WTF is lori Alexander talking about?

[jerkit]

It will be deleted within the hour, I'm sure.

[2xx1xy1JD]

:brain-bleach:

I have no problem with children seeing normal affection between parents and having a general, vague awareness that parents may have sex.

I do have problems with kids knowing the details.

Kids would have been better served by seeing parents who actually liked and respected one another.

[Hane]

Here is Lori's response:

Hear that, ladies? We don't know about masturbation.

Oh, then that thing I've been enjoying during my alone private specialtimes since I was freaking four years old must be something else altogether.

[Curious]

Oh and ken is in the comments saying married people shouldn't be bashful about their sex lives.

There is a difference between being bashful and over-sharing. I don't care how many times a week anyone has sex. It's not my business. If I do want to know for some reason (like I'm having an issue in my marriage and want to talk it out with a girlfriend or whatever) I'm a) not going to go to KEN and Lori and b) not going to put it on the internet period.

That is what telephones and lunch dates are for!

[Curious]

Here is Lori's response:

Hear that, ladies? We don't know about masturbation.

Again the obsession with porn :roll: I can say with 100% certainty there was masturbation LONG before there was a porn industry. I can also say with 100% certainty that both boys AND girls begin masturbating long before they a) have and interest in and b) have access to porn (even with the internet)

If Lori has never masturbated that probably explains why she's such an uptight bitch all the time :shifty-kitty:

[FJismyheadship]

Neither Ken nor Lori has deleted the comment about the 17 year old who masterbates. Someone named Charlotte responded, but nothing from the Wise Ones about it. I guess this is uncharted territory for them... a GIRL who MASTERBATES!?

[Loveday]

I think Ken is enjoying those comments and won't let Lori delete them. ;)

[jerkit]

Yeah the fact that masturbation = porn is really weird. I have only viewed porn a handful of times but obviously have masturbated far more than a few times.

[Firiel]

Follow-up comment about the 17-year-old masturbation addict:

She didn't share it with me... I walked in her room and caught her at it. Her vibrator is very loud too... sounds like a weed wacker.

Oh gosh, I nearly lost my shit at work after reading this comment. :lol:

[usmcmom]

We tried to let our kids know that sex within marriage was, of course, a wonderful thing but I don't recall having specific conversations about numbers, etc, even when we had "the talk."

Our kids witnessed us having fun together and showing affection. They saw us embrace when Daddy came home from work. They caught us dancing in the dining room when a fun song came on the radio. I guess we assumed that as they grew older they would naturally know that our relationship included sex because, well, that's what happens with a married couple who is in love. Because we were loving and affectionate (in an appropriate way) outside the bedroom, of course we would be loving and affectionate in our own bedroom.

I wonder if that's why Ken and Lori had to be so specific with their kids - they most likely never displayed natural affection and pleasure in each other's company so they had to advertise "we do have sex!" Maybe their son's question was really meant to ask "Do you two even love each other?"

Oh, and the "vibrator sounds like a weed whacker" comment had me cracking up as well.

[Stynjen]

Today's post is about not controlling your husband. :lol:

Here is a comment from regular commenter Cynthia (copied in case Lori removes it):

Cynthia · 16 minutes ago

True. Nagging is annoying.

Was there any reason that you clashed so much with Ken over food? You've mentioned it a number of times, so it sounds like this was a real fixation for you. Personally, I would HATE to have anyone monitoring my food intake, and what I've heard from obesity experts is that this idea of controlling someone else's food (if they don't ask for an accountability partner) is likely to make things worse instead of better, due to emotional overeating.

I would advise women to think about what is truly important to them BEFORE they get married. If something would be a deal-breaker, don't get married to a man with that issue! If it's not a deal-breaker, accept it as part of the package deal that makes up your husband.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Bit of revisionist history from Ken, since Lori clearly controlled the kids' diet as well as his. Her daughter has written about 2 hour battles over eating a salad, and of course there are the prior posts about telling your daughters not to eat too much so they don't get fat, and praising Ryan for force-feeding little Emma. Ken also told us when he came here that it was perfectly normal to shove food into a child's mouth when they're crying.

