Dillards 30 - Lawsuit Tweets and Leaving Danger America

[Palindrome]

The way Jim Bob and Michelle talk about Jill – best child ever, never cried, always helpful, etc etc – I would expect there to be some resentment from the other kids, especially those around Jill's age. The same way the younger kids will probably end up resenting Michelle's completely transparent favouritism of Josie. 

However, in a family that has a "stay sweet, always say your siblings are your best friends" mantra, it's refreshing to see how their Instagrams don't always follow this rule.

[Bad Wolf]

Derick reminds me of Monty Python's I'm a Lumberjack song. Not that I think he's a cross dresser, just that he seemed to be one thing, educated, steady job, etc., and turned out to be quite different. Sorry don't know how to link it on the kindle.

[CoveredInBees]

There ya go  

[MiddleAgedLady]

Latest tweet from Derick

 

 

[batuityma]

On 6/1/2017 at 9:11 AM, Tatar-tot said:

I was wondering if Jill had preeclampsia.   One of the first signs is you can't get your shoes on.  Jill is such a ding-a-ling that she would not even recognize the symptoms.

Preeclampsia certainly is serious and something all pregnant women should be aware of.  However, some amount of foot swelling during pregnancy is normal and extremely common. I could not fit into ANY of my regular shoes by my third trimester. I didn't have any blood pressure issues whatsoever.

If the swelling is excessive, especially if it's also in your face and around your eyes, that's often more of a red flag for preeclampsia. (Of course, the symptoms can vary from woman to woman and sometimes there are no warning signs at all.)

But my point is, I'm not ready to get on the speculation bus about Jill having preeclampsia because her shoes might not fit well during late pregnancy. That sounds totally normal to me.

[Henk12]

Omg I so want to see what their private accounts would be like. What do they post? Who's following who? 

I only have two siblings. My brother and I barely speak, my sister and I are best friends. I wonder what the Duggars sibling relationships are really like. I get the feeling Jill doesn't have many sibling besties. 

[Queen]

I find D-wreck's acting lately pretty wierd. Yes, he has always, or at least as long as the tv-audience has "known" him, been deeply religious, conservative, following sexist gender roles and has always had repulsive ideas. However, he seemed to deeply care about Jill in the beginning. Now it seems like he doesn't care at all. What happened? Somehow I interpreted his former care for her as an individual as genuine, but it could of course have been only for the show. But really? 

Or maybe he does still care about her, but isn't emotionally developed enough to be able to acctually help her? I have no idea.

[Georgiana]

23 minutes ago, Queen said:

I find D-wreck's acting lately pretty wierd. Yes, he has always, or at least as long as the tv-audience has "known" him, been deeply religious, conservative, following sexist gender roles and has always had repulsive ideas. However, he seemed to deeply care about Jill in the beginning. Now it seems like he doesn't care at all. What happened? Somehow I interpreted his former care for her as an individual as genuine, but it could of course have been only for the show. But really? 

Or maybe he does still care about her, but isn't emotionally developed enough to be able to acctually help her? I have no idea.

I used to really care about my ex-boyfriends.  All of them.  I cared very, very deeply about some of them, and it was truly genuine.

Then as time when on, the attraction faded.  As I got to know them better, I liked them less.  Things I once found cute or tolerable started to get on my nerves.  Eventually, I checked out of the relationship and didn't care at all.  In the few relationships that I stayed in beyond this point, I eventually started to actively resent them. 

I don't think Derrick was faking anything.  I think he married a girl he knew for a month and as time (and their marriage) have gone on, the attraction has faded.  It's normal and common and happens to MOST relationships.  It's just that MOST people give their relationships enough time for this to happen before rushing down the aisle.  Derrick and Jill didn't, and now he's saddled with soon to be 2 young kids and a wife who is essentially a child herself.  A child-like bride is cute at first, and Jill probably made Derrick feel strong and smart.  But those same traits are a lot less fun in a partner when you start actually needing her to pull her weight as an adult.  

I also think that seeing her flounder outside of the TTH has caused Derrick to lose a lot of respect for her, which I think comes across in his behavior towards her.  

