Another Duggar Courting - Joy and Austin, Part 2

[luv2laugh]

Austin seems like a wackadoodle fundie too based on how he talks about the Lord. I know it's tragic but let's not let our hopes jade us. Joy is likely to be eyeballs in deep in this cult.  I saw the Strictest Parents episode and they are super fundie. No escape for Joy. Also, they are probably already close to engaged because she's featured on the family's website. They wouldn't be announcing it too early especially after Josiah's failed courtship. I'm calling it: an engagement by Valentine's Day and a wedding in June for Joy.  She will be pregnant by August. Jinger will be pregnant by the Spring. Jill will announce a Christmas pregnancy. Jill, Jinger, Joy: Pregnant Together People cover. Bonus if Anna is too.

[backyard sylph]

I've heard of so few of these reality shows, I looked this one up and learned it was on here in 2009 and 2010. So that's quite awhile ago. And also, I thought you might like reading someone's brief description of her time on the show. It sounds like most shows of this ilk that I've seen, though I'm no expert; kinda real, kinda extruded.

Tangentially, I read the other day that Tony Danza was in a show a few years ago in which he was a 10th grade literature teacher in Philadelphia. But the producers thought it was boring and tried to encourage him to amp up the drama between the students. He refused, so they stopped filming, and showed only seven episodes with their existing footage.

Anyway. They're Duggar-approved, so they can't have mellowed that much, but it's possible the passage of time and aging of their kids has continued to shape their understanding of family dynamics. I don't know what else the poor girl would do if she just hung around the house with Jana and her brothers, though, so either way, um, I guess I'm glad she gets to, you know, become a woman.

 

[AuntK]

I feel bad for Jana not because she is still single, (yay!), but because she is almost 27 years old, stuck at home, no job, no career, no education and no future. How depressing! I think back to when I was 27.  I was married, (which wasn't great cause it didn't last), but I had a college degree and was starting grad school, working , and I had at least lived on my own for a while. 

I just can't imagine getting up each day, taking care of someone else's children, (without pay), doing housework, not having my own place, or even my own room, not having any time to myself, being totally dependent on my parents, it just sounds like a really sad life!

[antwan]

On 11/15/2016 at 11:22 PM, snickers34 said:

Ugh, watching it now. They're sorta awful in every way the Duggars are. Except that they have 17 less kids.

 

 

The daughter came across as a Gothard daughter, for sure. And Austin is barely present in the episode. But in spite of their uber conservative beliefs (which I happen to respect; I have no right to force my beliefs on their chosen lifestyle, but that's a debate I'm not taking on), I do think the parents did a really good job of reaching the troubled teens who came to stay with them. The dad, in particular, really got the boy to think about his shortcomings and how they would impact his future. He mentored him well, imo.

[Pasta]

On 11/18/2016 at 2:11 PM, Carm_88 said:

I just hope she follow Jinger's example and wears shoes.  

I would be surprised if she did. They said that she's the one who rarely wears shoes. 

[Carm_88]

4 minutes ago, Pasta said:

I would be surprised if she did. They said that she's the one who rarely wears shoes. 

A girl can dream and I am hoping for small things. 

[RosyDaisy]

Just another young woman to be handed over like property.

[ClaraOswin]

12 hours ago, alba said:

Almost certainly.

For those of you who are interested, here's a picture featuring Jennifer Hartono from back in the days of crunchy curls, found on the old Duggar website thanks to the Wayback Machine, the bane of history-rewriting fundies everywhere.

At first glance, Jill looked like a regular person in a sweatshirt and jeans. Ha!

[Carm_88]

13 hours ago, alba said:

Almost certainly.

For those of you who are interested, here's a picture featuring Jennifer Hartono from back in the days of crunchy curls, found on the old Duggar website thanks to the Wayback Machine, the bane of history-rewriting fundies everywhere.

Man they all look different except Michelle she's exactly the same. Do I spy the green shirt? 

Also I never could figure out Jana's hair like this. I know it's bumped up but it looks very odd. 

