Joy & Austin 32: Living the Fundie Dream with Rifles, RVs & Babies

[JanasTattooParlor]

5 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I can be a source for this.  I have astigmatism and needed a new Rx for my glasses every pregnancy.  It's due to retaining more fluid and it changes the curve of the cornea.  (astigmatism is a corneal waviness (for lack of a better word before coffee) and when you have more fluid it makes your vision wonky.

My vision going weird was one of my earliest signs of pregnancy, just didn't realize it the first time of course.  

I also have astigmatism and this is really good to know! I’m a couple years off from having kids, but it’s good to know that my already terrible vision is going to get worse ?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

14 minutes ago, JanasTattooParlor said:

I also have astigmatism and this is really good to know! I’m a couple years off from having kids, but it’s good to know that my already terrible vision is going to get worse ?

Not necessarily worse, though.  I had to have a different script when pregnant, but after my second pregnancy my old script was too strong and my eyesight actually improved a bit.  

Also, my migraines went from at least weekly before kids to maybe a couple of times a year at best until peri-menopause, so for me pregnancy left me with much improved migraine health and better eyesight!

(I did think for a while my shoe size went up by .5 but then I realized after kids I was just buying cheaper shoes which tend to run smaller....took me a while to figure out my feet went back to normal a lot faster than my finances  )

21 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I'm always surprised people have hope for Joy and Austin doing things differently and becoming more mainstream. I consider these two to be two of the most hardcore fundies in the Duggar family. 

I wouldn't be surprised if she was pregnant, because it's been long enough since Evelyn was born that Joy could be pregnant again.  I hope she isn't, because fewer kids in a cult and Joy has had it rough with all of her previous pregnancies.

I doubt we'll know whether she's pregnant for a while, because Joy likes to hold off announcing (which is her right). 

I don't think they will ever be mainstream or do anything differently regarding beliefs.  I hope I'm wrong, but I haven't seen any signs of that.  I just think when you're one of four you will find a way to rationalize your god being cool with limiting once you realize what a mega family really means in terms of finances, stress, and chaos.

[mstee]

So I just had my second daughter in March and I’m already going crazy with baby fever. I could see myself being Michelle Duggar if I were fundie. But, thankfully, I have common sense and realize that the baby fever is all hormonal postpartum stuff. Happened with my first daughter too. And the thought of actually caring for another tiny being in nine months sounds crazy to me. I know a lot of people have kids back to back and everything is fine but my husband and I have talked a lot about being able to meet their needs- not only emotionally but financially. We have our toddler in a lot of activities and she really enjoys them and we enjoy taking her. And it just wouldn’t be feasible if we had more. 
 

I think Joy may have doubled down on her faith after going through her stillbirth. I could see her and Austin ending up with 7-10 kids. 

[Expectopatronus]

1 hour ago, JanasTattooParlor said:

I also have astigmatism and this is really good to know! I’m a couple years off from having kids, but it’s good to know that my already terrible vision is going to get worse ?

My astigmatism didn’t get worse but my eyes got drier and haven’t completely rebounded so contacts are uncomfortable. Of course, I’m also dog tired which can impact contact comfort. Any yet.... if it were possible, I’d love a second one. I’m kinda jealous of all the pregnant fundies right now. 
Other moms out there, now that my kid is starting to sleep in her crib again (after 7 months of crib refusal), my mom anxiety is going sky high. Logically I know that 18 months is too old for SIDS but I’m still terrified that she has died in her sleep each night. Is this normal or am I developing post partum anxiety? 

[Bad Wolf]

@Expectopatronusi hear you. I always checked on mine before I went to bed.. Somewhere about 5 years old I figured they were safe from crib death.  Doesn't make any sense, but that happened each time without me really being aware.

[mstee]

@Expectopatronus My oldest is 3 and I still make sure she’s breathing from time to time. Don’t know whether we are anxious or if it’s normal but just know you’re not alone ? 

