Trace and Lydia 4: Deportation Watch

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 hours ago, HeartsAFundie said:

I'm with you on the fish and chicken.  Poultry and seafood will always be my first choices.  But there are a few times when I just want a good hamburger.   Then I cave.  I can take or leave steak.      

A couple of my girlfriends and I go out to eat a lot together. And we always talk about how we don’t understand the love for steaks. We would always choose another dish over steak any day. We just don’t see the appeal. 

[Keys]

15 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

A couple of my girlfriends and I go out to eat a lot together. And we always talk about how we don’t understand the love for steaks. We would always choose another dish over steak any day. We just don’t see the appeal. 

Yessssss. I have never liked steak. Actually don’t remember the last time I ate it; it’s probably been 10 years? I’ve never gotten the appeal haha. Especially rare/bloody 🫣

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I like steak/beef.  I could actually cut out all other meat and just eat beef occasionally, but my husband and daughter would not follow suit so I may as well eat what I cook.  I just make a lot more vegetarian meals than I used to.  I love love fish and other seafood but I feel bad about the sustainability of it so we don't eat it very often.

[rebeccawriter01]

This week's video from the couple of boredom auto played for three minutes before I realized what was going on (I was cooking). If you like drinking games but don't want to damage your liver, know that "are you ready?" is not a good phrase to use for taking a shot. Three minutes in and I counted 16 different times they asked Ryker, Kelly, and various of the left over Bates were they ready. I was ready to shut it off and did. 

I'm just putting this out there as a warning.

[Meggo]

On 12/30/2023 at 7:16 AM, Smash! said:

I find it fascinating how preferences for food change in life. There are vegetables I absolutely hated as a teen but love now. What stayed since I was a toddler is my dislike for the dairy taste. Can’t stand the smell of cheese and I detect even small amounts in a dish. Mozzarella is fine when melted on a pizza with lots of spices but everything else is vomit inducing.

My mom and I were just talking about this! My dad has dementia. He can't remember any of his kids names, can't remember most things etc. But that man has NEVER EVER forgotten how much he hates cooked vegetables. He will still pull carrots out of soup and set peppers off to the side. Can't remember how he got to where he is - but don't you dare try to sneak a carrot past him.

On 12/30/2023 at 11:59 AM, fluffernutter said:

I know I never liked vegetables as a kid. Then, I got older, and realized I didn't like the way my mom made veggies. Canned or frozen, and over boiled. Then, she would swim them in fake butter. No wonder I didn't like them! And her salads were always the same thing too- peeled cucumber, iceberg lettuce, and tomato with Kraft Italian. Roasting veggies became a game-changer for me. I love roasted veggies. And salads, I love all kinds of salads and making my own dressings too. 

Same - a lot of stuff I didn't like as a kid was a direct reaction to my mom's cooking. Chicken was done SO often in our house - it took me a while to even want to eat it. Steak was broiled till it was shoe leather. Most veggies were cooked till they were mushy (this woman COOKED sugar snap PEAS for Christmas dinner. She said "I steamed them" - but WHY?). 
I didn't know I even liked brussel sprouts until I had them roasted with parmesan. 

[Smash!]

@Meggo I‘m sorry about your dad ❤️ Your dad‘s quirk put a smile on my face hence the laughing emoji. Dementia makes a person slowly fade away. But your dad‘s distaste for cooked vegetables is still here.

[Giraffe]

19 hours ago, Meggo said:

l (this woman COOKED sugar snap PEAS for Christmas dinner. She said "I steamed them" - but WHY?). 

I recently discovered I like them steamed. But they were barely steamed! Any more and they would've been utterly inedible mush. 

[Meggo]

2 hours ago, Giraffe said:

I recently discovered I like them steamed. But they were barely steamed! Any more and they would've been utterly inedible mush. 

Lightly steamed would have been okay - but this was absolute MUSH. Pick them up with a spoon and have half the pod fall off? not necessary!

