Bates Family Part 7

[grandmadugger]

2 hours ago, elliha said:

My guess is that Chad and Erin uses NFP and given her condition they are both very committed to this and it thus has pretty high success rate if her periods are regular. While it is not quiverfull it is generally accepted among conservative Christians. I am sure that Erin would never abort an oops baby and would take the medicine necessary to maintain the pregnancy now that they know what to do but that right now I think they are doing what they can to space them out to be able to have as big a family as they can because I genuinely believe that Erin wants a big family. She has accepted that there will not be 15-20 kids like her parents but I think she will have as many biological children as she can have. I think they are spacing them out to give her body the best chance possible to handle it. I expect her to have 4-5 kids but probably at least 2-3 years apart unless there is an oops baby somewhere in the mix. 

Birth control is generally accepted among conservative Christians.  But I do agree that they will do something to space the kids.  The doctor they used will prescribe BC so hopefully they listen to him.

[jerkit]

Does anyone know the backstory with Kelly's sister? Was she adopted by the parents later in life?

[boxedin]

I found this with a simple Google search. It is all about Kelly's family.

http://bates-family-photos.tumblr.com/post/61394747098/kellys-family

[Firiel]

3 hours ago, grandmadugger said:

Birth control is generally accepted among conservative Christians.  But I do agree that they will do something to space the kids.  The doctor they used will prescribe BC so hopefully they listen to him.

Would Erin's clotting disorder make it unsafe for her to take hormonal BC?

[elliha]

5 minutes ago, Firiel said:

Would Erin's clotting disorder make it unsafe for her to take hormonal BC?

I think that at least some kinds of birth control pills are out of the picture. You also need to remember that some prolife people buy into the myth that hormonal birth control causes miscarriage so she might not use them even if she can medically. My bet is on NFP given her upbringing, that is the smallest step away from quiverfull if you can't do quiverfull.

[twinmama]

10 hours ago, actuallyjessica said:

Here's the situation for Erin (who seems to have little trouble getting pregnant, staying pregnant is the problem):

Some sort of birth control, not get pregnant.

No birth control, get pregnant, don't take Lovenox and subsequently miscarry each time. Lots of feelings of guilt (both religious and moral), emotional pain and physical pain having to endure miscarriages.

No birth control, get pregnant, take Lovenox and provided the rest of the pregnancy and baby is healthy, "all" that Erin has to suffer with is the worry that everything will be okay with baby and birth, oh and the bruises from Lovenox.

---

They're Christians (fundamentalists at that), and all of their decisions are based on not sinning by doing what the Lord wants for them. So, I just hope that they are being counselled in a way that works best for their family and ultimately in a way that they can live with. It's not just as straight forward for them as swallowing a few birth control pills (impossible for Erin) and calling it a day on the baby making.

Even if they won't use condoms/barrier methods or hormonal birth control, they can still track her cycle and not have sex while she is fertile. It is fallible of course and not a good choice for someone who is 100% opposed to having a child. But if she is diligent about it, she could space them pretty far. At the very least she could dramatically lower her chances of getting knocked up each month. Assuming her cycles are predictable etc.

Before we started trying to have a baby, I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and it was so informative and interesting. Also made it seem like a miracle that anyone ever gets pregnant, but that could be my infertility speaking.

[actuallyjessica]

Here's the situation for Erin (who seems to have little trouble getting pregnant, staying pregnant is the problem):

Some sort of birth control, not get pregnant.

No birth control, get pregnant, don't take Lovenox and subsequently miscarry each time. Lots of feelings of guilt (both religious and moral), emotional pain and physical pain having to endure miscarriages.

No birth control, get pregnant, take Lovenox and provided the rest of the pregnancy and baby is healthy, "all" that Erin has to suffer with is the worry that everything will be okay with baby and birth, oh and the bruises from Lovenox.

---

They're Christians (fundamentalists at that), and all of their decisions are based on not sinning by doing what the Lord wants for them. So, I just hope that they are being counselled in a way that works best for their family and ultimately in a way that they can live with. It's not just as straight forward for them as swallowing a few birth control pills (impossible for Erin) and calling it a day on the baby making.

Even if they won't use condoms/barrier methods or hormonal birth control, they can still track her cycle and not have sex while she is fertile. It is fallible of course and not a good choice for someone who is 100% opposed to having a child. But if she is diligent about it, she could space them pretty far. At the very least she could dramatically lower her chances of getting knocked up each month. Assuming her cycles are predictable etc.

Before we started trying to have a baby, I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and it was so informative and interesting. Also made it seem like a miracle that anyone ever gets pregnant, but that could be my infertility speaking.

