J'Slaves Writing a Book

[doggie]

The fear of temptation makes them super vulnerable to it. If your only solution to temptation is to avoid it when it does happen you can't deal with it and tend to give in.

[FJismyheadship]

:worship: FMJ, thank you for taking one for the team. You're an awesome and dedicated servant in Christ Free Jinger. :D

And it sounds like a really horrible book. I hope your spirit of choice is extra delicious tonight, and please don't kill yourself reading this. If it gets too bad, just stop.

There's not much content. It really is aimed towards being a self help book. There's pages upon pages of "advice" and then we get a story that covers one page. I like the stories when they come up, but I hate the fluff in between.

[lizziesmom]

Reading the summaries on here just confirms my original belief that this book is one more piece of propaganda in the Dugger machine. It might be really interesting to note contradictions in the girls' book with statements by Boob and Michelle and things seen on prior episodes though. I too, doubt that any of these kids have friends outside the cult and call the 'movie' anecdote (in Chapter 2) BS.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

Its not like they watch tv, go to public schools, or interact much with the outside world, so why would they think they were ugly? What are their parents or Gothard teaching them to create those feelings?

Two things occur to me. First there seems to be a lot of emphasis on being pretty in the Fundie world. For good reason, they have to catch a husband with their looks because their personalities are suppressed to the point of non-existent and their ability to talk about a range of interesting topics is severely curtailed by their lack of education. So to achieve their life's goal of being married and raising a family means they have to catch someone's eye with their countenance. Literally, much like Victorian heroines, their faces are their fortunes.

Second, there is a strong correlation between self-esteem in young girls and physical activities. Girls who play team sports and get regular exercise have better self images. The poor Duggar girls have had no chance to play soccer or swim or run. They've had their hands full running a large household.

[Rescinded and Mended]

"What things in our family discourage you? Clutter? Conflicts with siblings? Rules? Lack of space?"

If lack of space was really a concern for JB & M, they wouldn't segregated their children by sex and forced them to live in dormitories.

[ILoveJellybeans]

"What things in our family discourage you? Clutter? Conflicts with siblings? Rules? Lack of space?"

If lack of space was really a concern for JB & M, they wouldn't segregated their children by sex and forced them to live in dormitories.

"You should make the prayer closet bigger, I could barely move when you stuffed me, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy and James in there for three days for answering this question wrong the first time and not saying that everything is great the way it is" :lol:

[freejugar]

all these anecdotes of their "friends" seem really made up

[DuggarTime]

Two things occur to me. First there seems to be a lot of emphasis on being pretty in the Fundie world. For good reason, they have to catch a husband with their looks because their personalities are suppressed to the point of non-existent and their ability to talk about a range of interesting topics is severely curtailed by their lack of education. So to achieve their life's goal of being married and raising a family means they have to catch someone's eye with their countenance. Literally, much like Victorian heroines, their faces are their fortunes.

Second, there is a strong correlation between self-esteem in young girls and physical activities. Girls who play team sports and get regular exercise have better self images. The poor Duggar girls have had no chance to play soccer or swim or run. They've had their hands full running a large household

The Duggar girls actually seem like they get to run around and play more than most girls. The children are always running around, and they have enough kids to even have 2 teams to play sports like volleyball. Joy is a tomboy who is always doing the same sports as her brothers.

Also, there is a lot of emphasis on being pretty in the world in general, not just the Fundie world. I think the Duggar kids do have personalities, they are actually well-behaved and have pretty interesting senses of humor. I think a lot of kids nowadays are raised by television and the Duggars actually have to think of CREATIVE ways to have fun. That has a lot to do with the fact that they are well-rounded despite their close-knit upbringing.

[DuggarTime]

The Duggar parents don't just say "You can always come to us" and leave it at that. No, they are striving to keep up with their children's hearts on a daily basis, and they set aside one Saturday a month to have heart to heart family time. The kids go up to Jim Bob and Michelle's room one at a time, and the ball gets rolling. Michelle asks a million questions, and writes down all the answers.

I have to agree that most parents don't show this much involvement in their kids lives. My parents never tried to "get to know me." In addition to Michelle homeschooling, Jim-Bob works from home. They really are with their kids all day, and most parents with only a couple kids don't go out of their way to schedule "1 on 1 time" and try to get to know their kids better. I applaud this aspect of their parenting!

