Dillards 91: Increments of Change or Not?

[Father Son Holy Goat]

12 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Honestly, there was no time for books because their parents collected and hoarded children like most households collect used produce and grocery bags. Why did these folks never realize that children require and deserve parental time, energy and money to grow up secure, healthy and intact?  WHY?

I suspect because Jim Bob and Michelle did not grow up secure, healthy, and intact. However, rather than choosing to be a cycle breaker like Jill they ensured their kids would also not grow up secure, healthy and intact.

[Jinder Roles]

I think Jinger once said the older and younger kids learned to swim but the middle kids got lost in the sauce. 

[marmalade]

4 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

I think Jinger once said the older and younger kids learned to swim but the middle kids got lost in the sauce. 

That was actually Joy, admitting she couldn't swim.

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

I think Jinger once said the older and younger kids learned to swim but the middle kids got lost in the sauce. 

I’m guessing that’s the case for many many things. 

[Smee]

On 5/4/2022 at 11:11 PM, SassyPants said:

Honestly, there was no time for books because their parents collected and hoarded children like most households collect used produce and grocery bags. Why did these folks never realize that children require and deserve parental time, energy and money to grow up secure, healthy and intact?  WHY?

Because they’re not children, they’re soldiers for Christian dominionism and quantity was valued over quality. Can’t send an archer into battle with 2 arrows in his quiver 🙄

[Father Son Holy Goat]

I hope wherever they move it’s near a nursing school so Jill can go back and get her nursing degree, if she wants to.

[Grace]

21 minutes ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

I hope wherever they move it’s near a nursing school so Jill can go back and get her nursing degree, if she wants to.

Jill seems to genuinely enjoy being a full time mom to her boys. Even if she wants to go too nursing (or some other) school eventually, I don't see that happening for a minimum of 5 or 6 more years. Probably more because I bet they have another one so this baby has a sibling close in age. But I could see Derek being supportive of her taking one class at a time online thru a community college to get slowly caught up on the basic classes she'd need to do get into a nursing program later.

 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

8 hours ago, Grace said:

Jill seems to genuinely enjoy being a full time mom to her boys. Even if she wants to go too nursing (or some other) school eventually, I don't see that happening for a minimum of 5 or 6 more years. Probably more because I bet they have another one so this baby has a sibling close in age. But I could see Derek being supportive of her taking one class at a time online thru a community college to get slowly caught up on the basic classes she'd need to do get into a nursing program later.

 

I just hope if she wants to go back she can. Childhood dreams certainly change, and I’d want Jill to follow her current dreams, whatever they are.

[Cheetah]

I mentioned on the Josh thread that someone on reddit who has a PACER account put up a bunch of documents that were just released from the Duggar girls' lawsuit into dropbox.  Of interest in the Jill thread is the 2nd doc in this bunch - 

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/yfb585ufz25p4lo/AACqzR1fM34rxpXZZtM5AelQa?dl=0   'MIL to exclude relationship with JB Evidence' - they wanted to exclude some testimony in their depositions about their relationship with their parents that they think is irrelevant to the lawsuit.  One line states - "For example, members of the jury may base their determination of Jim Bob's credibility as a witness on allegations that Jim Bob Duggar is verbally abusive or engaged in behavior toward his children  that defendants' counsel has characterized as "toxic," "repressive," or "controlling" rather than based upon the witness's testimony at trial.'

there is also this which makes it more relevant to this thread - Whether Plaintiff Jill Dillard’s husband, Derick Dillard, believes Plaintiffs’ parents have treated him and his family poorly'  and 'Whether Plaintiffs’ parents approve of Plaintiffs’ lifestyle choices, such as having a nose ring, wearing pants, or drinking, and whether theirparents’ disapproval led to “confrontations or disputes” or “estrangement” (see e.g., Ex. Eto Bledsoe Decl. [Dep. Tr. of Derick Dillard] at 124:15-125:5; Ex. Fto Bledsoe Decl. [Dep. Tr. of Jeremy Vuolo] at 33:2-15, 81:1-22'

[Mrs Ms]

Fuuuuuuck! Parents of the year 🤬

[mydoggoskeeper]

Ewww, the TTH is across the street from a landfill?!?

