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Maxwell 13: And Another One Bites the Dust - John is Engaged


Coconut Flan

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I would bet on Stevehova being the Best Man, but I suspect he will end up being the Pastor of the wedding.

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Since the two families have known each other for so long, John already knew that although Chelsy has the same belief system, she is just a little more independent and less robotic than his sisters and sisters-in-law. That’s obviously what John wanted or he wouldn’t have asked her to marry him. I doubt she is suddenly going to become a Maxwell robot. I don’t think we will be seeing her in a frumper or rationing animal crackers. Yes, she will be out protesting with every other Maxwell but she may still be drinking her Pepsi while doing it. 

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my MIL wanted my husband to marry a submissive meek and mild girl. He decided he didn't want to do that.. and married me... and I'd say I'm a stubborn, opinionated girl who expected a marriage of equals.  Hubby got opposition up until our wedding day.  MIL tried to control me through hubby after marriage... he wouldn't have a bar of that and yelled at her that he was not going to tell me to do xyz.  She figured it out pretty quickly.. 

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I hope Chelsy can be a friend for Elissa. I don't know much about the Bontragers. How fundie are they?

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1 hour ago, terranova said:

I hope Chelsy can be a friend for Elissa. I don't know much about the Bontragers. How fundie are they?

This says it all about how fundie they are (while also being unintentionally hilarious):

https://www.fromallison.com/nurturing-brothers-manhood/

I actually thought Allison would be the Bontrager girl John would marry. She seems more submissive, and I've never seen her in pants in any of the family's blogs.

It's weird though - I saw the news on the Bontrager Instagram, linking to their blog, rather than here, and because I was on my phone I had to zoom in to see who was in the photos. My thought process was: "oh, it's Chelsy, I wonder if the guy with her is John... oh so it is....".

 

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1 hour ago, Captain Obvious said:

It's weird though - I saw the news on the Bontrager Instagram, linking to their blog, rather than here, and because I was on my phone I had to zoom in to see who was in the photos. My thought process was: "oh, it's Chelsy, I wonder if the guy with her is John... oh so it is....".

 

Me too! It's the check shirt.

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Re Chelsy's politics, I'm always amused that Fundies believe socialism is full on communism - it's so wildly incorrect, it's hilarious!  But Clinton would be seen as centre-left in the UK.   "Sodomitic agenda" though - just wow.

@VodouDoll Cold Comfort Farm!  That's exactly the one, thank you so much!  So appropriate for so many Fundy families!

@Palimpsest If there's a Heyer club, can we talk about the big finale of the Unknown Ajax, too?  I laughed out loud when I first read that.

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Didn't Joe do a "NO TOUCHING!" (I think of Arrested Development every time) engagement, if I'm not mistaken? I'm a bit surprised that John is sidehugging the shit out of her (and she's showing her KNEES). It's cute and they look cute together, and I wish them well, but I wonder how the rest of the family is taking this. I'm starting Maxwell Wedding Bingo now:

Everyone cries inconsolably about him moving a two-minute drive/8 minute walk away from home

Horribly/weirdly lit wedding photos by Christopher

Steve's fashion edicts mandate awful bridesmaid dresses

At least one Wedding LifeHacks!!!! post by Sarah or Teri, in which something incredibly obvious and simple (do the decorations ahead of time, go to the bathroom well ahead of the ceremony if you are wearing a long or full-skirted dress, don't repeatedly dunk your hand into a deep fryer, objects still exist even when they are not in your immediate field of vision) is written about as if they just discovered cold fusion

Third-gen Maxwells are adorable but a little sad-looking

Sarah looks dead inside

Steve writes a passive-aggressive Dad's Corner voicing his displeasure that John touched a woman before the wedding ceremony was completed

Steve makes a speech at the altar about where everyone will go when they die

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57 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

...don't repeatedly dunk your hand into a deep fryer, objects still exist even when they are not in your immediate field of vision

Wait - what? This is a revelation!

