M Is for Mama 11: 10 Kids is 10 too Many for a Narcissistic, Disinterested Person

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Braggie is either bragging about how amazing her kids are and how much better they are than mainstream kids. Or she’s verbally shitting all over them. There’s no in between.

and sometimes both at the same time. That pat on the back is hiding a knife. I lived it. 

[danvillebelle]

Happy Birthday, Della.  Only 7 more years of changing diapers, free babysitting and doing your mom's chores until you can make a break for it.

[JermajestyDuggar]

19 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

Happy Birthday, Della.  Only 7 more years of changing diapers, free babysitting and doing your mom's chores until you can make a break for it.

I bet she’s taking on a lot now that Ezra and Simon are older. Braggie probably allows the boys to do extracurriculars because she wants them to get into college. Fella probably has to stay home a lot and watch the little kids. 

[danvillebelle]

She can't even borrow from her sacred date night budget and spring for a cake for the kid...she sticks 11 candles in an eclair and calls it done.  

[SassyPants]

I  refuse to cut this lady a break. Despite having had every advantage in life, she refuses to extend those same opportunities to her own blessings from the Lord. She refuses to make her children, that she keeps delivering like a Pez dispenser, the priority,  as opposed to herself. She is an immature shrew, no matter all the Jesus speak. And I’ll say it again, it only barely works because her parents and ILs , not to mention friends, all co-parent. Does anyone think she’ll do the same for her GRANDCHILDREN? No way. The truest thing to ever come from her mouth was when she has said, on numerous occasions, that she never grew up wanting to be a mother, let alone to many children. True, very true. She doesn’t want to be a mother now! 

[danvillebelle]

She just posted a list of things she's thankful for about each of her kids.  How very telling that the first thing that comes to mind for Ezra, Simon and Della are things that BENEFIT HER.  -------

"We read together, do chores together, watch movies together, worship God together, get irritated at each other, forgive each other, make each other laugh, make each other scream, give each other back scratches, and give each other whacks on the head (ahem, Theo, Honor, and Shiloh).

We are both a close-knit unit and a group of fiercely unique individuals.

When I taught high school Spanish, I interacted with 60-90 kids a day. And I knew all their names and a fair bit about each of their lives.

So, you better believe I’ve memorized these 10 precious souls the Lord has given me backwards and forwards like a much-loved storybook full of my favorite verses and rhymes.

So, instead of just a generic “Thank you, Lord, for my family,” I’m going to thank him for specific things about them (and then tell make sure to tell them later).

So, thank you, Lord, for:

Shaun’s calm, steady, kind consistency.

Ezra’s quickness to ask if he can help with anything.

Simon’s willingness to spend hours playing with his younger siblings

Della’s singing lullabies to the babies + Shiloh

Evy’s habit of sidling up and giving me hugs at the best possible moment.

Nola’s love for baking treats for the whole family.

Theo’s enthusiastic thankfulness for dinner every day, regardless of what it is.

Honor’s winsome smiles + cheerful chatter.

Shiloh’s obsession with saying, “Thank you, Mama!”

Titus’s sparkly, mischievous personality.

Toby’s snuggles + full body smiles.

[feministxtian]

that list is still uber generic and full of shit that benefits her. Try this:

Kid #1 - her drive, her strength, her snarky remarks, her huge heart, her ambition, balancing full time work, full time school, a kid, a partner and a house full of 4 legged creatures.

Kid #2 - amazing dad. All about providing security for his family. ambitious, idea driven, handsome, goofy, has his little girls right where they want him. Crazy in love with his wife.

Kid #3 - trying to make it as a pro musician. In a band that gigs regularly, soft-hearted, funny without meaning to be, impatient, big heart, amazingly loving, still growing into the man he's supposed to be. 

That's a short list. 

[theotherelise]

None of these kids are on IG. You're just performing "motherhood". That's the only reason why you mention the spanish teaching too, to let us know you're not like the other SAHMs, you're a cool SAHM who's done things. It's insufferable. 

Also, it's creepy to say that you know your children's souls. How about no. They are not extensions of you to be paraded out for likes and book sales because you have this all so figured out. Your children have inner lives and experiences and dreams that don't have anything to do with you. They have a natural right to agency and self-determination.