Edit: We are always talking about Pride and Prejudice on here, and I think D+J are a Mr. and Mrs. Bennet situation: rushed into marriage without a clear picture of their partner, stuck together in a society that does not permit divorce, and quickly lost respect for each other.  Realizing his error, the husband withdraws from his wife as she cannot fulfill his intellectual and social needs and emotionally abandons her (as opposed to trying to reform her).  Sadly, however, I think that Mrs. Bennet is LEAGUES above Jill, for while she is shallow and weak minded, she is at least reasonably capable in her adult duties.  

[SuhrEnity]

So now I'm curious. I know the things I've seen from DirtyJesus that make me think he is really regretting his life now and saddling himself with OfDirtyJesus. What are the things and instances that y'all have seen that make you think that? I just wonder if it's all the same instances for all of us

@GeorgianaI love how you explained that

[WhyNotJulie]

@Georgiana That was easily the best explanation of Derick and Ofderick that I've ever seen. So many people default to "these darned duggars must have been faking the whole time!!!" but it is just far more likely that the relationship has simply lost its lustre.

I also cared very, very deeply about all my ex-boyfriends when I was dating them.  As I think most of us did. Luckily for me, I didn't have to rush down the aisle with the first person I dated.

[VelociRapture]

For months people were saying similar things - they've grown apart, they're miserable, he doesn't love her, she hates SCA, etc. Then a photo pops up and they're seen cuddling on the couch in the background of the shot, looking very happy and loving and natural.

I appreciate the post by @Georgianaand I do think it's possible she's correct. But keep in mind we really don't see very much about them. They don't share much through social media, don't update the blog much more, and we see a very small and edited version of their lives on the show. So while it is possible there are serious issues between them it's equally as possible that things are fine. I mean, we all know the Dills aren't great at marketing themselves. 

 

[nickelodeon]

I was thinking of that same couch photo. And didn't people criticize them for looking clingy and obsessed with each other in that pic?

[VelociRapture]

7 minutes ago, nickelodeon said:

I was thinking of that same couch photo. And didn't people criticize them for looking clingy and obsessed with each other in that pic?

Yep. They're fairly deplorable human beings for many reasons. Yet they honestly don't seem like they can win here. Either they're too clingy and affectionate or they're being accused of hating each other.

[HarryPotterFan]

13 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Yep. They're fairly deplorable human beings for many reasons. Yet they honestly don't seem like they can win here. Either they're too clingy and affectionate or they're being accused of hating each other.

I think we assume they hate each other because they are so unlikable. Who knows what their relationship is actually like.

[Carm_88]

I find them very unlikable, that being said I don't think they hate each other. I do think that they are both miserable in their own ways. Neither seem overly happy. That being said I don't know them and I don't want to know them.  

[SassyPants]

On 6/1/2017 at 5:57 PM, Palindrome said:

 

I don't dislike them any more than any of the other couples.

I dislike them all- pretty much equally.

[Lulu22du]

What evidence has there been that Jill and Derrick have grown apart? Not trying to be rude, just honestly curious to know if I missed something they said or did.

[nst]

9 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I don't dislike them any more than any of the other couples.

I dislike them all- pretty much equally.

it goes anna and josh 

jb and michelle 

derick and jill 

jeremy and jinger 

with the dislike in that order the people on the top i can't stand the most 

and jessa and ben are my entertainment fun and depending on what they say and do 

8 hours ago, Lulu22du said:

What evidence has there been that Jill and Derrick have grown apart? Not trying to be rude, just honestly curious to know if I missed something they said or did.

we didn't see him paint her toenails at jinger's wedding ?

[nastyhobbitses]

16 hours ago, Queen said:

I find D-wreck's acting lately pretty wierd. Yes, he has always, or at least as long as the tv-audience has "known" him, been deeply religious, conservative, following sexist gender roles and has always had repulsive ideas. However, he seemed to deeply care about Jill in the beginning. Now it seems like he doesn't care at all. What happened? Somehow I interpreted his former care for her as an individual as genuine, but it could of course have been only for the show. But really? 

Or maybe he does still care about her, but isn't emotionally developed enough to be able to acctually help her? I have no idea.

I think that a combination of things has happened with him:

He met a beautiful, innocent, slightly loopy girl who would share his conservative values. Plus he would finally be a part of a big family after the death of his dad and the near-death of his mom. He was happy.

