Maxwell 57: Planning Mary's Wedding

[byzant]

9 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

Thank you, Chelsy! 

So nice to see so many people in Maxwell-land looking genuinely happy -- Teri is positively beaming in that family photo & I really like her hair style. Steve does seem to be gritting his teeth but he *was* there & walked his daughter down the aisle. Did he attend either of the backyard get-togethers? It looks like Gigi was at the shower. Now, if Steve and Teri can just refrain from using their advice columns to take potshots and throw shade...

I really like Mary's and the bridesmaids' dresses. Anna's is not only sleeveless but has a deep vee to the back:

Chelsy says that both Sarah & Christopher did the professional photos so maybe Christopher took the ones of the ceremony since Sarah was a bridesmaid. 

 

Low back moderate neckline and they both look fabulous.  Can't believe it but so pleased for them. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Those cheese crisps look like something I'd make to go with a huge chef salad full of protein, cheese, veg, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumbers, etc etc. and a delicious dressing. Of course I'd have made at least 2-3 times that amount for the number of people.

By my count from the pic there are 10-11 cheese crisps for 6 people. And you just know that the women only got 1 crisp each.

 

 

[ClareDeLune]

2 hours ago, HoneyBunny said:

I tend to think that might be what is going on. All of them might be pregnant except Melanie. Time will tell, and hopefully Chelsy will too. 

The bolded made me properly laugh out loud 😂

[theologygeek]

Is that Abby in shorts?  

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, theologygeek said:

Is that Abby in shorts?  

It seems to me that Nathan’s girls dress pretty mainstream now. Like their aunts.

[SPHASH]

21 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It seems to me that Nathan’s girls dress pretty mainstream now. Like their aunts.

I noticed Calia was in shorts too but Lydia I think is still in LHOTP fashion 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

I noticed Calia was in shorts too but Lydia I think is still in LHOTP fashion 

 

It seems to me Chris and Anna are the only hold outs left in the family. Everyone else seems to dress mainstream. 

[Zee]

I have to say I love the idea of a pantry shower. In a world that is about “stuff” I think that makes so much sense. And with grocery prices being what they are…

[ClareDeLune]

12 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Anna3 (as in Jesse’s wife) is referred to as Tia Anna in Chelsy’s post. I wonder if all the Maxwell grandchildren use that nickname or if some do and others use another term. I remember that was one of the possibilities mentioned on the blog when it was still active.

I'd love it if Sarah and Mary's inlaws were to change their names for fun now they are incomers to a new family. Sarah Karah to match the Bollinger K theme, and Missionary Mary. 

Because I am really pleased they are happy now but good lord they changed other adult women's NAMES for decades of their lives and they need to repent! 😂

[Bethy]

19 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Except for Christopher who seems to have doubled/ tripled down on Maxhellian rules. In the photo with Anna he looks exactly like Steve, including the smile that doesn't reach his eyes.

Fearless speculation -- Christopher is beyond angry that his siblings have loosened the Maxhell strictures.  But his deep seated anger at Stevehovah for ruining his childhood/teen years/career makes him cling even tighter to the Maxhell rules.  Because if he ever acknowledges that anger he will explode at Steve.

He can't just loosen up because that means Stevehovah was wrong, completely wrong, very very very wrong. And that everything he did hurt all of his children in so many ways.  Stevehovah deliberately worked so so so hard to stunt his children. To forever trap them in a world in which they would be less than they could be. To remove all choices. To control their every thought and action. To instill fear and self-doubt and anxiety and depression and unhappiness.

Stevehovah did all this deliberately -- perhaps not out of cruelty (although I have serious doubts about that) -- but he did it.  He's still trying to control their lives, but with somewhat less success. The steel vice grip on his daughters has sprung open.

The only person still in that steel grip is Christopher.  I believe his anger is so intense it makes it impossible for him to do anything except remain in place. Forever trapped in Maxhell.

Christopher may well be mad at Steve, for the reasons you stated as well as this: if any of his siblings are getting any positive attention from Steve in spite of their worldly behavior, it undercuts how hard he has worked to earn his dad's favor. For example, if Joe gets positive attention from Steve while letting his children run around in shorts and allowing his wife to show up for a wedding in a scandalously-short (by their standards) dress, while living in a McMansion that probably has a mortgage, then what was all of Christopher's hard work and discipline for?

I know Steve has taught against allowing anyone to negatively influence one's children, not even extended family, which makes me wonder how often his kids even get to see their cousins. The divide between Christopher and the rest of his siblings keeps getting more noticeable.

[Howl]

23 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

I really like Mary's...dress...

