"M" Is for Mama 12: Birth Control Should Have Been Your BFF

[SuperNova]

3 minutes ago, So-Virgin-It-Hurts said:

Is this irony? Am I wrong or is she describing herself?

I know, right? Pot, meet kettle. 

[feministxtian]

What a hypocritical bitch. She does nothing but talk shit about poor Shiloh. Her hashtag "hard is not the same as bad" is so twisted. Nobody ever said raising kids was easy...but most of us had/have the sense to STOP before we reach that completely overwhelmed stage. I had 3 because I didn't want 4. One of my bonus daughters has one. Kiddo came out as a screaming extravert and has 2 introvert parents. J said she refused to take a chance on another extravert. Son and DIL have 2. They thought about having another one but baby A has yet to sleep all night and is ummm...energetic is a good word. She goes until she passes out on the floor, sleeps an hour or so and is up and ready to roll again. So, it was decided that 2 were enough. My other kids are happy with their family size or lack thereof. 

In my generation, it wasn't uncommon for the "good Catholic" families to have 6-10 kids. However, they were usually spread out pretty far, very few sets of twins, kids were in school, had after school activities, weren't parentified at all. Like, if they were asked to babysit the younger ones they were usually paid pretty handsomely. 

I just don't get it. I loved watching my kids grow up. However, my 3 clones were more than enough. 

[Hane]

Well, Braggie, if the Lord has been peeling away your layers of self-centeredness and impatience, he has a hell of a lot more peeling to do.

[JermajestyDuggar]

She doesn’t use her children as a punch line. She uses them as a punching bag. 

[MomKB]

Her lack of self-awareness is astounding. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

On 1/9/2022 at 2:42 PM, feministxtian said:

In my generation, it wasn't uncommon for the "good Catholic" families to have 6-10 kids. However, they were usually spread out pretty far, very few sets of twins, kids were in school, had after school activities, weren't parentified at all. Like, if they were asked to babysit the younger ones they were usually paid pretty handsomely. 

As a former Catholic, I've known plenty of boomer Catholics and this is not consistently true. 

One family had 8 kids probably similar spacing to Braggie.  The parents had twins in the middle. The oldest daughter was a sister mom to some of them.  Other children were brother dads. The kids at least went to school. None of them had as many kids.

One family had 5 kids much closer in age than Braggie's kids.  Officially they thought they could still have more. The kids were a lot to handle.

Another family of 8 kids. The oldest daughter was definitely somewhat a sister-mom. She became more of a sister mom after her mother died. Never had kids of her own. Kids ended up growing up and making their own choices.

Family of 6 kids. The oldest girls were sister-moms although they went to school. They got to move out, go to college. At least one of them didn't have kids.

I could go on, but the main difference between fundies and the old Catholic families was the kids went to school, so they weren't home all day to help raise the kids. However when they were home, many oldest sisters have stories of being parentified children. Also, most of these scenarios, the kids were allowed to make different choices than the parents as adults. 

 

Edited January 12, 2022 by Bluebirdbluebell

[SuperNova]

Abbie was at lunch and saw a mother with her kids. She had a clear view of their table so that she could sit and silently judge without obstruction. Luckily the woman passed muster with Abbie and gained praise. If this little family had a cranky kid or if mom had an off day, we would all be getting yet another lecture on mediocre motherhood. I don't believe for a second that this other mother said that Abbie "was a huge encouragement". Who speaks past tense in the moment? Also, encouragement has a particular religious slant and I'm calling b.s. It's more likely that the woman was polite and thanked her without her eyes lighting up with the unadulterated joy of having Abbie compliment her.   

This whole story is a joke. We've seen Abbie talk about her own kids melting down in public, spilling juice and food. She's posted pics after a meal out and the table is destroyed. When it's about Abbie, she's being "real" about motherhood, when it's others, she calls it bad parenting. 

Spoiler

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Abbie was at lunch and saw a mother with her kids. She had a clear view of their table so that she could sit and silently judge without obstruction. Luckily the woman passed muster with Abbie and gained praise. If this little family had a cranky kid or if mom had an off day, we would all be getting yet another lecture on mediocre motherhood. I don't believe for a second that this other mother said that Abbie "was a huge encouragement". Who speaks past tense in the moment? Also, encouragement has a particular religious slant and I'm calling b.s. It's more likely that the woman was polite and thanked her without her eyes lighting up with the unadulterated joy of having Abbie compliment her.   

This whole story is a joke. We've seen Abbie talk about her own kids melting down in public, spilling juice and food. She's posted pics after a meal out and the table is destroyed. When it's about Abbie, she's being "real" about motherhood, when it's others, she calls it bad parenting. 

  Hide contents

 

Yet another humble brag. 
 

“Look at how awesome I am! I told a random Woman she’s a great mom based on watching her for 10 minutes in public! Aren’t I the best? Go me!”

[feministxtian]

I call bullshit on this story. Taking 3 kids out if they're well-rested, relaxed and not overhungry is a piece of cake. The headache comes when one is a tween with an attitude, and the other two will do anything to get a reaction out of the other one. 

The only way Abbie would pay a compliment is if she was fishing for one herself. 

[TuringMachine]

Ok but Braggie if you're studying how this woman is interacting with her kids doesn't that mean that you weren't being fully engaged with your own multiple small children?

