Bro Gary Hawkins Part 2: Saved and Eating Weens, Like a MAN!

[pamplemousse]

Ok Folks,

I just have to ask...

If red weens in pink ween gravy over biscuits are MAN food, what is WOMAN food? A dainty little garden salad? An oversized bar of chocolate? A plate of linguine and shrimp fra diavolo with a good glass of wine? Okay, so Bro Hawkins would never approve of the wine. But, anyway, discuss.

- Sis pamplemousse, who is too fond of food and her waistline shows it

[SuperNova]

7 hours ago, church_of_dog said:

OK folk,

My G-Hawese is still not so good but I thinks this is what yure askin' four?

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Ok folks, I think we should have our own retreat: The Spa Ghettiway. A godly weekend retreat featuring Sis Becky Hawkins as our guest speaker. She can tell us all about how to keep your man saved and full of gravy. Activities will include a cooking demo for pink ween recipes. Each paid retreat goer will receive a valuable coupon for pink weens in ME and an RV ride around the parking lot! Call me and I'll tell you how many pieces of money it costs.

Sis Nova

[Spanger]

52 minutes ago, pamplemousse said:

Ok Folks,

I just have to ask...

If red weens in pink ween gravy over biscuits are MAN food, what is WOMAN food? A dainty little garden salad? An oversized bar of chocolate? A plate of linguine and shrimp fra diavolo with a good glass of wine? Okay, so Bro Hawkins would never approve of the wine. But, anyway, discuss.

- Sis pamplemousse, who is too fond of food and her waistline shows it

Ok folks- the answer to this is easily found on B.Haw's facebook page:

[Spanger]

Although, really, I was gonna scroll her page for a recipe I had found on there a couple weeks back, but the banana split was one of the first things and just too perfect.  Lol.

She had a recipe up for chocolate chip cookie peanut butter s'mores bars, and as soon as I saw it, I purposed to make it.  First I made the cookie dough- om nom nom!  Then I was assembling it in the pan, reading the instructions, like- 6 Hershey's bars?!  Too much!  Let's do 4.  A whole cup of peanut butter?!  I'll die.  Let's do 1/2 cup.  A whole frickin jar of marshmallow fluff?!  OFFS, I think half a jar will be plenty...  Oops, this is hard to spread, a whole jar it is.

Even with my cut-backs, the recipe was ridiculous.  And I am no stranger to overly rich desserts.  I mean, I still ate it.  It just took me longer than 24 hours (which is how long desserts normally last at my house.)

I just hope that recipe is an indication that the hawkins kids get plenty to eat too!

[Dandruff]

12 minutes ago, Spanger said:

I just hope that recipe is an indication that the hawkins kids get plenty to eat too!

Hope so, but betWEEN the main courses and the desserts, I'm concerned that their diets may not fully conform to the USDA food pyramid.

Sis Dandruff

[griffin]

Thanks Red Jumper, I keep thinking we could name a thread "Bro Gary loves pink weenies"

[Georgiana]

Ok folks,

Given Doug the Tool's World Tour, is this the year Tool'o'Ween becomes the Night of the Good Weens? Because Halloween is my FAVORITE Ween, and may be the only ween Bro Gary WONT gobble up.  

I personally will be celebrating this wonderful ween by donating $12 to a charity that does something more than turn flour into gravy, miraculous though that is, dressing up with my niece, and having a good old fashioned anti-fast.  

Let me know if Rufus lays it on your heart to celebrate too, in any fashion you would like.  Maybe scare your family with weenie gravy?

Sis Gee

[Fascinated]

Ok, folks, nothing prepared me for this guy.  Not reading here about our wonderfully entertaining fundies.  Not reading various and astonishing Facebook comments lo these many years.  Nothing.  I have been laughing until tears were rolling down my face.  The comments under the Sis Becky’s haircut post had me in dire straights.  Thank you all for everything you’ve done here. Let’s not let this thread die, k? 

(Not)Sis F.

[unsafetydancer]

Totally off topic but @Fascinated welcome back! Not seen you in a while.

I wonder how big the world's biggest banana split is. Please tell me I'm not the only one who thinks it's a bit innuendoey.

[MayMay1123]

okay @unsafetydancer

its Surry County's largest banana split...so probably not very big. the world's largest was built recently in australia with 40,000 bananas...so i'm betting Surry County's won't be nearly as impressive (who knew FJ had so many cute banana emojis?!)

sis May, who likes bananas but can no longer eat them ::sigh::

[clueliss]

The thread title just mad me hear it in my head as Eat Weens.  Like a man only to the tune of the Def Leppard Song Make Love Like a Man.  Thank you for this thread.  I've just caught up and snort laughed much.  

