19 Kids & Courting - Duggar Snark Season 8 - Part 5

[feministing]

The wedding invites are out, folks, it's harder to turn back now! I never realized they had the male/female version of the same middle name, which is sort of adorable...

My middle name is Michelle and my fiance's is Michael. Interesting parallel. Also our personalities are very much like Jill and Derrick. In fact, I feel that Jill will be the first to escape fundie-ism because I see so much of myself in her.

If she were in any other family she would be studying to be a doctor. She has the personality for it, and she's clearly passionate. Unfortunately medicine got to be too much for me so I'm taking a year off to re-evaluate my life and plan my wedding. Not sure if my decision to pursue medicine was because I really wanted to or loved the idea of doing the ultimate girl-power job that shocks my parents the most and proves everyone I grew up with wrong in their estimation of what a woman can do.

Anyway, I hope Derick's headship will direct Jill to college. I wouldn't be surprised if he does but I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't.

[gustava]

I doubt he would be packing heat if he was an accountant for the FBI. I have a dear friend who was a secretary for the FBI at one time. She worked out of the FBI office in our embassies around the world: Havana, Ottawa and Rome where she spent at least 13 years. I can't imagine that Marie's job required her to carry a gun. Btw, Marie was a career girl and never married. I think that's pretty cool!

Requirements for FBI agents are different than those for FBI staff.

[Ralar]

Also, I don't get vibe that Derick wants to go full on fundie. It's very obvious that he isn't very familiar with that life style, and is only playing along because he loves Jill.

Derick: I'm not a fundie, I just play one on TV!

[Jilli]

This is my take on Derick and Jill. Derick is probably fundie-lite or conservative Christian who wanted to do missionary work for a while. He met JB, genuinely liked him and befriended him. He saw Jill and became infatuated. He new the only way to have contact with her was by playing by JB's rules.

He and Jill had probably been courting well before Jessa and Ben were. Formal courtship and engagement announcement were probably postponed because of Derrick's missionary commitment. That explains why nobody knew Jill and Derick were a couple. He was out of the country and hadn't been around the Duggars long enough for anyone to figure it out. Then one of the little girls let it slip on tv, and of course that picture appeared.

With all of this going on, Jessa and Ben began courting. The producers had to make them the feature couple. Then when Derrick's missionary commitment was over they could proceed with a Jill and Derrick storyline with A LOT of heavy creative editing, scripting, and screen staging, and timeline fudging including the trip to Nepal .

This just my theory, and I could be wrong about the whole thing.

I agree with this. I've always guessed that the Duggars try to keep things on the down low in case things don't work out. Ben's family released things, which is why Bessa became public. Jill at some point pointed out she was able to keep hers a secret. So I don't think they want to announce them until engagement is almost a given.

I just get the feeling they met before we saw them meet in Nepal. I think it's a good story of the tv show. Jill was far more comfortable with Derick than Jessa was with Ben and I don't think it has strictly to do with their personalities.

[snuggles911]

I hope Derrick convinces Jill to leave her cult behind. Once she's married she should live her own life not the life her parents want. Secretly hope one of the Duggar kids turn against their cult. I've heard many stories of people who attended fundie college and grow up in the fundie lifestyle and it made them turn against their parents and everything they believed in.

I'm sure she'll relax her views after spending a few months with Derrick and his family. I don't see her turning against her beliefs, but maybe she'll start listening to contemporary Christian music, watching some television, and wearing a pair of capris once in a while.

Derrick seems like a fun guy and he's obviously in love with her. I hope that he will continue to faun over her and that they'll have a happy life together.

[ariel9]

Looking at the episode from Tuesday, I could understand why Ben and Jessa were so awkward. It is beyond obvious that they want to bang each other...

[SquirrelySquirrel]

I think Derick is just a really mellow, laid-back kind of guy who will follow Jill's lead on what she's comfortable with. It will be good for her to be able to examine her family's beliefs, and have a supportive partner if/when she decides to do things differently.

It's pretty obvious that he's not been exposed to the courtship way of things. I also think they were courting before she went to Nepal.