[eveandadam]

On 18.11.2016 at 3:55 PM, Rachel333 said:

I grew up in Arkansas surrounded by fundies (including the Duggars themselves) and teen marriage wasn't very common at all. I had a friend who got married at 19, against the advice of everyone in her life (her father even refused to attend her wedding, which I thought was kind of sad even if he didn't like her husband), but was divorced by 21. (I was going to say "sadly," but honestly the guy was an abusive asshole and it was the wedding, not the divorce, that was the sad part of that story. I wish she hadn't had to go through that, but she came out of the experience much more mature.)

I also had a cousin get engaged at 17 and married at 18. Everyone in the family thought that was incredibly young too, but knowing her and the guy she married they thought it was probably for the best. He has actually been a stabilizing influence on her life and encouraged her to attend college, which she was not planning to do. She's now 23 and graduated this year with a teaching degree.

There was also a girl in the community who "graduated" from homeschooling a year early, at 17, so she could get married. I didn't know her, but the guy she was planning to marry was/is somewhat prominent in the fundie community so a lot of people were talking about it. Even fundies were surprised at how young she was.

Young marriage is common among people I know, certainly, but "young" usually means early-mid 20's, not teens. There are plenty of people still single in their late 20's too, which is why I don't buy the "Jana is an old maid in fundieland" talk that I often see on FJ.

Very interesting. In my environment, the fundie girl youngest to get married was 20. the marriage is a good one (as far as I can judge from afar) and they've known each other for a very long time before and grew up together in church. I have to say: she is one of the most non-judgemental people I've ever known and is really living the christian livestyle. I admire her for that. I grew up with her but not in her church and the only thing she did was ask me 2 or 3 times if I wanted to enter her church or join bible time, which was very sweet, but not in  a pushy kind of way. Even when I got married to my wife ( ! ) she came to my  bachelorette party AND to my wedding. Another friend I grew up with for 15 years and who is not fundie was so much against homosexuality she stopped talking to me immideately and I got uninvited to her wedding.

This showed me that average christians can be bat shit crazy and fundie christians can be very nice and "normal".

My parents got married at 20, my grandprarents at 19. In our circles early marriage (18 - 25) is really not uncommon. Didn't the Seewalds get married at 17, like Michelle did?

 

[front hugs > duggs]

23 hours ago, alba said:

Almost certainly.

For those of you who are interested, here's a picture featuring Jennifer Hartono from back in the days of crunchy curls, found on the old Duggar website thanks to the Wayback Machine, the bane of history-rewriting fundies everywhere.

I personally never thought Jill was very attractive, but I am thinking now it's more the lifestyle on her. In this baggy t shirt, I could see her studying in a dorm room with some sweatpants or shorts on and it working for her, listening to heathen pop music and going to the mall with friends. Really sad that she was denied this experience that is so normal for girls to have.

[MadeItOut]

EVERYTHING I can find on Joy's prospective inlaws is giving me déjà vu of my own in-laws. The most difficult bit to cope with was the mothering despite marriage.

She insisted I gave up my uni place  to be a  "proper" wife, but then wouldn't leave me to get on with it. If they remain at either family's property, they'd be existing about as close by as we were. I did a decent job, but nothing was ever good enough.

I'd make him sandwiches, she'd bin them and give him a massive lunch, so not just wasting one meal, but ensuring the most disruption possible to family dinner, which was about the only time I could get him in the same room as us.

I'm trying to remember that I'm looking back and she's likely not aware/concerned in any real way in the outside world, and that there's always a chance of a different outcome, but I've a knot in my stomach on this one, and then I remember what it's like to be trying to feel your way into a different fundie environment. Women can be incredibly cruel to each other. I just hope her MIL and SIL are as good to her as they can be.

[Nikedagain?]

UGH.

How can I live in a world with Donald Trump AND the ownership of little JoyJoy being bartered/exchanged by the righteous headships. I just cannot. 

[mango_fandango]

The crunchy curls were not a good look. IDK to me they just look kinda greasy and awful. The more gentle curls they go for these days are much nicer IMO.

