Alyssa Bates and John Webster Engagement (now confirmed)

[artdecades]

How sad with all the wonderful restaurants at Disney World available to them he took her to Ruth Chris steak house. These people must be really sheltered.

For someone who hasn't followed the Bates as much as some on here I can't believe how much these girls all look like each other.

I agree that Ruth's Cris is not really a great steak house, but it's still better than the Arndts trip to Red Lobster because it reminds them so much of Maine.

[sunshine]

Alyssa is vocal compared to the other kids.

[uber frau]

Does anyone know if the Wissman/Beasley/Grady group are ATI. The wedding pics from Joe and Rachel Beasley's wedding showed them and guests dancing at the reception. And it didn't appear to be 1800s ballroom dancing like some if them are into.

I'm pretty sure they aren't ATI. IBLP is fundy Baptist (as much as they pretend not to be) and fundy Baptists consider dancing to be a SIN. IBLP still pushes the message that all contemporary music is sinful as well.

A really old joke: Why do Baptists believe premarital sex is wrong? Because it might lead to dancing.

It's an exaggeration, but only a slight one.

[Georgiana]

I'm sort of shocked she's using TheKnot.com for her wedding site. I mean, it's a great idea, and The Knot has a lot of resources for brides to be, but it's just so....secular!

All these fundie weddings, and I don't think I've seen one of them use The Knot before!

[formergothardite]

PLEASE I hope they decide to dance! I'm still waiting for an ATI couple to rebel & have their 1st dance for all to see. Vision Forum folks go to balls and dances all the time. It might be old Victorian style stuff, but at they do dance a little.

Not going to happen. :lol: Dancing in a sin and any music that you could dance to is also a sin according to Gothard.

I really need to take dancing lessons because having not ever been allowed to dance and being discouraged to bop around to songs as a child killed any natural dance instincts I had and I cannot dance at all. Even slow dancing makes me feel all panicking because I have no rhythm or sense of coordination. My one trip to a Zumba class was the most humiliating thing I have done in my life. I just flailed around because I don't know what to do with my arms and legs. :lol:

[ILoveJellybeans]

Does anyone know if the Wissman/Beasley/Grady group are ATI. The wedding pics from Joe and Rachel Beasley's wedding showed them and guests dancing at the reception. And it didn't appear to be 1800s ballroom dancing like some if them are into.

The Grady's follow(ed) Vision Forum, so I presume the others do too?

[singsingsing]

Not sure about other fundies but Erin and Zach both used The Knot for their wedding websites.

[anjulibai]

Kelly finally did a post about the engagement. Nothing added that isn't on Alyssa and John's website.

[0 kids n not countin]

As per Kelly:

John is 24. Alyssa is 19. They will live in Orlando. Alyssa stopped college classes this semester to plan for the wedding. I doubt she’ll finish since she has new goals! John works for his family’s air conditioning business. Love, Kelly

Sad, just sad.... :roll:

Now that she has a husband no need for college. :angry-banghead: :angry-banghead: :wtf:

[anjulibai]

Man that is sad.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Alyssa, don't throw it all away just for a wedding. Finish what you started, you will be so much more better off for it. Even if after you have kids you decide to stay at home, at least finish college so you do have something to fall back on if the worst happens, and even just to say you accomplished something and didn't give up.

[lilith]

Alyssa, don't throw it all away just for a wedding. Finish what you started, you will be so much more better off for it. Even if after you have kids you decide to stay at home, at least finish college so you do have something to fall back on if the worst happens, and even just to say you accomplished something and didn't give up.

And so you'll be able to homeschool adequately. I know she was going to a fundie college, but even that must be an improvement on Kelly's SOTDRT.

[xReems]

I honestly wonder if Alyssa had the desire to go to college. I have friends who attended college out of "society pressure" but never finished it because their hearts weren't in it. I wonder if Alyssa is the same-that her main goals are just to be married, be a wife, and mother. There is nothing wrong with not going to college, as long as you have skills needed to survive in the world. I have a cousin who dropped out of college, only to open up his own business which is doing very well. Right now, Alyssa does not have any skills that will guarantee she'll manage to be on her own, should something happen to John or if he has an injury in which he cannot work for a while.

It bothers me that these girls are trained to only look forward to being married and that planning a wedding calls for grounds to drop out. There is so much more to life than just waiting for Prince Charming and planning your wedding.

