M is for Mama 17

[SuperNova]

On 4/9/2024 at 7:44 PM, Xan said:

I love quilts.  I've made a lot of quilts.  Would I wear this coat?  No.  Why?  For the same reason that I don't wear a jacket made out of bathmats or a coat made out of a chenille bedspread.

Hard is the not same thing as bad.  Also, a different, trendy style is not the same thing as flattering.

I quilt but my main love is making clothes and soft sculpture. I'm also heavily into collecting MCM. A few years ago I bought a chenille bedspread that had a few holes along one edge and I had the bright idea to make what I call my deep winter jammie set from it. I traced the pattern pieces onto the fabric, then hand picked all the chenille fluff from the seam allowance before sewing it up. I even lined it in flannel. Its very warm and cozy and the chenille is just worn enough that it's not stiff. I would never let anyone see me in it, though. It's beyond silly looking but oh so toasty. 

Abbie's coat is flat out ugly and the trend of repurposed quilt coats has been over for quite awhile now, not that she needs to dress on trend but her coat isn't even stylish or as you said, flattering. I'm all about everyone wearing what they want and that extends to everyone, including Abbie. She called her style choice non-moral before climbing on her soapbox to talk about Jesus and scold people. Abbie's rule only extends to her because she would be the first person in line to talk shit about a woman wearing a sexy outfit. 

And speaking of Abbie's well worn soapbox. 

Spoiler

This is only two of a bunch of these little slides. She's telling on herself again. Not every parent who takes the time and effort to teach their child finds it frustrating. Some of us value the process of expanding little minds. Some of us are patient with clumsy little hands learning a new task. It doesn't take ten kids to figure it out. Abbie doesn't have the right temperament to teach kids. 

[marmalade]

Yet didn't she claim to be a teacher? I bet she told rather than taught. 

[Melissa1977]

Teaching pupils and teaching their own kids is very different. Many school teachers have difficulties or frustration when teaching their own children (helping with homework or whatever). While I doubt Abbie was a good teacher in the co-op, it is enterely possible that she did a better job there than teaching at home, and I have no doubt she felt happier in the co-op, too. 

It's like being someone's boss/workmate or being your child boss/workmate. Some people work happily with relatives, but many are better workmates with strangers than with their own children.

The emotional bond and relationship (no matter if it is a beautiful bond or a toxic one or a mix) can be a difficult with teaching, working, being a doctor etc. I know some people enjoy homeschooling and does a great job, but it's not for everybody. 

[Ozlsn]

4 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I know some people enjoy homeschooling and does a great job, but it's not for everybody. 

Oh yes. If there's one thing I learned from lockdowns it is that my son learns much better from his teachers than from me (quite possibly because he listens to them) and that all of us need a break from each other in the day. How anyone manages homeschooling I don't know, i would go insane.

[JermajestyDuggar]

That’s why it was completely ridiculous when she was trying to teach her young twins to play the piano. She complained like it was torture. Yet another instance of where she had to play the martyr. Just recently she bragged about the e twins playing the piano so well and only having two years of lessons. This is many years after complaining about teaching them. So obviously she wasn’t counting her lessons that she considered torture.

[bea]

My hand to god, that woman must live in a literal bubble.  She only reads books that reinforce her existing beliefs, she only hangs out with people who have the same beliefs, she is on social media only with people who believe the same things.

My last "parenting" book was a topic where I really disagreed with the author's premise but I wanted to see what the argument for it was, and found a lot of very thought-provoking discussion on it.  It didn't change my mind, but it did give me an idea about how people reach this conclusion.

(BTW, the book was about teenagers, because I have teenagers, and I just realized I joined FJ when I was pregnant with my daughter who turns 17 this month, HOLY CRAP.)

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, bea said:

My hand to god, that woman must live in a literal bubble.  She only reads books that reinforce her existing beliefs, she only hangs out with people who have the same beliefs, she is on social media only with people who believe the same things.

My last "parenting" book was a topic where I really disagreed with the author's premise but I wanted to see what the argument for it was, and found a lot of very thought-provoking discussion on it.  It didn't change my mind, but it did give me an idea about how people reach this conclusion.

(BTW, the book was about teenagers, because I have teenagers, and I just realized I joined FJ when I was pregnant with my daughter who turns 17 this month, HOLY CRAP.)

What’s the book? Sorry I’m just curious. 

[marmalade]

7 hours ago, bea said:

My hand to god, that woman must live in a literal bubble.  She only reads books that reinforce her existing beliefs, she only hangs out with people who have the same beliefs, she is on social media only with people who believe the same things.