Re the photos, the Leppert family paid for professional photography for Mitchell & Bryn's wedding. The photos that have been published on the Bontrager blog look like they're of standard wedding photo quality. With that, and the Bontrager girls' own photography skills and sense for fashion, I can't imagine they've looked at Chris' photos and thought they were something they wanted for themselves.

I'm picking Chris will be politely told that he needs to look after Anna-Marie in her advanced state of pregnancy. Or he'll be one of two photographers, and the other one will have a portfolio that features a distinct lack of gothic-style photos of window fans, toilet doors or people sweeping up afterwards.

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3 hours ago, Captain Obvious said:

This says it all about how fundie they are (while also being unintentionally hilarious):

https://www.fromallison.com/nurturing-brothers-manhood/

 

That is spectacular. :pearlclutching:

Quote

Let me tell you gals, if we aren’t nurturing our brothers’ manhood, we ARE squelching it.  There is no neutral ground.  We either build up their manhood or we tear it down. 

Why get my smelling salts, I had no idea my precious brother was so dependent on me to build up his masculinity like some fantastic penis/testosterone-tacular Lego creation.

Quote

Another thing, girls: be a lady, and your brothers are more likely to behave like gentlemen.  Speak softly, ask their opinion, let them drive the car, talk well of them.

Poor wee men! Their masculinity so terribly delicate that a "girl" driving the car can ruin it!

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3 hours ago, Lurky said:

Re Chelsy's politics, I'm always amused that Fundies believe socialism is full on communism - it's so wildly incorrect, it's hilarious!  But Clinton would be seen as centre-left in the UK.   "Sodomitic agenda" though - just wow.

After reading Chelsy's politics and Allison's post on nurturing brothers, I would say the family is as fundie as they come.  From a belief standpoint, Chelsy will fit right in with the Maxwells, seeing her outspokenness, she might more militant than they are.

However, I am not sure, in spite of the Bontragers knowing the Maxwells for years, how much Chelsy is prepared to see what life is like in the Maxhell inner circle.  As @Palimpsest mentioned, the family is super enmeshed.  Chelsy is close to her family, how is she going to feel if she can't see them as often as she would like, that she's told that family, meaning the Maxwell family, is all she needs?  Yes, Melanie gets to see her family (which seems to be just tolerated by the Maxwells btw) but they are nearby, the Bontragers will be a distance away, it won't be the same.    What if Steveovah puts his foot down on the eyeliner?   How is Chelsy, after working outside the home within her family, going to feel when she will be stuck at home and the only contact she has are the Maxwells for days on end?  That her only approved trips are to Colorado?  What if she has to fight to see her family?

I am not sure she fully knows how this family operates.  Maybe she does, but let's face it, in spite of side hugging, courtship does not allow you to fully see the person you are marrying given the constraints of courtship itself.

I hope for her sake, she knows what she's getting into and that John can erect boundaries with his family.   With enmeshed family dynamics, it can be tough. 

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The Bontrager have a very chatty blog, mainly written by Chels: http://bontragersingers.blogspot.com/  I hope she has been following the Maxwell blog as closely as we have over the years so she knows what she's getting in to.

John, flip the house you bought & move to Iowa with the Bontragers!  They have tons of agri connections that will help your irrigation business.

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I'm sad to say I don't have hope for them moving away from Maxhell anytime soon. But I do admit to having a few hopes for them and they all involve pissing Steve off. I love the thought of pissing Steve off. It's probably because I can't stand control freaks. I love that Lisa Pennington's girls (Hope and Faith) broke free and are living their own lives. 

I have no hopes of any Maxwell making a huge transition. But I would love to see some smaller things that would make Steve explode. I would love to see Chelsy and family make ALL the wedding decisions. I would love to see Chelsy decorate the new house in a very eclectic and colorful decor. I would love to see her posting pictures of Them on their honeymoon both wearing PANTS. I would love for them to spend every other holiday with the Bontragers. These are small things that would drive Steve bonkers. And it makes me smile. 

