WTF is lori Alexander talking about?

[jerkit]

I am SHOCKED ken advised medical assistance for a sexual problem. Ken and Lori are notorious for falling hook line and sinker for Pearl Wisdom and Debi makes it very clear that if a woman says she has pain during sex, that she's faking it to get out of rendering due benevolence to her husband and that her body isn't special. I am shocked.

[polecat]

I wanna know about this comment

I grew up on a third world island where most lived in one room shacks. It is impractical not to cosleep with one's baby, especially when nursing. And yes, many times other kids make it into bed too with the parents.

The idea that somehow cosleeping is desired in other cultures I think is not true. I think if a home has 2-3 bedrooms and a crib in one of them, most Mom's will put their child in another room in a heart beat after 12-24 weeks. It's not just about a healthy sex life, it’s about Dad and Mom getting a good night’s sleep, which is foundational to life and love.

wtf is he talking about? Where did Ken grow up?

We wouldn't have gotten a good night's sleep if we *hadn't* coslept. My kids all breastfed about every 90 minutes 24 hours a day. I can't even imagine how utterly exhausted I'd have been had I had to get up, traipse across to their rooms, feed them, then drag back to my room just in time to do it again. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

As for our sex life, it clearly didn't suffer. We managed to have three kids in less than three years, cosleeping, breastfeeding and all.

[Koala]

Just keeping up with the ever changing story of Ken and Lori:

Lori Alexander:

I wasn't attracted to Ken when I first met him.

Source: lorialexander.blogspot.com/2011/04/emotional-attraction-vs-physical.html

Lori Alexander:

Neither Ken nor I were madly in love or had sparks flying on our wedding day.

Source: lorialexander.blogspot.com/2011/09/were-you-madly-in-love.html#idc-cover

Lori Alexander:

It still was not the tingly, seeing stars type of love...never felt that with anyone.

Source: Comments from this post: lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/05/a-marriage-of-blood-sweat-and-tears.html#idc-container

Lori Alexander today:

When I went back to school, Ken's best friend asked me if I wanted to go out on a suite date with his roommate who happened to be Ken. I had briefly met him before Christmas vacation and felt some attraction to him. I said "Yes" and we knew we were meant for each other and have been together ever since!

Source: lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/07/my-dating-life-and-meeting-ken.html

[dairyfreelife]

Hah. I had a beautiful nursery set up in our three bedroom home when my daughter was born. It was used exclusively to store her clothes - she didn't sleep in there til her baby brother was born. I hadn't planned on co-sleeping full time, but it felt right to me. It's not just third world women without a choice who co-sleep Ken - but Lori never seemed to want to be around her kids all that much (despite giving up work to be a SAHM/supervise the nanny, and we all know all you care about it regular sex (which you can still have while co-sleeping - just not usually in the bed - I managed to get pregnant whilst co-sleeping with my 5 month old). Oh, and we all had better nights of sleep cause there was no getting up to feed or comfort a crying baby - just half waking to put her on the breast, and eventually baby helping herself without me waking.

Though I am sure you didn't mean it that way, the bolded could be taken as those who don't co-sleep don't want to be around their children as much. Too many cases where moms seem to think themselves as better for doing things like breastfeeding, co-sleeping, attachment parenting, not vaccinating, homeschooling, etc. If your child is loved and overall happy and reasonably healthy, there's not a need to help superior or inferior for your choices

I am not a mother, I know, but I'll be honest and say co-sleeping never seemed safe to me. And with the increasing number of co-sleep death cases, I was not wrong to worry that someone may roll over on an infant or accidentally smother their baby. You can keep the child in the room without having it on your bed. They even make little beds that attach to the parent's bed so the baby is safe and the parents have their bed too. If people do want to co-sleep, I just suggest they be safe about it. But I figure any good parents are already being as safe as can be.

