Carlin & Evan 10: Living in Their Own Instagram Sitcom

[AussieKrissy]

4 hours ago, Guanabana said:

Carlin posted, the entire Stew Crew will attend the wedding. Layla is two so they won’t be saddled with two lap babies. 

Yeah I would be like duck that… and stay home and chill 

you know what they say about best laid plains though… 

[SassyPants]

21 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

Yeah I would be like duck that… and stay home and chill 

you know what they say about best laid plains though… 

I totally agree. What better excuse to stay back, avoid traveling with a newborn and young, 2YO, avoid further Covid exposure for the girls…When is the wedding? And then they come back to renovate a house and move? Sounds crazy to me.

[AussieKrissy]

3 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I totally agree. What better excuse to stay back, avoid traveling with a newborn and young, 2YO, avoid further Covid exposure for the girls…When is the wedding? And then they come back to renovate a house and move? Sounds crazy to me.

The most I would do is, I myself fly in fly out while the hubby had the kids at home. Hard but not impossible to do if breast feeding. Even that sounds all to hard but honestly maybe it would be nice to have a little break to yourself. With a second kid you are way more relaxed so it would be easier to do with a second babe than a first. 

[JDuggs]

Carlin bringing Layla makes me think that all of the siblings, spouses and children are attending and Carlin didn’t want to leave Layla out. This is the ultimate reason to have have aunt-moms. I’m sure Michael, Katie, Addie, Ellie and Callie will all be assigned to sisters and sister-in-law to assist with their kids. I think all the brothers will be assigned to tasks like luggage, etc.

[Guanabana]

19 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

Carlin bringing Layla makes me think that all of the siblings, spouses and children are attending and Carlin didn’t want to leave Layla out. This is the ultimate reason to have have aunt-moms. I’m sure Michael, Katie, Addie, Ellie and Callie will all be assigned to sisters and sister-in-law to assist with their kids. I think all the brothers will be assigned to tasks like luggage, etc.

Alyssa and John said they are not going. I can’t see the Paines being able to afford 6 plane tickets. Then there’s Tori and her three very young ones (4 tickets). BUB money is gone, and there’s no way Gil and Kelly are buying tickets for anyone other than their minor children. 

[SassyPants]

12 minutes ago, Guanabana said:

Alyssa and John said they are not going. I can’t see the Paines being able to afford 6 plane tickets. Then there’s Tori and her three very young ones (4 tickets). BUB money is gone, and there’s no way Gil and Kelly are buying tickets for anyone other than their minor children. 

It seems like some of the Bateses married into families with more discretionary income who are also willing to share. I don’t understand the Paines housing or lifestyle choices. I guess Dr Paine is either not as well off as many of the other ILs, or he is unwilling to share his wealth. He does have quite a few kids too. No judgement from me, but I do feel sorry for the Paines in that everyone else seems more financially secure, but maybe this is just their lifestyle preference.

[Gobsmacked]

On 1/23/2022 at 6:25 PM, clueliss said:

Ozzy is off the list due specifically to Ozzy and Izzy.  Name nerds may want to watch this week’s YouTube.

Our beautiful wee Daschund boy is named Ozzy.  No Fundie babies named after him please. 🧐

[Jackie3]

6 hours ago, SassyPants said:

It seems like some of the Bateses married into families with more discretionary income who are also willing to share. I don’t understand the Paines housing or lifestyle choices. I guess Dr Paine is either not as well off as many of the other ILs, or he is unwilling to share his wealth. He does have quite a few kids too. No judgement from me, but I do feel sorry for the Paines in that everyone else seems more financially secure, but maybe this is just their lifestyle preference.

Do many parents give their adult children money for things like mortgage payments? Plane tickets for six? I'm all about helping adult children but these are huge items.

I would imagine the senior Paines are trying to plan for their own retirement, and wouldnt' think of paying for plane tickets for six to one of their DIL's many sibling weddings. And would the Paines even be comfortable accepting such a huge gift?

[Guanabana]

10 hours ago, SassyPants said:

It seems like some of the Bateses married into families with more discretionary income who are also willing to share. I don’t understand the Paines housing or lifestyle choices. I guess Dr Paine is either not as well off as many of the other ILs, or he is unwilling to share his wealth. He does have quite a few kids too. No judgement from me, but I do feel sorry for the Paines in that everyone else seems more financially secure, but maybe this is just their lifestyle preference.

