Jana's future part 2

[AnnaRuk09]

56 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

I have a feeling that it could be possible Jana is not in support of the lifestyle her parents brought her up in anymore. If she was, I honestly believe Jana would have married by now and tried to pop or baby after baby like Sierra has (Sierra and Jana are both the same age surprisingly). We have evidence Jana has had plenty of suitors but she is the one that rejects them. I think Jana stays because she raised these kids and is attached to them and hasn't left because she doesn't want a man that would expect her to be a Quiverfull fundie, as the only men that seek out Duggar wives are already IBLP ATI fundie or are recent fan boy converts a la Derrick and now Jeremy. Free Jana.

Idk its hard to decipher, but IMO I think she in majorly way supports her upbringing and super strict principles. I mean the Duggar girls' major life's desire is to be married and it has been said several times that "she is still waiting for God to bring the right one." Yes, it's been said that she is the one that rejects them, many probably, but the sadness that the whole world notes when they look at Jana I would guess to be that she really wants to be married.

Putting myself in her life shoes, it would be extremely sad and discouraging at 26 yrs old to see all my younger sisters "meeting the one that God has for them" and having to see them experience those special moments and starting a family if I've been waiting for quite some time! Perhaps she feels forgotten by God and is constantly fighting fear and discouragement? That's at least where I'd fall. I think her caring for her siblings help keep her busy and content, but I really think she's still waiting on God, as they constantly reiterate, and waiting bad!

BTW, It was really surprising last season to hear her say that sometimes it can be tempting to get married to the first one that comes along. She would be willing to compromise that much? That was really surprising to hear a Duggar - people who say they "rely on God to bring the one" and on "having a good testimony" - say something like that.   

 

[AnnaRuk09]

38 minutes ago, justmy2cents said:

What evidence?  I thought it was all just speculation.

There's endless speculation and rumors that people constantly pull out of their rear end, especially for the D-girls, but articles like this perhaps: http://www.people.com/article/which-duggar-will-marry-next-poll

[season of life]

20 minutes ago, justmy2cents said:

What evidence?  I thought it was all just speculation.

Jana said she turned down some guys, so she has rejected suitors before. But no evidence that hordes of men are badgering her.

[JesusCampSongs]

3 minutes ago, season of life said:

Jana said she turned down some guys, so she has rejected suitors before. But no evidence that hordes of men are badgering her.

I think it's one of those, "the odds are good but the goods are odd" situations in that she's certainly capable of attracting lots of men--she's gorgeous, runs a household, and comes across as a genuinely nice person-- but the kinds of men willing to marry into the Duggar circus are likely unappealing to her. I've never gotten the impression that she enjoyed being on the show, and she's thrown shade at her sisters' spouses on at least one occasion (the line about wanting to be with someone who works). Such a man would probably not be a fan of joining in the circus, and JB wouldn't be a fan of that. 

I think her best bet would be to pull an Alyssa Bates, find a man who lives far away, and bail, but I doubt that will happen, unfortunately. 

[picklepizzas]

15 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

I have a feeling that it could be possible Jana is not in support of the lifestyle her parents brought her up in anymore. If she was, I honestly believe Jana would have married by now and tried to pop or baby after baby like Sierra has (Sierra and Jana are both the same age surprisingly). We have evidence Jana has had plenty of suitors but she is the one that rejects them. I think Jana stays because she raised these kids and is attached to them and hasn't left because she doesn't want a man that would expect her to be a Quiverfull fundie, as the only men that seek out Duggar wives are already IBLP ATI fundie or are recent fan boy converts a la Derrick and now Jeremy. Free Jana.

I guess anything is possible, but looking at who her two best friends are, I find that to be incredibly unlikely. She was the only non family member invited to stand up in Priscilla and Michael's weddings (and in the case of Michaels wedding that was in the midst of the scandals where it would have been very desirable for the bates to distance themselves from the duggars, which convinces me it's true friendship) and those two have got to be two of the biggest kook aid drinkers around. Michael waited yearrrrs for her perfect man, it would make sense to me that she's inspired Jana to do the same. 