Once again, I'm also stunned that adults can have epic battles over vegetables. I mean, it's clear that they were both hugely emotionally invested in this but.....it's just VEGETABLES, people! I feel like I'm talking to my teen or my clients, and have to break the news that the absolutely OMG TRAGIC issue they have is utterly trivial.

[Curious]

Bit of revisionist history from Ken, since Lori clearly controlled the kids' diet as well as his. Her daughter has written about 2 hour battles over eating a salad, and of course there are the prior posts about telling your daughters not to eat too much so they don't get fat, and praising Ryan for force-feeding little Emma. Ken also told us when he came here that it was perfectly normal to shove food into a child's mouth when they're crying.

Once again, I'm also stunned that adults can have epic battles over vegetables. I mean, it's clear that they were both hugely emotionally invested in this but.....it's just VEGETABLES, people! I feel like I'm talking to my teen or my clients, and have to break the news that the absolutely OMG TRAGIC issue they have is utterly trivial.

They may be able to revise history to a certain extent on Ken and Lori's blog (I refuse to call it Lori's blog, at this point). However, we have a history kept here that includes KEN'S OWN WORDS (as well as many direct quotes from their blog) that they have no control over the delete button on.

Hopefully, anyone that is actually considering following their "advice" does a little research and discovers their duplicity.

[Loveday]

Follow-up comment about the 17-year-old masturbation addict:

Oh gosh, I nearly lost my shit at work after reading this comment. :lol:

Another gem, from someone named Erin; I really feel the need to save this one before it's deleted (although as I mentioned upthread Ken is most likely having too good a time--heh-- with these comments to remove any of them... :dance: ):

Most women can't O from IC. This girl can show her husband what works for her when the time comes. Her husband can use it on her! There are MANY types of vibes. From bullets to dildos.

[Koala]

From her fb:

A godly woman must be faithful to her husband even if she does not have one yet.

:evil-eye: Say what????

[FJismyheadship]

Another gem, from someone named Erin; I really feel the need to save this one before it's deleted (although as I mentioned upthread Ken is most likely having too good a time--heh-- with these comments to remove any of them... :dance: ):

Most women can't O from IC. This girl can show her husband what works for her when the time comes. Her husband can use it on her! There are MANY types of vibes. From bullets to dildos.

He HAS to be enjoying this. I can't belive all the comments about female masterbation and vibrators hasn't been deleted. Furthermore, I'm SHOCKED Ken hasn't come in with his oh so powerful knowledge of all things to touch on this subject

[polecat]

Another gem, from someone named Erin; I really feel the need to save this one before it's deleted (although as I mentioned upthread Ken is most likely having too good a time--heh-- with these comments to remove any of them... :dance: ):

Most women can't O from IC. This girl can show her husband what works for her when the time comes. Her husband can use it on her! There are MANY types of vibes. From bullets to dildos.

Well. She's right.

That right there is enough to get her banned from Lori's blog.

[usmcmom]

Ken responds to the great masturbation debate. I think he's really hoping for details.

Ken · 40 minutes ago

Lori and I tackle many subjects, but this somewhat out of our league. At 17 you have some control, but be careful not to use it in a way that will drive a wedge between the two of you.

I spent many hours talking to my children, especially my girls, about bad thinking, and trying to show them the truth. I suggest you accept your daughter where is at, not her addiction, by her personally, and make sure that she knows she is unconditionally loved no matter what her addictions or sins.

I am curious as to why you think she is addicted, unless you can hear her regularly. My understanding of addiction to men's masturbation are some who have to do it multiple times a day, not just daily. Whatever case is there is a bright side that she is hopefully not having sex with boys.

If she is a Believer in the Lord Jesus you have some ammunition to discuss with her what the Bible says about being addicted to pleasure, or addicted to anything. Show her by your joyful, patient and accepting discussions how such long term habits are potentially harming her relationship longer with her husband. Pray for her, and love her dearly.

[ViolaSebastian]

Weird...I wonder why he felt the need to speak particularly to his daughters about 'bad thinking'?