[gustava]

I have to agree that most parents don't show this much involvement in their kids lives. My parents never tried to "get to know me." In addition to Michelle homeschooling, Jim-Bob works from home. They really are with their kids all day, and most parents with only a couple kids don't go out of their way to schedule "1 on 1 time" and try to get to know their kids better. I applaud this aspect of their parenting!

Although I have no evidence, I doubt the the Mullet and the Boob actually do this consistently, with all the age-appropriate children. We don't see them being consistent about anything else anymore; this may have happened in the past, but I just can't see it with the Howlers.

[gustava]

The Duggar girls actually seem like they get to run around and play more than most girls. The children are always running around, and they have enough kids to even have 2 teams to play sports like volleyball. Joy is a tomboy who is always doing the same sports as her brothers.

Also, there is a lot of emphasis on being pretty in the world in general, not just the Fundie world. I think the Duggar kids do have personalities, they are actually well-behaved and have pretty interesting senses of humor. I think a lot of kids nowadays are raised by television and the Duggars actually have to think of CREATIVE ways to have fun. That has a lot to do with the fact that they are well-rounded despite their close-knit upbringing.

I think Joy has been reined in quite a bit since she hit puberty. We rarely see her with her male age mates, or being active in sports. Instead, she's the designated laundry drudge.

While I don't think all the Duggars are without a sense of humor, we don't see much of that on the show. And we've had a number of discussions about their behavior such as walking on countertops, pulling toys off shelves in stores, ignoring Jordyn......

Finally, to say they are well-rounded is simply delusional. Even though they have traveled extensively, it has been within a bubble, with interactions with other people minimized, activities scripted, and food brought from home. The older ones are undereducated, with few opportunities for learning....or for marriage. The younger ones seem to be

UN educated, with little discipline, schedule, routine, or structure in their lives.

[formergothardite]

The Duggar girls actually seem like they get to run around and play more than most girls. The children are always running around, and they have enough kids to even have 2 teams to play sports like volleyball. Joy is a tomboy who is always doing the same sports as her brothers.

Also, there is a lot of emphasis on being pretty in the world in general, not just the Fundie world. I think the Duggar kids do have personalities, they are actually well-behaved and have pretty interesting senses of humor. I think a lot of kids nowadays are raised by television and the Duggars actually have to think of CREATIVE ways to have fun. That has a lot to do with the fact that they are well-rounded despite their close-knit upbringing.

Well rounded. :lol: Really? Well rounded adults would be able to say, I want to wear pants, go to college, date a guy, get a job, move out and the list goes on. The Duggars(especially the adult daughters) can't do any of this without getting a lecture on how God will rain down destruction on them if they move outside the umbrella of protection.

[formergothardite]

I have to agree that most parents don't show this much involvement in their kids lives. My parents never tried to "get to know me." In addition to Michelle homeschooling, Jim-Bob works from home. They really are with their kids all day, and most parents with only a couple kids don't go out of their way to schedule "1 on 1 time" and try to get to know their kids better. I applaud this aspect of their parenting!

I remember the first special where it listed everything that a buddy does for their younger buddy and all I could think of was "What the hell does Michelle do?" She was only a buddy to a baby and then it was tossed off to be raised by a sister-mom. Then there was the one episode where Michelle was at home with all the little ones and struggled to handle them. It doesn't appear that she does that much homeschooling either.

[PennySycamore]

My oldest daughter did learn to pull hair. I don't know if she accidentally pulled her cousin's hair the first time she did it, but she learned really quickly that it would make Hannah squeal. She pulled Hannah's hair every time they saw each other for quite a while just for the reaction. Some babies have biting reinforced if mom overreacts rather than just unlatching the baby.

[samurai_sarah]

I have to agree that most parents don't show this much involvement in their kids lives. My parents never tried to "get to know me." In addition to Michelle homeschooling, Jim-Bob works from home. They really are with their kids all day, and most parents with only a couple kids don't go out of their way to schedule "1 on 1 time" and try to get to know their kids better. I applaud this aspect of their parenting!

Are you having a laugh? Or do we just run in very different circles? Most parents I know are very involved in their kids' lives. Mine certainly are. And they know me. I never needed a questionnaire and interview for them to know that something was wrong.

P.S.: I do realize that there are neglectful parents, but to say that "most" parents aren't as involved as the Duggars strikes me as a bit too much.