Yes, I agree. When there's a will to not get pregnant, there's a way. But if you go back and read my post again you will see I was actually saying that they may not WANT to prevent having any children... Because in their minds (I'm heavily assuming) it's in the Lords plan for them. Not just as simple as using any sort of birth control.

[grandmadugger]

4 hours ago, Firiel said:

Would Erin's clotting disorder make it unsafe for her to take hormonal BC?

I don't know.  I don't know enough about her disorder.  I know her parents are against hormonal BC but their views might waiver if it kept their daughter alive.

[accountingstar]

Gil and his siblings. It's Greg's birthday.

 

It's Tori's and either Jeb or Judson. I am unable to tell them apart.

 

Lawson and AJ.

 

Cute Video posted by Zach.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[LittleSpouseOnThePrairie]

While the Bates and Duggar families are basically the same, I can see one difference. I distinctly remember somewhere in early 19kids (or possibly late 18kids) Boob did a TH and said that he and Mechelle never went to college and they make a living just fine without a degree and so he doesn't think that it's necessary for the kids to go to college...unless they perhaps wanted to have a career that required it. (And he said it in typical smug speak.)

In the first season (or second maybe?) of BUB Gil and Kelly did a TH where they said that they both went to college and got a lot out of it, and thus encourage each of their older children to try at least one semester of college just for the experience. (Even if Crown seems to be the only choice.) 

Two totally different mindsets regarding higher education, IMO. Sorry I can't remember the specific episodes for reference! 

[actuallyjessica]

Lawson has lost a lot of weight, especially in his face.

[RosyDaisy]

I have absolutely no doubt Erin and Chad will toe the quiverful line. These people follow the Word of Gothard not doctors. Well, only when it comes to maintaining a pregnancy.

[nokidsmom]

6 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

I have absolutely no doubt Erin and Chad will toe the quiverful line. These people follow the Word of Gothard not doctors. Well, only when it comes to maintaining a pregnancy.

I am sure they have tried to see if they can have a large family in spite of Erin's medical issues affecting pregnancy.    Whether or not they still hope for that large family or have modified their expectations for family size, who knows, but somehow I suspect Chad in particular does not want Erin to risk her life and health every time. 

I certainly hope they are listening to the doctors and not relying on Billy Boy's teachings.   If they are following medical advice, they are not going to play it up because the family brand.   And believe me, because they are on TV they need to maintain their family brand just as much as the Duggars have. 

[19 cats and counting]

7 hours ago, RosyDaisy said:

I have absolutely no doubt Erin and Chad will toe the quiverful line. These people follow the Word of Gothard not doctors. Well, only when it comes to maintaining a pregnancy.

They (and Brandon/Michael) of all the married Bates kids are most likely to toe the line.  Come on, the two of them had a birthday cake for Gothard at their wedding (as well as the only t-shirt dress of the Bates brides).  Carson will definitely be homeschooled.

However, I don't think their quiver will be as full as they'd like simply due to her health. I hope Chad listens to the doctors when it comes to their family size (he seems like he would, considering he's the jackpot for fundie husbands).

[Gimme a Free RV]

12 hours ago, actuallyjessica said:

Before we started trying to have a baby, I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility and it was so informative and interesting. Also made it seem like a miracle that anyone ever gets pregnant, but that could be my infertility speaking.

It really is, when you consider all the circumstances that have to be just right for that one in some-odd million sperm to reach and penetrate the target and for the penetrated target to implant and grow.  For some, it seems so easy.  For others, not at all so.

Totally off topic, does anyone besides me think the Bates have great eyebrows?  LOL!  I mean, I don't know what it is but those eyebrows really frame their faces in a flattering way.

[nokidsmom]

Oh yeah the birthday cake for Billy Boy.

Given the IBLP lawsuit wonder if they will regret doing that in future years.  I mean, doing a birthday day birthday at your wedding for someone would indicate that you like them, right?  It would be natural assumption.  Would they want to be seen as ever liking this guy?    Given the bus throwing going on with Gothard and the board (of which Erin's dad and FIL are members) I would say it's possible

[socalrules]

The thing is that we don't know where Chad and Erin are now, after all they have faced in order to have their baby. Their circumstances have changed and they had no way to know they would end up here when they got married. They didn't know that Erin would have difficulty staying pregnant or that she would be in such danger when she gave birth. I wouldn't doubt that they have been traumatized by the entire experience. I will give them the benefit of the doubt for now because they are in unchartered waters. We also have to take in to account that they may say one thing, no birth control, but yet they are using it because of Erin's condition. 

