Dillards 34: Finding Contentment

[VelociRapture]

44 minutes ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

I think the standard in the US is two days for vaginal and three days for a C-section. I believe the change was because the hospitals were having too many women come back with excessive bleeding so the standards were changed, though you can always check out early. I'm surprised there are people saying that's long!

I stayed two nights for my daughter's birth. I wish I could have stayed longer. Would have made her NICU stay so much easier for me to handle since there would have been just a short elevator ride separating us. 

@karen77The wires could have been a charger. Or it could have been an O2 monitor. I want to say the one my daughter had was connected around her ankle.

35 minutes ago, Dugg@rTime said:

No sweet fellowship for 6 weeks?

i understand if you don't feel like it, but that's not something I was ever told. In fact I'm sure one of the questions at the 6 week check up was whether I had resumed relations.

It's to allow the new mother time to heal. It also helps prevent infections, most bleeding is over by then, and allows the cervix to close. I'm pretty sure it's fairly standard medical advice in the states.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/labor-and-delivery/in-depth/sex-after-pregnancy/art-20045669

I got the ok from my doctor at 12 weeks postpartum. I had three tears (two first degree and one second degree - no pain mess needed though) and she wanted that extra time for me to heal properly. We waited an extra week or two after that to try and it was still a bit uncomfortable at first.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

No internet access so all day so I'm paying catch up.  Sammy is adorable, he looks like a darker Izzy, shades of James/Jinger in that one.  Perhaps Jill had a postpartum hemorrhage thus the pail fragile appearance.  She looks very much like Jessa did after Spurgie was born. 

After #2 was born c/section Friday Morning I was ready to run out of the hospital Sunday morning wasn't supposed to leave until Tuesday morning, but I did anyway, I was annoyed with the hospital staff. After #1 was born after 22 hours of labor and a c/section on Thursday night and they tried to kick me out Saturday morning. I could barely stand up let alone care for a baby.

[Jaedzia]

1 minute ago, FreeCalifornia said:

My Son was admitted to the PICU at 13 days of age and although I didn't get a bed, they did wheel in a convertible bed/chair and I stayed there his entire stay. Wasn't comfortable especially healing postpartum, but weave it work.

Same when my firstborn was admitted at two months. Same hospital that wouldn't let me stay when she was in the NICU. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

10 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

I also think they should have beds in maternity rooms for dads to sleep in.

The recovery rooms at "my" hospital have queen sized adjustable beds so that dads can stay, too, if they like. We have two hospitals about the same distance from our house. Part of why we chose the hospital both kids were born in was because it has a relatively new maternity wing with family friendly policies. My ob helped design it.

[MadeItOut]

28 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

 

And (TMI) I wasn't even slightly interested in resuming "sweet fellowship" before my 6 week checkup. I needed to heal!

Amen! 38 stitches with older boy - no anaesthesia as allergic

[VelociRapture]

5 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

My understanding from friends is that if your baby is in the NICU but YOU don't need care they will kick you out.  In theory I understand, in practice thats just cruel.  They should have rooms set aside for parents.  I also think they should have beds in maternity rooms for dad's to sleep in.

It very much depends on the NICU. Some have been redesigned to make it a more private experience. Those NICUs have rooms where parents can stay with the baby full time. I would have killed for that. 

[MadeItOut]

The part that worries me a little in the photo with Jill is her hand pose. I really hope it's just that she's so completely lost in her baby, but ever since my ABI, the hand and arm on my weaker side curl like that some days - especially if I'm tired. Mr MIO calls it my 'eagle claw'. Here's hoping hers is only distraction. It does seem a teeny bit odd for a mother with at least a little medical training not to cradle on the left, close to her heart.

[SapphireSlytherin]

3 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

It very much depends on the NICU. Some have been redesigned to make it a more private experience. Those NICUs have rooms where parents can stay with the baby full time. I would have killed for that. 

My daughter's BFF had twins and they had a private NICU room. It was HUGE! Mama and Daddy could stay full-time - when I went to visit, I was blown away at the relative swankiness of the place. 

