Another Duggar Courting - Joy and Austin, Part 2

[ophelia]

I just watched the youtube video where Juterus and Boob stand on the stairs with Joy in their middle and announce the courtship.

WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST WATCH?? Joy seems very uncomfortable standing between her parents, Boob was as smug and disgusting as ever and I'm convinced that Juterus is on some kind of medication to keep her spirit up for the show and the never ending TLC gravytrain.

And please, Meeeeechelle, take off that apron. As if you could still make any sane person think that you are doing even the tiniest bit of housework. That's what your slaves daugthers are for.

 

[charmedforsure]

I skipped out on reading/perusing FJ for a day and a half (waiting to watch JinJer's wedding this weekend with my Duggar-lovin' bestie...) and didn't want the episode spoiled, but after having commented about another fundie wedding (Brigid Boyer's), I stumbled upon the news of Joy-Joy's courtship.

I feel terribly sad after reading this news.

After all my wishing and hoping and flailing for Jill/Jessa/Jinger to break free with their new husbands, I'm resigned to think that Joy has found herself the fundie-est of all fiancés. We all know Jing and Jer were already engaged when they announced their courtship, and it's the same bag of chips with Joy and Austin (especially with that picture of the Forsyth clan donning the front page of the Fort Rock website...). My hope for Joy is that she and Austin actually have a deeper relationship than her sisters did with their respective husbands at that point in their courtships because they've known each other for so long. I hope Joy is also doing this for the right reasons and that she feels that she's actually ready for marriage, and not just as an escape from the TTH and her hoard of younger siblings. 

The stupid videos Boob and J'Chelle have been putting out on the interwebs lately have been grating on my nerves. I couldn't get through the Courting Jinger episode of Counting On (the only episode I've attempted to watch after the 19KAC cancellation) because of all the little flashbacks of JB&M attempting to describe a child they have no clue about other than maybe their name and gender. I'm betting good money that because there have been a few Boob and/or J'Chelle moments sprinkled throughout the season they've been amping up for a bigger return to the airwaves with season 3 of Counting On. That's some serious manipulation of both TLC and the remaining non-leghumper viewership. Ew.

 

[Mrs. Figg]

8 hours ago, sippin0nsunshine said:

He's still there but he changed his username (fly4jesus) at some point so I'm gonna say you're right about the add requests.

Haha! And it says his name is Jimmy. Wonder why he chose that name?!

[Fun Undies]

18 minutes ago, Mrs. Figg said:

Haha! And it says his name is Jimmy. Wonder why he chose that name?!

^ to fit in with all the other Duggars?
. . . Maybe it's not that he wants Joy at Fort Rock, as much as he wants to be at the TTH, and if he has a name J-name, he'll be able to slip in unnoticed

[just_ordinary]

4 hours ago, faraway said:

I could imagine they started courting recently, but have been "special friends" for a while. Since Josiah's broken courtship I can see them being extra cautious before making things official. Plus these two seem very comfortable around each other so I'm sure this has been in the works for a while. If that is the case, I do wonder how long they can stretch out this courtship since Joy is so young. Will she be a teen bride?

To the bolded: She is 19 and therefore an adult! I'm might be a bit confused by the American law here. Because I think if you are an adult legally you should be able to buy and drink alcohol but whatever. Or am I mistaken and you are only a legal adult when you hit 21? So 19 might be considered young but no one should deny an adult the right to make adult decisions (even if they are wrong in retrospective- it's called learning). In my opinion it makes almost no difference in this case if she is 19 or 25. Her education and experience will always holding her back to be able to act and think like what we would consider mature. Even if they would break free together it would take them quite some time to get there. 

Don't get me wrong: I am sad for her. But I would have the same feelings for a 25 year old Joy.

[Fun Undies]

The unfortunate thing with her family's lifestyle is that she's "peaked" in their culture.  She got a basic education, training at home for "helpmeet status", and knows at least the base requirements to meet the needs of homemaker, and mother.  Let's be real, it is very, very unlikely that she was going to go off to college and become an independent career woman (which is a damn shame!).

So her options were to get married now to a family friend, or wait around for five to even ten more years.  I don't know, that's a toss up in my opinion.

(I do have hope that because they are childhood friends, they at least know enough about one another, for it be a real bond/love.  Obviously, I'm not holding my breath that anything really changes in her career prospects, or even controlling the number of blessings she'll have). 

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

21 hours ago, caszandra said:

I am with you on the creep out factor. To me it kinda screams that she is no longer a Duggar, she belongs to us now and our son will not be a toilet scrubber for JB like Benny boy. We will control what happens and you JB stay out of it. I hope it isn't that way for Joy and this will be a good thing for her, but I'm not holding my breath.

Bolding done by me.