IIRC, the Paines were supposed to move to Chad’s state (forget where), then Erin had the miscarriages and somehow that never happened. Perhaps the senior Paines are basically allowing Chad to deal with the consequences of his poor choices. I would gladly help my child with a down payment on a home. I would not help with plane tickets to a wedding. The Paines seem to practice leave and cleave. I’d like to know how Chad’s married brothers are doing financially. I don’t even know how many siblings he has. 

I feel sorry that their kids are packed like sardines. But Erin and Chad gladly created that situation. The worst part is that Erin would gladly try for another child while stuck in that tiny cottage. Erin truly is her parents’ daughter. 

[SassyPants]

8 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Do many parents give their adult children money for things like mortgage payments? Plane tickets for six? I'm all about helping adult children but these are huge items.

I would imagine the senior Paines are trying to plan for their own retirement, and wouldnt' think of paying for plane tickets for six to one of their DIL's many sibling weddings. And would the Paines even be comfortable accepting such a huge gift?

Yes, many people I know have been recipients of large amounts of money for down payments on homes. Think about Travis Clark. My ILs gifted each of their (7) kids money for homes. They themselves were gifted a home from an aunt and uncle.

We gifted our daughter money for a home in lieu of a fancy wedding.

Will do the same for our son-

I am a Boomer. There’s a ton of money in this generation of people. 

Of course this is intensely personal. My own parents do not give large money gifts or loans. They will pass that on when they die. Different strokes.

And, yes, I realize that this can be seen as entitled. I feel if you work hard and are financially secure, you are entitled to pass on your wealth as you see fit.

 

ETA- Yes, I also know people who gift trips in lieu of materialistic items. I know a family who take their 4 kids and all their GKs (4 so far) on a large annual trip. They’ve done all of Europe (incrementally), Costa Rica, HW (several times), Canadian Rockies, East Coast and Peru/Chile.

We have done this once. It’s just too hard to coordinate schedules with working adults.

Edited March 25, 2022 by SassyPants

[CanadianMamam]

17 hours ago, Guanabana said:

Alyssa and John said they are not going. I can’t see the Paines being able to afford 6 plane tickets. Then there’s Tori and her three very young ones (4 tickets). BUB money is gone, and there’s no way Gil and Kelly are buying tickets for anyone other than their minor children. 

There has also been speculation that Tori might be pregnant again and if that is true, she defintirly won't be there. 

I think Erin will go alone with Finley and possibly Carson. She went to the bridal shower with just the two of them.

10 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

Do many parents give their adult children money for things like mortgage payments? Plane tickets for six? I'm all about helping adult children but these are huge items.

 

My MIL gave us our house downpayment. Of our friends who own their own houses, only one set did so without any help from their parents. Parental help is super common where I am. I read an article about it recently and it states that 30% of Canadian home buyers got their downpayment directly from their parents.

 

[CanadianMamam]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Yes, m

 

ETA- Yes, I also know people who gift trips in lieu of materialistic items. I know a family who take their 4 kids and all their GKs (4 so far) on a large annual trip. They’ve done all of Europe (incrementally), Costa Rica, HW (several times), Canadian Rockies, East Coast and Peru/Chile.

We have done this once. It’s just too hard to coordinate schedules with working adults.

This is my mom. She would much rather gift experiences than buy my kids more toys they don't need. She is taking us all to Disney this year and also pays for my children's lesson as she wants them to have those experiences. I am so incredibly grateful.

 

I also think Chad and Erin are in that tiny house partially out of choice but also because lack of another good option. They have commented they want to buy but I imagine they want a house with a lot of land that is not cheap or easy to come by. Look at how much trouble Carlin had finding a house and I think she and Evan had less strict criteria than the Paines. I get the impression Chad and Erin aren't willing to settle, that they would rather stay in their current place than buy one that doesn't fit their needs. 

[JDuggs]

To be honest, it’s surprising to me that either 1) some of the families can’t scrape together a few thousand dollars to make the trip to their brother’s wedding or 2) their brother’s wedding isn’t a big enough priority, no matter what “season of life” they’re in.

David and Priscilla made the trip to Africa with a bunch of kids. Abbie (M is for Mama) was planning a trip to Europe with her husband and eight kids before canceling due to unplanned newborn twins. These quiverfull families should be capable of taking their broods on big trips while sucking up the difficulty.

I wonder if Tiffany knew in advance that some of Lawson’s siblings wouldn’t make the trip. Are they hurt by this or chill about it?

[Keys]

I also find it odd to miss a sibling’s wedding. I feel like a wedding is a major life event, but obviously the dynamics between families differ greatly.