[FakePigtails]

28 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

My understanding from friends is that if your baby is in the NICU but YOU don't need care they will kick you out.  In theory I understand, in practice thats just cruel.  They should have rooms set aside for parents.  I also think they should have beds in maternity rooms for dad's to sleep in.

Mine had window seats that converted to beds for second parents in every L&D and recovery room. DH stayed at the hospital with me the whole time. It's a pretty new hospital though so I'm sure that helped. And I believe they had the NICU arranged so parents could stay in but I'm not completely sure about that.

 

39 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I wouldn't have minded a third night, even with middle of the night visits from the nurses.

Yep. The hospital staff fed me, cleaned up after me, and were willing to be the "bad guys" and ask visitors to leave if I wanted rest. Like a very weird hotel.

Exactly. Oh gosh, the number of giant pads I wen through in those two days! So much better not having to clean that up. A very weird hotel sums it up perfectly!

[Beermeet]

@FreeCalifornia. I agree.  That is a very emotional picture!  

[VelociRapture]

7 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

My daughter's BFF had twins and they had a private NICU room. It was HUGE! Mama and Daddy could stay full-time - when I went to visit, I was blown away at the relative swankiness of the place. 

I'd joke about hating your friends (because jealousy), but I can't hate other NICU families. 

Our NICU did get renovated starting a month after Velocibaby was born. It won't be super private, but much better than the open ward it was before. Hopefully that helps other families have a more peaceful experience - all I really remember vividly was that it was loud and there wasn't any real privacy.

[singsingsing]

5 minutes ago, MadeItOut said:

The part that worries me a little in the photo with Jill is her hand pose. I really hope it's just that she's so completely lost in her baby, but ever since my ABI, the hand and arfm on my weaker side curl like that some days - especially if I'm tired. Mr MIO calls it my 'eagle claw'. Here's hoping hers is only distraction. It does seem a teeny bit odd for a mother with at least a little medical training not to cradle on the left, close to her heart.

I think she's holding her phone.

[TuringMachine]

I think Sam looks like uncle James

[JenniferJuniper]

I have not read all of this thread, and I know little of the nature of the complications Jill endured this time around.  

But I'd like to point something out to these asshole anti-choice fundies.  Childbirth can be and often is physically and emotionally extremely difficult.  It can result in permanent health problems all the way straight to death for mother and child.  No woman carrying an embryo or non-viable fetus should be forced to bring it to term, regardless of her personal reasons for wanting to terminate the pregnancy.

The Duggars have been lucky so far.  With the exception of Josie's birth and Michelle's miscarriages, they've appeared to dodge a lot of potential bullets given the number of pregnancies and births between the first and second generation.   Despite their sometimes reckless choices, births have generally gone well. Kids all appear physically healthy, no signs of autism, mental illness, or other problems.  This sting of luck will not last forever and as the race to have more and more children continues with the daughters and daughters-in-law, bad stuff is bound to happen.  Even then, they will keep up with their child collecting, but someone is going to be hurt and the pressure to keep up the baby making will make the pain that much worse. 

[RosyDaisy]

Oh Rufus! Jill looks like my sister did after a crash c-section and nearly bleeding to death. I hope they are both ok.

[MadeItOut]

6 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I think she's holding her phone.

That would be awesome if she is!

[SapphireSlytherin]

21 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I think she's holding her phone.

Don't think so - my hands randomly look like that in photos, depending on where I'm caught mid-movement. lol  Looks like she was photographed as she was reaching to brush her hair over her shoulder. 

[KnittingOwl]

I don't know about dads getting beds. Mine got one and was completely useless. He stole my blanket and was the only one who ended up getting sleep. Next time, he's going home! 

I was talking to my midwife about the no sex for 6 weeks after thing. She said a surprising number of women get pregnant in those first 6 weeks. There was not a chance in hell I was breaking that suggestion. Way too many stitches. 

[adidas]

My first thought was that Jill must have lost a lot of blood. She is incredibly pale and looks wiped beyond exhaustion. 