[JermajestyDuggar]

Narcissists always think their praise is like a blessing from god. She thinks so much of her opinion that she just blessed that woman for eternity with her words. 

[SuperNova]

22 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Narcissists always think their praise is like a blessing from god. She thinks so much of her opinion that she just blessed that woman for eternity with her words. 

Seriously. The whole "eyes lighting up" thing was a bit much. Who is this terribly sheltered mouse of a woman who just glowed under praise from a stranger? 

Edited January 12, 2022 by SuperNova

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Seriously. The whole "eyes lighting up" thing was a bit much. Who is this terribly sheltered mouse of a woman who just glowed under praise from a stranger? 

The random woman: “oh no! The woman who has been staring at me for 10 minutes is coming over! What do I do?!”

*Braggie complements her like she’s Regina George on steroids and walks away*
 

The random woman: “oh thank god she didn’t murder me.”

[Hane]

I gotta admit: A few years ago, I was dining out with friends in a small restaurant dining room. The other two groups had several small kids with them. At one point a child got fidgety and one of the adults took him outside to take a walk. As I left, I complimented them all on such sweet kids. One of the moms mentioned leaving her daughter with a sitter because she wasn’t ready for the restaurant experience.

[neuroticcat]

I think this is the sort of post that is actually discouraging to a mother of many young kids, though, because her takeaway isn’t necessarily to encourage others but to be fully engaged and playful and all the rest with your perfectly-behaved-while-eating-out children. Her unintentional point isn’t so much the encouragement as the evaluation of the mother’s performance (note the “no phone” instruction. I mean, when I took my three three-and-under to McDonald’s playplace on unending raining Seattle days and parked there with my laptop for all of our sanity, that was “Good Job, Mama” too.

I do think encouraging words can be nice to strangers, but I don’t think they are all that rare. I’ve gotten a lot of empathetic comments from other moms and elderly ladies in particular. In fact, isn’t Abbie always talking about the comments she gets from strangers in a quasi-analytical way? I do feel for her. Somewhere along the way she’s decided she needs to be exemplary and lead the way as a way of being a good Christian, and that’s an unending and heavy burden. Though the fact that she passes it on to others is really problematic.

Edited January 12, 2022 by neuroticcat

[fluffernutter]

@Hane I don't think there is anything wrong at all for expressing niceness to people, especially families! The difference is that she just HAS to brag about it on social media so she gets the attention and kudos. 

[bea]

Oh Abbie, so cringe. Some random lady coming up to me to tell me condescendingly that I’m a good mom is going to get an eyeroll, not gratitude.
Imagine how convinced you have to be of your own superiority to go around randomly telling strangers that they’re good parents

[neuroticcat]

5 hours ago, bea said:

Oh Abbie, so cringe. Some random lady coming up to me to tell me condescendingly that I’m a good mom is going to get an eyeroll, not gratitude.
Imagine how convinced you have to be of your own superiority to go around randomly telling strangers that they’re good parents

Yep and any conversation has the potential to garner backpats for the mother-of-ten. I’ve experienced this weird dynamic when out with my youngest kids at the park. With all the mom small talk it usually gets around to ages of kids or if this is your only or whatever. It’s a real thing that when I say “six” I get backpats of amazement. Who knows whether it’s sincere or not, but it’s like a knee jerk reaction that if a mom  more kids, they must be an expert, or doing a better job or mom of the year or something. We all know that’s not the case. Anyway, it makes me super uncomfortable, but it’s kind of Abbie’s platform, so, either way, she’s got to know at some level that this is kind of a flex.

 

[anachronistic]

She says ‘we’ were out to lunch, not who the ‘we’ was. Dollars to donuts it was just her and Sean and the babies and at least some, if not all, of the other kids were at home fending for themselves as usual.

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, anachronistic said:

She says ‘we’ were out to lunch, not who the ‘we’ was. Dollars to donuts it was just her and Sean and the babies and at least some, if not all, of the other kids were at home fending for themselves as usual.

I agree. She is so much like Jill. She wants to go out to eat all the time but never wants to bring all the kids. Both Braggie and Jill seem to be poor cooks and expect the kids to cook and make their own food. 

[SassyPants]

I just find it funny that she talks about being present with your kids, no phone…Um, is she ever fully present with her 10? Individually? Even as a group? She posts on IG 1000xs (maybe more) than I do and I don’t have any kids in my home!

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I just find it funny that she talks about being present with your kids, no phone…Um, is she ever fully present with her 10? Individually? Even as a group? She posts on IG 1000xs (maybe more) than I do and I don’t have any kids in my home!

I’m not always present and attentive to my kids. I just can’t do it. And I don’t think Braggie can either. Even though she thinks she is. 

[SassyPants]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m not always present and attentive to my kids. I just can’t do it. And I don’t think Braggie can either. Even though she thinks she is. 

I’m sure you don’t blast others on the Internet about those behaviors- I’m glad SM and the Internet were not around when my kids were little-

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I’m sure you don’t blast others on the Internet about those behaviors- I’m glad SM and the Internet were not around when my kids were little-

The only moms I blast are fundies. And usually it’s because they are being hypocritical and I have to point it out. Or they are being obviously neglectful. But I tend to assume most moms are doing their best and leave them alone. 

[TuringMachine]

I think we can safely assume Shiloh wasn't there otherwise she would have snuck in a complaint about him.