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3 hours ago, nokidsmom said:

However, I am not sure, in spite of the Bontragers knowing the Maxwells for years, how much Chelsy is prepared to see what life is like in the Maxhell inner circle.

Seriously.  It could be a very nasty shock to see the Maxwells in their natural habitat.  I think watching Teri "gather supplies" for weeks would drive Chels up the wall to say nothing of every single vacation being in Colorado!

The success of this marriage is probably going to depend on John's willingness to put down firm barriers and boundaries with Steve and the "immediate" family.  And his willingness to let Chelsy have a social life beyond the family, go to a church (not just Steve's services at the AL), stay in close contact with her family, and keep her happily occupied with more than home-making.  She's been used to staying busy.

Here's Chelsy's personal blog: http://www.chelsyrenee.com/

The Laundry Line series is mind-numbingly boring.  She introduces us to the concepts of posting scripture all over the place, clutter-free, minimalism, schedules, stain removal, essential oils (quick Young Living plug there), the dot system ... ::yawns::

The Sister Road Trip series is more interesting.  It shows that Chels shares Sarah's obsession with the passive voice, but she and Allison have traveled independently and have a sideline in doing make-up, photography, and music for Fundie weddings.

And there is some Boyeresque fashion advice in there too.  Including how to take in your jeans.  Oh, my.

As far as pissing Steve (and Teri) off:  

  • Chelsy invites Allison to stay.  They kidnap Ellisa and give her a make-over.
  • Sarah goes over to take photographs of the renovation.  She comes home wearing skinny jeans under her skirt.
  • Chels takes down the ceiling fan instead of dusting it.
  • Mary and Anna volunteer to clean Joseph (and Chelsy)'s house.  They come home with fancy braids and full faces of make-up.
  • Chels grabs Teri's cardigan, sews on the buttons, washes, dries, and irons it all in one day.
  • Steve's "church" asks that Chelsy takes over the music for the services.  They are tired of turning off their hearing aids when Anna and Mary sing.
  • Chelsy, not Christopher, is asked to do wedding photography.  Chris makes himself useful carrying the cameras.

And the list goes on. :)

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20 minutes ago, meee said:

Why is Chelsy's name spelled that way, anyway? It makes me twitch.

I totally agree. I'm having a very hard time not typing Chelsey or Chelsea. 

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So I guess every time the Maxhell blog talks about the "Sweet B family" we will know they mean the Bontragers. 

I predict the extensive Bontrager singing tours will end in a year, unless they just want to merge with the Bower family singers. Anyone want to buy a used fundy family bus?

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10 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Anyone want to buy a used fundy family bus?

Perhaps we should alert Bro. Gary.

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40 minutes ago, meee said:

Why is Chelsy's name spelled that way, anyway? It makes me twitch.

her parents probably wanted to make a relatively popular name unique.  i like Chelsea, and Chelsey is ok, but like you, Chelsy doesn't cut it for me.  to each their own.  i have a *very* common first name, and of the 50 to 60 people i've known over the years with the same name, i've seen only one variant spelling.  but i survived; common names are perfectly fine, but having to tell people how to spell a different version is a massive PITA (i've always had to spell my last names for people; i once told Mr. CL his last name should be Smith or Jones).

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42 minutes ago, meee said:

Why is Chelsy's name spelled that way, anyway? It makes me twitch.

I hate it too, but it is the spelling she uses. I'm not sure if that's how her parents spelled her legal name.

On the topic of names, how do we pronounce "Bontragers"? Hard or soft "g"?

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1 minute ago, nausicaa said:

On the topic of names, how do we pronounce "Bontragers"? Hard or soft "g"?

Also, long A? Is it like tray or travel?

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I think it is Bon-tra-ger.  As in tray and tiger.

I'm going from an old memory of JB Duggar messing up his "good friend's" name on 19K&C and Mr. B having to correct him repeatedly though.

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