M Is for Mama 11: 10 Kids is 10 too Many for a Narcissistic, Disinterested Person

[SuperNova]

It's a safe bet to say that most of Abbie's readers are not as financially well off as she and Shaun are. The hypocrisy of offering up her Jesus as the answer to her parenting "success" is ridiculous. It's nothing to do with Jesus and everything to do with the amazing surplus of resources at her disposal. She can afford to stay home and homeschool, she has many enrichment resources available like ballet and robotics classes, they live in a large home where they can spread out, she has hired help, a family support system, vacations and day trips. They don't suffer from food insecurity.

I'm not saying that you can't be financially well off and give sound advice, I just don't think Abbie is the person to do it. She doesn't actually offer anything useful beyond the tired trope about trusting the Lord, which is hard to do when you're trying to put food on the table. She would be singing a much different tune if Shaun didn't make so much money. She probably wouldn't be on Instagram at all because she'd be working instead. She wouldn't have time to curate her life to convince people she's a good mom. She would have to actually put in the physical and emotional work instead of paying to farm it out. 

Abbie says "perspective matters" but thats hard for her because she always has her head up her own ass. It's comically outrageous that she ends another soapbox post with a comment about being humble and teachable.

Spoiler

 

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Not to mention whooping cough can be fatal for babies

[JermajestyDuggar]

Way to call Jenny Flanders old. 😂

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, SuperNova said:

It's a safe bet to say that most of Abbie's readers are not as financially well off as she and Shaun are. The hypocrisy of offering up her Jesus as the answer to her parenting "success" is ridiculous. It's nothing to do with Jesus and everything to do with the amazing surplus of resources at her disposal. She can afford to stay home and homeschool, she has many enrichment resources available like ballet and robotics classes, they live in a large home where they can spread out, she has hired help, a family support system, vacations and day trips. They don't suffer from food insecurity.

I'm not saying that you can't be financially well off and give sound advice, I just don't think Abbie is the person to do it. She doesn't actually offer anything useful beyond the tired trope about trusting the Lord, which is hard to do when you're trying to put food on the table. She would be singing a much different tune if Shaun didn't make so much money. She probably wouldn't be on Instagram at all because she'd be working instead. She wouldn't have time to curate her life to convince people she's a good mom. She would have to actually put in the physical and emotional work instead of paying to farm it out. 

Abbie says "perspective matters" but thats hard for her because she always has her head up her own ass. It's comically outrageous that she ends another soapbox post with a comment about being humble and teachable.

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I wish I could give AH the STFU emoji-

[danvillebelle]

She doesn't have a humble, teachable atom in her body.  Narcissistic twatwaffle.  

And it's LEACH, not LEECH, Ms. Published Author.  I'll say a prayer for your editor.

[klein_roeschen]

9 hours ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

I feel like there was somebody discussed recently in a thread (Abbie's or maybe Lori's?) who was going on about how hard it was that some or all of her kids had whooping cough and how terrible they sounded and how worried and sleep-deprived she was... And I just wanted to bang my head against the keyboard because, dammit, THAT is why doctors recommend pertussis boosters in pregnancy and the DTaP for babies as soon as possible! It's martyring yourself and making your children suffer for no reason at all, barring medical reasons to not get it.

So she was sleep deprieved and worried, but her children suffered from coughing until they turned blue or throw up! Little fun fact about pertussis: babies younger than 6 months can't cough and just stop breathing when it is bad enough. It's discussed that some cases of SIDS are not detected cases of pertussis.

I'm a childfree woman and among the Covid shots and my yearly flu shot in the fall I got my DTaP booster this year as recommened every 10 years. Both my doggie and I are up to date with every recommened vaxx. And if I had children, I would have gotten them vaxxed at the earliest posssible, because of all the woo loving anti vaxxers.

[ophelia]

1 hour ago, klein_roeschen said:

So she was sleep deprieved and worried, but her children suffered from coughing until they turned blue or throw up! Little fun fact about pertussis: babies younger than 6 months can't cough and just stop breathing when it is bad enough. It's discussed that some cases of SIDS are not detected cases of pertussis.