Anytime someone else mentions that something about parenting is HARD, Abbie creates an entire narrative about how that means they (and all of culture somehow?) think having kids is BAD. Abbie is the one who has to repeat that to herself all the time. Someone remarking that parenting teenagers is hard is actually just stating a fact. It's hard to figure out when to let a developing young adult learn from mistakes versus protecting them and how much independence is right and how to be consistent across teenage children even when they might have different needs. She just wants to be the only person allowed to say that parenting is hard (but sanctifying!) so she can judge everyone else and feel like she's the best.

God, she annoys me.

[JermajestyDuggar]

28 minutes ago, danvillebelle said:

She just posted a list of things she's thankful for about each of her kids.  How very telling that the first thing that comes to mind for Ezra, Simon and Della are things that BENEFIT HER.  -------

"We read together, do chores together, watch movies together, worship God together, get irritated at each other, forgive each other, make each other laugh, make each other scream, give each other back scratches, and give each other whacks on the head (ahem, Theo, Honor, and Shiloh).

We are both a close-knit unit and a group of fiercely unique individuals.

When I taught high school Spanish, I interacted with 60-90 kids a day. And I knew all their names and a fair bit about each of their lives.

So, you better believe I’ve memorized these 10 precious souls the Lord has given me backwards and forwards like a much-loved storybook full of my favorite verses and rhymes.

So, instead of just a generic “Thank you, Lord, for my family,” I’m going to thank him for specific things about them (and then tell make sure to tell them later).

So, thank you, Lord, for:

Shaun’s calm, steady, kind consistency.

Ezra’s quickness to ask if he can help with anything.

Simon’s willingness to spend hours playing with his younger siblings

Della’s singing lullabies to the babies + Shiloh

Evy’s habit of sidling up and giving me hugs at the best possible moment.

Nola’s love for baking treats for the whole family.

Theo’s enthusiastic thankfulness for dinner every day, regardless of what it is.

Honor’s winsome smiles + cheerful chatter.

Shiloh’s obsession with saying, “Thank you, Mama!”

Titus’s sparkly, mischievous personality.

Toby’s snuggles + full body smiles.

This list says so much about Braggie. She’s so selfish and self absorbed. Everything is about her her her. 

[danvillebelle]

@theotherelise

  That was brilliant and spot-on. 

 

I imagine Shiloh is "obsessed with saying Thank you Mama" because he learned quickly it keeps Mama off his back for a few minutes.

 

Edited November 22, 2021 by danvillebelle

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m watching Annie with Carol Burnett and I can’t help but see Braggie as Mrs Hannigan. Neither women like kids. But both are stuck in situations dealing with a bunch of kids they never wanted. Braggie because she can’t admit she was wrong god wanted her to have a big family. And Mrs Hannigan because she has no other options as a single woman in the depression. 

[SuperNova]

1 hour ago, danvillebelle said:

"We read together, do chores together, watch movies together, worship God together, get irritated at each other, forgive each other, make each other laugh, make each other scream, give each other back scratches, and give each other whacks on the head (ahem, Theo, Honor, and Shiloh).

We are both a close-knit unit and a group of fiercely unique individuals.

This was to explain how they're just exactly like a small family. Once again Abbie needs to be all things to all people all the time.

These things are simple human behaviors and not connected to number of children. Abbie's brood is not like a small family at all. She can't decide to do anything spur of the moment without planning. She can't run off for the weekend with one of the kids without the others being left behind. Children from small families aren't parentified the same way as they are in large families. Simon wouldn't have to play with little kids for hours, Nola would be able to bake for fun and not out of obligation. I'm sure Abbie would disagree with my assessment and that's fine. I'm not the one trying to convince others that all the kids I never wanted are really the best thing ever. 

[EmiSue]

Just had to get her Shiloh digs in there--he whacks them on the head because he's, you know, 2, and her favorite thing about him is he's obsessed with saying "Thank you Mama?" Lots of one on one bonding going on with those two all right🙄

[SassyPants]

Just like with every other prolific procreators we talk about on FJ, the H’s don’t understand that each additional dependent child needs and deserves individual parental time and attention. You can never do more for or with 8, 10…that you can do with/for a smaller, a more manageable sized family. ALSO, the more kids you have the less individual parent and couple’s time that you will have! A healthy mega family is incongruent when one parent, especially the primary parent, is a narcissist.