[AussieKrissy]

https://www.the-sun.com/entertainment/5317172/jill-duggar-derick-dillard-relies-food-banks-financial-struggle/
 Dillard’s we’re broke.. 

[raayx01]

55 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

https://www.the-sun.com/entertainment/5317172/jill-duggar-derick-dillard-relies-food-banks-financial-struggle/
 Dillard’s we’re broke.. 

I get he wanted to help people like Jill but he had a masters in Accounting. He could get a good job anywhere but he decided to go back to school with a stay at home wife and two kids and of all school, law school which is really expensive. They didn't have to be broke.

[Coconut Flan]

Where did the info that Derik has a masters in accounting arise?  He finished a bachelors for sure.

[socalrules]

Yeah, I am having a hard time believing they had no other options than a food bank. I can believe the school was giving away food to students during the pandemic but I have a hard time believing it was that or starve for the Dillards. Cathy would not have let them go hungry. There is a difference between struggling students who work, go to school and still can’t make ends met and a law student with a wife, two kids and a mortgage who decides to go to school full time without a steady income to pay the bills.
 

Derrick could have gone to law school part-time at night, worked full-time during the day and graduated in four years instead of three. It’s very common and why most law schools have part-time night programs for people who work full-time. I know a lot of people that did that in order to still take care of their families. If anything, Jill could have gotten a job, even if it was just on the weekends or at night, when Derrick was home to watch the kids.  They put themselves in that situation. It’s not as if Derrick lost a job and couldn’t find work. I can blame Jill’s parents for a lot but not for this situation. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

2 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

https://www.the-sun.com/entertainment/5317172/jill-duggar-derick-dillard-relies-food-banks-financial-struggle/
 Dillard’s we’re broke.. 

 They claimed financial hardship in the past. Also the Sun is not a credible source. They seem to have court documents related to the lawsuit, but in general it's a garbage paper. 

[Idlewild]

The Sun is a terrible newspaper.

I have no doubt the Dillards are not where they think they should be financially after 15+ years in a successful TV show, but I doubt they were broke. They made choices that usually involved Derick not working full time. Both were capable of getting a job.

I get this was a lawsuit to get some cash, but blaming the disclosure of Josh’s behaviour for their woes ? The real culprits are JB & M and the patriarchal bullshit they follow.

[Nothing if not critical]

30 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

The Sun is a terrible newspaper.

I actually think calling them a "newspaper" is an overly generous use of the term...

[Cam]

 It sounds like the reliance on a food bank occurred earlier on in the marriage. Maybe this was around the time the Dillards got the hefty hospital bill from one of Jill’s pregnancies. And if she was recovering from childbirth and taking care of an infant it would have been harder for her to get a weekend or nighttime job. Isn’t the hospital bill what spurred them to finally question the dispersement of Counting On money? It doesn’t say how long the Dillards needed help from a food bank. 

The Sun is what I call a gossip rag. I know exactly how they twist a story to make it as salacious as possible. They infer things, omit things, tell half truths and make vague statements so the reader inserts their own interpretation into the story. It’s just mercenary drivel. For this story, a photo is attached of the Dillards looking sad or dejected. The Sun adds it to try to make the article look more official, but who knows when the picture was taken. They’re reporting on court document statements that were given several years ago but the headline makes it sound like the Dillards are currently using food banks, and that seems not right. They recently sold their house—didn’t they purchase it for about $179,000? I am not versed in all the many details so correct me where I’m wrong. 

Edited May 12, 2022 by Cam

[JermajestyDuggar]

That’s what food banks are for. People going through hard times and need it. Big fucking deal. I hope the story at least makes people realize that anyone could go through a hard time and need the food bank. I think some people see it as a stigma and avoid it. Even if needed. Which is unfortunate.

[FleeJanaFree]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

That’s what food banks are for. People going through hard times and need it. Big fucking deal. I hope the story at least makes people realize that anyone could go through a hard time and need the food bank. I think some people see it as a stigma and avoid it. Even if needed. Which is unfortunate.