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

1 hour ago, socalrules said:

The thing is that we don't know where Chad and Erin are now, after all they have faced in order to have their baby. Their circumstances have changed and they had no way to know they would end up here when they got married. They didn't know that Erin would have difficulty staying pregnant or that she would be in such danger when she gave birth. I wouldn't doubt that they have been traumatized by the entire experience. I will give them the benefit of the doubt for now because they are in unchartered waters. We also have to take in to account that they may say one thing, no birth control, but yet they are using it because of Erin's condition. 

Exactly - what they might SAY in public (quiverfull, no BC, etc.) - and by "public" I also mean to their family/fundie circle - and what they might DO behind closed doors could be very different things. I am not 100% sure that Erin would get there on her own, but Chad, albeit fundie, seems to have a decent head on his shoulders, and I would not be surprised if he "persuaded" her to go the BC route because of health reasons, behind closed doors of course.  

[jacduggar]

1 hour ago, socalrules said:

The thing is that we don't know where Chad and Erin are now, after all they have faced in order to have their baby. Their circumstances have changed and they had no way to know they would end up here when they got married. They didn't know that Erin would have difficulty staying pregnant or that she would be in such danger when she gave birth. I wouldn't doubt that they have been traumatized by the entire experience. I will give them the benefit of the doubt for now because they are in unchartered waters. We also have to take in to account that they may say one thing, no birth control, but yet they are using it because of Erin's condition. 

This. Losing a baby changes you. She's lost three. Plus her traumatic delivery with Carson that could have killed them both. We will never know the real answer. They will forever say they are quiver full and they are leaving it up to God. I think they are facing quite a bit of difficulty because of how they were raised. If I was in Erin's position it would be very easy for me to limit my family size and be done with it because I wasn't raised to believe I needed to have a billion kids to show my worth to God. 

[twinmama]

1 hour ago, jacduggar said:

This. Losing a baby changes you. She's lost three. Plus her traumatic delivery with Carson that could have killed them both. We will never know the real answer. They will forever say they are quiver full and they are leaving it up to God. I think they are facing quite a bit of difficulty because of how they were raised. If I was in Erin's position it would be very easy for me to limit my family size and be done with it because I wasn't raised to believe I needed to have a billion kids to show my worth to God. 

Add to it that she will know that with each pregnancy she is also risking Carson's mother. That is why I am not having any more kids. I had preeclampsia and HELLP with my twins, plus they were born at 29 weeks. I might want another child, but I'm not willing to risk their mom. They need me more than I need another kid. 

[Georgiana]

31 minutes ago, twinmama said:

Add to it that she will know that with each pregnancy she is also risking Carson's mother. That is why I am not having any more kids. I had preeclampsia and HELLP with my twins, plus they were born at 29 weeks. I might want another child, but I'm not willing to risk their mom. They need me more than I need another kid. 

Right, and she has to be able to care for Carson as well.

High Risk pregnancies are not generally "toddler friendly".  Caring for a toddler is a very physical job, and there's no way to really get around that.  Toddlers are go, go, go, tornados of mess and energy, and at Carson's age, not really ready to sit quietly and play by themselves.  People do find ways to care for toddlers and sustain a high risk pregnancy, but it is not easy and often takes a lot of support from family/friends.  

When pregnant with Carson, they were constantly bringing chairs for Erin to sit in even when no one else had them (see: the football game).  With her shots, it is very likely that she was put on strict activity guidelines or even advised to be on limited bed rest.  Her doctor may have warned her that if she chooses to get pregnant again right away, she risks "missing out" on a lot of Carson's toddler time. However, if she waits until Carson is older and more independent, she will be better able to balance both motherhood and pregnancy.  

I can see this being a major selling point for both Erin and Chad.

[HermioneSparrow]

We'll just have to wait and see. I think that if Carson is two or pushing two and they're still not pregnant then it means they're using some sort of BC whether is hormonal or NFP.. Hell, if this year Erin is not preggo then they're limiting their family's size... Erin has a great fertility actually, her problem is that she can't keep the pregnancy going so... Like I said, let's wait... Here everyone was SO sure that Whitney and Zach were going fundie lite (which is not the case) and they're pregnant already.

[sunshine]

Thursday's episode show Ashley and her sisters help with the wedding.

[accountingstar]

Preview of Thursday's episode. It is not embedding. I spotted Tabitha Paine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uiAEv4Hdi0

Lawson is quoting Mark Twain. Surprised he knows about him.

 

 

[bashfulpixie]

4 minutes ago, accountingstar said:

Preview of Thursday's episode. It is not embedding. I spotted Tabitha Paine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2uiAEv4Hdi0

 

Looks like Jana is in the background of the episode too.