[luv2laugh]

2 minutes ago, picklepizzas said:

I guess anything is possible, but looking at who her two best friends are, I find that to be incredibly unlikely. She was the only non family member invited to stand up in Priscilla and Michael's weddings (and in the case of Michaels wedding that was in the midst of the scandals where it would have been very desirable for the bates to distance themselves from the duggars, which convinces me it's true friendship) and those two have got to be two of the biggest kook aid drinkers around. Michael waited yearrrrs for her perfect man, it would make sense to me that she's inspired Jana to do the same. 

Ever since Priscilla has been having baby after baby, her and Jana aren't that close anymore since they don't have much in common. Jana isn't a wife or a mom so she is basically still viewed as a non adult in IBLP. I don't know about her and Michaela though but Michaela is married now and it's hard for Jana to relate to them now. That is just how it is in IBLP. If Jana truly was still drinking the koolaide, I really think she would have been married by now. 

[picklepizzas]

12 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

Ever since Priscilla has been having baby after baby, her and Jana aren't that close anymore since they don't have much in common. Jana isn't a wife or a mom so she is basically still viewed as a non adult in IBLP. I don't know about her and Michaela though but Michaela is married now and it's hard for Jana to relate to them now. That is just how it is in IBLP. If Jana truly was still drinking the koolaid, I really think she would have been married by now. 

But why? Michael just got married a year ago, compared to that Jana hasn't been holding out that much longer. And there are plenty of much older sahds that are chugging the koolaid - botkins, Sarah maxwell, Kelly reins...they just haven't found that perfect guy, so they are unmarried. But still clearly on board with the whole system. 

[OrchidBlossom]

On 10/2/2016 at 9:10 AM, luv2laugh said:

Ever since Priscilla has been having baby after baby, her and Jana aren't that close anymore since they don't have much in common. Jana isn't a wife or a mom so she is basically still viewed as a non adult in IBLP. I don't know about her and Michaela though but Michaela is married now and it's hard for Jana to relate to them now. That is just how it is in IBLP. If Jana truly was still drinking the koolaide, I really think she would have been married by now. 

There are plentyyyy of kool aid drinking, non-married fundie women (and men!) Jana's age and older. There is a thread of unmarried fundie kidults around here somewhere, you'll find many are Jana's age.

[Percy]

I am still hoping the blind item , from earlier in the year, about Jana is true.  That she has an older divorced boyfriend who has children.

In my dreams, she waits for filming to stop and quietly eases away from the family and marries him.  He already has children so no hurry on that point.

[luv2laugh]

If Jana truly wanted to get married and IF JB and Michelle knew she really wanted to, I think they would send her off to do more for missions and IBLP and the like to meet more Christian men since she's not going to meet them staying at home with the Duggars besides the odd fan pitching it to JB. Like I said, her and Sierra are the same age yet Sierra, Anna, and Jessa are the friends and it's because sadly in IBLP you are not seen as a true adult until you become a wife and mom. I'd imagine that it has been hard for her to be good friends with Priscilla and other married IBLP people and then completely lose touch with them. This is also because IBLP fosters an ideology where your friends are who your family associates with and you are bringing your husband and babies to hang out with every fundie. They do tend frown against women going out with other wives and other moms and just having girl time and it's just not as common. It makes it hard for Jana to hang out with Priscilla when David and co. goes everywhere she goes. Same for Michaela. These people rarely hang out as individuals and it's always a couples or family outing not one on one unless it's a SAHD like Jana going over to the house during the day and hanging out with the mom while helping with the home and kids or baking together. It makes me sad for Jana.

[AnnaRuk09]

2 hours ago, Percy said:

I am still hoping the blind item , from earlier in the year, about Jana is true.  That she has an older divorced boyfriend who has children.

In my dreams, she waits for filming to stop and quietly eases away from the family and marries him.  He already has children so no hurry on that point.

Im pretty sure those blind items are purely fiction. I don't think her family would ever allow her to do such a thing anyway. Isn't it against their beliefs? To them, doing that would be considered adultery. I've heard people on here say that they've heard Jana say that she wouldn't mind seeing someone older and with children, but I highly doubt that. 

[OrchidBlossom]

26 minutes ago, AnnaRuk09 said:

Im pretty sure those blind items are purely fiction. I don't think her family would ever allow her to do such a thing anyway. Isn't it against their beliefs? To them, doing that would be considered adultery. I've heard people on here say that they've heard Jana say that she wouldn't mind seeing someone older and with children, but I highly doubt that. 

