Bro Gary Hawkins Part 2: Saved and Eating Weens, Like a MAN!

[MayMay1123]

okay folks

imo, it is sis becky writing anything that is legible on the weenie page, and deleting insulting posts. if its unreadable, its bro gary writing it...

sis may ::momma to 3, maymay to 2::

[General Jinjur]

Ok folks, whichever of you brilliant heathens runs the Bro Gary FB spoof page, you almost killed me with ween milks n cheese. Also, Chelle is brilliant.

Sis Jin

[Coy Koi]

16 minutes ago, General Jinjur said:

Ok folks, whichever of you brilliant heathens runs the Bro Gary FB spoof page, you almost killed me with ween milks n cheese. Also, Chelle is brilliant.

I don't know if I'm ever going to be the same after "man food fighting". Chelle is awesome too and needs to post more.

[smittykins]

“Everybody was man food fighting...”

[anniebgood]

2 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Ok folks, whichever of you brilliant heathens runs the Bro Gary FB spoof page, you almost killed me with ween milks n cheese. Also, Chelle is brilliant.

Sis Jin

 

Ok folks, 

Since my FB foo has deserted me for a while, can you post the link pretty please with pink weens, government cheese and gleaned greens?

Sis Annie

 

[General Jinjur]

1 hour ago, anniebgood said:

Ok folks, 

Since my FB foo has deserted me for a while, can you post the link pretty please with pink weens, government cheese and gleaned greens?

Sis Annie

 

Ok sis, https://m.facebook.com/BroGaryHawkins/?tsid=0.8805509798168989&source=result

And here's a glimpse of the joy that awaits you:

 

Spoiler

 

[FundieFarmer]

Ok, "Lord of the KGB" really got me [emoji23]

 

ETA: Serious note though, and yes I do think it's funny and no not as a mod... I personally err on the side of not poking the bear and so I'd caution whoever is making these pages to be cognizant that while FJ is a snark site, there are still people at the heart of it all. There aren't any rules against it but I personally wouldn't want to do any harm, especially when we may not be dealing with altogether stable people. YMMV.

 

[keepercjr]

Ok folks,

I decided to do some digging on G-Haw's FB page to see what I could learn about his motor home history.  They got it in early 2014 for $3,000 and put who knows how many thousands into it after.  By 2016 he was looking at newer ones including one for $72,000.  

Interestingly, he was not always such a shameless grifter.  He posted this when he had the motor home for only a few months

Spoiler

 

This post was just a butcher of English:

Spoiler

 And this made me laugh out loud because apparently fb didn't recognize it as English (as opposed to every other post?

Spoiler

 

Sis Keeper, happily enjoying my home that is firmly attached to the ground and a husband who provides for us.

[Dandruff]

Duz pink weens coz brane damij?

[PopRox]

10 hours ago, JillsFlowerHeadband said:

(As an aside, I'm having trouble not starting posts in other threads with "Ok folks". Maybe the weens have infected my brain. 

You may have Mad Ween Disease. If you suddenly lose the ability to spell or use punctuation, seek emergency medical care IMMEDIATELY.

[Leftitinmysnood]

Ok folks, this is only tangentially related, but we have a murder trial going on in a nearby town where a homeschooled guy tried to murder his lover's husband with arsenic in banana pudding so they could "live together in God's will." I will never think of banana pudding the same way again and suddenly Becky spoon feeding it to Gary seems sinister and she turns into Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd. 

[mango_fandango]

Ok folks,

I am laughing so damn hard. Or would be, if it weren't late at night and I'd wake my parents. 

Going to check the spoof page.

Sis mango_fandango

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

6 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Going to check the spoof page.

Make sure you check out the post about "Chelle Hernandez". 

[mango_fandango]

38 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

Make sure you check out the post about "Chelle Hernandez". 

DA FUQ DID I JUST SEE 

seriously though pretty damn funny

[Ozlsn]

7 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Ok sis, https://m.facebook.com/BroGaryHawkins/?tsid=0.8805509798168989&source=result

Thank you so much, both to the writer and for the link. "KGB Bible" made me burst out laughing.

[Nikedagain?]

19 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Ok folks, whichever of you brilliant heathens runs the Bro Gary FB spoof page, you almost killed me with ween milks n cheese. Also, Chelle is brilliant.