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, Meggo said:

Lightly steamed would have been okay - but this was absolute MUSH. Pick them up with a spoon and have half the pod fall off? not necessary!

Yeah, that's disgusting. 

[Expectopatronus]

@Meggo My preschooler is your dad’s opposite. She will only eat cooked carrots; raw is absolute refusal. The kid eats cherry tomatoes like they are going out of style, will sometimes eat raw cucumber, peppers and red onion and will eat cooked peas, carrots and corn. Will not even try any other vegetable. 

[WannabeHistorian]

As an autistic adult, veggies are my nemesis. Why couldn't my brain hate candy instead?!!? 

[GreenBeans]

7 minutes ago, WannabeHistorian said:

As an autistic adult, veggies are my nemesis. Why couldn't my brain hate candy instead?!!? 

I’ve read that sometimes the issue is that fresh foods aren’t as predictable. A candy bar of a specific brand? Always has the same size and texture and tastes exactly, 100% the same every time you eat it. A tomato? Comes in all kinds of sizes and colors and textures, could taste more sour or sweet, aromatic and juicy or less so etc…

[Marly]

5 hours ago, WannabeHistorian said:

As an autistic adult, veggies are my nemesis. Why couldn't my brain hate candy instead?!!? 

I have the exact same problem, and I'm also vegetarian :')
Thankfully I have no issues with meat substitutes such as Valess, Quorn, Impossible etc.. But don't give me a roasted cauliflower or celeriac 'steak' 🤢,  I can't eat that.

I'm getting treatment for Arfid next month. Arfid = Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder, many people with autism struggle with this. It doesn't have anything to do with body image issues. People with Arfid are very selective eaters because of, for instance, the structure of most foods, and a fear that something will happen when they eat certain foods. In my case, I can't eat most vegetables. I literally can't swallow them and I'm scared that I'll throw up when forced to swallow them. And the idea of having to throw up gives me really bad anxiety. As a result, eating out or over at other people stresses me out a lot, to the point that I avoid it when I can, or I make sure I eat before hand and bring snacks I can eat when I can't eat the food. 

I don't think therapy will make me love the veggies that I hate, but I hope that it will ease my anxiety a bit.
 

[Meggo]

14 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

@Meggo My preschooler is your dad’s opposite. She will only eat cooked carrots; raw is absolute refusal. The kid eats cherry tomatoes like they are going out of style, will sometimes eat raw cucumber, peppers and red onion and will eat cooked peas, carrots and corn. Will not even try any other vegetable. 

My kiddo is known for his adventurous eating - and has actually said "oooo broccoli!" on a few occasions. Here is a list of what have found he will not eat. Cooked chunky tomatoes. (tomatoes raw rarely stick around long in our house when he gets near them). Onions cooked or raw - totally fine when presented as an onion RING however. He also swears green onions are good. He won't try beets. But that's pretty much the list - everything else is acceptable. 
He'll eat all manner of potatoes, loves radishes in the summer on sliced bread with butter and salt, Tried a rutabaga at Christmas and decided we needed a different way of making it. All fruit is fine - except green melon. 

I'm fine with his eating habits - I don't quite get the onions/onion ring thing. He says he doesn't like onions RAW - which is completely fair - but he doesn't like them cooked IN things... but whatevs. 

[NoneIsEnough]

2 hours ago, Meggo said:

My kiddo is known for his adventurous eating - and has actually said "oooo broccoli!" on a few occasions. Here is a list of what have found he will not eat. Cooked chunky tomatoes. (tomatoes raw rarely stick around long in our house when he gets near them). Onions cooked or raw - totally fine when presented as an onion RING however. He also swears green onions are good. He won't try beets. But that's pretty much the list - everything else is acceptable. 
He'll eat all manner of potatoes, loves radishes in the summer on sliced bread with butter and salt, Tried a rutabaga at Christmas and decided we needed a different way of making it. All fruit is fine - except green melon. 

