesn't seem to be involved in the family "business"

[Pianokeeper]

It's possible John didn't WANT to be included in the Maxwell family blog. Whether Steve very pointedly asked, "Well, son, these horrible online atheist trolls are saying all sorts of defrauding gross things about you" or John independently decided he just didn't want to be seen as a sex symbol, I could easily believe John agreed to being mostly removed from the blog.  

Whatever exactly conspired to prevent any John photos on the blog, that combined with the general "we no longer post about relationships until after the weddings" leaves me totally unsurprised that this engagement has gone -- and most likely will continue to go -- unaddressed. 

[fundiefan]

24 minutes ago, StacyW said:

I think it's Jesse that goes to the Magento conferences. John doesn't seem to be involved in the family "business"

You're probably right. I confuse them all the time. It's Joseph & Jesse's twitter I've read,

[nastyhobbitses]

On 10/13/2017 at 6:06 PM, Sister Mozz said:

Jesse writes as well as his sister. Take this tweet, for example:

"Case in point" is not the right idiom. It doesn't make sense in this context.

 

Can we just start compiling the best Captain Obvious life-hacks and tips that the Maxwells have gifted us?

[Captain Obvious]

50 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Can we just start compiling the best Captain Obvious life-hacks and tips that the Maxwells have gifted us?

Wait... what?

#thisismyfaultforchoosingthisusername

[church_of_dog]

Just now, Captain Obvious said:

Wait... what?

#thisismyfaultforchoosingthisusername

I know, I was confused by @nastyhobbitses‘s post until I realized she quoted Captain Obvious and not @Captain Obvious...  

[Dandruff]

Anyone know when NR Anna is due?  I'm wondering when we'll be hearing about her varicose veins again.

[divadivine]

7 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Anyone know when NR Anna is due?  I'm wondering when we'll be hearing about her varicose veins again.

The chart says February. 

[SolomonFundy]

Another not-engagement post! The rush and pace of "fresh" blog material this week is interesting. They will apparently post about anything but That Which Is Forbidden. Cool. Can't wait to see what song and dance they trot out next. I'm hoping for a smug tutorial by Teri on how to not complete a small task in one sitting, followed by at least 3 clumsy reposts of the creepy ass video where Anna pretends to be a fetus.

Regarding the list of "sister-quality time hints", shouldn't that be "sister quality-time hints"? Otherwise it seems like the implication is that these hints are of Sister Quality, which is probably inferior to Brother Quality somehow.

While reading the Sister-Quality™ suggestions on how to fritter away your fertile youth, I had a (new-to-me) thought. Possibly inspired by the smiley face at the end of the line, "clean a relative's house" suddenly struck me as yet another Maxwell control tool. The Young Unmarrieds are sent out to "bless" their married siblings by combing through cleaning all of their personal belongings and living areas, often by surprise. Guerilla cleaning tactics may truly be a blessing to some people, but I'm starting to think that it's a ruse for snooping on behalf of Steve. 

[Howl]

And then they come back to be debriefed by Steve.  "Did the Lord convict you to observe any unChrist-like behavior in your brother's house?  Has your sister-in-law been convicted to follow the unspoken rules of Stevehovah? Are there empty Pepsi cans in the trash? Per capita burrito consumption (if any)?  How does she cut her lettuce?  Does she use Maxwell chore packs?"

[Captain Obvious]

57 minutes ago, SolomonFundy said:

Regarding the list of "sister-quality time hints", shouldn't that be "sister quality-time hints"? Otherwise it seems like the implication is that these hints are of Sister Quality, which is probably inferior to Brother Quality somehow.

While reading the Sister-Quality™ suggestions on how to fritter away your fertile youth, I had a (new-to-me) thought. Possibly inspired by the smiley face at the end of the line, "clean a relative's house" suddenly struck me as yet another Maxwell control tool. The Young Unmarrieds are sent out to "bless" their married siblings by combing through cleaning all of their personal belongings and living areas, often by surprise. Guerilla cleaning tactics may truly be a blessing to some people, but I'm starting to think that it's a ruse for snooping on behalf of Steve. 

Ahahaha - surely Convicting Sister-Quality™ Time in the Parking Lot of Goldfish is a new post count title. 

[Granwych]

9 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Anyone know when NR Anna is due?  I'm wondering when we'll be hearing about her varicose veins again.

I'm thankful that nobody writes about any Maxwell's hemorrhoids.

[HereticHick]

Go for walk with my sister?  Thanks Maxwells, I never ever would have thought of that.

"Visit a Widow"  -- WTeverlovingF?

Now I am afraid that Mr Hick will die before me and I will be plagued with random fundy maidens knocking at my door. Lets hope I am listening to Metallica, or NWA, or watching a saucy movie, when they visit.

 

Ah, Maxwell-- where nasty-looking cream puff pie is more important than John's upcoming marriage.

[nomoxian]

Quote

Now, she’s reading a chapter each night of a Moody book to her younger sister. Friday, they made Cream Puff Pie

Now, can you create a more awkward sentence? Monday, I attempted to outdo the Maxwells.

[Marian the Librarian]

Quote

So, you older sisters out there, what can you do to bless your sister? Please share your suggestions in the comments below. I want to here them! My sisters are my best friends.

The poor writing/spelling/grammar is just downright painful.

[anjulibai]

NR Anna is due sometime in February. They never give an exact date, though. Not sure why. 

[Granwych]

On ‎10‎/‎15‎/‎2017 at 11:02 AM, StacyW said:

I think it's Jesse that goes to the Magento conferences. John doesn't seem to be involved in the family "business"

I am getting a rather off-the-beam chuckle at how some people refer to defecating as "doing your business."  For sure, the Maxwells' (main) business is shitty.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Wow! Spend a week having a near heart-attack and miss everything!

1. Run John! Enjoy life. On their house--it was probably the only re-poed one in the neighborhood. Jesse probably has to wait for the next.....

2. John getting engaged and Sarah writes more [picture quote fingers please] "hipster" speak-- Mary and the "crew" and 'grabbing" some pictures. Almost profane in it's hipster-ish-ness... GA!

3. On Melanie's schedule....  Over 300 words to say I love my phone way more than I love homeschooling? Or 300 words to say I married a dick and must obey his every whim even when trying to educated the kids. Honestly.....

4. Could it be the girls can only get married AFTER the boys? Odd but maybe not--it is Maxhell

 

[scoutsadie]

1 hour ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Wow! Spend a week having a near heart-attack and miss everything!

Yikes - how scary! Hope you're feeling better and getting good care.