M Is for Mama 14: Kids Don't Need Toys When They Have Chores!

[danvillebelle]

2 hours ago, marmalade said:

That's not even 1/3 of her IG followers. Although I would guess that she has a lot of people like us looking in on her antics. 

I have a theory about a lot of people on IG who have large followings but seem totally unremarkable or even grating.  I think a lot of people click follow on someone's account then literally never look at it again, and they don't bother to unfollow. 

I also would not put it past Braggie to buy followers.

[neuroticcat]

I think 40K is actually a surprisingly high number for first 6 months. I mean, usually an author's future publishing fate is sealed in the two weeks after release (why it's always good to preorder your fav author books) and a lot of books bomb. She did have a lot of release week promo, so maybe that was a big boost. It will be interesting to see if it holds after Christmas or if she's sold to the main readership who want to read her books. 

It's a savvy move for her to make book study videos, b/c then small groups may buy it, which probably expands her market. I would never have thought Trim Healthy Mama would do as well as it has, but they found their niche. Probably a lot of crossover there, too, but THM is savvy enough to keep their vile beliefs out of it yet enough people know they are conservative that they have Amish/Mennonites to evangelicals buying their stuff. I don't know if Abbie will have broad appeal or not. Maybe a lot depends on second book.

Sadly, though, I think there will always be parents, especially new converts or vulnerable sleep-deprived parents hoping for the "right" way to parent, who are drawn to authoritarian parenting/beliefs. That's an ever present market despite all evidence that those tactics are not healthy or effective long term.

In her Wednesday question posts, I was happy to see she answered a question from someone about how to get an 18 month old to sit quietly during church with an answer that stated it was a developmentally inappropriate expectation. She had prooftext Bible reasons, too, but at least it was someone from that camp not saying blanket train your children for church. But then she went on to warn against neurodivergence as a bid for attention in the next slide, so, nevermind.  

Edited November 3, 2022 by neuroticcat

[NotQuiteMotY]

On 10/28/2022 at 4:42 PM, luv2laugh said:

She’s TOTALLY presenting herself as the new Michelle Duggar in snazzier, “hipper” packaging: (what she says below & it sounds exactly like Michelle Duggar’s shtick)

”I’m Abbie & I have 10 children. Yep. You heard that right. I have 10 children and TWO sets of identical twins. It is ooone busy life, and I consider it a joy filled one!” 

 

She is so far up her own ass posting all about this in stories on Instagram.  The video shtick is actually on the videographer’s Instagram. 

This is unabashedly a BEC-level comment, but: What on EARTH is going on with the shoulders in that top?!

[Giraffe]

39 minutes ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

This is unabashedly a BEC-level comment, but: What on EARTH is going on with the shoulders in that top?!

The 1980’s. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My shoulders are already enormous. I would never wear a blouse like that because I would look like an NFL linebacker. If shoulder pads come back, I won’t wear them. No matter what. 

[Hane]

15 hours ago, Giraffe said:

The 1980’s. 

Recently, I told my daughter that I hardly remember most of ‘80s culture. She said, “That’s because you spent the ‘80s going to the office every day in shoulder pads!”

[JermajestyDuggar]

23 minutes ago, Hane said:

Recently, I told my daughter that I hardly remember most of ‘80s culture. She said, “That’s because you spent the ‘80s going to the office every day in shoulder pads!”

My mom wore shoulder pads to work too. I remember them well. Especially this one pink blazer with the biggest shoulder pads you’ve ever seen. She also had a perm and her hair was frosted. My mom was very very 80s. 

[SassyPants]

Can confirm the 80s and the shoulder pads.

[0 kids n not countin]

As someone who has rather droopy shoulders, I took full advantage of the 1980s shoulder pad fad back in the day!!😂 

[neuroticcat]

Abbie wants you to know that it is objectively best for children to socialize with many ages, bestest if it's siblings. She explains to everyone that it takes hard work for parents to get children to be kind to young children and make eye contact with older adults when they talk to them. (Cue applause for how amazingly she has done this and don't you know she'll be happy to give you tips if you buy her book). 

This sort of thing makes me so angry these days for so many reasons but here I want to point out that there's nothing inherently magical about eye contact. This is the sort of garbage teaching that spanks shy children and teaches children to doubt their instincts and bend in toward older people...just because. Yes manners and helping kids grow skills. No Braggie and all parenting "experts" who think the gold star for hard work parenting is compliant children.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Voddie Baucham (noted child expert) and his odious advise to whip the daylights out of a shy child. He uses the example of a child who wouldn't be all up in Voddie's grill.

That child had an instinctual distrust of Voddie. The parents should be happy given Voddie's directions to beat your child many times a day for everything, anything, and nothing.

Based on nothing but a hunch -- and her self acknowledged anger issue -- I believe Braggie practices beat your child many times a day for everything, anything, and nothing. She just hides it really really well behind her happy shiny sparkly Jesus-y facade.. 

[SassyPants]

4 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Voddie Baucham (noted child expert) and his odious advise to whip the daylights out of a shy child. He uses the example of a child who wouldn't be all up in Voddie's grill.

