Jana's future part 2

[Timetostoplurking]

And...if she gets bored there is always Pinterest!!   

[socalrules]

Ultimately, I think everyone looks at Jana as so sad/perfect/selfless, etc., because she is only viewed through the lens of TLC. If she were ever to get a twitter/facebook/instagram account, we would likely see she is not much different than Jill or Jessa. Jinger and Joy would likely be the same. It's the world they came from and its likely the world they prefer. It's not a lifestyle many of us want but it doesn't mean it isn't  want they want to continue in. It is no different than my living the same lifestyle I was raised in and am happy doing so. They might like to make small changes but not enough that they are no longer fundy. I think we don't understand how they could not want what we have and yet they likely wonder why we don't want what they have. 

 

[VelociRapture]

21 hours ago, imokit said:

While I agree that Jana is probably as bad as the rest of them.  I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt while she's unmarried in that house and there are young children there.

Yes Jana has options, but I think people forget how much she's invested into her siblings.  We talk a lot about how checked out M'shelle is and how much the J Slaves did from a young age.  This translates into huge attachements between Jana and the younger kids.  In one of the early episodes of 17 kids and counting one of the howlers got lost in an airport.  When found he went straight to Jana for comfort.  M & JB were both there, and neither one handed him over to her.  The howler went to Jana over parents for comfort after being scared.  Similarly a couple of those early episodes small howlers were seen climbing out of her bed in the morning.  Again it was Jana in the middle of the night.

Jana is probably staying because she believes in it.  But she could be staying because she doesn't want to loose her children (and many of them are in all practical ways), or push the responsibility on to Joy who as a middle kid has never had that responsibility (Joy has always been able to threaten with Jana).  The little girls may be able to do some chores & personal care and need minimal supervision compared with a toddler, but they're still young - 6-11 - they still need emotional support and parenting.

While there is the potential for that calculation to be made, I choose to give her the benefit of the doubt, while expecting to be disappointed in the future. 

No, I haven't forgotten that. I think it's clear she has a relatively strong attachment to her younger siblings. Much stronger than the typical sibling relationship - which is sweet, but also very unhealthy when taken to this extreme. Her parents absolutely deserve full blame for that. They've done her - and all their children - a massive disservice by forcing these types of relationships on them.

The fact remains though that she is a legal adult who has other options. She may not want to utilize those options, but they are there. And that means she does have a choice - to stay or to remain. Her reasons for staying are unknown at this point since she doesn't have public social media. It wouldn't surprise me if she stayed for her siblings, but I also don't doubt that she's just as invested in her lifestyle as any of the others are.

[alba]

I wouldn't be surprised if Jana is sticking around to look after her children siblings, but I also wouldn't be surprised if she's waiting for Prince Charming. While it's clear that she loves her younger siblings dearly, I've never seen anything from her to suggest she's not heavily invested in the lifestyle, and plenty to suggest she is, like photos on Instagram of her at pro-life rallies.

[OyToTheVey]

On 10/3/2016 at 8:23 PM, luv2laugh said:

If Jana truly wanted to get married and IF JB and Michelle knew she really wanted to, I think they would send her off to do more for missions and IBLP and the like to meet more Christian men since she's not going to meet them staying at home with the Duggars besides the odd fan pitching it to JB. Like I said, her and Sierra are the same age yet Sierra, Anna, and Jessa are the friends and it's because sadly in IBLP you are not seen as a true adult until you become a wife and mom. I'd imagine that it has been hard for her to be good friends with Priscilla and other married IBLP people and then completely lose touch with them. This is also because IBLP fosters an ideology where your friends are who your family associates with and you are bringing your husband and babies to hang out with every fundie. They do tend frown against women going out with other wives and other moms and just having girl time and it's just not as common. It makes it hard for Jana to hang out with Priscilla when David and co. goes everywhere she goes. Same for Michaela. These people rarely hang out as individuals and it's always a couples or family outing not one on one unless it's a SAHD like Jana going over to the house during the day and hanging out with the mom while helping with the home and kids or baking together. It makes me sad for Jana.

The bolded part isn't always just fundies. Even my cousins wife who's younger than me is seen as an adult, while I'm more likely to be put at the kids table. And my family isn't religious or fundie. Just kinda old school.

[HomeschooledHeartThrob]

I feel that Jana naturally does not like attention hence the social media silence, and the lack of a desire to find a man because look at the media attention of Jinger Jessa and Jill. That and I agree with everyone else that this is her way of avoiding an excess of five kids by waiting until the last minute to marry, or worse, what if she and JD are set up to inherit the J'fortune as the two eldest children and they're both resolved to wait until Jchelle and Jbob die? 