Then I read comments about lighting - hopefully that's the case. 

But something is niggling at the back of my mind. This is a girl who has a very broad smile and big, bright eyes - I haven't seen any posed photos of her where she wasn't engaging with the camera. I think the fact that this might be the best photo they have of her is worrying.

But on the other hand, she is looking so tenderly and affectionately at her precious new baby ... so maybe that's why they chose this particular picture.

I would be willing to bet that she haemorrhaged based on her colouring. Of course I'm extremely curious about the cause, IF it happened. There could be a lot of ramifications for the future. But that's total speculation and based on nothing except that a couple of my friends were the same colour after the same thing happened to them. 

[Million Children For Jesus]

I think all babies are beautiful, even though not all babies are cute. They inherently have miracle baby magic, so I probably use the word "cute" when I don't exactly mean "cute."

Spurge, Henry, Izzy, and Sam were all born with Jim Bob's face. At least his nose. It takes a few months to grow into, and often changes.

Jill has her mom's elongated oval face, big, round eyes, narrow mouth, and thin lips, but she has a Duggar nose, so people often comment that she looks like Jim Bob. It's really just the one feature. It looks like both of her boys have her nose. I've seen her baby pictures and Izzy looks just like her. Sam doesn't look as much like Jill as Izzy does. I can see Derick mixed in there.

Jessa has Jim Bob's big mouth, with Michelle's elongated oval face, and Michelle's long, upturned nose. So does Spurge. He will look like Jesse Eisenberg as an adult. Henry looks like Jim Bob and Ben had a baby together. I think he will be a better looking adult than Spurgeon.

Jinger has Jim Bob's mouth shape, the girl version of his nose, and his round face, but no one wants to say she looks like him because that would be mean. Somehow that dorky clown makes beautiful girls. I hope Jinger's boys look like Jeremy and not Jim Bob. 

[sansan]

2 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

They may have chosen hospital photos due to Jill and or Samuel still being patients there. Or they might all be home and just getting around to adding some photos at this point. With a toddler running around they likely don't have much time to spend picking photos to share. 

I don't think Samuel would still be a patient in that picture because of what he has on. It might be a picture at the hospital as they were about to leave because it looks like the wall is in the hospital. As for Jill, she may have said, no more pictures of me. C-setions must be hell. I had gall bladder surgery after having two regular births, not fun! She does not give herself time to recuperate and stupid Michelle is nowhere to be found to give her some maternal advice. You can "keep sweet" and still let your wishes be known, she can't be that damn dumb.

[SapphireSlytherin]

8 minutes ago, sansan said:

I don't think Samuel would still be a patient in that picture because of what he has on. It might be a picture at the hospital as they were about to leave because it looks like the wall is in the hospital. 

That's definitely a hospital chair. As for Samuel's clothing, I had GryffindorDisappointment dressed in her own clothes from the minute she and I were finally settled into our room. 

I think a lot of the issue is the lighting - even Dwreck looks worse than I've seen him in a while. His coloring is "off" too.

Further:  the baby could already have been discharged from the hospital, and is being (was being?) allowed to stay with Jill if she had to stay longer for whatever reason.

[mango_fandango]

I dunno if it's the lighting or not but Sammy looks a little jaundiced in those photos. 

First thing that struck me was "ooh he looks like Izzy." The side by side confirms that view for me. Wonder if Sammy will be tall/big like his brother. 

[Daisy0322]

Looks like the type of pictures the hospital does upon discharge. They cost and arm and a leg and you get a crappy photographer who is in a hurry and works on commission. But horemones make you buy the pictures. 

[Fluffy14]

2 hours ago, viii said:

In Canada, we don't stay very long. C-sections usually require 2 nights, vaginal can be 1 or less. 

Well gone are the days when it was a 5 day stay after delivery by C-section (Canada).  I had a 5 day stay after each birth in the 90's. It was wonderful. They bathed me, fed me, wrapped me in warm blankets, and gave me narcotics........