Another Duggar Courting - Joy and Austin, Part 2

[Scribber]

I struggle with my thoughts on this.

I was 19, Mr Scribber was 24 when we married. (I am 33 now and we are still happily married.) BUT??? We waited almost 6 years to have a kid. And we had one.

I also don't know that Joy (or any of these girls) have any clue how "bad" they have it within their cult. It's virtually all they know.

I have a few fundy acquaintances, and while they are more immersed in the world than the Duggars (and only because they attend the local mega church) the kids have all very much drank the kool-aid.

Just last night one of the daughters entered a courtship with another boy from my church. It was chosen for her, "arranged" by her parents. And while this boy wasn't her first choice? She will marry him and settle into their fundy life. Because that's the life she knows.

[TeamDefraudinSquad]

I am just getting caught up on all of these Duggar threads. I cannot get past Austin's Dad (verbatim) telling his daughter not to "defraud" him with her clothing on that strictest parent episode. Isn't that basically admitting your own child was arousing you sexually? Poor Joy.

[CreationMuseumCurator]

3 minutes ago, TeamDefraudinSquad said:

I am just getting caught up on all of these Duggar threads. I cannot get past Austin's Dad (verbatim) telling his daughter not to "defraud" him with her clothing on that strictest parent episode. Isn't that basically admitting your own child was arousing you sexually? Poor Joy.

He didn't say that to his own daughter, he said it to the "out of control" teen girl who was sent to stay with them for the purpose of making good TV reform.

ETA: But still, poor Joy.

[TeamDefraudinSquad]

9 minutes ago, CreationMuseumCurator said:

He didn't say that to his own daughter, he said it to the "out of control" teen girl who was sent to stay with them for the purpose of making good TV reform.

ETA: But still, poor Joy.

Ohhh, I must have gotten the two confused. Thanks for clarifying that for me!  Then the Dad basically admitted a teenager was turning him on. Just...eww. I also echo what everyone else here has said, that this seems like the strictest set of Duggar in laws to date. Something about those parents, they strike me as being very mean hearted. Its just sad.

ETA: I meant mean hearted even by Fundie standards. I don't know, something about that "if you don't go to church you're not my family" comment gave me that feeling. I think even the Duggars would try and get someone to convert/ go to church with them first before washing their hands of someone.

[PiecesofmyHeart]

On 11/16/2016 at 6:52 AM, eveandadam said:

I'm stilll waiting for an asian or black girlfriend/boyfriend and/or for someone who is not as fundie. come on, people, it's possible!

Jeremy is Eye-talian.  

[QuiverFullofBooks]

8 hours ago, front hugs > duggs said:

It's actually a state law, not a federal law. States are allowed to choose to have the drinking age at 18, but the government said if they do that they will receive less federal funds. I think that started with MADD gaining steam.

When Elizabeth Dole was transportation secretary, the Reagan administration and Congress said they would withhold highway funds from any state that didn't raise the drinking age to 21. There's a Supreme Count case about it called South Dakota v Dole. My law school class read it on the day Bob Dole lost the 1996 South Dakota primary, so we found the name amusing.

[Pasta]

Joy and Sierra are BEST FRIENDS, right? So it's only right that she plan Joy's wedding, right? Also, since Joy is the queen of the boys, can she have boys stand up for her instead of bridesmaids? 

[RabbitKM]

I would hate it if my parents and siblings all made 30 second YouTube videos when I got a boyfriend...

[eveandadam]

2 hours ago, PiecesofmyHeart said:

Jeremy is Eye-talian.  

That's white?!

[mstee]

I know a lot of us see Joy as more free-spirited and a bit of a tomboy, which sometimes can be interpreted as possibly less religious. But I remember her crying and being one of the most upset (on the show) about Josh. I think if she had any ideas of being less religious, they were squashed by that scandal. It proved to her that going against dad and "gods will" would be followed by misery. I'm sure it solidified what she had always been taught. Austin may seem like a very safe choice for her, since he's well known to he family and comes from very similar upbringing. What we're seeing as all his negative aspects are probably the positives in Joy's opinion. Just my 2 cents. 

[twinmama]

On 11/16/2016 at 3:18 PM, WhyNotJulie said:

I think someone said it earlier in this thread - the upside here is that it literally cannot get worse!

The next Duggar to court will either be Jana or a J'boy. No getting around that.

Makes me curious if the younger girls will all court/marry right away at 18 or 19 like Joy? To keep the gravy train going they need a constant influx of new events. I don't know about anyone else, but I have pretty much no interesting in "here's Jessa's 5th baby! or is it 5th and 6th!?" Not that I've watched the actual show in years anyway... or have cable tv...

20 hours ago, Georgiana said:

Why WOULD a woman wait to get married in that culture?

If she doesn't want a million children but also doesn't want to go against the way she was raised. Just think of how many children Joy has the potential to have if she marries at 19 or 20, versus Jana if she marries at 27 or 28!

[twinmama]

20 hours ago, louisa05 said:

And, of course, regardless of church teaching, surveys have indicated that as many as 98% of American Catholic women of childbearing age have used contraception at some point.