[Firiel]

A comment:

I was subscribed to following this blog and so excited to learn more as I am a young wife and mother of alprecious little girl, but I am reading many controversial things from others about you, like saying it's okay to physically inflict pain on very young toddlers. I grew up in a strict Catholic home, but wasn't saved until I was 15 at a bible study with friends. People are quoting you and saying terrible things, and it literally brought me to tears. I am hoping none of it is true. I'm just looking for good, solid Christian advice, since I really didn't receive that growing up, but now I am very uneasy =( it feels like no matter where I turn to for guidance, there is always doubt that settles in and it is discouraging. I hope you can put my mind at ease, I guess. You seem like such a beautiful couple and family! Thank you

Lori's reply:

You are welcome to look through my entire blog and see if there is anything that says it is okay to inflict pain on very young toddlers. Read my own written words in context of what I am trying to teach, not a sentence or even a few words taken out of context to malign me and my words. I would encourage you to NEVER believe slander about others without reading their own words first. I always do this before I judge anyone. I know there are websites out there who hate my message and what I teach. The bottom line is that most of them hate Christ and His message so I should expect nothing less. I only want to teach God's Word and His ways, regardless whether or not it is politically correct.

My reply:

Yes, some people have had the audacity to directly quote Lori and Ken's discussions about disciplining their children, often including the direct source and screenshots. Isn't slander terrible?!

We'll see how long it stays!

EDIT: Aaaaand... it's gone! ;)

[Koala]

She's being quoted AND linked. Slander my ass.

[Firiel]

She's being quoted AND linked. Slander my ass.

Yep, whenever people talk about slander, I always think about my high school government teacher and his statement, "The ultimate defense against libel and slander is truth."

[dairyfreelife]

I always find it funny when Lori and Ken claim people here hate Christ or his words. There are many Christians on this site. They ignore that though because apparently anyone who disagrees with what they write is obviously not a real Christian. Even more than that, to go against Lori is to go against God. I believe Ken has said this at least once, though I think it was more than once. Because Lori is clearly her God's mouthpiece. She knows all.

[littlemommy]

The other day I looked up Ken's business to find out the name because I was curious if our orthodontist used his services. I looked at all the big, wide smiling faces and thought "That's the guy that doesn't believe a husband can rape his wife." I read his spiel about changing people's lives positively and thought "That dude thinks he's superior to every single woman in his audience." I saw his son's grinning mug and thought "That's the guy who shoved food into his daughter's crying mouth to prove a point."

[jerkit]

I always find it funny when Lori and Ken claim people here hate Christ or his words. There are many Christians on this site. They ignore that though because apparently anyone who disagrees with what they write is obviously not a real Christian. Even more than that, to go against Lori is to go against God. I believe Ken has said this at least once, though I think it was more than once. Because Lori is clearly her God's mouthpiece. She knows all.

But that's her game: "I just teach the bible" is a way for her to shut dissenters down, even if they are questioning genuinely.

[jerkit]

OH SWEET JESUS.

This group you speak of has stepped over the line and are liable for at a minimum gross and continual mischaracterizations, along with defamation of character. All because they disagree with what Lori teaches as she reads her Bible. Is Lori not entitled to an opinion or a means of expressing herself in training the younger women to love their husbands and be great mothers? That would be a shame if this group could shut her out with their screaming, as the fruit of her minister is so powerful and abundant. But that is what they fear. Another generation of Bible believing children carrying on the message of how to have a Biblical marriage and family.

Can you even imagine how many kids those Duggar kids will produce for Jesus! To us that is pure joy, and to them they spend hours each week trying to stop fundamentalist teaching everywhere they can. We build and they tear down and destroy. Sounds like another battle we are all familiar with in the Christian life.

Funny, I can handle the defamation better than I can the profanity that comes from some of their comments. If I could have continued a sane conversation I might still be engaged in a discussion with some of them, but when you have a few already predisposed haters who believe all spanking is wrong, no matter how you try to defend spanking, in their mind you are a child abuser. They are haters that really believe that what they are doing is a service to society. To get young ladies to avoid the truth taught in Lori’s blog because they believe it so harmful, even as you have proven with your own life that doing things God’s ways can produce wonderful godly results in your marriage.

I promise you that we are not of any group out there, nor did we really consider ourselves Fundamentalists until we were put in that box by others. We approach the Bible as it is written and accept it all as God’s Word and truth. If you can find anything with which you disagree you are welcome to catch us on it, so long as the comments are not profanity laced or accusatory, or you are an obvious troll seeking to distract from and destroy the message with nonsense. We welcome healthy discussions. But in our minds, spanking and husband leadership are two important aspects of creating a healthy Biblical family and marriage. Lori is not about to give those things up in her message because some have abused them, and some may in the future. The best she can do is honor God’s Word and her life experiences, and try to moderate her strong message by adding that abuse of any form is not an acceptable part of the Christian life for abuser or the abused. I am glad you are seeing the questions and seeing through the mess and confusion they are purposely trying to create.