I'm a childfree woman and among the Covid shots and my yearly flu shot in the fall I got my DTaP booster this year as recommened every 10 years. Both my doggie and I are up to date with every recommened vaxx. And if I had children, I would have gotten them vaxxed at the earliest posssible, because of all the woo loving anti vaxxers.

I had pertussis back in the 80s when I was a really young child. My mother says it was a nightmare and that‘s one of the reasons that I got the pertussis vaccination at the end of my pregnancy. And I got the covid shot which left a lot of other pregnant people in schock and I received a lot of criticism. 
Our baby will get all the recommended shots and I could see a lot of relief in our pediatrician‘s face when he realized we were pro-vaccinations.

[NotQuiteMotY]

6 hours ago, ophelia said:

Our baby will get all the recommended shots and I could see a lot of relief in our pediatrician‘s face when he realized we were pro-vaccinations.

I think a lot of pediatricians have to spend time fighting it with parents. When I made a comment to ours about the chicken pox vaccine feeling "new" to me, she started to tell me about chicken pox-induced encephalitis and looked so relieved when I said, "Oh, I'm getting the baby it, it's just weird because I remember having chicken pox."  Ditto when, with our second, she heard me tell him at one appointment that it was a little pinch now, yeah, but it would keep him from being very sick later. She even said she was glad to hear me say that. It's depressing to me how many parents refuse to help protect their children from diseases that can be prevented.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I was vaccinated for whooping cough as a baby back in the dark ages..  I caught it around 2009 from my boss. Who kept coming to work with what he said was was a cold and allergies.

After a couple of days coughing I went to the Dr. with what I thought was my yearly bronchitis. Nope - whooping cough.  She could tell just by hearing my cough as she came down the hall. I said but how -- I'm vaccinated. She said well yes, but the vaccine wears off. That was news to me. 

As I was already well into it, the doc told me to stay away from the elderly, pregnant women and children, especially babies. I let my boss know he'd given me whooping cough. He denied it, but then admitted it and said he didn't think he'd spread it as he kept to his office.  Well yeah, he did and then had all his meetings in there.

People, especially bosses, who come to work sick and spread it around chap my lips. I got strep years and years ago when my brought his 5 year old son in one day and let him have the run of the office. Boss told us all 2 days later that the boy had already been sick with strep when his was in the office and boss "hoped no one would catch it."  

 

Edited November 12, 2021 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[danvillebelle]

I don't understand it either.  I'm so grateful that my son and DIL are getting our grandson vaxxed with everything as soon as it's safe for him (and not allowing people unvaxxed for Covid around him).  I have a vivid memory of getting my polio drops; I can remember the taste on my tongue and the ped saying how important it was. ❤️

[SassyPants]

10 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

So she was sleep deprieved and worried, but her children suffered from coughing until they turned blue or throw up! Little fun fact about pertussis: babies younger than 6 months can't cough and just stop breathing when it is bad enough. It's discussed that some cases of SIDS are not detected cases of pertussis.

I'm a childfree woman and among the Covid shots and my yearly flu shot in the fall I got my DTaP booster this year as recommened every 10 years. Both my doggie and I are up to date with every recommened vaxx. And if I had children, I would have gotten them vaxxed at the earliest posssible, because of all the woo loving anti vaxxers.

I get my DTap on the years I turn 30, 40 …it makes it easy to remember when I’m due.

Edited November 12, 2021 by SassyPants

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’ve basically come up with an answer to some of the anti-vax sentiment. It’s all just my opinion. I’m not saying this is scientific fact or anything. Where I’m from is rural, working class, trump country where drugs have made a large impact in the last 10-15 years. A lot of people have not had a lot of choices in their lives. The less money you have, the less choices you have. On top of that, the vaccine has become political thanks to trump and social media. So those who have had few choices in their lives, feel like they want to exercise their ability to choose. They want to feel like they have more choice in their lives. And it makes them feel good to choose not to do something the government has asked them to do. The government hasn’t done a whole lot for a lot of working class and lower class people in this country. I’m not making excuses for these people. But I’m starting to get why some people don’t want to do what the government wants them to do. Yes, it’s the wrong decision. I wish it was different. But I feel like getting these people to choose the vax would mean going back in time and making a ton of societal changes. 