I have a boyfriend of 6 years and people have been on our backs, asking when that big day will happen. Even though I want to take that next step, I told him that I want to wait until I am employed and can bring in money from my side instead of just living on his paycheck, which would have been pretty difficult. I've seen my parents financially struggle when I was little and it was tough, which is why I want to make sure my boyfriend and I don't go through that stress.

I hope that once Alyssa moves to Orlando, she gains work skills that will benefit her in the future, whether it's working at some company or finishing up college. Then again, even if she does restart that path, it'll be put on hold again when she announces she's pregnant.

[HereticHick]

I also get the feeling that Alyssa wasn't that in to college. And she had been working part-time at a florist, according to Kelly.

This is the Webster family air conditioning business, by the way: www.websterac.com/

[lizziesmom]

I thought I was the worst dancer on the planet. I can get up in front of hundreds of people and talk but put me in front of four or six couples with me trying to dance and I become the most self conscious human being present. I just don't like any part of it.

[Pretzel]

I think the one really into college is Erin. She seems more like a perfectionist who is going to finish what she started. I could see Alyssa trying college and deciding that it really isn't for her. Not everyone needs to go to college.

Besides: Who here would choose Clown College over the fun of planning a wedding? I'd go with the wedding before I ever sat a foot in CC.

[doubleT]

What does John's older brother, Jordan, the one who also just got engaged, do for a living? I ask because the ring he gave his fiancé Olivia was really pretty.

[Tangy Bee]

Not going to happen. :lol: Dancing in a sin and any music that you could dance to is also a sin according to Gothard.

I really need to take dancing lessons because having not ever been allowed to dance and being discouraged to bop around to songs as a child killed any natural dance instincts I had and I cannot dance at all. Even slow dancing makes me feel all panicking because I have no rhythm or sense of coordination. My one trip to a Zumba class was the most humiliating thing I have done in my life. I just flailed around because I don't know what to do with my arms and legs. :lol:

You mean to tell me that these folks don't dance because the almighty Gothard said it's a sin?? Where in the Bible does it say dancing is a sin? I guess I'll just google that myself to see. I just can't believe there are several fundie populations who don't dance because...some old, virgin dude says so.

[GeoBQn]

I always wonder what these fundies say about the part in Ecclesiastes about there being "a time to dance." Are they saying that "never" counts as a time?

[uber frau]

I think the one really into college is Erin. She seems more like a perfectionist who is going to finish what she started. I could see Alyssa trying college and deciding that it really isn't for her. Not everyone needs to go to college.

Besides: Who here would choose Clown College over the fun of planning a wedding? I'd go with the wedding before I ever sat a foot in CC.

In this instance, the only thing finishing 'college' would achieve would be a big debt and a useless piece of paper. Even among unaccredited fundie 'colleges', Clown is useless. At least BJU and PCC have a department or two that pretend to teach skills and have diplomas that can be helpful in getting a job (albeit a crappy, low paid one).

Having the option to teach at an Abeka/BJU school, or to work in a nursing home isn't exactly the foundation for a brilliant career, but at least it's something. A Clown College diploma wouldn't even have earned that.

[Tangy Bee]

Man that is sad.

Try to look on the brighter side of a "few" things. He is a virgin, well sure looks like one. Lives in a warmer part of the country. Has a job and a RICH pop who I'm sure has a lot of RICH friends. That means nice wedding presents. But to be serious...I really hope he can afford to support a large family. Cost of living is not cheap in Orlando because it's a tourist area.

[anjulibai]

Try to look on the brighter side of a "few" things. He is a virgin, well sure looks like one. Lives in a warmer part of the country. Has a job and a RICH pop who I'm sure has a lot of RICH friends. That means nice wedding presents. But to be serious...I really hope he can afford to support a large family. Cost of living is not cheap in Orlando because it's a tourist area.

The family business has been around for a while, I think they'll do okay.

But I can't get over giving up college for the type of marriage they will have. They could wait for her to finish, but no, have to get married now.

I don't know. It just seems....sad.

[marmalade]

He's 24. Does anyone know if HE went to college? I know they're ATI, but maybe not that hardcore - although that said, Gothard loves to cozy up to his Tea Party politicians every chance he gets.

[RosyDaisy]

Southern Baptists as a whole don't believe that dancing, music with a beat, and alcohol are sins. Abortion and LGBT are another story. Many SBs are conservative to fundie-lite. It depends on the individual congregation. Also IFBs aren't part of the SBC.

[Justme]

He services air conditioners in Florida! As long as they are certified and have the proper licenses, they'll be fine!