I'm fine with his eating habits - I don't quite get the onions/onion ring thing. He says he doesn't like onions RAW - which is completely fair - but he doesn't like them cooked IN things... but whatevs. 

I'm the same with onions. Hate them all (including green onions), but I will eat an onion ring. I think it's because it tastes more like fried breaded goodness than onion. Half the time I pull the actual onion out and just eat the ring. 

[Cupcake79]

Do you think that Lydia will start to speak German to Ryker? They keep saying that she will, but she hasn’t done that yet, except for singing German lullabies. I live in an area where it’s fairly common with families where one parent speaks one language and the other parent another, but usually they speak their own language with the child from start. And the child turns bilingual. I somehow doubt that Lydia will switch to German. Ryker does hear German at Lydia’s parents house, so he will probably understand the language, but will he speak it?

[WannabeHistorian]

On 1/26/2024 at 5:54 AM, Marly said:

I have the exact same problem, and I'm also vegetarian :')
Thankfully I have no issues with meat substitutes such as Valess, Quorn, Impossible etc.. But don't give me a roasted cauliflower or celeriac 'steak' 🤢,  I can't eat that.

I'm getting treatment for Arfid next month. Arfid = Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder, many people with autism struggle with this. It doesn't have anything to do with body image issues. People with Arfid are very selective eaters because of, for instance, the structure of most foods, and a fear that something will happen when they eat certain foods. In my case, I can't eat most vegetables. I literally can't swallow them and I'm scared that I'll throw up when forced to swallow them. And the idea of having to throw up gives me really bad anxiety. As a result, eating out or over at other people stresses me out a lot, to the point that I avoid it when I can, or I make sure I eat before hand and bring snacks I can eat when I can't eat the food. 

I don't think therapy will make me love the veggies that I hate, but I hope that it will ease my anxiety a bit.
 

Ugh, I feel this. I was routinely forced to eat vegetables as a kid, which usually resulted in me gagging and having a panic attack as a result. I would then be punished for having the panic attack. Ironically, not knowing a trigger is in a meal makes it worse. A frequent problem I had during college was a stray piece of lettuce in my quesadillas/burritos. The cheese sat right next to the lettuce at the station so it was common for a pieces of lettuce to fall in as the worker was preparing food. As soon as I got to the lettuce, my mouth would taste sour and my heart started racing. If I didn't swallow it immediately I would start gagging. It was awful. 

And I have the extra burden of PCOS meaning my carb heavy diet has caused massive weight gain that I cannot lose without torturing myself every meal. I can't get any help with it because doctors have little to no training on autism. They always assume I'm just a picky eater who refuses to change. When in reality I can't change.

[Kiki03910]

On 1/28/2024 at 12:05 AM, WannabeHistorian said:

Ugh, I feel this. I was routinely forced to eat vegetables as a kid, which usually resulted in me gagging and having a panic attack as a result. I would then be punished for having the panic attack. Ironically, not knowing a trigger is in a meal makes it worse. A frequent problem I had during college was a stray piece of lettuce in my quesadillas/burritos. The cheese sat right next to the lettuce at the station so it was common for a pieces of lettuce to fall in as the worker was preparing food. As soon as I got to the lettuce, my mouth would taste sour and my heart started racing. If I didn't swallow it immediately I would start gagging. It was awful. 

And I have the extra burden of PCOS meaning my carb heavy diet has caused massive weight gain that I cannot lose without torturing myself every meal. I can't get any help with it because doctors have little to no training on autism. They always assume I'm just a picky eater who refuses to change. When in reality I can't change.

I hope you can find a good doctor. They tend to be massively ignorant about nutrition, which is very unhelpful.

[WannabeHistorian]

1 hour ago, Kiki03910 said:

I hope you can find a good doctor. They tend to be massively ignorant about nutrition, which is very unhelpful.

