Jessa and Ben 49: Five and Counting

[GreenBeans]

2 hours ago, Cam said:

I don’t own a pair of sweatpants, and I never lay around the house in my pajamas all day. By mid morning I’m showered, dressed and have my hair curled. This was my routine even during the pandemic.

It’s really good to have a routine like that in place! I know that as long as I don’t go out, I tend to hang out in my pjs all day, so leaving the house at least once means at some point during the day I actually get showered and dressed. 😁

5 hours ago, Italiangirl said:

She is a mother of five now the novelty has come off, the show is ended and there is nothing new on the horizon, it has to be kinda boring right now

I guess people are different and some people really do enjoy being around their kids all day. I can say that even though I love my son dearly, I would go crazy if all I did all day every day was taking care of and playing with him. And he’s only 3 years old and an only child.

I can’t imagine being at home with 5 kids of how-many-years-and-under all day every day. There must be so much constant noise… With 5 kids, there’s no way they all play quietly and independently at the same time. I bet there’s always at least one kid crying, needing attention, needing a drink, fighting with a sibling… and let’s face it, little kids are adorable, but they can be so annoying too, and not having an adult conversation for days or weeks while being stuck in a neverending spiral of cooking and chores and laundry can absolutely wear you down.

[dawn9476]

Podcast with Jessa and Ben. I think this is the link to an YT alternative so that other couple doesn't get the clicks.

https://yewtu.be/watch?v=r63hG8xWYdY

Edited May 5 by dawn9476

[Travlr98]

19 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

I’m actually not super active or high energy. I love staying in, reading and not having to socialize and talk to people. But I still feel like I need to get out the house at least once per day. Living in a big city it’s not much of an effort either. Going to the supermarket or the bakery is like a 5 minute walk.

I’ve been sick for months between November last year and March this year. It started off as a cold that wouldn’t go away, the cough turned into bronchitis, it kept getting worse until I could hardly walk for 5 minutes and spiked a pretty bad fever for a week and ended up in hospital with pneumonia and broken ribs from all the coughing. 

I’m in my early 40s and have never really been sick apart from a cold, so this was a humbling experience. I am almost back to normal now thankfully, but these months really made me appreciate being able to do all the “normal” things. Just being able to go for a walk without having to worry whether I’ll be out of breath, having enough energy for full work days, being able to plan outings again without the thought of “not sure if I’ll be well enough to go” at the back of my mind, it feels so good!

So I guess that’s one reason why I try to get out the house every day - because it simply feels good that I CAN!

Glad you are feeling better. I have had breathing problems since December.  I had a mild heart attack at the end of January. I'm recovered from the heart attack, but im still having breathing problems. I have to get a pacemaker. I'm hoping that helps my breathing.  

[Meggo]

On 5/5/2024 at 9:44 AM, GreenBeans said:

It’s really good to have a routine like that in place! I know that as long as I don’t go out, I tend to hang out in my pjs all day, so leaving the house at least once means at some point during the day I actually get showered and dressed. 😁

I guess people are different and some people really do enjoy being around their kids all day. I can say that even though I love my son dearly, I would go crazy if all I did all day every day was taking care of and playing with him. And he’s only 3 years old and an only child.

I can’t imagine being at home with 5 kids of how-many-years-and-under all day every day. There must be so much constant noise… With 5 kids, there’s no way they all play quietly and independently at the same time. I bet there’s always at least one kid crying, needing attention, needing a drink, fighting with a sibling… and let’s face it, little kids are adorable, but they can be so annoying too, and not having an adult conversation for days or weeks while being stuck in a neverending spiral of cooking and chores and laundry can absolutely wear you down.

100% this. Just getting to have an adult conversation has to be a novelty to her- even if it's just a to a clerk at a store. I only have one small person but when he was little - I tried to leave the house every day just so I wouldn't feel trapped in the whole laundry, food prep, cleaning up after rut. 
But we had a park at the end of our street. And we did go bundle up and find all the other parks in the area (even if we had to drive to them). And sometimes play was "here is a giant box of beans and a small cup" (that killed a LOT of time, honestly. Sandbox, but with beans). It's exhausting though. I forget out old unfortunately-named-Spurge is but that's a LOT of kids under his age. And five kids manage to go in 12 directions. I'm exhausted just thinking about it. 