That child had an instinctual distrust of Voddie. The parents should be happy given Voddie's directions to beat your child many times a day for everything, anything, and nothing.

Based on nothing but a hunch -- and her self acknowledged anger issue -- I believe Braggie practices beat your child many times a day for everything, anything, and nothing. She just hides it really really well behind her happy shiny sparkly Jesus-y facade.. 

 I don’t think she hides her contempt well at all. She’s a biotch. She acts like a spoiled brat. Her body language, facial expressions and lack of emotion are all readily apparent. In addition, she admits that she never wanted a large family and is not touchy freely at all. I think many women of her ilk gravitate to Abbie because she has a nice home, nice things, a reasonable body after birthing 10 kids and claims to love Jesus. They want to know her secret…well, her secret is she has lots of resources (money, help, family, sitters, meals…) and she half asses a lot, like parenting her own children basic pet ownership and self hygiene. I think some of her followers see the glitches and gaps but can excuse it all because of Jesus and the fact that she has 10 KIDS.

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

Abbie wants you to know that it is objectively best for children to socialize with many ages, bestest if it's siblings. She explains to everyone that it takes hard work for parents to get children to be kind to young children and make eye contact with older adults when they talk to them. (Cue applause for how amazingly she has done this and don't you know she'll be happy to give you tips if you buy her book). 

This sort of thing makes me so angry these days for so many reasons but here I want to point out that there's nothing inherently magical about eye contact. This is the sort of garbage teaching that spanks shy children and teaches children to doubt their instincts and bend in toward older people...just because. Yes manners and helping kids grow skills. No Braggie and all parenting "experts" who think the gold star for hard work parenting is compliant children.

I’m socially awkward, I hate meeting new people and I hate small talk more than I hate nails scraping down a chalkboard. Yet I have no issue with eye contact unless I can’t stand the person. Which is fairly rare. So I can maintain eye contact quite well. Although I suck at a lot of other socializing. I’ve known multiple girls with autism who have no problem with eye contact. I think eye contact can be so varied. I’ve heard so many people say, “well they can’t be autistic because they make eye contact.” As if it’s the end all be all of all autism diagnoses. Braggie doesn’t realize that in public school, tons of kids of all ages interact. All the damn time. My kids were just playing outside last night with kids of all grades. 1st grade all the way through 6th grade. My kids know how to be caring and careful with little ones. You don’t have to have 10 fucking kids for your kids to interact with kids if all ages. 

[neuroticcat]

4 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Voddie Baucham (noted child expert) and his odious advise to whip the daylights out of a shy child. He uses the example of a child who wouldn't be all up in Voddie's grill.

That child had an instinctual distrust of Voddie. The parents should be happy given Voddie's directions to beat your child many times a day for everything, anything, and nothing.

Based on nothing but a hunch -- and her self acknowledged anger issue -- I believe Braggie practices beat your child many times a day for everything, anything, and nothing. She just hides it really really well behind her happy shiny sparkly Jesus-y facade.. 

Totally. He also uses the example of a tween girl who did not want to shake an elder's hand. The father spanked/hit that child over a dozen times until she would comply. 

Besides the abuse/violation of that encounter, it leaves no space for a young person to know their own intuition. What if that elder had been grooming her? Abusing her? Just plain creepy? Nope. She had to be beaten into some patriarchal respect garbage. Makes me beyond furious.

[SuperNova]

Abbie has pigeon holed the f@*k out of herself with this rebellious mama garbage. I think she'll keep doubling down on it, not because she loves kids and parenting but because this is what gives her the most eyeballs. There's about as much love in her parenting advice as there is in a book about risk management. Everything she says is generic, formulaic, and without any real substance but it works so well because there's just so many unfulfilled evangelical mothers out there making babies for Jesus and wondering what it's all actually for. 

It feels like she's been throwing spaghetti at the wall for years looking for an angle to exploit. In the amount of time she's spent trying to promote herself and find that angle, she could have become an actual good parent. No one has ever really cared that she found cheap dresses with good labels at the thrift store, or body pump, her curly hair, or her decorating. She has no discernable talent but by god she's been fertile and she's worked that for all it's worth. There's so little family substance in anything she posts now. Her kids have been commercialized as a concept and are finally serving an actual purpose in her mind. They are living tangible proof that Abbie is an expert at something. She's probably completely insufferable and a monumental bore in real life and it's only going to get worse. 

[neuroticcat]

She was asked in the last Q & A what her dream job is (or something like that). She said author (with the afterthought that mother wasn't really something she dreamed about just accepted that it would be, smh), that she started her blog intending to become a published author, claiming that the entire process was to hone her audience/niche. It would be interesting to know how she would frame that niche, but I think her influence is a blend of working the market and a kind of theologically-endorsed (for her) vanity that allows her to set herself up as an example to follow.

Earlier the same production company came back to film background footage for her video-Bible study series. I guess it's no surprise that influencers market their family for $$$ on instagram would line right up to try and get them on whatever the equivalent of reality TV is. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Braggie would never do reality tv because she knows how bad she would come off. She can do her perfectly curated Instagram pictures. But a show would give everyone a window into how much she hates parenting and how little of it she does. 