[feministxtian]

My grandson's gestational carrier refused to have him vaccinated because he was "so fragile". Ok, yeah, he was born early and on the small side (barely 5 pounds at 36 weeks), but there was NOTHING fragile about that kid. He got Whooping Cough, and my daughter (who is his parent now) went OFF on the gestational carrier. Bear (not his real name) almost died from that. I know he's totally up to date on his shots now and I think he's also gotten the COVID shot already. My granddaughter who was born in Mongolia allegedly got all her shots but they're from China. She has titers done yearly and got the TDaP booster before itty bitty was born. Grandma got a shit load of boosters before itty bitty's birth. Our family is all about the science, the health, and all that shit. No woo here. Thing is, the anti-vax crowd here in Colorado seems to be the young, hip crowd. 

[danvillebelle]

Someone hit a nerve.  

FB Commenter: I think it’s Important to stress to mothers too in your DM’s that IG is a reel of what you want the world to see vs. often the reality. That’s why we can’t compare! We’re all trying our best. Motherhood is such a rewarding journey 

Braggie: (bolding mine)

"while I agree that social media often doesn’t reflect the nitty gritty of everyday life (although my stories about our bout with a stomach bug last weekend ), what you’re saying is that I’m literally misrepresenting our family (putting forth what I want people to see instead of what the reality is), which is definitely not something I’m ok with.

I get the “this is a highlight reel” sentiment and agree it can be, but if what I “want world to see” is that I enjoy my kids, and motherhood is a blessing even when it’s hard, but the reality is, I can’t stand them, and motherhood drives me crazy, that would be nothing short of dishonest. (And isn’t how I feel at all).

Perhaps this feels like semantics, but I just wanted to clarify that what I share—whether it’s a Sunday pic of us all dressed up or stories where Shiloh is perpetually wearing just a diaper —actually is our reality, even if it’s not every last detail of it."

 

You bet it's not every last detail.  You conveniently leave out how much extra help you have, on the regular.  And those of us who have close experience with narcissists know that yes, you ARE "literally misrepresenting" YOURSELF.  Because in that middle paragraph, you told the truth for once.  

[smittykins]

2 hours ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

I think a lot of pediatricians have to spend time fighting it with parents. When I made a comment to ours about the chicken pox vaccine feeling "new" to me, she started to tell me about chicken pox-induced encephalitis and looked so relieved when I said, "Oh, I'm getting the baby it, it's just weird because I remember having chicken pox."  Ditto when, with our second, she heard me tell him at one appointment that it was a little pinch now, yeah, but it would keep him from being very sick later. She even said she was glad to hear me say that. It's depressing to me how many parents refuse to help protect their children from diseases that can be prevented.

I remember when the chicken pox vaccine came out, there was some pushback  about “Is it really necessary?” because it’s(usually)mild for most children, and “Is it just so parents won’t have to take time off from work to take care of their kids?”

[danvillebelle]

9 minutes ago, smittykins said:

I remember when the chicken pox vaccine came out, there was some pushback  about “Is it really necessary?” because it’s(usually)mild for most children, and “Is it just so parents won’t have to take time off from work to take care of their kids?”

I remember that too, my kids were little.  I also remember one family at our then-church whose kids all got the chicken pox, and they brought them to church anyway because "then other families can just get it over with."  I shit you not. 

Another vivid childhood memory, one of my first...standing naked in my room while my mother dabbed calamine lotion all. over. my body.  My dad's best friend was a doctor and he said at the time mine was one of the worst cases he'd ever seen.  I have two small scars on my face from it.

[smittykins]

I was 10 when I got it, and as a single parent, Mom taking time off from work wasn’t an option(she arranged for my babysitter to come to our house, rather than me going to hers).

[Hane]

Some years back, before the varicella vaccine started taking off, we started seeing particularly vicious cases of chicken pox around here. One mom told me her little boy got painful lesions on his genitals. My 30-year-old colleague, who had never had chicken pox as a child, caught it from her kids and wound up in he ICU.

[SassyPants]

My first kid had the CP on Thanksgiving, the second, you guessed it, Christmas. This was early 90s before the CP vaccine was available.