Those items are generally not trustworthy. As to their beliefs, yeah, seeing a married man is considered adultery. Because he would always be truly married in God's eyes to his first wife. If he was a widower, though, then it would be in the clear.

[AnnaRuk09]

1 hour ago, OrchidBlossom said:

Those items are generally not trustworthy. As to their beliefs, yeah, seeing a married man is considered adultery. Because he would always be truly married in God's eyes to his first wife. If he was a widower, though, then it would be in the clear.

Yeah that's true. Like I said, I've heard people on here say that Jana supposedly said she wouldn't mind marrying a widower. I can't imagine a Duggar saying that (not that it would be wrong per se) so I wonder where those people got that from. 

[SassyPants]

In terms of Jana and Joy fixing up the pool house for Derick and Jill, what happened to all the Dillards' wedding, shower and baby gifts?  Also, the auction furnitureWouldn't they just put those things in that house? 

[OrchidBlossom]

On 10/4/2016 at 0:32 AM, AnnaRuk09 said:

Yeah that's true. Like I said, I've heard people on here say that Jana supposedly said she wouldn't mind marrying a widower. I can't imagine a Duggar saying that (not that it would be wrong per se) so I wonder where those people got that from. 

I think people are optimistically hoping that Jana hasn't married out of some kind (conscious or not) of desire to limit her fertility, and therefore optimistically hope she would marry someone older, maybe with his own children, who would put less pressure on her to procreate. But I think it's wishful thinking and/or interpretation based on her apparent personality, she's never expressed such that I know of.

[ksgranola1]

Out of 9 girls, I just want to hear one of them say, "I have decided to only have 2 children." Or even, "I prefer to have no children." What are JB&M gonna do about it?

[luv2laugh]

I want to see Jana and some of the younger ones that she helped to raise go off and do a mission so that Jana can meet a special someone. She needs to get OUT but her attachment to her siblings that she mothered is what makes her stay, IMO. IF JB allows Jana to go off and take some siblings with her, maybe she can break free.

[VelociRapture]

Every so often I like to come in this thread and remind people that:

- Despite being a on tv for a decade, we honestly have no clue who Jana is.

And

- We also have no evidence to suggest that she doesn't believe what she was raised to believe.

At this point in time, Jana is 26 years old. She has been a legal adult for eight years now. She may not fully realize she has other options, but she does. If she truly wanted to leave more than anything else then she could - and it wouldn't be nearly as difficult for her to do so as it would be for an adult child in a more isolated family that lacks a reality show and access to the outside world. 

For whatever reason - her younger siblings, her beliefs, actually being content with her life - she is still staying exactly where she is. I hope she's happy and I hope she gets out if that's what she wants - but I think it's a bit unrealistic at this point for anyone to definitively say that she absolutely wants to get out.

[Timetostoplurking]

28 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Every so often I like to come in this thread and remind people that:

- Despite being a on tv for a decade, we honestly have no clue who Jana is.

And

- We also have no evidence to suggest that she doesn't believe what she was raised to believe.

At this point in time, Jana is 26 years old. She has been a legal adult for eight years now. She may not fully realize she has other options, but she does. If she truly wanted to leave more than anything else then she could - and it wouldn't be nearly as difficult for her to do so as it would be for an adult child in a more isolated family that lacks a reality show and access to the outside world. 

For whatever reason - her younger siblings, her beliefs, actually being content with her life - she is still staying exactly where she is. I hope she's happy and I hope she gets out if that's what she wants - but I think it's a bit unrealistic at this point for anyone to definitively say that she absolutely wants to get out.

I think you are right about Jana.  While she may seem like a sweet nice person, we really don't know her.  I am ready to stop giving her the benefit if the doubt.  I give these young Duggers a bit of a pass, but Jana is now 26 and she needs to own her choices.  At this point she is staying with the family and I can only assume that is because she wants to.  I think we at FJ want very very badly to cheer for someone in that family.  As the older kids grow up and start to parrot their parents we kind of give up on them.  I think Jana is more "unknown" and therefore we are sympathetic. But by the age of 26?!? Come on Jana....it's time to fish or cut bait!   

[VelociRapture]

@TimetostoplurkingExactly.

I do get it though. I absolutely understand why people still cheer for her or the other Duggar offspring. It's easy to cheer for Jana because she's pretty, seems sweet, and is quiet enough about what she actually believes to allow for reasonable speculation.

