Alyssa Bates and John Webster Engagement (now confirmed)

[SpeshulTaterTot]

I'm glad she has fun colors! I don't know about her stuff being particularly young, a friend and her husband in their mid-30's just bought a house and their bedroom is bright turquoise. And then there's 35-year-old me with my red and white polka dot kitchen... :wink-kitty:

I do hope there'll be a livestream of the wedding.

[nausicaa]

I'm glad she has fun colors! I don't know about her stuff being particularly young, a friend and her husband in their mid-30's just bought a house and their bedroom is bright turquoise. And then there's 35-year-old me with my red and white polka dot kitchen... :wink-kitty:

I do hope there'll be a livestream of the wedding.

ZOMG--I would be on that like the royal wedding!

I joined FJ too late to partake of any of the live streamed weddings and fundie Fridays, and I feel cheated.

[HereticHick]

I'd rather live with Alyssa's decor that sister Erin's Strawberry Shortcake-fever dream bedroom

[Ralar]

It seems they are in love with weddings and not actual relationships. Why do the need to have 500 plus guests? I think that is less than modest. They may be better off having a small party of like under 50 and save the money. For myself, we had a wedding at my parents house with around 30 guests. I couldn't even think of 500 people to invite.

Sometimes the parents want to have a big wedding celebration. When I got married, I mentioned to my sister that I'd prefer to forgo a large wedding and use some of the money that would have gone towards the wedding for house down payment. My sister said she told my father the same thing when she got married and he said the money was for a wedding, not a house. But, my family is more affluent than your average fundy family. My parents paid for college for 3 kids, grad school for 2 kids, 2 weddings, and gave sizeable gifts towards our homes. Note: I did not have to have a large wedding, I just could not use the "wedding money" for anything else.

I suspect that in this case (and many fundy girls), she has been raised to believe that her wedding day is the culmination of everything she's lived for. Babies are important, but when you pop them out by the dozen, no individual baby is as important as the wedding day.

[freethemall]

I have a feeling some of those pink/red items are actually much girlier looking in person and are just as bad as Erin's - I'm doubtful of the "fuchsia" description of the bedspreads in particular. Seems like while Erin is expressing her decor style in a way that a 6 year old girl might, Alyssa is doing it in a way that maybe an 11 year old might, especially with that shag pillow. I look lots of color and patterns too, but her taste is a far cry from that of a mature married woman.

[Coconut Flan]

:o Since Erin isn't a mature woman, I have to still give her a pass.

[pega127]

I have a feeling some of those pink/red items are actually much girlier looking in person and are just as bad as Erin's - I'm doubtful of the "fuchsia" description of the bedspreads in particular. Seems like while Erin is expressing her decor style in a way that a 6 year old girl might, Alyssa is doing it in a way that maybe an 11 year old might, especially with that shag pillow. I look lots of color and patterns too, but her taste is a far cry from that of a mature married woman.

That is because she is not a "mature, married woman". Alyssa is young and will be a " newly married woman". She has never had to opportunity to decorate her own room; never mind a home. This is her taste and I'm sure she is super excited about her wedding and new life! Allow her time to have fun and enjoy being a new bride:)

[lilith]

That is because she is not a "mature, married woman". Alyssa is young and will be a " newly married woman". She has never had to opportunity to decorate her own room; never mind a home. This is her taste and I'm sure she is super excited about her wedding and new life! Allow her time to have fun and enjoy being a new bride:)

Agreed. It's bad enough she's going to be married by 19 and a mother by 20 without having had a chance for life experience and self development. Let's not sentence her to premature middle age too.

I married my ex husband at 21, he was 34, and he was both proud of and embarrassed by our age difference, depending on the circumstances. He strongly encouraged/coerced me to dress and act older than my age, and now I am actually in my 30s I regret not getting the most out if my 20s. I'm never going to look that good again or be experiencing things for the first time again.

[Jessica]

You all would hate my house. ;)

[Aurora rising]

I´m a married mid-30th woman - and I love bright colors. Guess I´m very immature then (and my husband as well...). :D

[Marilla-Cuthbert2013]

The turquoise and bright pink hurt my eyes, but who am I to judge. We painted our dining room to match our wedding china.

[uber frau]

:o Since Erin isn't a mature woman, I have to still give her a pass.

I took the comment about Alyssa not having the tastes of a mature, married woman to be a dig at Kelly. She has made a number of remarks about how grown up and mature her children are, despite their age. It's completely reasonable for 24 year old, newly moved out Zach to expext ppl to vote him in as mayor, or for barely adult Alyssa to be married. They're both just SO much more mature than those heathen, college educated young ppl who grew up in an average, heathen household.