[Rachel333]

I think most parents are involved enough in their children's lives that they don't have to set apart one day a month to interview them.

[anjulibai]

I think most parents are involved enough in their children's lives that they don't have to set apart one day a month to interview them.

ITA. Most parents don't need to do that because they are talking about that stuff on a regular basis.

[doggie]

a lot of that talk is interrogation the children have to confess every thought and misdeed and every evil thought they have.

[Coconut Flan]

I would have had a revolution on my hands had I tried a monthly interrogation writing answers in a notebook.

Of course, I talked to each of my kids daily and they weren't shy about telling me what was bothering them generally.

[feministxtian]

I would and do beg my children to NOT tell me certain things...They're grown and on their own and I still know way too much about their private lives than I feel I should.

[Cleopatra7]

Are you having a laugh? Or do we just run in very different circles? Most parents I know are very involved in their kids' lives. Mine certainly are. And they know me. I never needed a questionnaire and interview for them to know that something was wrong.

P.S.: I do realize that there are neglectful parents, but to say that "most" parents aren't as involved as the Duggars strikes me as a bit too much.

The Duggars are not involved with their children's lives, at least not in the conventional sense. They micromanage the kids' lives so they remain in the Gothard bubble, but they don't know anything about the kids as individuals. I mean, JB couldn't even be bothered to change his own children's clothes and diapers when they had accidents right next to him (this has been shown more than once on the show in case you think I'm making this up). I would be surprised if JB or Michelle could even list all of their kids' birth dates without looking at a calendar, much less what their likes and dislikes are. The Duggar home is an orphanage where all the inmates happen to be related to each other.

[lillybeth]

I have to agree that most parents don't show this much involvement in their kids lives. My parents never tried to "get to know me." In addition to Michelle homeschooling, Jim-Bob works from home. They really are with their kids all day, and most parents with only a couple kids don't go out of their way to schedule "1 on 1 time" and try to get to know their kids better. I applaud this aspect of their parenting!

Jill, is that you?

[LadyPriss]

The Duggars are not involved with their children's lives, at least not in the conventional sense. They micromanage the kids' lives so they remain in the Gothard bubble, but they don't know anything about the kids as individuals. I mean, JB couldn't even be bothered to change his own children's clothes and diapers when they had accidents right next to him (this has been shown more than once on the show in case you think I'm making this up). I would be surprised if JB or Michelle could even list all of their kids' birth dates without looking at a calendar, much less what their likes and dislikes are. The Duggar home is an orphanage where all the inmates happen to be related to each other.

If anything, their orphanage life has given them the opportunity to feel like they are at summer camp and their tour bus gives them the experiences of either a rock star or hockey player. Pre-training for endless JTTHs, Alerts, and living at HQ. As for birthdates, Id be impressed if they could even say full names and the birth year without referencing something. I bet there are some fans who know much more vital statistics of those kids than the parents. It's probably part of why the adult kids arent married yet. 'Shucks Jana, we didn't even realize you were 24!'

[16strong]

If anything, their orphanage life has given them the opportunity to feel like they are at summer camp and their tour bus gives them the experiences of either a rock star or hockey player. Pre-training for endless JTTHs, Alerts, and living at HQ. As for birthdates, Id be impressed if they could even say full names and the birth year without referencing something. I bet there are some fans who know much more vital statistics of those kids than the parents. It's probably part of why the adult kids arent married yet. 'Shucks Jana, we didn't even realize you were 24!'

My own dad forgot how old I was recently and there are only two of us, not 19. Seriously, if Boob and Mullet remember the full names and birthdays of more than 5 kids, I'll be really surprised. And ditto about the fans. There are some crazy leg-humpers out there.

[roddma]

Grandpa Duggar was not a spiritual man. Because of this, they were poor, had the utilities shut off a lot, and he had a bad attitude. Grandma Duggar is an angel who taught Jim Bob and Deanna all about Jesus. Jim Bob said he tried to take his dads good qualities, his good salesmanship and his giving heart, but leave out the bad. He also looked up to Godly men in church.

I get irate when they speak of Grandpa Duggar in such a way. What was the 'bad attitude' Jim Bob speaks of? I did read Jim Bob though Grandap D was an angry man. So what if he's a poor financial managers or got angry at times? If that's the only bad qualities, Jim Bob was a lucky kid. Plenty of richer people have abused their kids physically and emotionally. Jim Bob needs to shut up already.