My mom was super Catholic and I'm one of 3 children. When I had trouble conceiving we had the first talk we've EVER had about sex and contraception and conception etc. She was like "oh yeah Dad had a vasectomy right after your youngest brother was born!" and talked about her being on the pill various times. She's never been in any way fundie, but a go to church every Sunday, even on vacation (ugh), Catholic. 

Oddly, she got so turned off my the sex scandals and moving from New England where religion is private and personal to the south where religion is who you are, that they no longer go to church at all and don't consider themselves Catholic.

18 hours ago, Toothfairy said:

Do they realize a courtship isn't a big deal in the real world? 

MY CHILD IS DATING!!!!!! lol

13 hours ago, imokit said:

She's marrying crazy fundies who've almost certainly used birth control.

Yeah Michelle Duggar used birth control too, but we know how they feel now. BC years and years ago when she was fertile doesn't mean much for state of mind now.

[habert]

On 11/15/2016 at 11:38 PM, ClaraOswin said:

These weird-ass videos have got to stop! Do they not know how bizarre and awkward they look??

 

lmao did Michelle just meet Joy for the first time 30 seconds before they filmed this?? Cause I thought she was her mom, but

[Gobsmacked]

Joy didn't look at her mother once in that snip, even though Meeeechelle kept on hugging her and turning into Joy. 

She did glance at The Holy Boob then gave a smirky smile. 

I can't help but think that Joy sees the courtship and hopefully( if they are not already) engagement as away out of the TTH ASAP.

If true, how sad

[snickers34]

32 minutes ago, habert said:

did Michelle just meet Joy for the first time 30 seconds before they filmed this?? Cause I thought she was her mom, but

lol! well said! I think that Joy still drinks the koolaid, but she's been exposed enough to know that her parents' lame ass videos are embarrassing and weird as all getout.

[lomo6]

Wow, this makes me really sad, but I can understand why Joy wants out of Dodge. From her perspective, helping to run a camp and having a few kids of her own probably sounds better than raising half a dozen siblings and doing all the concomitant housework.

Trying to find the silver lining...I can't imagine how much longer the Duggar franchise can carry on at this point. Next season will be Joy courtship/marriage, Jessa baby #2, another Dillard perhaps. Then they'll probably have another season with Jana courting/getting married, perhaps combined with one or two of the older guys especially if they find a more charismatic future helpmeet. But after all the pretty older girls are married off it's hard to imagine what would be left to draw in viewers. 

 

 

[Terrier99]

I have a theory that they could have had Jennifer standing there and JB and DQ would never notice it's not Joy.

[twinmama]

2 hours ago, RabbitKM said:

I would hate it if my parents and siblings all made 30 second YouTube videos when I got a boyfriend...

An introvert must have a horrific time in the Duggar sideshow. Maybe that's why Jana isn't courting etc, staying single is the best way to stay out of the spotlight. I thought the same thing when someone brought up the strict parenting bit about the only time your bedroom door is closed being when you're changing, to avoid sin. I wasn't a particularly sullen teenager, but I definitely spent a lot of time in my bedroom with my door closed just to be alone (not masturbating lol). And I only had 2 younger brothers to keep out. 

[O Latin]

All of these reactions about Joy being too young are interesting to me because I live in an area with a fairly large Mormon population, for whom getting married at 19-21 isn't seen as super weird. Even though I'm not Mormon and never have been, when you see a lot of people around you doing things a certain way, it just seems normal. So I hear about someone getting married at 19 and I'm like, "yeah, that's young, but whatever." Not that I think getting married at 19 is necessarily a good idea, I just have to remind myself that in many areas of the country/world it's not normal.  

[twinmama]

20 minutes ago, lomo6 said:

From her perspective, helping to run a camp and having a few kids of her own probably sounds better than raising half a dozen siblings and doing all the concomitant housework.

The thing is, marrying at 19 or so means she'll likely have WAY more than 6 kids. Yes you start off with zero, but in less than a year you've got your own newborn. Then more and more and it's nonstop.

[snickers34]

4 minutes ago, twinmama said:

An introvert must have a horrific time in the Duggar sideshow. Maybe that's why Jana isn't courting etc, staying single is the best way to stay out of the spotlight.

Could not agree more! As someone a hair older than Jana, I really think this could be a big thing for her.

[RosyDaisy]

It's going to be interesting to see who Joy's picks as her MOH. Will it be one of her sisters, Austin's sister, or her BFF Carlin Bates?

[twinmama]

4 minutes ago, RosyDaisy said:

It's going to be interesting to see who Joy's picks as her MOH. Will it be one of her sisters, Austin's sister, or her BFF Carlin Bates?

I wonder if a Duggar girl would be allowed to have a broken courtship or engagement or whatever it is that Josiah had? 

[lomo6]

18 minutes ago, twinmama said:

The thing is, marrying at 19 or so means she'll likely have WAY more than 6 kids. Yes you start off with zero, but in less than a year you've got your own newborn. Then more and more and it's nonstop.

Oh no doubt. But she may not be thinking that far ahead. 

[Nikedagain?]

13 minutes ago, RosyDaisy said:

It's going to be interesting to see who Joy's picks as her MOH. Will it be one of her sisters, Austin's sister, or her BFF Carlin Bates?

I am bettin' on Jill. I think her departure from the TTH has affected Joy a lot.