My last "parenting" book was a topic where I really disagreed with the author's premise but I wanted to see what the argument for it was, and found a lot of very thought-provoking discussion on it.  It didn't change my mind, but it did give me an idea about how people reach this conclusion.

(BTW, the book was about teenagers, because I have teenagers, and I just realized I joined FJ when I was pregnant with my daughter who turns 17 this month, HOLY CRAP.)

I've been around, on and off, since about the same time. I was one who didn't buy what Razing Ruth was selling. 😀

[bea]

20 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

What’s the book? Sorry I’m just curious. 

"Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety" by an author named Duffy.  I have kids with ACTUAL anxiety and a lot of the info in this book was dismissive of the fact that it's not just the age that's anxious.

[fluffernutter]

Or, you know, she could encourage them to get some higher education... that also leads to independent, skilled, self motivated children...

[JermajestyDuggar]

Braggie and a friend took a trip to NYC. They saw Hamilton. Why bother Braggie? You won’t understand the themes. You’re too bigoted and narrow minded for that. 

Edited April 14 by JermajestyDuggar

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I'm sure there will be a post about the multi-racial cast.  That doesn't resemble the historical figures they play.

[Xan]

She's said that she's grateful she took along her quilted coat from "Potter's Daughter".  It looks like it cost around $600.00.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Braggie spent $600 on herself for an ugly coat, not to mention the NYC trip and Hamilton tickets. Hmmmmmm........ I wonder who Braggie loves the best?

Could it be .......... Braggie!?!?

(I think it's Braggie.)

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Braggie spent $600 on herself for an ugly coat, not to mention the NYC trip and Hamilton tickets. Hmmmmmm........ I wonder who Braggie loves the best?

Could it be .......... Braggie!?!?

(I think it's Braggie.)

It’s really easy to look like such a sacrificial good mom when you have plenty of money. She could actually spend very little money on her kids in comparison to herself but you don’t notice. Because she spends a normal amount on money on her kids and an insane amount of money on herself. Money hides a lot of selfishness. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My best example of what I’m talking about above is like a billionaire donating $100,000 to a hospital. Everyone’s like, “omg that billionaire is so generous!” When really that’s just a literal drop in the Bucket when it comes to their wealth and they can also get tax benefits from it. So it’s not generous at all. 

[Xan]

So, this woman who is currently in NYC, who stayed in a pricey hotel, who saw "Hamilton", and is wearing a $600 coat is the same woman who ran to Walmart on Easter morning to get her kids' outfits.  Okay...  I hope Honor's white tee shirt didn't blow her budget.

[MariaariaM]

19 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

My best example of what I’m talking about above is like a billionaire donating $100,000 to a hospital. Everyone’s like, “omg that billionaire is so generous!” When really that’s just a literal drop in the Bucket when it comes to their wealth and they can also get tax benefits from it. So it’s not generous at all. 

Isn't there a parable about that? Jesus asks his disciples whose gift God would be more pleased with: a big gold coin from a rich guy or a tiny copper coin from a poor old lady. No prizes for guessing the outcome. Of course that's also how they rationalize making even the poorest of the poor tithe, so I'm not 100% impressed.

[JermajestyDuggar]

23 minutes ago, MariaariaM said:

Isn't there a parable about that? Jesus asks his disciples whose gift God would be more pleased with: a big gold coin from a rich guy or a tiny copper coin from a poor old lady. No prizes for guessing the outcome. Of course that's also how they rationalize making even the poorest of the poor tithe, so I'm not 100% impressed.

I hadn’t heard that parable before. But I’m sure it would go straight over Braggie’s head. I think I’ve read that lower class people tend to give a larger percentage of their yearly income to charity compared to rich people. A lot of rich people hoard their wealth. Braggie spends a lot so I don’t think she hoards their money. But I do think she spends a ton of money on herself and her wants compared to each child. 

Edited April 16 by JermajestyDuggar

[JermajestyDuggar]

Braggie reminds me of Jill Rod in this way. Jill spends so much money on herself while the kids get Pennie’s in comparison. If you asked Braggie how much she spends on her kids, she would probably say, “I spend so much money on my kids! We spent $50,000 on them last year.” And yes, $50,000 would be a ton of money for most families. But divide that up by 10. That’s $5,000 per kid. For food, clothing, activities, school supplies, toys, birthday and Christmas gifts, everything. Now I would love to see how much Braggie spent on herself in comparison. For her food, clothes, makeup, hair products, date nights, furniture, wallpaper, vacations, Hamilton tickets, ugly coats, etc. I bet it’s way way more than $5,000. That’s the thing. When I look at my family of 4, we actually spend more money on our kids! My kids have guitar lessons, speech therapy, theater productions, camps, new clothes and shoes all the time because they grow like crazy, fun outings to trampoline parks, birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, and so much more. 
 