That is an absolutely gorgeous wedding dress and I love that it has fundy-modest lace armoring in the front but it's partyyyyy in the back.  So absolutely perfect. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Bethy said:

Christopher may well be mad at Steve, for the reasons you stated as well as this: if any of his siblings are getting any positive attention from Steve in spite of their worldly behavior, it undercuts how hard he has worked to earn his dad's favor. For example, if Joe gets positive attention from Steve while letting his children run around in shorts and allowing his wife to show up for a wedding in a scandalously-short (by their standards) dress, while living in a McMansion that probably has a mortgage, then what was all of Christopher's hard work and discipline for?

I know Steve has taught against allowing anyone to negatively influence one's children, not even extended family, which makes me wonder how often his kids even get to see their cousins. The divide between Christopher and the rest of his siblings keeps getting more noticeable.

Since Nathan and Chris are the ones who live closest to Maxhell, I imagine they see eachother the most. And since Nathan’s girls all wear shorts, I hope Chris’s girls notice and question it eventually. The probably see John’s kids too. But they are just little so a baby girl wearing pants probably isn’t a big deal. 

Edited June 13, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[0 kids n not countin]

1 hour ago, Bethy said:

Christopher may well be mad at Steve, for the reasons you stated as well as this: if any of his siblings are getting any positive attention from Steve in spite of their worldly behavior, it undercuts how hard he has worked to earn his dad's favor. For example, if Joe gets positive attention from Steve while letting his children run around in shorts and allowing his wife to show up for a wedding in a scandalously-short (by their standards) dress, while living in a McMansion that probably has a mortgage, then what was all of Christopher's hard work and discipline for?

I know Steve has taught against allowing anyone to negatively influence one's children, not even extended family, which makes me wonder how often his kids even get to see their cousins. The divide between Christopher and the rest of his siblings keeps getting more noticeable.

Speaking of "extended" family, from Steve and Terry's perspectives Anna is now their only "immediate" family, Sarah and Mary are now extended family?🤔

[mango_fandango]

There were photos of Abigail, Bethany and Christina wearing jeans/knee-length shorts on the blog in the months before it stopped. 

I remember Chelsy’s wedding when the bridesmaids wore those turquoise dresses with a little grey modesty top underneath. Melanie and Elissa had theirs quite low, just enough to cover any possibly visible cleavage (they were wrap dresses which can often be a little awkward in that regard), whilst NR Anna and Sarah/Anna/Mary had theirs right up to the collarbone. 

[Bethy]

And Teri wore the same tired top she wore to Joe's wedding, Jesse's wedding, Sarah's wedding, and now Mary's wedding. (Not sure why she DIDN'T wear it to John's. Maybe the bride had a very specific color scheme?) Normally I don't get worked up about re-wearing outfits, but nothing says "I treasure my daughter on her wedding day" quite like wearing an outfit she wore to multiple other weddings over the past decade or so.

Or maybe it's skinny signaling - "I can still wear the same fitted outfit I wore to a wedding nine years ago, can you?" Given how they made a big deal in a Mother's Day post one year about how she fit back into her wedding gown only a few months after birthing #4, it might be a subtle brag. Can you imagine being in a situation where you're experiencing clinical depression, being forced to homeschool children you already can't handle, and then impregnated again for the first of you have no idea how many more times just because your husband decided that's what should happen, and possibly the best way you can earn good marks as a wife is by fitting into your wedding gown when you're just months postpartum?

[Melissa1977]

I didn't expect a naked back dress! I think the dress is beautiful, the young couple is in love and everybody (minus Steve) looked relaxed and happy. For such a depressing upbringing, the daughters have managed to shine! 

I'm sad about Anna Marie's pregnancy. If she's really healed and the pregnancy is risk-free, then ok. But I'm afraid she trusts so much in God's will and is is not priorising her health. It's been too short since her illness. I doubt a pregnancy is a good idea.

Speculation bus on he road: I have the feeling that Teri is content with her new life. She's enjoying an empty house, which she probably whished for years. Two girls are married to nice Christian guys. The other has a fullfilling college life. It's all average conservative middle class, which was Teri life before falling in the cultish hole.

[HoneyBunny]

4 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

I didn't expect a naked back dress! I think the dress is beautiful, the young couple is in love and everybody (minus Steve) looked relaxed and happy. For such a depressing upbringing, the daughters have managed to shine! 

I'm sad about Anna Marie's pregnancy. If she's really healed and the pregnancy is risk-free, then ok. But I'm afraid she trusts so much in God's will and is is not priorising her health. It's been too short since her illness. I doubt a pregnancy is a good idea.

Speculation bus on he road: I have the feeling that Teri is content with her new life. She's enjoying an empty house, which she probably whished for years. Two girls are married to nice Christian guys. The other has a fullfilling college life. It's all average conservative middle class, which was Teri life before falling in the cultish hole.