And no, I can't imagine Joy pregnant. Some people couldn't really see Jessa pregnant but she does seem to really love Spurgeon. Plus Joy is 19 FFS. That's so young! I get that it works for some, but it just seems sad that she's condemned to a life of being a baby making machine so young. At least other people who marry young have somewhat of a life. Alyssa Webster seems more mature plus she has a little more freedom (I know wearing pants is no indication that she's moved away at all from fundieism, but it is something, which will NOT happen with Joy).

[HurricaneBells]

I swear some fjérs are psychic. Was reading an older forum and found this from Miss Brooklyn, posted April 2012. If you were still active, that would have got a high 5!

“I have to wonder if these teens would be as unruly if they had a normal upbringing. Must be tough to be 17 and be able to view all the crap as crap, and not be able to do anything about it. Let's marry him to Joy Anna and they can both leave this idiot cult together”

[trustworthy]

On ‎11‎/‎20‎/‎2016 at 0:32 AM, ClaraOswin said:

At first glance, Jill looked like a regular person in a sweatshirt and jeans. Ha!

Agreed.  Jill actually looks super cute in this photo.

[CorruptionInc.]

20 minutes ago, trustworthy said:

Agreed.  Jill actually looks super cute in this photo.

Also agreed, she looks like a normal girl her age in that photo. Now she just looks tired and annoying!

[marmalade]

On 11/19/2016 at 4:07 PM, Rosierose1222 said:

I had this bright idea when Wayback Machine as mentioned. I used it to look at the Fort Rock website and it looks like the picture with Joy in it was put up sometime between August 6th and October 3rd. There was a large gap beteeen August and October and the pictures changed between them. 

ETA:  Also yay first post after long time lurking!!

October 3rd was a Tuesday. The Duggars (and Joy) were at that marriage retreat the first weekend of October, which would have been a couple of days before. Hmmm....

[front hugs > duggs]

6 hours ago, marmalade said:

October 3rd was a Tuesday. The Duggars (and Joy) were at that marriage retreat the first weekend of October, which would have been a couple of days before. Hmmm....

On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.

It's October 3rd.

[actuallyjessica]

1 hour ago, front hugs > duggs said:

On October 3rd, he asked me what day it was.

It's October 3rd.

I was just about to quote that too.  *high 5*

[IReallyAmHopewell]

On 11/18/2016 at 5:14 PM, Ace3 said:

I wonder if even if Josiah had wanted the same life as her and was totally on board with the jeans and college, if his parents insisted that they "prayed" about it and thought it was wrong and basically forced him out of the match because they didn't like her independence. Just a thought. Hopefully it's not too weird and they can still be friendly-ish.

As I understood it only the girl can break it off. The boy gave his word that he was interested in her as a wife. Unless he can prove she did something truly immoral he's stuck. I could be wrong.

[Coconut Flan]

58 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

As I understood it only the girl can break it off. The boy gave his word that he was interested in her as a wife. Unless he can prove she did something truly immoral he's stuck. I could be wrong.

I think that's one of the rumors that goes around about fundie courting.  It may be true with certain families or sects, but I don't think it's universal across all our fundies.

[alba]

I think that's one of the rumors that goes around about fundie courting.  It may be true with certain families or sects, but I don't think it's universal across all our fundies.

Yeah, I don't think it is. Levi broke off his engagement with Jessica Boyer, for one.

[Georgiana]

9 hours ago, CorruptionInc. said:

Also agreed, she looks like a normal girl her age in that photo. Now she just looks tired and annoying!

Jill annoys the dickens out of me too.

That doesn't mean I BLAME her for how she is.  In fact, I pity her because I think she is just DESPERATELY trying to make the best out of a really shitty childhood and a life that doesn't work for her as well as she'd hoped.  I honestly want her to get help because I think she has a lot of things she needs to work through with a professional, and that M + JB taught her to just sweep all her issues under the rug of Jesus rather than trying to work through them.  

But I still think she is annoying on camera.  

[Carm_88]

11 hours ago, CorruptionInc. said:

Also agreed, she looks like a normal girl her age in that photo. Now she just looks tired and annoying!

Jill was always annoying!  I hope that Jinger has told her that she needs to work on her contentment.