[usmcmom]

Weird...I wonder why he felt the need to speak particularly to his daughters about 'bad thinking'?

That jumped out at me too. Why "especially my girls...?" So, his wife can "mentor" THOUSANDS of young wives but cannot speak to her own daughters about sex and purity.

Creepy.

[usmcmom]

Here is part of another comment by Ken:

To boil down sex to only procreation is unfair to the Designer and the design. Sex is every bit about bonding, connections and intimacy as it is about procreation, and one without the other is unfair to the design and purposes of God. If a wife is not enjoying sex the couple should explore why not, and see a doctor to rule out physical issues. A healthy couple should get equal benefits from sex, even if they consider their benefits different at times.

Is it just me or does the bolded seem to conflict with his attitude when he was on FJ? I don't think he was promoting medical intervention when he was talking about the young husbands whose wives hated sex. His attitude then was more like "those women need to stop whining and please their husbands."

[FJismyheadship]

I wanna know about this comment

I grew up on a third world island where most lived in one room shacks. It is impractical not to cosleep with one's baby, especially when nursing. And yes, many times other kids make it into bed too with the parents.

The idea that somehow cosleeping is desired in other cultures I think is not true. I think if a home has 2-3 bedrooms and a crib in one of them, most Mom's will put their child in another room in a heart beat after 12-24 weeks. It's not just about a healthy sex life, it’s about Dad and Mom getting a good night’s sleep, which is foundational to life and love.

wtf is he talking about? Where did Ken grow up?

[2xx1xy1JD]

Dare we hope that maybe, possibly, he could have learned something here? IIRC the discussion was pretty detailed, with a lot of information, and he was forced to admit that he didn't have a clue and that as a Christian living in California in the mid-1980s, it was apparently normal to complain to your basketball buddies if your wife was lousy in bed but totally unacceptable to listen to Dr. Ruth.

Ken said previously that his parents were missionaries. I don't know where they served.

[lilith]

I wanna know about this comment

I grew up on a third world island where most lived in one room shacks. It is impractical not to cosleep with one's baby, especially when nursing. And yes, many times other kids make it into bed too with the parents.

The idea that somehow cosleeping is desired in other cultures I think is not true. I think if a home has 2-3 bedrooms and a crib in one of them, most Mom's will put their child in another room in a heart beat after 12-24 weeks. It's not just about a healthy sex life, it’s about Dad and Mom getting a good night’s sleep, which is foundational to life and love.

wtf is he talking about? Where did Ken grow up?

Hah. I had a beautiful nursery set up in our three bedroom home when my daughter was born. It was used exclusively to store her clothes - she didn't sleep in there til her baby brother was born. I hadn't planned on co-sleeping full time, but it felt right to me. It's not just third world women without a choice who co-sleep Ken - but Lori never seemed to want to be around her kids all that much (despite giving up work to be a SAHM/supervise the nanny, and we all know all you care about it regular sex (which you can still have while co-sleeping - just not usually in the bed - I managed to get pregnant whilst co-sleeping with my 5 month old). Oh, and we all had better nights of sleep cause there was no getting up to feed or comfort a crying baby - just half waking to put her on the breast, and eventually baby helping herself without me waking.

[FJismyheadship]

His response to where did you grow up

I grew up on a Banana plantation in the Caribbean :). Although the indigenous people led 3rd world lives, we lived in cement block home with a gorgeous ocean view from a 1/4 mile away. We loved playing in the ravines with the crabs and lizards, but the roaches can be as big as a mouse and hundreds scatter when you walk into a room at times. We were rich in many ways on about a $350 a month family budget. This was 40 years ago. Missionary kid.

I didn't know he was a missionary kid, or that he grew up in the Caribbean. but I don't read Lori and Ken that much, and have only recently taken interest.

More on the masterbation

Start the talking process and let her know that you do not feel it fair or appropriate that you and others in the home have to listen to her. You can still set boundaries as she is your child and it is your home. She obviously needs someone to talk to about this who can explore the addiction and help her with her thinking.

Contact these people who may have some familiarity with this subject and some suggestions for you.

www.themarriagebed.com