I think my current doc (the one I just discovered is my cousin) is the best I'm going to get. She has acknowledged how little she knows about autism and generally takes my word for it when discussing my struggles. I'll spare you all the details, but I've had some horrible experiences with past doctors. 

Her nutritional advice has actually been very helpful, because she focuses on improving my nutrition instead of weight loss. She caught a bunch of nutritional deficiencies no one else even considered before. While things will never be perfect, I have made a ton of progress in the past year.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

@WannabeHistorian no doctor can know everything, so it is really great that she is willing to take your word for it.  So many out there dismiss what patients say with an "I know better" attitude.  Good luck with your journey.

[mango_fandango]

I have ASD (as in autism spectrum disorder) but I'm fairly lucky in that my palate is fairly wide-ranging. I don't like raw tomatoes. Tomato ketchup, soup, sauce... all fine. It's just the raw stuff. My brother is the same and he doesn't have ASD. 

[Expectopatronus]

Food aversion is real and needs to be understood. If vegetables are gag inducing for someone then they can’t simply eat them. A huge desensitization process needs to be facilitated and supported by an OT, psych etc with the knowledge that it will take months to build up tolerance of a single food. Hugs to everyone who has been forced to deal with this unsupported.

[dawbs]

21 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

I have ASD (as in autism spectrum disorder) but I'm fairly lucky in that my palate is fairly wide-ranging. I don't like raw tomatoes. Tomato ketchup, soup, sauce... all fine. It's just the raw stuff. My brother is the same and he doesn't have ASD. 

My autstic teen has NO IDEA how good she has it.  Neither of the adults in her house like tomatoes in any form that isn't 'suace' (ketchup,, check. Spaghetti sauce? check. Stewed in sauce? gagging all the way) so none of us ever buy them or put them on the table.

 

I am 100% sure that people thought I was doing wrong by her in letting her not eat stuff when she was younger. I"m sure her uncles would deny it, but, really, they were very much "she'll eat it if she's hungry enough" people.  But I am so so SO glad that I came down hard on the side of 'nobody goes to bed hungry in my house'.  I mean, her dentist might not always be thrilled, but consuming a baggie of life cereal at bedtime means you dn't go to bed hungry which is always a win when option b is 'go to bed hungry'.

(I say that also with the knowledge that kid recently tried venison steak w/ the good marinade and LOVES it and now I have to share. boo sharing!)

[WannabeHistorian]

5 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

Food aversion is real and needs to be understood. If vegetables are gag inducing for someone then they can’t simply eat them. A huge desensitization process needs to be facilitated and supported by an OT, psych etc with the knowledge that it will take months to build up tolerance of a single food. Hugs to everyone who has been forced to deal with this unsupported.

Desensitization therapy doesn't actually work on autistic people. While no one knows why exactly, I suspect it has to do with the extra synapses and neurons autistic brains have. Coupled with decreased neural pruning, it means the autistic brain is slow to change if it even can. So desensitization is just torture for many of us. The general advice I see now is to identify and avoid trigger foods to prevent meltdowns.

While I can't speak for all autistic people, desensitization will not work for me. I still have the same visceral reaction to lettuce at 26 that I did at 5. Autistic meltdowns are horrible to experience. An unhealthy diet is genuinely the lesser evil in my case. 

[Kiki03910]

12 hours ago, WannabeHistorian said:

I think my current doc (the one I just discovered is my cousin) is the best I'm going to get. She has acknowledged how little she knows about autism and generally takes my word for it when discussing my struggles. I'll spare you all the details, but I've had some horrible experiences with past doctors. 

Her nutritional advice has actually been very helpful, because she focuses on improving my nutrition instead of weight loss. She caught a bunch of nutritional deficiencies no one else even considered before. While things will never be perfect, I have made a ton of progress in the past year.

Good for you. It's all a journey. We should all probably focus on nutrition, not weight. I wish you continued success!