But then the cracks started to show. Jill didn't know how to adult. Devotion became clinginess. His wife and child almost died because Jill wanted to take needless risks with childbirth. Central America wasn't a fun adventure like Nepal, especially with a baby and a clingy, afraid-of-everything wife.

Then the molestation news came out. I doubt he knew beforehand. I doubt he knew the full extent of what happened if he had some inkling beforehand. He was not emotionally equipped to help her deal with the lasting trauma, and the more recent trauma of the world finding out. Maybe (oh god I hope I'm wrong about this), as a patriarchal fundamentalist, he viewed her as damaged goods. Tainted.

But now he's stuck with her, but more importantly, she's stuck with him. There's no way out, and no room to admit that they're not good for each other.

[danni9242]

16 hours ago, Georgiana said:

I also think that seeing her flounder outside of the TTH has caused Derrick to lose a lot of respect for her, which I think comes across in his behavior towards her.  

Edit: Sadly, however, I think that Mrs. Bennet is LEAGUES above Jill, for while she is shallow and weak minded, she is at least reasonably capable in her adult duties.  

Yes and yes.

I think it's easy to look at the girls doing all the household tasks, looking after hoards of buddies and listen to them talk about their 'studies' or mission work and imagine they will be competent adults in their own household once married. Reality: they expect the man to be in charge of everything, they're used to one job orchestrated by another, looking after kids alone is very different to at TTH, they are poorly educated and equipped for any meaningful work outside the home, and their mission trips were more like a fly by than anything resembling the realities of the mission field. Derrick envisaged heading out more long term I am sure but is tethered by Jill unlike his time overseas before they married.

 

Mrs Bennett is silly and stuffs up, but she still runs a household and raised 4/5 sensible daughters (Lydia really is her mothers daughter) and we see the two eldest at least marry well but also FOR LOVE. Obviously their father had some influence but their mother would have had most part to play. This is why I think Michelle is the worst. She went to high school, studied for meaningful qualifications and had experiences before starting the mega brood. She has actively chosen to deprive her daughters (and sons) of any of what she had

[VelociRapture]

@nastyhobbitsesHold up. When did Jill and Izzy almost die in childbirth? This is the first I've ever heard of that.

I know Jessa lost a good amount of blood because she needed a transfusion. But Jill? All I ever heard was the baby was in distress and she eventually needed a C-Section because labor wasn't progressing.

[danni9242]

I think they're more relaxed stateside and with help with Izzy. I do think Derrick feels restricted by Jill in CA and they have not taken as well to parenthood as they might, because it is HARD, particularly with no help. I think the stress of that plus Derrick's ill health are a strain. A second baby is only going to add to that, especially if they try to return to CA. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

10 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

@nastyhobbitsesHold up. When did Jill and Izzy almost die in childbirth? This is the first I've ever heard of that.

I know Jessa lost a good amount of blood because she needed a transfusion. But Jill? All I ever heard was the baby was in distress and she eventually needed a C-Section because labor wasn't progressing.

There are pages and pages in the old Jill threads about all the needless risks she took. It's true that there wasn't anything dramatic like Jessa's hemorrhage, and she did eventually get to the hospital, but she labored at home far too long with a huge baby and a sketchy midwife. Also, she went to the chiropractor and got a pedicure while in early labor, which a lot of us felt indicated that she wasn't taking it seriously.

[singsingsing]

Neither of them almost died in childbirth. They had complications, but (unless TLC and the Duggars both miraculously decided to play down the drama), they were never close to death. Jill in particular took what were, in my opinion, very foolish risks, Jessa only slightly less so (I don't want to get into an argument about homebirth, but wasn't her attendant barely qualified or something?) - still, none of them 'almost died'.

[nastyhobbitses]

37 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

@nastyhobbitsesHold up. When did Jill and Izzy almost die in childbirth? This is the first I've ever heard of that.

I know Jessa lost a good amount of blood because she needed a transfusion. But Jill? All I ever heard was the baby was in distress and she eventually needed a C-Section because labor wasn't progressing.

Perhaps I exaggerated. OK, definitely exaggerated. But from my understanding, labor didn't progress, baby was in distress, and they both had Group B Strep. Had she not gotten her ass to the hospital, it wouldn't have ended nearly as happily as it did. Had she gotten her ass to the hospital sooner than she did, it would have been, I'm sure, an even better outcome.