 

[Cam]

Could be Jessa’s fallen victim to the fundie cult conditioning of young wives and mothers: First, they’re married off young while their hormones are raging. They start getting pregnant and giving birth within a year or two. The young women bask in the glow of the attention this brings, so they pump out more kids. The wives’ youthful energies are poured into being joyfully available, pregnancy, taking care of newborns, taking care of the house. Then a few years in, it’s time to add the responsibility of homeschooling the kids. No sending them out into the world! No break from motherhood! No time to connect with others, not even your own siblings whose lives mirror your own! This is what you signed up for! No, wait, this is what your religion insisted is your role in life. I mean, the Duggars can claim all they want that they’re no longer part of the IBLP, but who they kidding? 

Edited May 7 by Cam

[SassyPants]

On 5/7/2024 at 5:12 AM, Cam said:

Could be Jessa’s fallen victim to the fundie cult conditioning of young wives and mothers: First, they’re married off young while their hormones are raging. They start getting pregnant and giving birth within a year or two. The young women bask in the glow of the attention this brings, so they pump out more kids. The wives’ youthful energies are poured into being joyfully available, pregnancy, taking care of newborns, taking care of the house. Then a few years in, it’s time to add the responsibility of homeschooling the kids. No sending them out into the world! No break from motherhood! No time to connect with others, not even your own siblings whose lives mirror your own! This is what you signed up for! No, wait, this is what your religion insisted is your role in life. I mean, the Duggars can claim all they want that they’re no longer part of the IBLP, but who they kidding? 

And it’s awful how that lifestyle ages women. Michelle Duggar looks healthier and more vital now than she did 20 years ago!

[dawn9476]

I knew joy is Carlin's BFF and her brothers hang out a lot with Bates brothers, of course, but it looks like Jessa may be more friendly with them than realized.  Jessa's wearing shorts, too.

Edited June 20 by dawn9476

[JDuggs]

So funny that Jessa is shorts didn’t even faze me, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in shorts before. I was wondering if Jessa being in TN had anything to do with Jason’s girlfriend who lives somewhat close to the Bates clan. Jessa doesn’t strike me as close to the Bates’ girls, but I think they would always feel friendly and hospitable.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Maybe Jessa wanted to look for something from the boutique while she was in town? 

[marmalade]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Maybe Jessa wanted to look for something from the boutique while she was in town? 

Not her style. At. All.

[Cam]

I know nothing about the Bates. But Carlin looks stylish and comfortable in her skin. Did the Bates daughters grow up without the pressure to keep their body covered from ankle to neck like the Duggars? Was Gil Bates as obsessed with his daughters’ dating life the way JB was? 

[justpassingthru]

44 minutes ago, Cam said:

I know nothing about the Bates. But Carlin looks stylish and comfortable in her skin. Did the Bates daughters grow up without the pressure to keep their body covered from ankle to neck like the Duggars? Was Gil Bates as obsessed with his daughters’ dating life the way JB was? 

Gil was on the Gothard's board. He was most definitely obsessed with his daughter's purity. 

They just knew how to hide stuff better than the Duggars.

Early Bates was sooo fundie

[JDuggs]

Jessa/Ben had brunch with Carlin/Evan, Trace/Lydia and Josie. Still not getting a feel for why they’re in TN.

[JermajestyDuggar]

16 hours ago, marmalade said:

Not her style. At. All.

This dress looks like it could be from the boutique. When she dresses up, she might like something from BSB.

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

Somehow I can't see Jessa and Carlin really hitting it off. I feel like Jessa is too no-nonsense for all the IN YOUR FACE! that is Carlin.  But if some of the family traveled that way, why not all meet up. Jessa prefers simple clothes in  earth tones - dark green, maroons, browns.  Does BSB do earth tones like that? I can only recall ever seeing pinks and girlie type colors. I've never been on their site though.

[Melissa1977]

19 hours ago, Cam said:

I know nothing about the Bates. But Carlin looks stylish and comfortable in her skin. Did the Bates daughters grow up without the pressure to keep their body covered from ankle to neck like the Duggars? Was Gil Bates as obsessed with his daughters’ dating life the way JB was? 