Exactly the word that was in my mind ever since I saw that picture: controlling. To me, it almost seems like a threat; don't you dare failing in this courtship-leading-to-marriage-thing (although I also believe that they're probably already engaged).
This Forsyth family looks very creepy to me (I watched the episode of the Strictest Parents yesterday. Even though you can be sure that the program edited the most disturbing things out of the episode, they still creeped me out).
I find it scary that Joy-Anna isn't afraid to marry into this family. There was some talk earlier in this thread (or the previous one) about how Joy-Anna probably hasn't suffered as much as her older sisters in regards to the strict regime of JB and the pre-TLC days. However, to me it looks like she has suffered just enough to not being able to see how controlling the Forsyths seem to be.

[VelociRapture]

9 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

To the bolded: She is 19 and therefore an adult! I'm might be a bit confused by the American law here. Because I think if you are an adult legally you should be able to buy and drink alcohol but whatever. Or am I mistaken and you are only a legal adult when you hit 21? So 19 might be considered young but no one should deny an adult the right to make adult decisions (even if they are wrong in retrospective- it's called learning). In my opinion it makes almost no difference in this case if she is 19 or 25. Her education and experience will always holding her back to be able to act and think like what we would consider mature. Even if they would break free together it would take them quite some time to get there. 

Don't get me wrong: I am sad for her. But I would have the same feelings for a 25 year old Joy.

18 is the legal age of adulthood in the states. Anyone can get married after hitting 18 so long as both parties agree and are capable of consenting. 

21 is the legal drinking age. I'm pretty sure it was raised from 18 a while ago due to scientific evidence of the effects of alcohol on the adolescent brain (I could be wrong about the reason.) Some people want the age raised even higher for that reason. 

A woman marrying at 19 is still considered a "teen bride" because she hasn't hit her twenties yet. It's an odd age where you're legally an adult, but still technically a teenager in many ways.

Joy is likely to remain a teenager emotionally for a long time. So the argument some are making about her age is probably linked more to the fact that marrying young could mean way more kids for them than waiting a few more years.

[faraway]

@just_ordinary She is a legal adult but until you turn 20 you are still a teenager. That's simply the meaning of the word. I am worried for her because married and pregnant at 19 could hold a pretty intense life. If she turns 25 with 4-5 kids that's just a lot. Alyssa Bates has said she doesn't want 19 kids and I'm not sure if Joy even has that option. The Duggar brand is popping out babies and I'm sure the adult kids are indoctrinated enough to follow that path. While the Bates' are the same, Alyssa has visibly distanced her from that setting.

My guess is they will stretch the courtship out as much as they can so the pregnancy announcement comes afters she turns 20. That's exactly what Alyssa did and it was very calculated. With Alyssa I always had the feeling that she knows what she's getting herself into, I'm not so sure about Joy.

[samurai_sarah]

All I can think of is this song: (For those who don't want to click: The lyrics start out with "19, you're only 19 for god's sake...)

 

[front hugs > duggs]

8 hours ago, actuallyjessica said:

I have a theory about the timing of this courtship announcement - what if they announced right now during the hype of Jinger's wedding to avoid backlash of "she's so young!".

If this was their intention, I'd say it failed. People cared wayyy more about Joy's courtship announcement than the wedding by far.

[Iokaste]

How old was Josiah when he "gave away a piece of his heart" to Marjory (was that the name?)? 

[JillyO]

29 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

18 is the legal age of adulthood in the states. Anyone can get married after hitting 18 so long as both parties agree and are capable of consenting. 

21 is the legal drinking age. I'm pretty sure it was raised from 18 a while ago due to scientific evidence of the effects of alcohol on the adolescent brain (I could be wrong about the reason.) Some people want the age raised even higher for that reason.

The reason was actually to reduce drunk driving. Personally, I think it's ridiculous. If you're old enough to get yourself killed in a war, (or to get married - to stay at least somewhat on topic,) you're old enough to buy a damn beer.

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

10 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Thank you THIS!  Realty tv isn't real. I watched that show and they sent obnoxious brats bad attitudes to live with people who keep their kids on a 1 inch leash. And had them over emphasize their strictness for "shock value".  I'm not cheering for Joy here but these folks may not be fun loving, but they don't seem to over the top crazy either. 

 

My worry is, that exactly because of this reason, they seem to be not that bad (Forsyth family), but more in a way like the Duggars don't seem so bad on their tv-show either. Editing can be done with two turnouts in mind: either make it appear better, or worse.

[front hugs > duggs]

21 minutes ago, JillyO said:

The reason was actually to reduce drunk driving. Personally, I think it's ridiculous. If you're old enough to get yourself killed in a war, (or to get married - to stay at least somewhat on topic,) you're old enough to buy a damn beer.

It's actually a state law, not a federal law. States are allowed to choose to have the drinking age at 18, but the government said if they do that they will receive less federal funds. I think that started with MADD gaining steam.

[BemusedByFundamentalism]

8 hours ago, Toothfairy said:

Do they realize a courtship isn't a big deal in the real world? 

Can you imagine how horrible it would be if you started dating someone and then your parents decide to tape a video to put up on youtube and their facebook page to announce that you're dating? And during this video you're not even allowed to talk, but you have to be present. It's all so absurd.