Im not saying you have to spend more on your kids to be a good parent. I’m just saying that when you have too many kids, they are the ones who go without. Not the parents. Because they control the money and they will not have enough money to give every single one of those kids what they could have given them if they stuck with a more responsible number. Braggie and Jill’s priorities are way off. It’s all about them first and kids just get whatever is left over. 

[Baxter]

I spend way more on my kids than myself. I'm sure many parents do that too because kids keep growing and needing new stuff. I rarely but myself new clothes. But I'm not growing so that's fine. Every time I think I should be good for a while and not need to get anything else for the kids, one of them grows. Activities cost money. But that's ok. I love seeing my kids develop their interests. 

Now that being said, I'm not a mommy martyr. If there's something I or my husband wants, within reason, then we will try and make it happen eventually.

Our couches are seriously worn out, like there is a giant hole on part of it with a bunch of foam coming out. We spent a long time looking for the right couches and finally ordered them a few weeks ago. I'm so happy about that. My kids would rather keep the falling apart couches.

We are also getting a puppy in a few weeks. Our old dog died last August. I have a big birthday coming up and I told my husband that all I wanted was the springer spaniel puppy. My daughter is very excited about getting a new dog but we wouldn't be getting one if I hadn't felt it was the right time. 

Really my husband's and my life revolve around giving the kids a good life even if we do some things for ourselves too. Braggie's main purpose in life isn't to give her kids a good life. They are just window dressing to serve her. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, Baxter said:

I spend way more on my kids than myself. I'm sure many parents do that too because kids keep growing and needing new stuff. I rarely but myself new clothes. But I'm not growing so that's fine. Every time I think I should be good for a while and not need to get anything else for the kids, one of them grows. Activities cost money. But that's ok. I love seeing my kids develop their interests. 

Now that being said, I'm not a mommy martyr. If there's something I or my husband wants, within reason, then we will try and make it happen eventually.

Our couches are seriously worn out, like there is a giant hole on part of it with a bunch of foam coming out. We spent a long time looking for the right couches and finally ordered them a few weeks ago. I'm so happy about that. My kids would rather keep the falling apart couches.

We are also getting a puppy in a few weeks. Our old dog died last August. I have a big birthday coming up and I told my husband that all I wanted was the springer spaniel puppy. My daughter is very excited about getting a new dog but we wouldn't be getting one if I hadn't felt it was the right time. 

Really my husband's and my life revolve around giving the kids a good life even if we do some things for ourselves too. Braggie's main purpose in life isn't to give her kids a good life. They are just window dressing to serve her. 

My family was just telling me I need a new couch. But I said no way. Because the minute I get an expensive beautiful couch I love, the kids will spill something on it and I will be upset. My kids currently spill on our old beat up couch and I don’t care. I just clean it up and move on. I’m not stressed or upset with my kids. I’m a better person when I’m not worried about spills all the time. In a few years I’m sure we will get a new couch. When the boys spill less. 

[SassyPants]

18 hours ago, Xan said:

So, this woman who is currently in NYC, who stayed in a pricey hotel, who saw "Hamilton", and is wearing a $600 coat is the same woman who ran to Walmart on Easter morning to get her kids' outfits.  Okay...  I hope Honor's white tee shirt didn't blow her budget.

Wait are we talking about that quilted coat? Was that coat $600? I thought AH rarely shopped for clothing outside of Goodwill?

[MariaariaM]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I hadn’t heard that parable before. But I’m sure it would go straight over Braggie’s head.

I looked it up because I wasn't sure I wasn't making it up:

Spoiler

Mark 12:41-44

New English Translation

The Widow’s Offering

41 Then he sat down opposite the offering box, and watched the crowd putting coins into it. Many rich people were throwing in large amounts. 42 And a poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, worth less than a penny. 43 He called his disciples and said to them, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the offering box than all the others. 44 For they all gave out of their wealth. But she, out of her poverty, put in what she had to live on, everything she had.”

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Wait are we talking about that quilted coat? Was that coat $600? I thought AH rarely shopped for clothing outside of Goodwill?

Oh no her children get almost all thrifted stuff. Braggie will buy herself stuff that isn’t second hand. She buys clothes from Anthropologie. But she only posts about her Anthropologie outfits from goodwill. But she absolutely shops that store brand new.