Ken, I know you're still reading this. I am a Christian. I attend church weekly. I love Jesus. And I think you and Lori and disgusting. The two are NOT mutually exclusive.

[Coconut Flan]

Ken, I know you're still reading this. I am a Christian. I attend church weekly. I love Jesus. And I think you and Lori and disgusting. The two are NOT mutually exclusive.

Absolutely. As one of the people who tried to talk sense to Ken, he does NOT listen. I didn't defame him or speak with profanity. He only wants to live in an echo chamber and ride his hobby horses. Disagreeing with your interpretation of scripture is not defamation, Ken.

[Firiel]

OH SWEET JESUS.

Ken, I know you're still reading this. I am a Christian. I attend church weekly. I love Jesus. And I think you and Lori and disgusting. The two are NOT mutually exclusive.

*raises hand* Add me to the Christian, regular church-goer, Jesus lover category. And actually. In a way, I also mentor young women. I volunteer in my church's junior high youth group. When they have theology questions, I tell them the major different beliefs (as in, not just the one I hold) on the topic and then encourage them to do more research. We chat about all aspects of their lives-- school, sports, plans for the weekend, whatever. I see them as wonderful individuals with unique personalities and passions.

[church_of_dog]

This blog you speak of has stepped over the line and would be liable for at a minimum gross and continual mischaracterizations, along with defamation of character, except for this little matter of freedom of expression. All because they disagree with what various members of FJ choose to say. Is any person not entitled to an opinion or a means of expressing herself in encouraging people to express their thoughts and opinions and process their feelings? That would be a shame if this blog could shut them out with their screaming, as the fruit of free expression is so powerful and abundant. But that is what they fear. Another generation of free-thinking, strong women and men carrying on the message of how to have a healthy and satisfactory marriage and family.

Can you even imagine how many kids those Duggar kids will produce for Jesus! To us that is pure sadness for those suppressed lives, and to them they spend hours each week trying to stop free speech everywhere they can. We build and they tear down and destroy. Sounds like another battle we are all familiar with in our life.

Funny, I can handle the profanity better than I can the defamation that comes from some of their comments. If I could have continued a sane conversation I might still be engaged in a discussion with some of them, but when you have a few already predisposed haters who believe all dissent is wrong, no matter how you try to defend dissent, in their mind you are a heretic. They are misinformed, misguided souls that really believe that what they are doing is a service to society. To get young ladies to avoid the truth taught in Free Jinger because they believe it so harmful, even as you have proven with your own life that treating each other as authentic equals can produce wonderful lifelong results in your marriage.

I promise you that we are not of any commenters out there, nor did we really consider ourselves non-Christians until we were put in that box by others. We approach life as it presents itself to us and accept it all as having whatever meaning we assign or believe. If you can find anything with which you disagree you are welcome to catch us on it, so long as the comments are not illogical or prosletyzing, or you are an obvious troll seeking to distract from and destroy the message with nonsense. We welcome healthy discussions. But in our minds, avoiding child abuse and supporting people in their desire to be treated as an adult are two important aspects of creating a healthy and Biblical as desired family and marriage. FJ is not about to give those things up in its message because some have cried persecution, and some may in the future. The best we all can do is honor ourselves and our life experiences, and try to show others the fallacy in her strong message by adding that abuse of any form is not an acceptable part of the Christian life period. Nor for life under any other religion or under no religion at all. I am glad you are seeing the questions and seeing through the mess and confusion they are purposely trying to create.

Fixed that for you -- ahh, much better.

Say hey, Kenny, turnabout is fair play, no?

[latraviata]

Ken, atheists do not hate god or Christ. We just don't believe in it. Not collecting stamps is not a hobby......or bald is not a hair colour.

I think you and Lori are very ignorant and superficiel people.