But I'm at the point where I don't think I can give her the benefit of the doubt anymore. I'll still hope that she's happy and that she's living the life she wants - but I simply do not believe at this point that she's being coerced into staying or anything like that.

[paulypepper]

2 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Every so often I like to come in this thread and remind people that:

- Despite being a on tv for a decade, we honestly have no clue who Jana is.

And

- We also have no evidence to suggest that she doesn't believe what she was raised to believe.

At this point in time, Jana is 26 years old. She has been a legal adult for eight years now. She may not fully realize she has other options, but she does. If she truly wanted to leave more than anything else then she could - and it wouldn't be nearly as difficult for her to do so as it would be for an adult child in a more isolated family that lacks a reality show and access to the outside world. 

For whatever reason - her younger siblings, her beliefs, actually being content with her life - she is still staying exactly where she is. I hope she's happy and I hope she gets out if that's what she wants - but I think it's a bit unrealistic at this point for anyone to definitively say that she absolutely wants to get out.

I agree with you wholeheartedly, but I still get the feeling inside me that she is just biding her time. I can see her loving and taking care of her siblings, well, just because and I admire her for that, but I think that one day she will be the one who is free.

[Eatingintheprayercloset]

Yeah I feel the same way. I think she is just a big  kool-aid drinker like her mother. Being a SAHD isn't a bad thing in their culture and it's even encouraged. In general, Jana is a blank canvas because she wasn't  at the forefront of 19 Kids and Counting and now that she plays a bigger part in the new spin-off, Jana is showcasing her hobbies.....that don't include fire and brimstone preaching and being a missionary. They are likable things like home decor and gardening. I get a vibe from Jana that she is super into gender roles (from saying Johannah is turning into a proper young lady because she's helping around the house/cooking to saying guys don't like it when girls "chase" them). She might have a pretty face and a dislike for the limelight....but I really don't think she as sweet as we are hoping she is. I guess the only way we will ever know is when/if she starts courting. Look at how less likable Jinger has become since courting. 

[imokit]

While I agree that Jana is probably as bad as the rest of them.  I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt while she's unmarried in that house and there are young children there.

Yes Jana has options, but I think people forget how much she's invested into her siblings.  We talk a lot about how checked out M'shelle is and how much the J Slaves did from a young age.  This translates into huge attachements between Jana and the younger kids.  In one of the early episodes of 17 kids and counting one of the howlers got lost in an airport.  When found he went straight to Jana for comfort.  M & JB were both there, and neither one handed him over to her.  The howler went to Jana over parents for comfort after being scared.  Similarly a couple of those early episodes small howlers were seen climbing out of her bed in the morning.  Again it was Jana in the middle of the night.

Jana is probably staying because she believes in it.  But she could be staying because she doesn't want to loose her children (and many of them are in all practical ways), or push the responsibility on to Joy who as a middle kid has never had that responsibility (Joy has always been able to threaten with Jana).  The little girls may be able to do some chores & personal care and need minimal supervision compared with a toddler, but they're still young - 6-11 - they still need emotional support and parenting.

While there is the potential for that calculation to be made, I choose to give her the benefit of the doubt, while expecting to be disappointed in the future. 

[season of life]

It's kinda sad how she has been on TV for so long but we don't have a single clue as to what she really wants out of life. That can be said for the other Duggars as well. But who knows? Jana can be content staying at home and fading into the background.

[Mercer]

I've never seen any evidence that Jana dislikes her lifestyle or wants to get out. I can't imagine wanting to live that way, but when I try to look at it from her perspective, I'm not convinced she finds it all that difficult. 

I'm sure she works hard in the household, but she has no job responsibilities outside the home. As old as the other kids are now, many hands should be making for relatively light work, and they have outside help like the tutor for some of it. Jana is not necessarily subjected to more drudgery than the average twenty-something with an entry level career, or the average stay at home mom. In exchange, all her expenses are paid. She doesn't have to worry about rent or food. She gets nice clothing she doesn't have to pay for, access to a vehicle, and opportunities to travel. I could see a young woman thinking that was a pretty good gig.

If Jana really hated her life, there are a number of fundie-acceptable ways she could change things. She's not living on a homestead in the woods cut off from society, after all. At this point I can only think she's at least content with her situation, or possibly even happy.