Absolutely! I’m glad they had the resource. I know my local food pantry tells people to come in when they’re hungry and don’t give one fuck is someone out there feels that person coulda should’ve done something else to provide for themselves. You don’t have to be homeless to qualify. And there for anyone who needs help that particular day no questions asked. 
 

im more interested in Jill’s comments about her dad, usually Derrick is her mouth piece. 

[Mama Mia]

Interesting

* Getting food boxes from the campus food bank is no big deal. They are there for a reason and people are encouraged to use them. Sometimes the food is really good and will just go to waste otherwise.

* I don’t know when this happened, but especially in the last couple years with shortages and limited store hours and social distancing and quarantines etc — lots more people have used food banks who wouldn’t otherwise, and there is/was (at least in my area) lots of concerted effort to provide more food banks and boxes to anyone who wanted them. 

* Saying that — I hear a ton of Derek being Derek in the wording. Lots of emphasis on documenting their poverty without actually documenting their income -i.e - neighbors bringing food boxes and campus food give aways don’t have income limits - SNAP does. 

* All of the wording attributed to Jill’s feelings and behaviors and opinions sounds extremely coached by her husband to use the terms most likely to result in proof of emotional damage. 

* Chefs kiss to Michelle being described as just wanting JB to sometimes shut his mouth. 
 

* These young women got screwed over by absolutely everyone, including the city who released their info and their parents, as well as their nasty brother. 
 

 

* 
 

 

[SassyPants]

Now if this is true, and I’ll admit I didnt read beyond the first lines of the article, I have some questions. #1, I could see a scenario where after DD quit WM and the show was canceled, that $$$ could have been an issue. I could see Jill suggesting using a Church or Food Bank to help meet needs. The Duggars probably did the same during scarcer times. Maybe DD was too sick (jaw issues) to pursue active employment, or Jill was too fragile to parent solo? Or maybe DD orchestrated the entire thing to give credence to his “JB is a controlling a-hole” mantra? *Note to DD, anyone who has ever watched the show(s) could deduce that JB is a controlling a-hole.*

However, what I can’t understand is why DD never got his act together to get a family supporting job. From what has been shown, DD has not had a family supporting job (unless he’s hidden it away) since 2015. I applaud that he didn’t expand his family beyond the 2 kids and that he has obtained his JD, but if he needed a food bank to feed his family, he wasn’t meeting basic needs, and really, unless J and D were both incapacitated, one of them should have had a family supporting job. Law school is a luxury, whereas food for your children is a necessity. To me, that shows poor decision making (if things were truly as bad as the Dillards present), or their financial troubles were exaggerated. DD had a business degree and has never been without the ability to get a decent job…he just chose not to use that degree, which indicates to me that he had  adequate resources to stay unemployed*.

 

ETA- I TRULY WONDER IF THE DEBACLE WITH THE DUGGARS, AND JB IN PARTICULAR, WAS THE CATALYST FOR DD TO ATTEND LAW SCHOOL? 

* I realize he may have had short term gigs along the way. When I talk about being employed, I’m talking about a family supporting job.

Edited May 12, 2022 by SassyPants

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’ve always figured that fundies who grow up with having their essential needs met, will be less likely to question. The Duggars didn’t start out that way. If they never got the show, I fully believe half of them would already be out of fundie land. Making their own way without daddy’s money to keep them in. The same with the Bateses. But Jill fell on hard times even though she was the perfect godly wife and daughter. Of course she would start to question. 

[Sabine]

The world is full of people that work full time and still need food parcels to make ends meet. 

Can i see that happening to the Dillards, yeah, as it happens to millions of others. Having a job does not mean having enough money to pay for everything. Consider also that she does not work. Maybe this is where Cathy could take Jill aside and sit her down on the kitchen table and explain some reality to her, namely that women worked since the dawn of time and raised children. That Jill could get a no skill job in a supermarket packing shelfs, take in a few kids and create a business looking after kids, go to school - gasp - and get a proper high school degree and make that something. 

But i can find no fault nor shame in getting help when money is short and there is not enough of it to feed everyone and pay the bills.