[JillyO]

2 minutes ago, front hugs > duggs said:

It's actually a state law, not a federal law. States are allowed to choose to have the drinking age at 18, but the government said if they do that they will receive less federal funds. I think that started with MADD gaining steam.

I know that. Don't think I said anything contradictory? I don't think it matters much if it's state or federal law, ain't like any state was going to keep a lower drinking age if it meant less $$$.

[SorenaJ]

To why Joy wants to marry into this family: maybe the TTH is even worse. The Duggars could be on the worlds strictest parents as well. 

[front hugs > duggs]

34 minutes ago, JillyO said:

I know that. Don't think I said anything contradictory? I don't think it matters much if it's state or federal law, ain't like any state was going to keep a lower drinking age if it meant less $$$.

Sorry! Wasn't trying to correct you! I was just piggy backing off you as I feel like most people don't realize it's a state law that could theoretically change pretty easily.

[SassyPants]

4 hours ago, imokit said:

Joy is young and his family are Cray Cray.

But

They've known each other since they were little - this means she probably knows what she's getting into more than her sisters did, and they probably know each other better. They played together when little.

His family owns that camp. It may be a sign that she hasn't been quite as broken as we think. She's going to a place where she can do active outdoors stuff. 

She has a chance to learn skills there. There have been pictures of her working at their camps previously. During the time she's married but not yet birthed her first, she may well work for the camp and at least have things to do unlike the paralytic boredom Jill and Jessa had at this time.

She's marrying crazy fundies who've almost certainly used birth control. This may give her access.

Personally I'm happier with Austin then Jeremy (why would a college educated experienced person want a submissive with no life experience?) Or Derrick who sought JB out after seeing the show.

I think everyone knows what they're getting with this one and while it's not what I want for her, it's what was expected.

If they were 25 and 22, I'd agree. 

I can not get over Joy's age. Although in Duggarville, Joy is just on standby at her age. Joy may as well be married, working at the camp and taking whatever classes she wants online vs single, raising her parent's kids and doing online bible study.

[BeccaGrim]

22 hours ago, nausicaa said:

Wow, that's a good point Jana is the only eligible daughter left. So from now on out it's only Duggar boy marriages (less appealing ratings-wise than daughter marriages) and/or more babies (much less interesting than babies, in my opinion).

Though I suppose the Bateses only have Carlin left in terms of courting age eligible daughters. 

Yes--and I hate to say this--but the Bates have Tori to sell off on the show. Another Webster baby.  Michael hasn't had any children yet, whether that's on purpose or because she's having trouble, they will likely address it for ratings at some point. Nathan will find a girl since his courtship ended (They seem to sell their sons just fine on that show.) Lawson will find some and his country music.  And then by the time that has all happened, Carlin will be in a courtship and Josie will be old enough to court.  

Jana will be it for the Duggars unless they can make their sons palatable to the public and after Josh...

1 hour ago, Iokaste said:

How old was Josiah when he "gave away a piece of his heart" to Marjory (was that the name?)? 

He's 19 or 20 right? But Marjorie was 17....

[Angelic83]

I hope Joy is happy with her choice.

And what do the boy do exactly? JD is a pilot but does he make money from it? That could be why they are not courting jet....

[HarleyQuinn]

1 hour ago, Iokaste said:

How old was Josiah when he "gave away a piece of his heart" to Marjory (was that the name?)? 

18, I believe. Maybe 19 or almost so? I know Marjorie was 17 when that was going on.

I saw the Seewalds posted a congratulations video too, I didn't watch it though. That awkward stuff makes me cringe. 

[stevie]

9 hours ago, Fundie Bunny said:

I feel the same way about all of this. I'm just 20, my life right now is school, friends and drinks. It just kills me she's been denyed all of this. It just kills me she's been denied to have her first kiss in private. It kills me she hasn't been allowed to make mistakes. The worst of all, is that she doesn't even know what she is missing. She has been denied all that life has to offer, and now, she is going to go have a baby every other year. She is the first Duggar or Bates girl younger than me, and it his close to home. I knew they were young when they married, but it hasn't been until now than i'm realizing how young they are. How young we are.

What kills me inside is that they don't have a choice other than to get married and have kids. I know there is some people my age are getting married and having kids but they have other options of what to do in their life. It makes me sad that these kids don't have another option. The social worker in me wants to find these kids and empower them and show them their strengths and make them realize how much potential they have in this world other than getting married and having kids. Another thing I've learned so far in my education to becoming a social worker is you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped and I'm not sure if any of these kids want help

[nst]

18 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

18, I believe. Maybe 19 or almost so? I know Marjorie was 17 when that was going on.

I saw the Seewalds posted a congratulations video too, I didn't watch it though. That awkward stuff makes me cringe. 

plus it's useless to believe anymore considering they started months ago 

the seewalds must think we are stupid or that we care what they think 

either way Ben lose the hat please