[VelociRapture]

1 hour ago, HomeschooledHeartThrob said:

I feel that Jana naturally does not like attention hence the social media silence, and the lack of a desire to find a man because look at the media attention of Jinger Jessa and Jill. That and I agree with everyone else that this is her way of avoiding an excess of five kids by waiting until the last minute to marry, or worse, what if she and JD are set up to inherit the J'fortune as the two eldest children and they're both resolved to wait until Jchelle and Jbob die? 

The lack of social media is likely more because of her parents than anything. None of the adult unmarried offspring have public social media accounts. Same with the Bates family - the sole exception being Lawson because he promotes his music through Instagram. Carlin Bates appears to have a private account too, but there's never been an explanation for that. 

Jinger also does not have any social media accounts that we know of yet. Jill only got her's a month before her wedding, so it's possible that she's waiting for that or waiting to be married first. 

I do think Jana is a bit more private and reserved than some of her siblings are though. So even if she had the chance to make an account, she may not have much interest in doing so.

As for looking for a man - that isn't her role "role" in he whole courtship model they follow. It's the job of the male in question to make his interest known first. He approaches JimBob about getting to know Jana and JimBob in turn sees what Jana thinks. If she says yes they start getting to know each other and may eventually advance to courting and marriage. If she says no, then that's that. It's entirely possible that she's had guys interested in her and she just hasn't been interested back for some reason. It's also possible that no one has come calling too. Regardless, her job in this scenario is to patiently wait with a sweet smile on her face for God to send the right guy. 

[VooDooChild]

16 hours ago, socalrules said:

Ultimately, I think everyone looks at Jana as so sad/perfect/selfless, etc., because she is only viewed through the lens of TLC. If she were ever to get a twitter/facebook/instagram account, we would likely see she is not much different than Jill or Jessa. Jinger and Joy would likely be the same. It's the world they came from and its likely the world they prefer. It's not a lifestyle many of us want but it doesn't mean it isn't  want they want to continue in. It is no different than my living the same lifestyle I was raised in and am happy doing so. They might like to make small changes but not enough that they are no longer fundy. I think we don't understand how they could not want what we have and yet they likely wonder why we don't want what they have. 

 

This.  I highly doubt that the Duggar kids want anything different from what they have.  They've been taught that it's bad.  They will never understand that different is not wrong.  Besides, it seems any sort of desire has been beaten (spiritually and psychologically speaking) out of them.  So I don't see them changing unless maybe another dark secret comes to light.....maybe.  I have a soft spot for Jana.  But I have to remind myself that she shares the same shitty beliefs as her parents, and she is too lazy (made so by her parents "teaching") to self-examine or think critically.

[feministxtian]

None of the Duggar spawn want anything different than what they have. They've been "trained" to believe that their lifestyle is the proper God-ordained lifestyle for Christians who have the "right" theology. They believe they are superior to the rest of us great unwashed masses and their "calling" is to convince us that their way is best. Jana is heavily invested in this idea and she will smile through it all until the day that God magically brings her the "right" Prince Charming. They also see what happened when Josh strayed too far off the reservation and I'm sure that's being brought up by JB and J'chelle  as "see what happens when you move too far out from Daddy's umbrella of protection?"

Jana has no reason to think critically about anything. Her entire intellect has been formed by their twisted theology and the Gospel according to Bill Gothard. There's no critical thinking ability there. Any question or doubt any of the spawn may have will be quickly squashed as the devil trying to get a foothold in their minds and move them away from the "right responses" they've been so carefully trained in for their entire lives. 

Yeah...I don't get it either. It's so foreign to the way I raised my kids... 

[Carm_88]

I think the saddest thing is that they don't get a choice in what they want. Jana being an example of this, a prime one. She has to be a wife and a mother. That's the only choice that she has, if she wants out of the house, she will need to find a guy. Maybe the perfect Prince Charming, maybe that is what she is waiting for. Michelle and Jim Bob have crippled their kids, they can't dream. If they look at other people and wonder what their lives are like, they don't see freedom like we do, they're afraid. It has to work the marriage, the children, it's all that they have. Josh's infidelity would have shook them to the core because it's not supposed to happen. They are not like us, they are better. This is sad and painful and hard for those of us who have choice and want to believe that they want it too. 

[Coconut Flan]

The biggest problem, as Josh has shown, is that they are just like the rest of us.  They simply aren't equipped to understand that and deal with it.

[feministxtian]

4 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

If they look at other people and wonder what their lives are like, they don't see freedom like we do,

They see what they were taught to see. They see us all as hedonistic, satan-worshipping, evil people. They see us as "not loving children" because we don't have many, if any. They see us as anti-God, anti-family because dad goes off to work, mom goes off to work and the kids go to school or daycare. They don't see us as free...they see us as enslaved to something...not understanding that they are the ones with no freedom. 