Edited November 22, 2021 by SassyPants

[Tatar-tot]

2 hours ago, danvillebelle said:

She just posted a list of things she's thankful for about each of her kids.  How very telling that the first thing that comes to mind for Ezra, Simon and Della are things that BENEFIT HER.  -------

"We read together, do chores together, watch movies together, worship God together, get irritated at each other, forgive each other, make each other laugh, make each other scream, give each other back scratches, and give each other whacks on the head (ahem, Theo, Honor, and Shiloh).

We are both a close-knit unit and a group of fiercely unique individuals.

When I taught high school Spanish, I interacted with 60-90 kids a day. And I knew all their names and a fair bit about each of their lives.

So, you better believe I’ve memorized these 10 precious souls the Lord has given me backwards and forwards like a much-loved storybook full of my favorite verses and rhymes.

So, instead of just a generic “Thank you, Lord, for my family,” I’m going to thank him for specific things about them (and then tell make sure to tell them later).

So, thank you, Lord, for:

Shaun’s calm, steady, kind consistency.

Ezra’s quickness to ask if he can help with anything.

Simon’s willingness to spend hours playing with his younger siblings

Della’s singing lullabies to the babies + Shiloh

Evy’s habit of sidling up and giving me hugs at the best possible moment.

Nola’s love for baking treats for the whole family.

Theo’s enthusiastic thankfulness for dinner every day, regardless of what it is.

Honor’s winsome smiles + cheerful chatter.

Shiloh’s obsession with saying, “Thank you, Mama!”

Titus’s sparkly, mischievous personality.

Toby’s snuggles + full body smiles.

So when is the adoption finalized?

[feministxtian]

10 minutes ago, EmiSue said:

Just had to get her Shiloh digs in there--he whacks them on the head because he's, you know, 2, and her favorite thing about him is he's obsessed with saying "Thank you Mama?" Lots of one on one bonding going on with those two all right🙄

one of itty-bitty's favorite things to do is take a stuffie and sling it at who/whatever. She's 16 months old! She likes to throw/drop balls, yell loudly when she's frustrated, point, grunt and eventually have a meltdown if you do not provide her with what she's pointing at. God forbid you tell her no! She has no fucking idea what "thank you" is. I mean, she is queen of the mountain and she will demand things from her minions. I showed her how to "feed" her stuffies and she likes to do that too. But, she's still just a baby at 16 months. I can't imagine getting knocked up to "replace" the baby. Fortunately, unless there's a BC fail, that ain't gonna happen any time in the near future. My DIL wants one more. My son is not crazy about the idea. 

Seriously, who hasn't had at least one spirited, rowdy child? I have a friend who has 4 boys. That's chaos. However, she loves every minute of it. She's self-employed so she has the time to homeschool and take them on adventures. 

I feel sorry for Braggie's kids. her stupid "hard is not the same as bad" hashtag is fucking idiotic. Nobody, nowhere ever said that parenting was like an 18+ year vacation. She teaches the kids Spanish...BFD! My kids picked it up from hearing me, the mother and my aunt speak it. I don't think any of them took Spanish in high school either. They just picked it up. 

Braggie, I am SO not impressed with you. 

[SassyPants]

3 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

one of itty-bitty's favorite things to do is take a stuffie and sling it at who/whatever. She's 16 months old! She likes to throw/drop balls, yell loudly when she's frustrated, point, grunt and eventually have a meltdown if you do not provide her with what she's pointing at. God forbid you tell her no! She has no fucking idea what "thank you" is. I mean, she is queen of the mountain and she will demand things from her minions. I showed her how to "feed" her stuffies and she likes to do that too. But, she's still just a baby at 16 months. I can't imagine getting knocked up to "replace" the baby. Fortunately, unless there's a BC fail, that ain't gonna happen any time in the near future. My DIL wants one more. My son is not crazy about the idea. 

Seriously, who hasn't had at least one spirited, rowdy child? I have a friend who has 4 boys. That's chaos. However, she loves every minute of it. She's self-employed so she has the time to homeschool and take them on adventures. 

I feel sorry for Braggie's kids. her stupid "hard is not the same as bad" hashtag is fucking idiotic. Nobody, nowhere ever said that parenting was like an 18+ year vacation. She teaches the kids Spanish...BFD! My kids picked it up from hearing me, the mother and my aunt speak it. I don't think any of them took Spanish in high school either. They just picked it up. 

Braggie, I am SO not impressed with you. 

She tries so hard to not be labeled “ordinary.” The perfect little narcissist. She should try harder at healthy parenting. 