[docmom]

Apparently profanity is very upsetting to Ken, but sex talk, intimate details of his sex life and in depth examination of masturbation by teenagers and the like are just fine. I wonder if we told him that "fuck" was another word for sex he'd find it less upsetting?

And spanking, don't forget the spanking!

[lilith]

Though I am sure you didn't mean it that way, the bolded could be taken as those who don't co-sleep don't want to be around their children as much. Too many cases where moms seem to think themselves as better for doing things like breastfeeding, co-sleeping, attachment parenting, not vaccinating, homeschooling, etc. If your child is loved and overall happy and reasonably healthy, there's not a need to help superior or inferior for your choices

I am not a mother, I know, but I'll be honest and say co-sleeping never seemed safe to me. And with the increasing number of co-sleep death cases, I was not wrong to worry that someone may roll over on an infant or accidentally smother their baby. You can keep the child in the room without having it on your bed. They even make little beds that attach to the parent's bed so the baby is safe and the parents have their bed too. If people do want to co-sleep, I just suggest they be safe about it. But I figure any good parents are already being as safe as can be.

Co-sleeping responsibly is not dangerous - it actually greatly reduces the risk of SIDS. Mammals sleep close to their babies - all mammals. It's fine if parents choose not to, but co-sleeping is perfectly natural and it is a myth that it is dangerous. Non intoxicated nursing mothers are hyper aware of their babies and do not roll over on them.

[FJismyheadship]

I remember when my daughter was born I was scared of sleeping with her at first because she was so tiny. Then one night it just happened... we both fell asleep on the couch together. After that, I was okay with co sleeping, even preffered it because she was right there next to me and I could check on her.

Unfortunately, it had to stop once she started kicking in her sleep.

[Coco]

Fixed that for you -- ahh, much better.

Say hey, Kenny, turnabout is fair play, no?

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

[dairyfreelife]

Co-sleeping responsibly is not dangerous - it actually greatly reduces the risk of SIDS. Mammals sleep close to their babies - all mammals. It's fine if parents choose not to, but co-sleeping is perfectly natural and it is a myth that it is dangerous. Non intoxicated nursing mothers are hyper aware of their babies and do not roll over on them.

Depends on whether it means same room or same bed, but there have been increased deaths of infants who shared a bed with their parents. But, okay, fine. I never said parents should not do it, just that it needs to be done safely and any good parents will likely have already done their research anyway. There's not a need to get into a debate over it. Co-sleep or don't, but neither makes you less. The mom wars on it are unnecessary. You aren't doing it 'wrong' if you have the baby in another room. You are not doing it 'wrong' if you have the baby in the room. And you are not doing it 'wrong' if you prefer the baby in bed with you. As long as everyone is safe and happy and the infant is loved and cared for, that's all that matters.

[Coco]

Best co-sleeping meme ever :D

My hubs and I have our one year old in the same room but not the bed. The one year old is a jumper and kicker so it wouldn't work anyway lol. When our kids were tiny i couldn't co-sleep, i'd lay awake worrying about my hubby rolling on the baby. A couple years ago a scary story was going around about a dad that woke up with a suffocated baby and a hickey on his arm from the baby trying to breathe. That doesn't sound possible, but terrified me enough to keep our kids safe from even the possibility. I don't worry about myself, but (no offense to guys) they generally don't have the built-in mommy awareness. He slept on the couch while our babies were tiny and nursing at night, i slept with the baby snuggled into a bouncy seat beside me in bed. (the ones with battery operated vibrators ROCK - baby hypnosis machine lol) The bouncy seat took up too much room for hubs to be in there too, and plus he understandably didn't like having his rest disturbed after a long day at work by the nursing/diaper change, everything-else-with-a-tiny-baby nightly show. We couldn't afford the co-sleeper bassinet options. With our first one we also stopped using the bed frame to make the bed lower, so it wasn't dangerous if the kids fell off the bed. Now we use a small crib in our room.

We just got back from vacation and co-sleeping in a hotel bed with a four year old and a one year old was actually really sweet. They were exhausted and snuggled up like little chipmunks. Plus i actually got to rest too knowing the kids are big enough now to fight their way out of a blanket if they need to. Poor hubs got stuck with one pillow all alone in the other bed though, since I made a pillow wall to keep the littles from falling off the bed :lol: