Another Duggar Courting - Joy and Austin, Part 2

[LawsonBatesEgo]

I go AWOL for a few days for my exams and come back to this. 

So. Where I grew up, teenage marriage is not very common at all. I feel a little sad for Joy, mainly just thinking of the lost opportunities and potential she has been robbed of by her parents. She should be at college, hanging out with her friends, learning things, meeting new people, maybe planning a study abroad trip for the summer......not essentially getting 'pre-engaged'. I know this way of life is all she has never known, but it still makes me sad to think in 2 years she'll probably be knocked up or even have a baby on her hip already and it makes me sad for her. Especially the way she had a real spark when she was a kid and it basically got beaten out of her by her crappy parents. 

I hated listening to her basically saying she is trying to outgrow her tomboy-ness. She shouldn't have to 'outgrow' that or 'change' that. She should be allowed to be whoever she is and wants to be. Ugh, this family makes me so mad. 

I'm hoping the fact that Austin has been a friend for 15 years means he genuinely likes her for her, not because he sees a gravy train and $$$$$$. He's also cuter than Bin and Derdick Manbun, so well done on that front, Joy.  

Also: FREE JANA! At this rate, she's going to be stuck in that house with Hannie as the next closest girl in age and there almost 16 years in age difference there. At this point, I really hope she has made the conscious decision not to court because she hasn't been interested in any of her suitors yet and NOT a case of Boob and J'Uterus refusing to let her go. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Nikedagain? said:

I am bettin' on Jill. I think her departure from the TTH has affected Joy a lot. 

Plus Jill is the only one of the older girls that hasn't been a MOH in a Duggar wedding. 

[busdrivingmom]

I really am not happy that Joy is the next courting.  I have told the story before of my nephew who was raised fundie.  He got permission to date a giri from their church at 18 after he graduated high school (she was "held back" another 6 months for two Bible classes she had to make up from transferring at 15)  and they married at 19.  Their first kid was born when they were 20, and they divorced at 23.  He did not realize how wacky she was because their church was forcing them to get married, even thought they had gone through counseling and sought permission to date.  They really did not get a good chance to know each other in that light.

Why not one of the older boys?  We know Jana will probably never be able to court/get married.  

[actuallyjessica]

Plus Jill is the only one of the older girls that hasn't been a MOH in a Duggar wedding. 

Yep. Jill for MOH, Carlin Bates as bridesmaid, along with Jana, Jessa, Jinger, Austin's sister and I'm gonna go ahead and throw wild cards Amy and/or Sierra!

I love weddings as an event, so this is all purely superficial and premature speculation: I do wonder what kind of wedding Joy would have, because she has never seemed particularly girly or interested in the finer details. As for a dress... can't imagine her in one, at all. But if I had to guess I'd say Joy may wear a simple A-Line. Nothing excessive like lace or beading.

I thinn Joy marrying Austin is a good idea at all, but maybe we're all wrong about him. Maybe he's different than his family? Doubt it, but we'll see.

[Carm_88]

3 hours ago, twinmama said:

An introvert must have a horrific time in the Duggar sideshow. Maybe that's why Jana isn't courting etc, staying single is the best way to stay out of the spotlight. 

I am the classic introvert and I get so much second hand embarrassment from those announcements, I would die. I don't even let significant others put in a relationship with My Name on facebook because no. If it didn't work out there would be questions and I'm not dealing with that. If Jana is shy or uncomfortable with the spotlight I can see her not wanting to court. 

[RosyDaisy]

I predict the bridesmaids will be Jana, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Megan (Austin's sister), and Carlin Bates. Joy may surprise everybody and choose Carlin as her MOH.

[HarryPotterFan]

On the speculation of the courtship announcement being staged: It 100% is. They talked about how Austin asked her to court under the stars, and the video was filmed during the day. So the "I just asked her to court." is total bull.  By "just" he doesn't mean "moments ago" it could be "yesterday" or "months ago." 

people.com/tv/joy-anna-duggar-is-courting-austin

[Percy]

Joy: Dad, Austin and I are talking about courting.

JB: Great news Joy, Jinger is not that keen on being in the spotlight, let's just wait until she is married and then announce your courtship to take the focus off her.

[RosyDaisy]

Nope, nope, nope. Austin would have to ask for JB's permission to court Joy.

[Bad Wolf]

And complete a 50 page questionnaire.

[VineHeart137]

21 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

On the speculation of the courtship announcement being staged: It 100% is. They talked about how Austin asked her to court under the stars, and the video was filmed during the day. So the "I just asked her to court." is total bull.  By "just" he doesn't mean "moments ago" it could be "yesterday" or "months ago." 

people.com/tv/joy-anna-duggar-is-courting-austin

While I am not saying it wasn't staged, I think when she was talking about being under the stars she was referring to the last time they were there together, in a group.

[HarryPotterFan]

4 minutes ago, VineHeart137 said:

While I am not saying it wasn't staged, I think when she was talking about being under the stars she was referring to the last time they were there together, in a group.

Oh hm, I misread that. I still think it's very likely it was staged.

[Munichnark]

She's already engaged for sure, otherwise she'd not be on that photo of that campsite.

I just cannot stomach the thought for her to be married, a housewife, having sex, and being pregnant. Just fucking no.

[Tiny Bubbles]

A cousin got married at 17. She had to get written permission from her parents.  We all understood that she was marrying to escape a bad home situation. 

So she married, had a few kids. They all grew up together and somehow it more or less worked. She's still married 40 years later, anyway.   

As a teen my cousin saw an opportunity, grabbed it and tried to make it work. To me this is what Joy is doing. 

I just can't imagine life in the TTH these days.  Weirder and weirder, this bunch. 

[eveandadam]

1 hour ago, Munichnark said:

She's already engaged for sure, otherwise she'd not be on that photo of that campsite.

I just cannot stomach the thought for her to be married, a housewife, having sex, and being pregnant. Just fucking no.

It's entirely possible that they are already engagement but I would still bet on an engagement at the end of the year, so, very soon.

Since the Josiah debacle the Duggars only seem to announce a courtship when an engagement is happening very soon. So Joy could be the youngest Duggar so far to get married, as a TEENAGER!

I hope she waits until she is at least 20 or 21, one can dream, right?

2 minutes ago, Tiny Bubbles said:

A cousin got married at 17. She had to get written permission from her parents.  We all understood that she was marrying to escape a bad home situation. 

So she married, had a few kids. They all grew up together and somehow it more or less worked. She's still married 40 years later, anyway.   

As a teen my cousin saw an opportunity, grabbed it and tried to make it work. To me this is what Joy is doing. 

I just can't imagine life in the TTH these days.  Weirder and weirder, this bunch. 

It seems like a chain reaction that is unstopable now.

I predict we will see two Duggar weddings in 2017: Joy and Joseph

[Fundie Bunny]

8 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

It's going to be interesting to see who Joy's picks as her MOH. Will it be one of her sisters, Austin's sister, or her BFF Carlin Bates?

Carlin, who will probably also be a MOH at Tori's wedding a few weeks after.

[Italiangirl]

why Tori's wedding has to be a few weeks later than Joy's? Am i missing something? They announce an engagement?

[alba]

why Tori's wedding has to be a few weeks later than Joy's? Am i missing something? They announce an engagement?

They haven't, but they've been in the "getting to know you" stage for a while now, so an official courtship announcement is likely to happen soon.

Some FJers also used to speculate that Michelle and Kelly were in constant competition with one another, vying to out-Quiverfull the other and praying for that elusive Baby #20. If that's an accurate assessment, then those energies will likely have been redirected towards marrying off children and enlarging their quivers by proxy, via their daughters' and daughters-in-law's wombs.

[pooplexed]

I think the whole cult is tragic, but within it, I can't see Joy's courtship as a step toward the worse. Unlike her sisters, she has a much deeper relationship her future headship than JimBoobie has with him. Austin potentially spoke about it with her before he "applied" for getting to know her better. She and Austin are from families with the sicko abusive willingness to put children on reality TV. (I have never seen Strictest Parents and have only seen a few clips from Counting On.) But they have a lot in common. Austin is a layer of authority between Joy and either Jimboobie or the Strictest Parents. 

Of course, I wish that Joy was equal to Austin, I wish that the Strictest Parents were not still an authority to Austin, and I wish that Joy and Austin had different upbringing about sexuality and autonomous choices. But the lines of authority and rape-culture sex "education"  is baked into the cult. Considering the restraints of the cult, this is the most equal relationship yet. 

The next best thing after birth control would be a premarital whoops pregnancy and having the hastily married couple get sent away to another relative like Grandma.

I don't find this more tragic than Joy taking care of the littles until a fame-whore submits an application to Jimboobie.

[HereticHick]

Should we start calling him "J'Austin" now?

And what is so wrong about getting married at the camp? Just because a rustic wedding theme isn't your personal cup of  tea doesn't make it a "nightmare."  It seems perfectly reasonable to have a wedding there, and it seems to suit Joy's personality.

I thought about getting married at a beloved summer camp, and I have attended weddings at camps.  And I am assuming that Ft. Rock must have some sort of "chapel"

[HarleyQuinn]

I still can't get over Austin putting the pillow on his lap in the World's Strictest Parents episode when the other girl had a low cut top on. It's just sad and gross. 

[Audrey2]

10 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Plus Jill is the only one of the older girls that hasn't been a MOH in a Duggar wedding. 

Remember, Jill was Joy's sister mom. Now that we're in this mess, it will be interesting to see how the sister mom's children court. For example, if Jill and Derrick make their relationship look good, will Jill's littles court earlier, trying to emulate this? Or if Ben and Jessa's littles see their marriage as a bad thing, will they, as a whole wait longer? I really don't want any of them to be courting, but I can't change it. I'm trying to look at them as an anthropologist or sociologist would. 

 

For her situation, I think Joy is too young. I did grow up in the midwest, though, and I knew of young women Joy's age who would marry their sweethearts who had joined the military, so they could live with them. I also knew of some whose boyfriends wanted to marry before shipping out. That way, if anything happened, the young woman would get survivor's benefits. Sadly, a young woman in the class ahead of me married young, and she was a widow at 19 or 20. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

I still can't get over Austin putting the pillow on his lap in the World's Strictest Parents episode when the other girl had a low cut top on. It's just sad and gross. 

That seems pretty normal for a teen boy. From what I've been told, that body part will stand at attention for a stiff breeze. And I wouldn't want my pants tent on national tv. 

[Rachel333]

I grew up in Arkansas surrounded by fundies (including the Duggars themselves) and teen marriage wasn't very common at all. I had a friend who got married at 19, against the advice of everyone in her life (her father even refused to attend her wedding, which I thought was kind of sad even if he didn't like her husband), but was divorced by 21. (I was going to say "sadly," but honestly the guy was an abusive asshole and it was the wedding, not the divorce, that was the sad part of that story. I wish she hadn't had to go through that, but she came out of the experience much more mature.)

I also had a cousin get engaged at 17 and married at 18. Everyone in the family thought that was incredibly young too, but knowing her and the guy she married they thought it was probably for the best. He has actually been a stabilizing influence on her life and encouraged her to attend college, which she was not planning to do. She's now 23 and graduated this year with a teaching degree.

There was also a girl in the community who "graduated" from homeschooling a year early, at 17, so she could get married. I didn't know her, but the guy she was planning to marry was/is somewhat prominent in the fundie community so a lot of people were talking about it. Even fundies were surprised at how young she was.

Young marriage is common among people I know, certainly, but "young" usually means early-mid 20's, not teens. There are plenty of people still single in their late 20's too, which is why I don't buy the "Jana is an old maid in fundieland" talk that I often see on FJ.

[ClaraOswin]

6 hours ago, Tiny Bubbles said:

A cousin got married at 17. She had to get written permission from her parents.  We all understood that she was marrying to escape a bad home situation. 

So she married, had a few kids. They all grew up together and somehow it more or less worked. She's still married 40 years later, anyway.   

As a teen my cousin saw an opportunity, grabbed it and tried to make it work. To me this is what Joy is doing. 

I just can't imagine life in the TTH these days.  Weirder and weirder, this bunch. 

It's a shame Joy isn't escaping anything though, based on what we know of Austin's family.