[postscript]

23 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

Abbie (M is for Mama) was planning a trip to Europe with her husband and eight kids

I initially read that as "hundred and eight kids." 

[Guanabana]

27 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

To be honest, it’s surprising to me that either 1) some of the families can’t scrape together a few thousand dollars to make the trip to their brother’s wedding or 2) their brother’s wedding isn’t a big enough priority, no matter what “season of life” they’re in.

David and Priscilla made the trip to Africa with a bunch of kids. Abbie (M is for Mama) was planning a trip to Europe with her husband and eight kids before canceling due to unplanned newborn twins. These quiverfull families should be capable of taking their broods on big trips while sucking up the difficulty.

I wonder if Tiffany knew in advance that some of Lawson’s siblings wouldn’t make the trip. Are they hurt by this or chill about it?

I’m not surprised, but probably because San Diego is an hour from our home, we have stayed overnight many times since we fly in and out of their airport (leave our car at the hotel). It’s very expensive and more so since things are opening again.

The Paines, Websters, Bateses (Z&W), and Smiths, can’t rent a sedan, they all will need at least a mini van. We were planning to fly to Oregon and a Nissan Rogue (tiny SUV) is $900 for one week. I just check and a mini van May 25-27 is $326 plus tax, so that’s not too bad, but there’s also the cost of gas. I forgot the extra of renting carseats if they don’t want to haul 3-4. This is contingent on arriving Wednesday and departing Friday. 

Then there’s the cost of the hotel rooms, meals, and those little things that always manage to pop up when we travel. I think that is more than a couple thousand dollars. 

I’m too lazy to look it up, but I’m always surprised at the percentage of Americans who can’t absorb an unexpected bill for a thousand dollars or so.
 

Look at Zach, he left a job with benefits, bought a house that they upgraded, had a baby in NICU, and seems to just hang out at BSB. I don’t think they have much money to spare. Chad and Erin are saving for a home and will soon have five kids in one bedroom. They may not want to dip into their savings. 

I have no idea how the other families you mentioned have traveled, but I would not think their absence is about not wanting to be there for Lawson. YMMV

 

 

[Jrodseyeliner]

Wow, so quite a few siblings can’t go now that they have to pay for their own tickets.. That’s a bit sad but it is real life. I mean I don’t think Lawson has missed a wedding of any of his siblings and now it is too hard for them to go.. 

Goes to show I have always been a bit envious of how much travelling they all do with kids in tow for anything and everything but it was all for show. 
My sisters life 90 minutes from me and we find it hard to coordinate get together a due to work, kids, school, sport.. you know normal life stuff 

 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

My guess is that many of the Bates view the Tennessee event as the important one for them, even though it’s not the legally binding one. 

[Guanabana]

1 hour ago, Jrodseyeliner said:

Wow, so quite a few siblings can’t go now that they have to pay for their own tickets.. That’s a bit sad but it is real life. I mean I don’t think Lawson has missed a wedding of any of his siblings and now it is too hard for them to go.. 

Goes to show I have always been a bit envious of how much travelling they all do with kids in tow for anything and everything but it was all for show. 
My sisters life 90 minutes from me and we find it hard to coordinate get together a due to work, kids, school, sport.. you know normal life stuff 

 

I just wanted to clarify that so far only Alyssa has confirmed her family won’t be attending. I included the other families just as an example of the cost being  too much to bring everyone. They have not disclosed their plans.
 

While I don’t think the married kids made much from BUB (too large a pie, and Gil didn’t pay his kids when they worked the tree business with him), it looks like they at least got accommodations and extras. 
 

Michael, Carlin, and Josie will be there.

It remains to be seen what the rest of the marrieds do. Yes, Lawson has attended all his siblings weddings. But the only one out of state was Nathan’s. Plus Lawson only had to pay his way, no wife or kids to worry about. 

I was thinking that having all the free baby sitters in San Diego, especially Michael, will make it difficult for Zach, Erin, and Tori. I’m sure they will work it out. They may surprise us by showing up with all their kids. 

[CanadianMamam]

I think Alyssa not going says the most about Alyssa. I wonder if she really likes most of her family that much. Especially all at once. She seems to prefer when a few of them visit her. 

She may have also out it out there in the YouTube to see if her parents would offer to pay for their tickets (I know people who pull those kind of stunts all the time). 

 

[JDuggs]

1 hour ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

My guess is that many of the Bates view the Tennessee event as the important one for them, even though it’s not the legally binding one. 