When the ISB has a full tank and won't let me off, I wonder if she found him first, through no help of Boob, and decided for herself that she wanted to pursue something and the family didn't approve of someone so worldly. Then they spun the whole "prayer partner" story to make it look like she was being a good little Gothard girl. Or maybe he did ask Boob to be his prayer partner, but let's face it, what kind of partner would he really be? I can't see him devoting a lot of time to it.

Jill is a bright young woman, and I have no trouble her imagining her doing whatever needs to be done to get what she wants. My hope is that she purposely chose someone who's educated and has been out in the world because that's really the life she wants for herself. She's been exposed to plenty of married couples through her midwife training, and surely she's noticed that the ones who live a bit more liberal lifestyle than she has are still very good people and hopefully doesn't think they're going to burn in hell because they wear pants, or dated, or whatever. I look forward to seeing where her story goes. She's the only adult child I have any hope for at this point.

[Becket70]

I know this is off topic but I am curious to know if Jim Bob or the Mrs. have ever done jury duty. I ask because I am currently on a panel and have been called over a dozen times and have served on 7 juries. The case I am currently being considered for (and praying to any diety who will listen to keep me off the jury) is for human trafficking for the purposes of prostitution. One of the questions we were asked on the seven page form we filled out was regarding how we would feel about hearing sexual terms in court. I'm sure JB or Michelle's head would explode at this point. Surely in all their adult years they have been contacted for jury service. My guess is that neither side would want them but I would love to hear what they would say during Voire Dire. (I don't know if that is spelled right)

[ariel9]

I'm sure she'll relax her views after spending a few months with Derrick and his family. I don't see her turning against her beliefs, but maybe she'll start listening to contemporary Christian music, watching some television, and wearing a pair of capris once in a while.

Derrick seems like a fun guy and he's obviously in love with her. I hope that he will continue to faun over her and that they'll have a happy life together.

Once she seees how comfy sweatpants are theres no going back!

[FJismyheadship]

So lets lock Ben and Jessa in a nice hotel room for 24 hours with a fridge full of food so they don't starve and let them have at it. If they don't do anything, that's their choice and they made it (although their parents wouldn't believe they didn't) If they do, then they can decide whether or not to continue the relationship.

[for_the_Kitties]

My middle name is Michelle and my fiance's is Michael. Interesting parallel. Also our personalities are very much like Jill and Derrick. In fact, I feel that Jill will be the first to escape fundie-ism because I see so much of myself in her.

If she were in any other family she would be studying to be a doctor. She has the personality for it, and she's clearly passionate. Unfortunately medicine got to be too much for me so I'm taking a year off to re-evaluate my life and plan my wedding. Not sure if my decision to pursue medicine was because I really wanted to or loved the idea of doing the ultimate girl-power job that shocks my parents the most and proves everyone I grew up with wrong in their estimation of what a woman can do.

Anyway, I hope Derick's headship will direct Jill to college. I wouldn't be surprised if he does but I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't.

Jill?... Is that you?....

[Georgiana]

Once she seees how comfy sweatpants are theres no going back!

Or yoga pants! Comfy and flattering to the feminine figure!

Honestly, I am basically dresses/skirts only because of personal comfort and taste, but I make exceptions for yoga pants!

[MrsYoungie]

I know this is off topic but I am curious to know if Jim Bob or the Mrs. have ever done jury duty. I ask because I am currently on a panel and have been called over a dozen times and have served on 7 juries. The case I am currently being considered for (and praying to any diety who will listen to keep me off the jury) is for human trafficking for the purposes of prostitution. One of the questions we were asked on the seven page form we filled out was regarding how we would feel about hearing sexual terms in court. I'm sure JB or Michelle's head would explode at this point. Surely in all their adult years they have been contacted for jury service. My guess is that neither side would want them but I would love to hear what they would say during Voire Dire. (I don't know if that is spelled right)

I see your off topic and raise you one.

Your jury experience fascinates me. Here in Canada they can't ask you questions beyond your name, age, and occupation. The only time I was called I sat through the selection process a few times. (I was never pulled out of the drum) There was one case where a defendant had an American lawyer for some reason. It was quite amusing. He kept asking the judge for permission to question the potential juror to determine any prejudices and the judge would say "do you have any reason to suspect they have more prejudices than anyone else?" The lawyer had to admit he didn't and the judge would refuse to let him ask anything.