[klein_roeschen]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ve basically come up with an answer to some of the anti-vax sentiment. It’s all just my opinion. I’m not saying this is scientific fact or anything. Where I’m from is rural, working class, trump country where drugs have made a large impact in the last 10-15 years. A lot of people have not had a lot of choices in their lives. The less money you have, the less choices you have. On top of that, the vaccine has become political thanks to trump and social media. So those who have had few choices in their lives, feel like they want to exercise their ability to choose. They want to feel like they have more choice in their lives. And it makes them feel good to choose not to do something the government has asked them to do. The government hasn’t done a whole lot for a lot of working class and lower class people in this country. I’m not making excuses for these people. But I’m starting to get why some people don’t want to do what the government wants them to do. Yes, it’s the wrong decision. I wish it was different. But I feel like getting these people to choose the vax would mean going back in time and making a ton of societal changes. 

I agree with what you write. But another thought on the matter, I read some time ago a very interesting article about the working class and their history of lack of concern for their health. Historically, the working class where worked to the bone and they accepted that. And gave that attitude to the next generation. If you work a physically demanding job for shitty pay and no benefits, you accept that you won't reach retirement age at a state to enjoy it or at all. And the same attitute carries over to things like covid and other infectious deseases. And for some of them, this lack of health concern became some kind of class pride.

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

30 minutes ago, klein_roeschen said:

I agree with what you write. But another thought on the matter, I read some time ago a very interesting article about the working class and their history of lack of concern for their health. Historically, the working class where worked to the bone and they accepted that. And gave that attitude to the next generation. If you work a physically demanding job for shitty pay and no benefits, you accept that you won't reach retirement age at a state to enjoy it or at all. And the same attitute carries over to things like covid and other infectious deseases. And for some of them, this lack of health concern became some kind of class pride.

 

 

I can see that too. If you can’t afford to even go to the doctor regularly, you’re probably going to just accept it. 

[NotQuiteMotY]

5 hours ago, smittykins said:

“Is it just so parents won’t have to take time off from work to take care of their kids?”

But... that's kind of a valid concern for families where one or both parents can't? Isn't that one of the arguments now for getting and keeping kids in school, so that parents can work? Not everyone is lucky enough to have sick/vacation days they can burn and someone to watch the kids while they're at work.

[SassyPants]

23 minutes ago, NotQuiteMotY said:

But... that's kind of a valid concern for families where one or both parents can't? Isn't that one of the arguments now for getting and keeping kids in school, so that parents can work? Not everyone is lucky enough to have sick/vacation days they can burn and someone to watch the kids while they're at work.

I worked as an ICU nurse for 35 years and there was only one time when I was out of attendance compliance, and it was when my kids had chicken pox. Although there were no real ramifications, I’m sure for some workers there would be though.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Sick leave is such bullshit in this country with so many other things. People come to work sick because they could get fired otherwise. So they spread their germs to everyone. Or they bring their sick kids to work because no one can watch them. It’s too bad there aren’t more places kids can be watched last minute. Many times parents don’t need regular childcare. But sometimes they need childcare last minute for just a day or two. I remember times in my childhood when my parents were scrambling to find someone to watch me when I was home sick from school. Many kids during the pandemic just stayed home alone all day long because their parents had to work and they couldn’t get a sitter. 

Edited November 12, 2021 by JermajestyDuggar

[SuperNova]

Abbie, the voice of reason and fount of secular knowledge, is back to tell her echo chamber all about the world hating dads. Dads are under attack.

Spoiler

I don't want to take anything away from parents who are active in their children's lives but I think these fathers in the halls of school have a little less to with having a penis and more to do with having visible adult authority figures present. The effect would be the same if it was a group of moms patrolling the halls.

Also, it physically pains me that Abbie uses the word "diverse" and Dennis Prager in the same sentence. Prager is huge a piece of shit. Voddie Bauchum isn't much better.

I do appreciate that Abbie didn't try to trot Shaun out as a shining beacon of exemplary fatherhood. There's a few pics of him but we are blessedly spared from hearing how great it is when he "babysits" his own kids by locking himself in his office while the 9 year olds work the stove.