[feministxtian]

2 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

She tries so hard to not be labeled “ordinary.” The perfect little narcissist. She should try harder at healthy parenting. 

JFC...who fkn cares. Not me yo! Talk to me when your little "pets" are all grown up. A gringa Spanish teacher...woo woo, just like most of the Spanish faculty in schools across the USA. I think the reason she gets so under my skin is she is the mother, just with more kids. 

[SassyPants]

2 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

JFC...who fkn cares. Not me yo! Talk to me when your little "pets" are all grown up. A gringa Spanish teacher...woo woo, just like most of the Spanish faculty in schools across the USA. I think the reason she gets so under my skin is she is the mother, just with more kids. 

I can’t tell you why she bugs me so much, but to me she is worse than JB Duggar and Steve Maxwell, combined. She really is the female equivalent of JB Duggar. She’s a user and a shyster. She thinks sane people don’t see through her Jesus, mommy, persona. She using religion both as a weapon and a shield. She has a persecution complex and is 100% closed minded and snarky. She represents what is wrong with so much of Christianity.

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I can’t tell you why she bugs me so much, but to me she is worse than JB Duggar and Steve Maxwell, combined. She really is the female equivalent of JB Duggar. She’s a user and a shyster. She thinks sane people don’t see through her Jesus, mommy, persona. She using religion both as a weapon and a shield. She has a persecution complex and is 100% closed minded and snarky. She represents what is wrong with so much of Christianity.

I think she reminds me most of Lori. She’s so overprivileged and refuses to even acknowledge it. And then looks down her nose at everyone except a few fundies she fangirls. 

[shesinsane]

8 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m watching Annie with Carol Burnett and I can’t help but see Braggie as Mrs Hannigan. Neither women like kids. But both are stuck in situations dealing with a bunch of kids they never wanted. Braggie because she can’t admit she was wrong god wanted her to have a big family. And Mrs Hannigan because she has no other options as a single woman in the depression. 

I listen to a radio show where Jody Hamilton regularly makes an appearance. She's the daughter of Carol Burnett, and has noticed that her friends assume things about her mom based on her acting roles. People Jody's age (born in the 60s) remember her from the Carol Burnett Show and think she must have been a fun mom. Younger people remember her from Annie and think she must have been a nightmare of a parent.

Jody talks about her in good terms, it's safe to say Carol Burnett is no Miss Hannigan IRL.  

[SassyPants]

11 hours ago, shesinsane said:

I listen to a radio show where Jody Hamilton regularly makes an appearance. She's the daughter of Carol Burnett, and has noticed that her friends assume things about her mom based on her acting roles. People Jody's age (born in the 60s) remember her from the Carol Burnett Show and think she must have been a fun mom. Younger people remember her from Annie and think she must have been a nightmare of a parent.

Jody talks about her in good terms, it's safe to say Carol Burnett is no Miss Hannigan IRL.  

I think JD’s comment meant that Abbie is like Miss Hannigan not Carol Burnett.

[JermajestyDuggar]

The 1982 Annie has villains played by actors I love. I always enjoy a movie more when the villains are my favorite actors. Who doesn’t love Carol Burnett, Tim Curry, and Bernadette Peters?

[bea]

None of these kids are on IG. You're just performing "motherhood".

Anytime someone else mentions that something about parenting is HARD, Abbie creates an entire narrative about how that means they (and all of culture somehow?) think having kids is BAD.

I hope I edited the quote correctly.
SPOT ON, the thing about performing. Abbie is into performative motherhood, not actually…you know, being a mother.
And she’s really into martyrdom, for someone who isn’t Catholic. Anyone commenting on
A N Y T H I N G
to her is always ascribed the worst possible motivations and intentions. No, they’re not telling you that you don’t know anything until you have a teenage girl. They’re either just commenting on the fact that your oldest is a boy, or telling you that parenting adolescent girls is different than parenting adolescent boys. Someone saying “that’s a lot of kids!” isn’t passing judgement on your choices, they’re stating a FACT, ten kids is a lot. Any comment made in passing to Abbie is seen as an attack.
I guess as a reasonably well off white lady, in an evangelical church, in Texas, she has to look really hard for ways to feel oppressed.

[SassyPants]

Ugh…today she’s expounding on Rittenhouse and the verdict. She totally discounts why he was there and why he, a 17 YO living with his mom in IL, had a gun in WI. She refuses to acknowledge that if the judge hadn’t dropped  the weapons charge, there would be no self defense to consider!