The American system where they know everything about the jurors and ask (seriously? 7 pages??) so many questions is just asking for abuse.

[Georgiana]

My middle name is Michelle and my fiance's is Michael. Interesting parallel. Also our personalities are very much like Jill and Derrick. In fact, I feel that Jill will be the first to escape fundie-ism because I see so much of myself in her.

If she were in any other family she would be studying to be a doctor. She has the personality for it, and she's clearly passionate. Unfortunately medicine got to be too much for me so I'm taking a year off to re-evaluate my life and plan my wedding. Not sure if my decision to pursue medicine was because I really wanted to or loved the idea of doing the ultimate girl-power job that shocks my parents the most and proves everyone I grew up with wrong in their estimation of what a woman can do.

Anyway, I hope Derick's headship will direct Jill to college. I wouldn't be surprised if he does but I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't.

I can definitely see Derick going the Chad Paine route of supporting and encouraging Jill to keep achieving and pursuing her dreams. I do think, however, that they'll need a distancing from the Duggars or removal from the spotlight before Jill would feel comfortable doing this. I always thought that Jill had a particularly close bond with JB, and I don't see her openly rebelling if she thinks it will hurt her family. I think she'll make her changes quietly and possibly toe the party line for a few years until the spotlight has faded.

P.S. Good luck planning your wedding! I'm going back to school for something completely different than what I originally graduated in (luckily I have a job that will pay for this), so I totally understand that sometimes things look great on paper, but practicing in real life is a different story. I'm sure you'll find your way and be absolutely excellent at whatever you decide to do!

[jerkit]

See I think Jill and Derrick are burning in their loins for each other.

[Essentially Oiled]

Here's my take on the two suitors in two short

sentences:

Derick is a man.

Ben is a boy.

[Becket70]

I see your off topic and raise you one.

Your jury experience fascinates me. Here in Canada they can't ask you questions beyond your name, age, and occupation. The only time I was called I sat through the selection process a few times. (I was never pulled out of the drum) There was one case where a defendant had an American lawyer for some reason. It was quite amusing. He kept asking the judge for permission to question the potential juror to determine any prejudices and the judge would say "do you have any reason to suspect they have more prejudices than anyone else?" The lawyer had to admit he didn't and the judge would refuse to let him ask anything.

The American system where they know everything about the jurors and ask (seriously? 7 pages??) so many questions is just asking for abuse.

Sadly, the lawyers can drill us like we were the ones on trial. We were told that on Monday we would be called to the jury box and asked questions about our answers. I am pretty nervous about it, too. Some questions were simple like asking if you know anyone in the prostitution business (I don't) but others were wanting detailed answers regarding how we feel about prostitution being a crime, our initial reaction to hearing what the crime was, etc. The judge told us that it would be considered perjury if we didn't answer honestly. The system really is a nightmare. I envy you in Canada for your system and because Lake Louise is in your country. Love Lake Louise.

[elsabee]

Here's my take on the two suitors in two short

sentences:

Derick is a man.

Ben is a boy.

Exactly.

[Jana814]

See I think Jill and Derrick are burning in their loins for each other.

I think u r right!

[leftcoastmama]

Jill?... Is that you?....

lol. I'm not snarking at all when I ask you but what of Jill that you have seen makes you so certain she has the aptitude to be a medical doctor?

[leftcoastmama]

I find it funny how 90% of posters have decided Derrick and Jill are a great match and will break free from fundiedom.

I admit that I can say that they won't. I just don't understand where the positivity comes from.

Is it being hopeful?

Is it because we've essentially relegated them to characters and in the American story tradition ( sorry to the non American posters) we have to have a good guy or underdog to root for?

Is it because like Chad and Erin they are young and attractive and come across as more personable than other fundies young couples?

[sunshine]

UPDATE: A rep for Jessa and Ben has confirmed to HollywoodLife.com that the couple are NOT engaged. They are still just courting!

http://duggars.tumblr.com/

[FloraDoraDolly]

I find it funny how 90% of posters have decided Derrick and Jill are a great match and will break free from fundiedom.