Anna Marie got her cancer treatment at a “Christian” treatment center, so it’s possible the doctors there are on board with continuing to expand the quiver when most docs would not be. Frankly, I love children too much to jeopardize leaving six of them motherless to add to the family, but, hey, these are fundies we’re talking about. 

[Howl]

1 hour ago, Bethy said:

And Teri wore the same tired top she wore to Joe's wedding, Jesse's wedding, Sarah's wedding, and now Mary's wedding. (Not sure why she DIDN'T wear it to John's. Maybe the bride had a very specific color scheme?)

I just can't snark on Teri. She isn't big on fashion and has struggled with depression.  I don't struggle with depression, but I have one outfit to wear to funerals and one for weddings/dressup because 1) it's easy and 2) it's easy.  Sadly, weddings these days are much more infrequent than funerals. It's just a fact of life getting older. 

If she's also an introvert (likely), we're not thrilled about dress-up occasions with a lot of people. 

[postscript]

14 hours ago, SPHASH said:

I noticed Calia was in shorts too but Lydia I think is still in LHOTP fashion 

 

I was more distracted by the fact that Mary was in skinny jeans at a family function!

Mary looks absolutely radiant and the dress is about as mainstream as they go. Given where the girls were at not so long ago, it’s delightful to see two of the three married and the third enjoying an independent life in college. 

[SassyPants]

I wonder why Sam ended up in Kansas? Of all the churches in the states. I would rather they serve elsewhere. 

Beautiful dress and a nice, casual wedding, which I love. A wedding is a mere day. It should not cost a house down payment. I also love the pizza and somores party post the ceremony and pantry shower. Great job Chelsy and John.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I prefer Teri’s dress over Kathy Arndts. I just think Kathy’s is a bit too light. It isn’t considered white. More of a cream/light beige I guess. But I think it was too close to white for my taste. Plus she carried a bouquet instead of wearing a corsage. At least Teri looked like a mother of the bride. I personally don’t think Kathy did. 

Edited June 13, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[treemom]

Holy eye traps. 

[kpmom]

I don’t have a problem with Teri wearing the same dress to several of her kids weddings. 
i guess she found an outfit that works for her and is sticking to it. 

7 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

 

Speculation bus on he road: I have the feeling that Teri is content with her new life. She's enjoying an empty house, which she probably whished for years. Two girls are married to nice Christian guys. The other has a fullfilling college life. It's all average conservative middle class, which was Teri life before falling in the cultish hole.

Isn’t it funny, I had the same thought looking at that wedding picture. She looks genuinely happy and content. 
I also like her hair in the picture. It looks like she had a nice trim and shaping. 
 

[Caroline]

7 hours ago, Howl said:

I just can't snark on Teri. She isn't big on fashion and has struggled with depression.  I don't struggle with depression, but I have one outfit to wear to funerals and one for weddings/dressup because 1) it's easy and 2) it's easy.  Sadly, weddings these days are much more infrequent than funerals. It's just a fact of life getting older. 

If she's also an introvert (likely), we're not thrilled about dress-up occasions with a lot of people. 

This so me too. I detest dressing up and hate weddings in particular. We declined an invitation to a black tie wedding that is going to last three days because of all the before and after parties. We don't want to spend money on all the clothes and are planning to trips this summer that we've been looking forward to for a year. Having to go to that wedding would have blown our budget. The young people getting married have oodles of money and so do all their attendants and most of their guests. We do not and can't justify the expense. My friends think I'm nuts because they love that kind of thing. 

We eloped, and I sincerely hope that my daughter considers that option if she decides to marry.

 

[Loveday]

7 hours ago, Howl said:

I just can't snark on Teri. She isn't big on fashion and has struggled with depression.  I don't struggle with depression, but I have one outfit to wear to funerals and one for weddings/dressup because 1) it's easy and 2) it's easy.  Sadly, weddings these days are much more infrequent than funerals. It's just a fact of life getting older. 

If she's also an introvert (likely), we're not thrilled about dress-up occasions with a lot of people. 

I'm working on having a dress for summer weddings, one for winter weddings, and one each for funerals as well. I now have two wedding dresses, although the one I wore to my son's wedding wasn't the most attractive on my somewhat overweight body. Losing ten pounds would really help. The other one was great, and I may wear it to my niece's wedding in fall of 2024, depending on the date they set. If it's late fall, I'll go shopping for a more winter-appropriate one. Like Teri, I'm not big on fashion, and dress-shopping just stresses me out too much. Not to mention dress shoe shopping. Looking for shoes was almost worse than looking for a dress! 😳

And like Teri, and you, I'm also not thrilled about dress-up occasions with a lot of people!😏 #introvertsunitebutonlyiftheydon'thavetogettogether