[Carm_88]

Just now, feministxtian said:

They see what they were taught to see. They see us all as hedonistic, satan-worshipping, evil people. They see us as "not loving children" because we don't have many, if any. They see us as anti-God, anti-family because dad goes off to work, mom goes off to work and the kids go to school or daycare. They don't see us as free...they see us as enslaved to something...not understanding that they are the ones with no freedom. 

Exactly. They have a very warped, small view of the world. A fearful view of it really. 

[snickers34]

Curious to know....does anyone think there's a possibility that JB would approve someone who has different political views? Jana is never 'breaking away' and will wait for a JB approved suiter, but do you think there's a possibility that he'd approve of someone who's, say, still very Christian, non-drinker, hard worker, etc, but maybe not a total bigot? There's pro-life democrats out there too, maybe not a ton...

[Mercer]

1 hour ago, snickers34 said:

Curious to know....does anyone think there's a possibility that JB would approve someone who has different political views? Jana is never 'breaking away' and will wait for a JB approved suiter, but do you think there's a possibility that he'd approve of someone who's, say, still very Christian, non-drinker, hard worker, etc, but maybe not a total bigot? There's pro-life democrats out there too, maybe not a ton...

I think it would depend on how different the different is. I could more easily see Jim Bob compromising on a more libertarian suitor than someone even slightly liberal. I can't see him approving anyone who was in support of government assistance for the poor (in spite of the Duggars' own very dependent lifestyle) or who was not bigoted against gay and transgender people, or who had much concern about racial justice since the world of the Duggar parents is so monochrome.

Basically, I could see Jim Bob agreeing to disagree with a Gary Johnson voter, but not so much a Hillary Clinton supporter.

[Eatingintheprayercloset]

Didn't the J'slaves mention the importance of politics in their book? I can't imagine Jim bob or any of the Duggars for that matter accepting someone with different political views. To them, someone who isn't highly anti-lgbt and pro-life wouldn't even make it to an acquaintance stage, let alone to a courtship. They only mingle with people who match their core beliefs. They will court someone who went to public school and university but there's a big line in the sand for anyone who isn't on the tea party line on the GOP spectrum. This is why there is zero chance of any of the Duggars escaping radical Christianity through a spouse. Hopefully once the four youngest start courting, elderly JB&M's vetting will be half ass. 

[snickers34]

Fair points, @Mercer and @Eatingintheprayercloset (doh, is there a way to tag people? sorry, new here but a long time lurker ! You guys are a hoot and so much fun!).

I know, Duggarland is an alternate universe, so there's no point in applying logic. But, I just physically cannot comprehend how a dad would approve an 18 year old dips&*t without a real job, education or any life experience to marry one of his daughters to crap out a quiver-ton of kids while praying your reality show continues as the only way to support them (*cough* Ben *cough*). I mean, seriously, only an ignorant backwoods family would believe that hating gays and science be all that you need to "win" someone's daughter. In short, sorry Jana, you're screwed.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

A what if....What if they are holding Jana and John David back till they can court/marry/reproduce at the same time? Or even having Jer/Jed wait so all 4. Now that would be a VERY SPECIAL SEASON.

[snickers34]

I don't get the whole Jana/John plotting to wait and get married at the same time?

1. JBoob would LOVE to marry more kids off for attention and ratings. It's all they've got to keep their show. They're literally the most boring people on the planet otherwise.
2. I don't think, similar to others upthread, that they want to leave this lifestyle. And by that I mean that I don't think JD/Jana are sitting there feeling oppressed and plotting how they can escape together.
3. I genuinely think that Jana drinks the kool-aid and would love to be in a relationship and married, having kids, etc. I really think she's way more insecure than her sisters and that probably factors in. As someone a tad older than her, I can just see so much of my younger self in her. My $0.02.

[Purrl]

Maybe they have finally accepted the fact that Jana does not feel "called" to marry and are letting her have her decorating and improvement jobs, such as they are.

[QuiverDance]

Wasn't Grandma Duggar an under the radar businesswoman?  I don't see what would preclude Jana from following in her footsteps.  

[Bethella]

11 hours ago, QuiverDance said:

Wasn't Grandma Duggar an under the radar businesswoman?  I don't see what would preclude Jana from following in her footsteps.  

Grandma Duggar had her real estate license, so did Grandpa.

[SassyPants]

Didn't GM Mary own the yogurt shop where Michelle worked in HS and where she actually met the Boob?

[alba]

I'm cautiously optimistic about Jana's tattoo parlour. Gothardism doesn't 100% disallow paid employment for women. Erin Paine teaches piano lessons even after marriage, while her sister Michael was a nanny at least up until marriage and possibly still is. I'm not sure on the exact rules, but things that take you away from your children and husband or that require you to submit to an ungodly man are big no-nos, so an unmarried woman running her own business would be acceptable.

[Coconut Flan]

Michael is talking about opening a sewing business.