[DancingPhalanges]

Ok folks. I have been absent, missing discussing weens, but life hurled a new job and bronchitis at me. I have been reading and enjoying and getting in some good weenie laughs. All is well with the bronchitis now, finally can have some wine tonite!

Thank you and carry on in all good weenieness. 

Sis. Dancing Phalanges - is it weird that my phone suggests how to sign this post?!

[Lurky]

Sis @Fascinated it's great to see you back!  Extra gerat great that it's in the weens thread too.

[clueliss]

I didn't take a screenshot or save the meme (and can't find it now) but yesterday my social media gave me this meme of you have $20 to feed 6 people for a week, what do you make/serve/fix or something like that.  Naturally, my verbal response was to say (out loud) Pink Weens (and gloppy gravy with real flour).  

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

Ok folks,

I don't really have anything of any substance to add to this thread other than it's giving me a lot of giggles through my newborn induced sleep deprived haze... I did ask Mr JFH if he wanted some "man food, y'know, good weens" and then showed him the picture of the weens and gravy. He made a face and compared it to (in his words) "something you'd see as the result of food poisoning". I should have him read this thread so he can get the humor.

Sis JFH, birthed two 9 pounders and weighed in at 8 lbs 8 oz herself 

[Corntree]

This is the funniest damn thread on FJ. Thank you for all the laughs. I love how quickly Bro. Gary became an obsession here. I tell my husband about all the fundies I follow, and you'd better believe he knows that weens are good man eating.

[keepercjr]

Ok folks,

Gary commented on a live video of someone selling that $5 jewelry...

 

Sis keeper.

[FundieFarmer]

I mean, here's the thing, folks. Could I donate $25 to support Bro. Gary's mobilehomemobile? Yes. Do I want to support the RV of Weens? No. Would I rather spend it on something else, like my first ever actual piercings so I never have to have clip ons again? Absolutely. 

Sis. FF

[Coy Koi]

1 minute ago, FundieFarmer said:

I mean, here's the thing, folks. Could I donate $25 to support Bro. Gary's mobilehomemobile? Yes. Do I want to support the RV of Weens? No. Would I rather spend it on something else, like my first ever actual piercings so I never have to have clip ons again? Absolutely.

I'd rather spend $25 on $25 worth of candy corn from a discount store the day after the Ween of Hallo, and then being forced to eat all of it in one sitting, than to donate it to Bro Gary.

When are you getting the piercings? Sounds like fun!

[MayMay1123]

6 minutes ago, FundieFarmer said:

 the RV of Weens?

Sis. FF

like this?

[pamplemousse]

23 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

like this?

<snip for brevity; pretend the pic of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile is here>

Can't be. It's not pink, and it looks like it's in good running condition.

Nor do I think Bro Gary is spending the money to buy Oscar Mayer wieners.  What he's eating are probably those gross cheap ones.

[SuperNova]

35 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

like this?

I've been inside that thing! Lol. They used to give a free weenie whistle with visit. I wonder if they still do. It's the rolling weenmobile of Bro Gary's dreams. Maybe not. It might not be pink enough.

[DancingPhalanges]

Ok folks. Bro. G Haw and Sis. B. Haw and family are now moved into the griftmobile. They ate deer and some other animal with corn, no mention of weens. 

Sis. Dancing Phalanges 

[MarblesMom]

The way he wrote the post, I really was not sure if it was deer corn (like for a feed plot) or what.

So, Bro Gary is in the WFZ (Ween Free Zone) for the evening.  Hope it makes it thru.

[nokidsmom]

6 hours ago, SuperNova said:

I've been inside that thing! Lol. They used to give a free weenie whistle with visit. I wonder if they still do. It's the rolling weenmobile of Bro Gary's dreams. Maybe not. It might not be pink enough.

OMG the Weinermobile!   We encountered it on a wintery night driving home from spending the weekend with a couple of Mr. No's friends.   We were on the interstate, driving along and I noticed lights of the vehicle coming up behind us.   Thought it was a truck but the headlights were much lower to the ground.  In a minute the vehicle passed us and it was the Weinermobile!

They still give out the free whistles.  Got one at the WI state fair last year where the Weinermobile was parked the day we were visiting.