[nausicaa]

I took the comment about Alyssa not having the tastes of a mature, married woman to be a dig at Kelly. She has made a number of remarks about how grown up and mature her children are, despite their age. It's completely reasonable for 24 year old, newly moved out Zach to expext ppl to vote him in as mayor, or for barely adult Alyssa to be married. They're both just SO much more mature than those heathen, college educated young ppl who grew up in an average, heathen household.

I took the comment as a remark about the girls ages and lack of experience upon marriage, and how weddings become their prom/college dorm/graduation all wrapped up into one big party--except there's permanent (in their culture) consequences to what they've committed themselves to.

I know there are people who just happen to like pink and bright colors and it's not a reflection of their maturity, but if you're recreating your dream bedroom from when you were ten, you're talking about your wedding decorations like a sixteen year old on prom committee, and your registry looks like a college dorm wish list, maybe that's another manifestation of how they are really not ready for marriage? Don't get me wrong, I totally understand why the women do this, but it's just another sign to me of how messed up the whole fundie homeschool to courtship culture is.

[freehannie]

I think part of the marrying young is that within this culture, marriage is THE route to adulthood. Even if they go to college or work full-time, they still have to live at home with their parents and be chaperoned for everything. The only way out is marriage. I would have married young in that environment. Better to have one person to compromise with and have some privacy than deal with an entire clan in your business. I however would not have immediately commenced with the baby-making.

I suspect Alyssa will really enjoy not living hand to mouth since the air conditioning business seems more profitable than Gil's tree business. Also Orlando will probably seem like an exciting metropolis with loads to do. Hopefully his family will give them some space to create a life that works for them.

[freethemall]

I took the comment about Alyssa not having the tastes of a mature, married woman to be a dig at Kelly. She has made a number of remarks about how grown up and mature her children are, despite their age. It's completely reasonable for 24 year old, newly moved out Zach to expext ppl to vote him in as mayor, or for barely adult Alyssa to be married. They're both just SO much more mature than those heathen, college educated young ppl who grew up in an average, heathen household.

Thank you. I'm the one who made the "mature woman" comment and that's basically what I meant, which is that Kelly (and maybe fundies in general?) make it out that these young people go from being sheltered boys and girls who can't go anywhere without a chaperone to full grown adults overnight who know better than the rest of us and all of a sudden serve as shining examples of successful marriage, adulthood, and then parenthood. I by no means think Alyssa is actually a mature woman, I just feel like kind of bad that Erin's ultra-pink bedroom has been mercilessly snarked on versus Alyssa's registry has received lots of compliments, when for all we know it's all going to look just as girly and childish as Erin's.

[nokidsmom]

I think part of the marrying young is that within this culture, marriage is THE route to adulthood. Even if they go to college or work full-time, they still have to live at home with their parents and be chaperoned for everything. The only way out is marriage. I would have married young in that environment. Better to have one person to compromise with and have some privacy than deal with an entire clan in your business. I however would not have immediately commenced with the baby-making.

I suspect Alyssa will really enjoy not living hand to mouth since the air conditioning business seems more profitable than Gil's tree business. Also Orlando will probably seem like an exciting metropolis with loads to do. Hopefully his family will give them some space to create a life that works for them.

To the bolded: agree with this and even in non-fundie families where religious parents insist on maintaining control over adult children as if they are still kids, marriage is often the way out. I was one who did marry fairly early (well, 24 compared to my sisters at 32 and 34) and while Mr. No was Mr. Right, I will admit it was a way out. Better to live out my 20's with him than wither at home under parental control like my sisters did. And consider Sarah Maxwell.

I do think Alyssa is going to find living in Florida a hell of a lot more fun not to mention she will be materially better off compared to being supported by a lazy dad who grifts from others and has to depend on his grown son (yes, Gil depending on Lawson's income and pressuring people for deals and donations when he is capable of doing more to support his own family himself just galls me, but I digress). At least she will have a husband who actually makes a living.

[lizziesmom]

I think part of the marrying young is that within this culture, marriage is THE route to adulthood.

and the best opportunity to move into a bedroom you only have to share with your spouse and maybe a baby instead of being stacked by cord wood in rooms with the same sex sibs.

[love2scrap]

On the topic of John Webster's brother, Jordan and his fiancee:

"Dwight Fredrickson is IBLP's Chief Financial Officer. His wife is Bill Gothard's niece and his daughter is engaged to marry Jordan Webster, another son of the Florida Congressman, next month."

heresyintheheartland.blogspot.sg/2014/02/who-is-institute-in-basic-life.html?m=1

Mega WTF moment. Bill Gothard's niece is the mother of Evangeline Renee and Olivia (Jordan's fiancee)

[HereticHick]

I wonder if Mr. "administrative leave" Gothard will attend either Webster son wedding this spring, and if US Rep. Daniel Webster is now willing to be seen in public/photographed with Mr. Gothard.