I haven’t heard about a Tennessee ceremony or reception. Did someone mention it?

[AussieKrissy]

10 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

This is my mom. She would much rather gift experiences than buy my kids more toys they don't need. She is taking us all to Disney this year and also pays for my children's lesson as she wants them to have those experiences. I am so incredibly grateful.

 

I also think Chad and Erin are in that tiny house partially out of choice but also because lack of another good option. They have commented they want to buy but I imagine they want a house with a lot of land that is not cheap or easy to come by. Look at how much trouble Carlin had finding a house and I think she and Evan had less strict criteria than the Paines. I get the impression Chad and Erin aren't willing to settle, that they would rather stay in their current place than buy one that doesn't fit their needs. 

I know a lot of people bag out the pained for their tiny house. 
I had a small two bedroom property I rented out. The real estate offered me tenants of a larger family. I asked her why such a “big” family would want such a small space, she replied that the big house thing was more of a western thing and other cultures did not mind and even enjoyed living in closer quarters. This really got me thinking and re evaluating housing. 
erins kids live in a clean warm dry house with fresh linen and food. I don’t think the size is a bad thing at the moment when the kids are so little. If they are still living like this when the kids hit puberty the. I might start to judge. But for now they are safe clean and well provided for (usually disclaimer who knows what happened behind closed doors and yes dangerous cult). And yes I do live in an climate where you can go outside all day every day of the year if you wanted too. I get that they can’t. 

[Tangy Bee]

@AussieKrissyI keep forgetting these are little kids at the moment and their room is meant for sleeping. Guess we could assume they will have a bigger house when the kids are older. Everyone was able to make Nathan's wedding probably because it was on the Atlantic Coast end. Plus a few of the little relatives were in the wedding.

[just_ordinary]

6 hours ago, JDuggs said:

To be honest, it’s surprising to me that either 1) some of the families can’t scrape together a few thousand dollars to make the trip to their brother’s wedding or 2) their brother’s wedding isn’t a big enough priority, no matter what “season of life” they’re in.

David and Priscilla made the trip to Africa with a bunch of kids. Abbie (M is for Mama) was planning a trip to Europe with her husband and eight kids before canceling due to unplanned newborn twins. These quiverfull families should be capable of taking their broods on big trips while sucking up the difficulty.

I wonder if Tiffany knew in advance that some of Lawson’s siblings wouldn’t make the trip. Are they hurt by this or chill about it?

If there are two events I think it’s fine to go to just one if money is tight. Like, if I plan a destination wedding (distances in the US sometimes would make it one here) I cannot expect everyone to show up.

I am surprised they didn’t put the binding ceremony closer to the location where most guests are from. If T&L were hell bent on making sure they guests could attend that’s what they should have done (obviously you must priorities that those people are with you when you take this important step over cool location). But I also am surprised because marriage is such a BIG concept in their cult. You would think they all make more of an effort to witness this. 
 

In the end, it’s very nice that some people learn that their privileges came from tv money and not because they let such a godly lifestyle. Let’s see how perceptive Jesus is nowadays to their prayers…. I mean he could make it happen, couldn’t he? 😈

[CanadianMamam]

8 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

I know a lot of people bag out the pained for their tiny house. 
I had a small two bedroom property I rented out. The real estate offered me tenants of a larger family. I asked her why such a “big” family would want such a small space, she replied that the big house thing was more of a western thing and other cultures did not mind and even enjoyed living in closer quarters. This really got me thinking and re evaluating housing. 
erins kids live in a clean warm dry house with fresh linen and food. I don’t think the size is a bad thing at the moment when the kids are so little. If they are still living like this when the kids hit puberty the. I might start to judge. But for now they are safe clean and well provided for (usually disclaimer who knows what happened behind closed doors and yes dangerous cult). And yes I do live in an climate where you can go outside all day every day of the year if you wanted too. I get that they can’t. 

My mom and I were just talking about this yesterday. She was one of 8, they lived in a 3 bedroom house. It was crowded. Now there is lots about her childhood she hated, But the house? No big deal to her. We were discussing my need to get away by myself for the night and she said she would hate that.

My husband also grew up in a 3 bedroom house with 9 people and the crowding didn't bother him. Sharing a room was a fact of life to him. 

Our 4 bedroom house often feels too small for 6 people to me, but I am an only child and grew up having a ton of space. Everyone else in my house Rolls with it because they have always shared space. 

Erin and Chad both came from big families. A crowded House is probably normal to them. And the kids are still very young and do spend a LOT of time outside