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"M" Is for Mama 12: Birth Control Should Have Been Your BFF


nelliebelle1197

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I wish the Quiverfull camp could really genuinely get it in their heads that being FOR their children means acknowledging their individual dignity. They are not Instagram accessories, story examples for your posts, arrows to exemplify your godliness, or specific challenges sent to grow your character. They are not, in fact, your cross of “hard” to bear. 
 

Actually being FOR them would be prioritizing their personhood and not making parenthood a primary identity. I remember an interesting talk pointing out how the terminology shifted from raising/rearing children to parenthood. It’s interesting to think about the good and bad of that - how the good concept of prioritizing family relationships soon overtook any matter of fact taking-care-of-your-children-is-something-you-do-for-a-time-alongside-many-other-things and became a narcissistic parenting identity in itself.

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1 hour ago, neuroticcat said:

Actually being FOR them would be prioritizing their personhood and not making parenthood a primary identity

That's reeeaaallly hard to do when you hold the belief, like Abbie does, that children are born sinners. That they're broken. If children are there to sanctify Abbie, to bring her closer to her god, then the opposite has to be true as well. Satan uses their sinful nature to drag Abbie down. It seems nearly impossible to hold that belief system and see children as small autonomous people. Abbie has weaponized her children in an imaginary battle.

Edited by SuperNova
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Guys, how does she have 100K followers? And now I can’t unsee the Shiloh shade. In today’s cartalk she sideeyes him for melting down and then goes on to record video with perfectly silent background. 
 

Also what is with the todo list posting? I understand the nickname “Braggie” now. It begs the “just how do you do it all? You are amazing!” response. And the inevitable fawning responses: how can it be ten days your hair looks great! You are amazing! Add to that the false humility - it’s not bragging to be an example and I learned as I go; you will too but it will take ten kids to arrive at my expert level fundiemomming. Oh, wow. 😖

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Edited by neuroticcat
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She’s a disgusting, vile disgrace of a human and hates her children. I hope when Shiloh grows up he tells her and Shaun to go F themselves on his 18th birthday, gets into good therapy and becomes a kind, compassionate human inspite of his parents. 

Edited by Giraffe
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In the past, Abbie has pondered on why it's hard for her to make and keep friends. It's because she's exhausting. Her constant need for head pats and validation would drive anyone away. You have ten kids? Wow, that's cool. You designed your house? That's kinda neat. You're hair...is curly and you don't wash it? Umm, ok. You have two sets of mono do twins? You're skin is whiter than your husband's and your eyes are a different shade of blue? Well, that's something. I have to go now.

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1 hour ago, neuroticcat said:

Guys, how does she have 100K followers? And now I can’t unsee the Shiloh shade. In today’s cartalk she sideeyes him for melting down and then goes on to record video with perfectly silent background. 
 

Also what is with the todo list posting? I understand the nickname “Braggie” now. It begs the “just how do you do it all? You are amazing!” response. And the inevitable fawning responses: how can it be ten days your hair looks great! You are amazing! Add to that the false humility - it’s not bragging to be an example and I learned as I go; you will too but it will take ten kids to arrive at my expert level fundiemomming. Oh, wow. 😖

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There’s a brag in every single post she makes. Every single one. Some are subtle brags, some are insulting brags, some are humble brags, and others are outright I’m better than you brags. She has earned her name big time. 

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5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

There’s a brag in every single post she makes. Every single one. Some are subtle brags, some are insulting brags, some are humble brags, and others are outright I’m better than you brags. She has earned her name big time. 

I get this now. At first it sounded a little harsh, but now that I’ve followed her for awhile, yikes, you can’t not see it. The pics from the hosted gingerbread house party tonight appear to be…the family members. So, writing out “host party” for that - not sure if that’s inflating things or a way to keep peppy. Either way, it must be really unpleasant to be that driven for approval.

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IF she can get all that shit done with 10 kids around, the kids are being ignored. I mean, littles demand a lot of attention. They will act out if they feel they are being ignored (Shiloh). I used to think I was doing well if the house wasn't wrecked and I put to bed the same number of kids I woke up that morning. 

I feel so sorry for her kids, they deserve so much more. Yeah, there's 10 of them but they all deserve to have attention from their mama. Even homeschooling should take lots of time with the number of kids and different grade levels. Some of the kids can work independently but the littles need a whole lot of attention. 

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2 hours ago, TuringMachine said:

Hasn't she said multiple times that the kids fold the laundry? 

Yes. She says she will put on some sort of audible story while the kids fold. As if it’s a treat or something. 

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She isn’t doing most of that to do list, the kids are. She’s only doing what directly affects her. The kids are definitely cleaning the fridge, putting away the groceries, flipping and folding and putting away the laundry, vacuuming, cleaning up Shilohs room, (does he have his own room?) and watering the plants. Half of these things she has said in the past are the kids jobs. They’re also probably setting up and cleaning up from the gingerbread houses, as I’m sure Abbies idea of hosting is sitting around talking and not, you know, doing the work of a party.