Absolutely yes. They dressed long prairie dresses, several layers on summer etc. Swimming in street clothing. Obsessed about purity. The only difference with Duggars was the weird posts Kelly did about her sons manliness, posting pictures of them covered in mud, showing their muscles and things like that. 

I followed them back on the day, before Jeb and Judson were born. Bates had a lot in common with Rodrigues, especially regarding their meals and healthcare. But Bates physical features (round faces, shorter and wider bodies, no dark circles under the eyes...) made them look healthy, while Rodrigues looked emanciated. 

[Cam]

@Melissa1977, thank you for a brief summary of the Bates shtick. Carlin now appears to dress without such modesty standards. Was it getting married that turned the tide, the way it did with Jill and Jinger? Do the other Bates daughters still conform to modesty rules? If not, what do their parents think. JB was positively outraged the first time Jill was photographed in pants out in public.

[Melissa1977]

2 hours ago, Cam said:

@Melissa1977, thank you for a brief summary of the Bates shtick. Carlin now appears to dress without such modesty standards. Was it getting married that turned the tide, the way it did with Jill and Jinger? Do the other Bates daughters still conform to modesty rules? If not, what do their parents think. JB was positively outraged the first time Jill was photographed in pants out in public.

Alyssa was the first *clothing rebel*. She dressed very modest and outdated when she was single. By the time she got engaged, she was using tight clothes, but skirts only, several layers, etc . And days (weeks?) after her wedding, she started using jeans and regular bathsuits. It was shocking. She wrote a post about her views on modesty that was the opposite of Bates/Gothard views. She said that if someone looked at her it was not her fault, or something like that.

The next one was Josie, then Carlin. Then Whitney. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Remember Alyssa’s sky high hot pink shoes she wore to her wedding? That was a pretty big indicator she wasn’t going to wear Bates modest styled clothing in her marriage. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Remember Alyssa’s sky high hot pink shoes she wore to her wedding? That was a pretty big indicator she wasn’t going to wear Bates modest styled clothing in her marriage. 

Is there is a picture somewhere?

Im still recovering from Erin’s pink bedroom. 

[Cam]

38 minutes ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

 

Im still recovering from Erin’s pink bedroom. 

O.M.G. I don’t know anything about the Bates except for that pink Pepto Bismol bedroom because it was featured on a Duggar episode. And her husband-to-be was only too happy to let her have what she wanted because sexual intercourse was finally in his near future, I guess, so he was going to get what he wanted. Would Erin have known what sex was prior to marriage, or simply given a brief rundown the day before the wedding like the Duggars were?

I remember thinking how oppressed and deprived (not to mention crowded) Erin’s childhood had to have been to have such an overload of pink in the marital bedroom. It’s like the little girl in her was never allowed a voice, so she finally gave that little girl free range when it came to the decor. I know the room was eventually redone.

[LillyP]

Carlin's first photo she posted on the airplane to her honeymoon was them holding hands rested on their legs...and she was wearing jeans. She wasted absolutely  ✨ no time ✨ in transitioning to pants. If memory serves me correctly, she is also the first (maybe even only?) Bates kid to have done traditional father/daughter and first dance at her wedding. 

[AprilQuilt]

On 6/21/2024 at 12:07 AM, dawn9476 said:

I knew joy is Carlin's BFF and her brothers hang out a lot with Bates brothers, of course, but it looks like Jessa may be more friendly with them than realized.  Jessa's wearing shorts, too.

This is the woman who had to have her knees blurred out on Counting On. And now she looks so normal in shorts. (Carlin styles them better with the French tuck and the belt but Jessa looks fine). 

Let's be clear that if Jessa is in shorts now, they are fundie mainstream and there is not a sniff of rebellion about them. She is not interested in rocking the boat. After Jinger and Jill took so much heat for the same thing only a few years ago...

[marmalade]

It was Michelle who TLC blacked out the knees while she was water skiing. Jessa never rocked the boat while on the show. She started in joggers, but I don't recall if she was seen in them before the show was cancelled. But she was skirts only on the show. 

[Idlewild]

There was a time when Jessa charged to lecture young women on how to dress modestly yet fashionably- the Duggar branding has fallen a long way since then.