[BullyJBG]

I always wondered if BG had any nieces......and if any of THEM were victims too! Most interesting that Alyssa and BG's grand-niece will be SILs! Things could get VERY interesting. Between this situation, and Michaela's boyfriend working for the organization.....Yeah, wait and see. The last "scandal" only resulted in BG being gone for 17 days, and the wedding is 2 months later than that. So we'll see.

(singing) Watch and pray......(Twila Paris song)

[Mama Mia]

I took the comment as a remark about the girls ages and lack of experience upon marriage, and how weddings become their prom/college dorm/graduation all wrapped up into one big party--except there's permanent (in their culture) consequences to what they've committed themselves to.

I know there are people who just happen to like pink and bright colors and it's not a reflection of their maturity, but if you're recreating your dream bedroom from when you were ten, you're talking about your wedding decorations like a sixteen year old on prom committee, and your registry looks like a college dorm wish list, maybe that's another manifestation of how they are really not ready for marriage? Don't get me wrong, I totally understand why the women do this, but it's just another sign to me of how messed up the whole fundie homeschool to courtship culture is.

I really don't see how what colors or styles someone chooses for their home or wedding has any relation at all to if they are mature enough to be married. That's just silly. Styles and tastes vary by individual, not to mention by era. Was every woman in the mod sixties too immature because she picked out hot pink throw pillows? If she lived in a more beige era is she automatically somehow more worldly and sophisticated?

[Peas n carrots]

On the topic of Alyssa dropping out of Clown College - I truly think that if she's not into school right now, just save the money and NOT go, especially to an unaccredited school in which the degree would mean nothing.

I hope perhaps to fill her time after getting married she might enroll in a REAL school and get some kind of certification or degree. She could even start her own business...perhaps she has picked up some skills at the floral shop on how to arrange flowers. At any rate I hope she gets some kind of education while she waits for her first blessing to arrive.

[nausicaa]

I really don't see how what colors or styles someone chooses for their home or wedding has any relation at all to if they are mature enough to be married. That's just silly. Styles and tastes vary by individual, not to mention by era. Was every woman in the mod sixties too immature because she picked out hot pink throw pillows? If she lived in a more beige era is she automatically somehow more worldly and sophisticated?

Um, my very first sentence was "I know there are people who just happen to like pink and bright colors and it's not a reflection of their maturity." So yeah, I'm not saying that your taste in things dictates whether you are ready for marriage. I'm saying that the motivation behind the SAHDs' purchases shows they might not be ready for marriage.

It looks like Erin is recreating the bedroom she wanted when she was little because she never had any space of her own. I would suggest that perhaps living on her own for a few years and having that privacy and space to herself might be a better option than running to a guy and immediately popping out babies. Alyssa's teenage enthusiasm is directed to her wedding decorations when I think it might have been better directed to something like a high school prom or talent show. Then when she was planning her wedding she could focus on whether this is really the guy for her and if she is ready, rather than be distracted by the excitement of getting to wear a princess dress and come up with colors for a big party.

I know Erin living on her own and Alyssa getting to go to school and have real hobbies isn't going to happen, and that's another fault I find in the whole SAHD movement. If a grown woman with an education and independence wants a pink canopy bed and a big traditional white wedding, more power to her. But that's because she is choosing those things because she enjoys them, not because they are the only outlet for her childhood issues.

[Formosa]

John's brother Jordan and Olivia Frederickson got married March 29. This is their wedding website: livandjordan.com

There a a couple of pictures on Olivia's sister's website: evangelinerenee.blogspot.com

There are more on instagram if you check for # jandowebster

I spot Carlin and Josie Bates and Thomas Paine and his new fiancee Dakota Young!

[Tangy Bee]

John's brother Jordan and Olivia Frederickson got married March 29. This is their wedding website: livandjordan.com

There a a couple of pictures on Olivia's sister's website: evangelinerenee.blogspot.com

There are more on instagram if you check for # jandowebster

I spot Carlin and Josie Bates and Thomas Paine and his new fiancee Dakota Young!

Is Jordan older? Wow, all these older virgins getting married means there is hope for Sarah M. Olivia's dress is lovely. Seems like Princess Kate's wedding dress style has rubbed off in fundie land. Looking forward to seeing what style Alyssa will wear. Hope it's NOTHING like her sister's dress. Not saying Erin's dress is ugly. Just wishing something totally different for Alyssa :)