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She thinks that since she supervises the kids doing these chores, she gets credit for them.

Also, has she gotten botox or someting? I don't keep up with her much but her eyebrow is up to her hairline

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1 hour ago, freejugar said:

She thinks that since she supervises the kids doing these chores, she gets credit for them.

Also, has she gotten botox or someting? I don't keep up with her much but her eyebrow is up to her hairline

She’s always drawn her eyebrows very high. I’ve always thought it made her look like a Disney Villain. 

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2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ve always thought it made her look like a Disney Villain. 

She IS a Disney evil stepmother.  If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck...

I'm sick of her ragging on Shiloh because "he loves sugar", like that's some kind of character fault or sin.  Yes Braggie, kids like sugar, DUH.  Breast milk is sweet.  It's ingrained from birth because sweet generally means high calories = survival.  Also, maybe he loves sweets because they have more flavor than your nasty bland cooking.

Edited by danvillebelle
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5 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

She IS a Disney evil stepmother.  If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck...

I'm sick of her ragging on Shiloh because "he loves sugar", like that's some kind of character fault or sin.  Yes Braggie, kids like sugar, DUH.  Breast milk is sweet.  It's ingrained from birth because sweet generally means high calories = survival.  Also, maybe he loves sweets because they have more flavor than your nasty bland cooking.

Can you imagine what would happen if one of her children had 10 extra pounds on them? She should publicly shame that child like nothing else. It seems the kids are all naturally thin like Braggie and Shaun. Therefore it’s probably unlikely to happen. But she would be so mean if one of her girls gained a little fat around puberty. 

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2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Can you imagine what would happen if one of her children had 10 extra pounds on them? She should publicly shame that child like nothing else. It seems the kids are all naturally thin like Braggie and Shaun. Therefore it’s probably unlikely to happen. But she would be so mean if one of her girls gained a little fat around puberty. 

Absolutely...that child would suddenly be accompanying her to the gym and taking all her classes, because "they want to."  

 

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23 hours ago, neuroticcat said:

! Add to that the false humility - it’s not bragging to be an example and I learned as I go; you will too but it will take ten kids to arrive at my expert level fundiemomming. Oh, wow.”

 

um…I kind of called it. Or she’s just that predictable. 😂

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Edited by neuroticcat
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38 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

 

um…I kind of called it. Or she’s just that predictable. 😂

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This goes completely against her whole shtick. She’s one of the most judgmental instagram moms out there. 

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1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This goes completely against her whole shtick. She’s one of the most judgmental instagram moms out there. 

Maybe because she is able to judge when people fail to conform to the image of Christ? 🙄

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1 hour ago, neuroticcat said:

Maybe because she is able to judge when people fail to conform to the image of Christ? 🙄

Yeah, because she's got it down pat....NOT. LOL

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18 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I used to think I was doing well if the house wasn't wrecked and I put to bed the same number of kids I woke up that morning. 

Two kids here. There have been days where I count it as a win if everyone is fed and the house is still standing at the end of the day.

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34 minutes ago, Zommom said:

12 Days of Christmas Dirty Hair

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If it was anyone else I would think this was to troll haters but this is Abbie, and bragging about smelly hair is totally on brand. This isn't the flex that she thinks it is. Or who knows? Maybe the women around her are so completely shallow that this is an important goal to reach. But to what end? What am I not understanding here? I get that some people "train" their scalp with less washings but I don't see what's special about it. Wash your hair when you need to. The end. 

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33 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

If it was anyone else I would think this was to troll haters but this is Abbie, and bragging about smelly hair is totally on brand. This isn't the flex that she thinks it is. Or who knows? Maybe the women around her are so completely shallow that this is an important goal to reach. But to what end? What am I not understanding here? I get that some people "train" their scalp with less washings but I don't see what's special about it. Wash your hair when you need to. The end. 

I agree. She thinks she has magic hair. No you have dirty hair because you work out and sweat every day for 12 days. She probably just puts more and more dry shampoo in it until it’s so crusty she must wash it. 

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33 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

If it was anyone else I would think this was to troll haters but this is Abbie, and bragging about smelly hair is totally on brand. This isn't the flex that she thinks it is. Or who knows? Maybe the women around her are so completely shallow that this is an important goal to reach. But to what end? What am I not understanding here? I get that some people "train" their scalp with less washings but I don't see what's special about it. Wash your hair when you need to. The end. 

LOL also that definitely means she didn't get everything on that "To Do" list done. In fact, about the only thing on there that she couldn't have passed on to the kids was "take shower and wash hair", and she clearly didn't do half of that item if she's now on "day 12 straight hair".

Like I don't wash my hair super often (10 days would be way too long for me, though) but it's not a thing I brag about. I wash it when it needs it. 

If I went 12 days though I'd be wearing a hat and cringing at myself. 

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