Sis Jin

Comedy gold! I needed to laugh hard non stop for 15 minutes. Thank you!

In Bro Gary's about section: 

"NO SODOMITES OR NO MUSLIM!"

And Chelle's patriot room made me laugh even harder.

Genius. 

[FundieFarmer]

13 hours ago, Leftitinmysnood said:

a homeschooled guy tried to murder his lover's husband with arsenic in banana pudding so they could "live together in God's will."

Ok folks I know I'm really over thinking this but like if you have a lover and you commit murder doesn't that preclude living in God's will because you broke two commandments and that was premeditated sin which makes it extra not okay??

Sis FF, scratching head

[Lurky]

6 minutes ago, FundieFarmer said:

Ok folks I know I'm really over thinking this but like if you have a lover and you commit murder doesn't that preclude living in God's will because you broke two commandments and that was premeditated sin which makes it extra not okay??

I guess you could do the murder, ask God's forgiveness, and because Jesus' blood washes all sins clean, it would be fine?   That's the nearest to "logic" I can get, but I can see at least 1 big flaw in that (not really being sorry, for one!)

[formergothardite]

Ok folks, this thread has made me laugh and laugh. I'm been trying to figure out what "less eating cold good" means. I don't think FB has developed a translator for Bro. Gary.

[church_of_dog]

5 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

Ok folks, this thread has made me laugh and laugh. I'm been trying to figure out what "less eating cold good" means. I don't think FB has developed a translator for Bro. Gary.

I think "servers" means people cooking for them, thus "less eating cold FOOD"

20 minutes ago, FundieFarmer said:

Ok folks I know I'm really over thinking this but like if you have a lover and you commit murder doesn't that preclude living in God's will because you broke two commandments and that was premeditated sin which makes it extra not okay??

Sis FF, scratching head

The true sin is wasting a good banana pudding...

[Ozlsn]

On 05/10/2017 at 8:16 AM, Pink Muffin said:

Since we don´t have these kind of preachers here in Sweden, I also wonder how does his ministry for the LORD work? Do churches contact him and ask him to come and PREACH the TRUTH and the family to sing? Or do the family just pop in some random church and bro Gary goes: OK, folks! Here we are, ready to win some SOULS to the LORD!

I have been wondering that too. Until I started reading here I had no idea that declaring you had a calling from God, jumping in a car/RV and travelling around preaching at random churches for 'love offerings' could be considered a viable career choice. While we do/did have travelling ministers and priests here they are employed and supported by established mainstream churches, they just have enormous parishes. 

It's like the whole snake handling and preaching thing, which also never took off here either - admittedly the types of snakes available here possibly have something to do with that too. I can't imagine anyone would try it more than once... and I for one would prefer to not be in the same building as the venomous snake, thanks.

[Leftitinmysnood]

3 hours ago, FundieFarmer said:

Ok folks I know I'm really over thinking this but like if you have a lover and you commit murder doesn't that preclude living in God's will because you broke two commandments and that was premeditated sin which makes it extra not okay??

Sis FF, scratching head

Ok folk, but they made a "rainbow promise" that they would be together. I assume they are referencing the story of Noah. Apparently that makes it ok, and they were swingers, so she had her husband's permission to sleep with other guys. They did eventually get the husband out of the way and I doubt she submitted to her headship in that.

[Georgiana]

Ok folks,

Killing someone's husband (or arranging for their death) is in the KJV/KJB!  It's David and Bathsheba!  And the Lord of the KJB didn't take too kindly to that, so I would not recommend repeating it.  Unless you want Nathan at your door.  

But I mean, depending on the Nathan....maybe you do.  

Sis Gee

[Red Jumper]

10 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

It's David and Bathsheba!  And the Lord of the KJB didn't take too kindly to that

Well, the offspring died, but David got the woman he desired and lived happily ever after. He was still King David the Great and future ancestor of the Messiah. So he got women, fortune and fame. Depending on your perspective, the trade-off might be worth it. I'll pass but I'm not the famous King.

I also don't bake/make dessert for my lover's spouse. The victims of kitchen fails are the ones I love 

[snickerz]

OK folks, Gary & fam have fled to NC, but the bus is still broken down in WV, he's apparently waiting for some sucker to volunteer to fix it for free. Hopefully it'll be a looooong wait!