[neuroticcat]

She also hinted pretty heavily that the second book is her fav hashtag so I'm guessing Hard is Not the Same Thing as Bad with lots of out of touch attempts at relatable anecdotes about how hard her life is, so her followers can feel guilty for wanting to be happy or have things not be so hard.

[danvillebelle]

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Braggie would never do reality tv because she knows how bad she would come off. She can do her perfectly curated Instagram pictures. But a show would give everyone a window into how much she hates parenting and how little of it she does. 

She also would not be able to hide the fact that they spank, which I am more convinced of now than ever because of how she ALWAYS dodges the question but never outright says they don't do it. 

[SassyPants]

Maybe in the early years her blog showed her and the family in an endearing and favorable light, but I don’t think her current IG or book do. Aside from getting PG and those days are slowly fading, what does AH do really well? Her home and family reflect quantity over quality,  big time. Her self importance and ego are ginormous and her Christian actions are zilch. I do not follow her blog. Is it any more favorable?

[neuroticcat]

17 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

She also would not be able to hide the fact that they spank, which I am more convinced of now than ever because of how she ALWAYS dodges the question but never outright says they don't do it. 

Has she never said it outright? For sure they spank, and it's likely insta-obedience style "training," b/c that is "biblical" in most conservative circles. Probably most of her followers would agree with her anyway, and she just dodges it b/c she knows it's too controversial - kind of like the Duggars pulling the Pearls book from their website.

I feel like she's discussed it before but I could be wrong. I remember she once talked about blanket training and then, when people called her on it, posted faux horror as if she didn't know some people hit their children to get them to stay on the blanket. 

I think it only takes one time for the fundies to realize the rest of the world finds their parenting tips abusive. They learn to hide it.

[danvillebelle]

She's not said it outright that I've seen, but she may have.  When people ask her if they do on IG she usually becomes a one-woman conga line dancing around the question.  She didn't say anything about it in the book because she knew it wouldn't sell as well and she'd get huge backlash if she did. 

The time I knew for sure she did was when she posted that horrible picture of a terrified Shiloh, with her gripping his arm.  That was the face of a kid who's about to get whacked.

ETA: it irks the shit out of me that she thinks she's qualified to tell anyone how to parent, just because she has 10 kids.  As someone said above, quantity over quality.  Her college degree is in secondary education.  She never took a parenting class, no training in counselling, no religious training whatsoever.  And she thinks she's this GODLY authority on parenting who has this amazing knowledge to share with the world, simply because she decided she wanted to be a published author and ran a fucking blog for years. It's ludicrous. 

Edited November 13, 2022 by danvillebelle

[FiveAcres]

On 11/2/2022 at 7:45 PM, danvillebelle said:

I have a theory about a lot of people on IG who have large followings but seem totally unremarkable or even grating.  I think a lot of people click follow on someone's account then literally never look at it again, and they don't bother to unfollow. 

I also would not put it past Braggie to buy followers.

With the Twitter meltdown, I have been thinking seriously about my social media participation. The following may be TLDR:

Spoiler

1) I realized that I dislike using Facebook, but I do use it to track a few pages, groups, friends and family members. I went through my FB account and deleted most of the pages and groups I have followed over the years. I also use an browser extension called Facebook Purity which gets rid of the algorithmic news feed and pretty much shows me what I want after I deleted all the cruft. (I have always blocked anyone I find to be an asshole on Facebook.) It was very tedious deleting everything, but I no longer feel like I am trying to drink from a fire hose. One good thing about FB is that you can snooze people. I tend not block to people I know in real life, but I will snooze them if they become annoying. Perhaps they will have moved on to something non-annoying when the snooze goes off. 

2) I stopped looking at Instagram since the value proposition is not there for me now. If instagram had something equivalent to Twitter lists, I would use lists to filter my feeds and try again, but they don't. 

3) I created a login on a Mastodon server. Mastodon is not a Twitter replacement, but scratches the same itch for me. 

4) I have a new appreciation for those old-fashioned sites such as forums (like FreeJinger) and blogs (especially those with a well-moderated comment section.) 

Good moderation is key: both the sort of moderation that FreeJinger provides and the ability to as easily unfollow someone as follow them. FJ's software is nice because one can easily block and unblock entire threads depending on one's current necessities. 

[danvillebelle]

I have less than 60 friends on FB; they're nearly all family and people I consider close friends.  I mainly use FB to keep in touch with them and to see what's going on in my little town through the community groups there.  My IG feed consists almost solely of cute animals and cross stitch. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’ve had a facebook page since 2005. Back when I had like 12 friends who were all in college too. And postings were few and far between. I have never had a big friend list and I’ve always tried to be fairly private. Maybe because I was on Facebook from the beginning, I’m more private. From the start it was just a small friend list for me. Having a zillion FB friends was just never the norm to me. I’ve never been big on Twitter and I choose not to post much of anything on Instagram. I don’t have tiktok or Snapchat. I keep up on what’s popular and all that. I just don’t participate much.