I admit that I can say that they won't. I just don't understand where the positivity comes from.

Is it being hopeful?

Is it because we've essentially relegated them to characters and in the American story tradition ( sorry to the non American posters) we have to have a good guy or underdog to root for?

Is it because like Chad and Erin they are young and attractive and come across as more personable than other fundies young couples?

I can't see Jill and Derick breaking from evangelical Christianity, but I do think Jill will break away from Gothard/ATI/Quiverfull since Derick does not come from that background. Wherever they end up on the religious/political spectrum, I don't see them stepping into Jim Bob and Michelle's shoes. Jill will raise her own kids herself; she won't make her older daughters into sister-moms. Also, both Jill and Derick are more educated than Jim Bob and Michelle and I don't see them banning college. On a similar note, I wouldn't be surprised if Josh's kids end up going to college when they come of age.

And yes, I do root for Jill. I don't share many of her views, but deep down I think her heart is in the right place. She has managed, within the confines of her upbringing, to carve out a decent young adult life for herself. She could have resigned herself to staying at home and taking care of her mother's children for the next umpteen years like so many other stay-at-home-daughters, but instead she got an education, a job, and a man.

I see Erin Bates in a similar light. She worked hard teaching music lessons and graduated from college. Yes, it's a Christian college, but in Gothard/ATI even Christian schools are ebil. Any time any of these young adults do anything to overcome their crazy cult childhoods, of course I am going to root for them.

[JordynDarby5]

The full-frontal hug makes me hopeful. But I'm hoping Jill breaks from Fundie land so she can come a real midwife like she wants and have the life she wants and not the one her parents picked out for her.

[KSmom]

I am just watching the last episode and here are my thoughts:

1 - JimBoob, you are an idiot, the girls courting should not be a major stress for the parents. Maybe if you let them act like adults and make their own relationship decisions it would be less stressful for you.

2 - Michelle, this a highlight of Jill's life? You say this like you are surprised by it. You are just clueless not only about your individual kids but about real life in general.

3 - Jill was adorable being so excited and wanting to be on time, and she should be!! But, where were the parents getting all of those kids ready? She should be able to be allowed to indulge herself a bit here, not be responsible for what the parents should be doing.

4 - The hug, it was sweet and natural and completely appropriate! I like Jinger's comment that she understood how they had been waiting to see other so long and just naturally front hugged, those girls have more of a clue than their parents.

5 -Michelle says she thinks Derick was probably in culture shock because of the HUGE group of people, well duh, why didn't you think of that before and leave them home!

6 - Michelle, could your laugh be anymore irritating?

7 - My husband would just die if we dressed matching all the time (or even once), why is this a thing?

8 - I like Derick's TH, he manages to be respectful of this craziness, but at the same time you can see that he thinks it is a bit ridiculous.

9 - I officially hate the words precious and sweet, and why did JB have to say "I wish I had thought of it"? He is an attention whore.

10 - That triple date was so incredibly awkward, JimBoob and Michelle do not at all know how to just be with their kids and enjoy their company.

11 - The two couples are cute together, and I suspect much more at ease with each other off camera and away from their parents.

12 - Ben and Derick did seem to have an easy report with each other, which will be good for Jill and Jessa in the future. It would be great for Ben to take some cues from Derick.

13 - Wow, those girls are clueless on how to get an edible dinner on the table, major fail on Michelle. I have a feeling that she not only hasn't spent the time to teach them but was a lousy example to follow after too.

14 - Ben was totally going for the kiss on Jessa's head (and he should have!!!)

15 - Jinger and especially Jessa don't seem to be too cocerned about the chewy steak, I love it!

16 - Michelle has such a crazy look on her face so much of the time, like she has spent so much time trying to have the proper "countenance" that she can't be natural anymore.

17 - The little ones singing Jesus Loves Me was like a bunch of preschoolers would do in a program, not a bunch of 4-9 year old. Not impressed, that is all they are capable of?

18 - Have i mentioned how much I hate Michelle's laugh?

19 - I love Jinger's facial expressions during the TH, she clearly knows that this is all nothing but BS.

20 - Please just let Jessa and Ben kiss!!!