[SassyPants]

My 7 YO GD has a respiratory virus and her dad insists that she must sleep with them because “she’s sick”. She also co-slept until she was close to 5. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 hour ago, Expectopatronus said:

My astigmatism didn’t get worse but my eyes got drier and haven’t completely rebounded so contacts are uncomfortable. Of course, I’m also dog tired which can impact contact comfort. Any yet.... if it were possible, I’d love a second one. I’m kinda jealous of all the pregnant fundies right now. 
Other moms out there, now that my kid is starting to sleep in her crib again (after 7 months of crib refusal), my mom anxiety is going sky high. Logically I know that 18 months is too old for SIDS but I’m still terrified that she has died in her sleep each night. Is this normal or am I developing post partum anxiety? 

My kids are all young adults so I don't remember the exact time I stopped worrying about this, but I would check in on mine until they were a lot older than 18 months just for the peace of mind.  

Get sleep now because once they learn to drive good luck getting any until they're home safe and sound.   

[justmy2cents]

I check on my daughter every night before I go to bed and she’s 10! Mostly to make sure her blanket is on top of her and not on the floor. I’ve found her in some interesting positions, like with her legs straight in the air, haha.
 

Spoiler

 

 

Edited June 9, 2021 by justmy2cents

[CanadianMamam]

It's be interesting if Joy got pregnant again before Carlin, since Layla is older than Evelyn but I also see Carlin as one of the ones who got pregnant with her first fast but not might be in a rush to pump a bunch of kids out. 

[libgirl2]

1 hour ago, justmy2cents said:

I check on my daughter every night before I go to bed and she’s 10! Mostly to make sure her blanket is on top of her and not on the floor. I’ve found her in some interesting positions, like with her legs straight in the air, haha.
 

  Hide contents

 

 

My son had his legs crossed "Indian style" a few nights ago. No wonder the cat left his room. 

[AussieKrissy]

3 hours ago, mstee said:

@Expectopatronus My oldest is 3 and I still make sure she’s breathing from time to time. Don’t know whether we are anxious or if it’s normal but just know you’re not alone ? 

This made me think. I did it for a long time too. I can’t actually remember when I calmed my farm about it. Post natal depression didn’t help my anxiety about checking her. But I know having her on the sleep mat that checked her breathing was a life saver for my sanity. (I know not full proof). 

[Silence]

I seem to remember an episode where Joy and Austin said they will have as many kids as the lord gives them. I think it was either just before or just after they got married.

 

[Mama Mia]

7 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I'm always surprised people have hope for Joy and Austin doing things differently and becoming more mainstream. I consider these two to be two of the most hardcore fundies in the Duggar family. 

I wouldn't be surprised if she was pregnant, because it's been long enough since Evelyn was born that Joy could be pregnant again.  I hope she isn't, because fewer kids in a cult and Joy has had it rough with all of her previous pregnancies.

I doubt we'll know whether she's pregnant for a while, because Joy likes to hold off announcing (which is her right). 

I don’t think they’d have to change a whole lot of their beliefs to limit their family size somewhat. There are not a ton of women who are birthing a dozen plus children, even in their circles. The larger families of each of the siblings  respective spouses seem to be in the 7 - 9 range -and several seem to have only a few brothers /sisters.  While probably some of that is due to just natural differences in fertility , it’s not at all a stretch to take a vow of “ as many children as the lord provides” to mean limiting full “joyful availability”  on both their parts to certain reasonably infertile times. And not a big stretch from there to non-quiverful but otherwise extremely conservative Christian. 

[IsmeWeatherwax]

I still check on my kids before I go to bed, they are 13 and 15 lol I checked on my girls too, until they left home, 18 and 17.

[OHFL2009]

My only hope for Joy is that it seems like since Josh's arrest, Joy and Jill have been interacting more. I don't follow any of them very closely on social media, but I feel like for a while after Jill broke away, we rarely saw them together and they didn't seem to comment on each other's posts. I think there was even speculation here about a rift between them. But recently Joy posted a photo with Jill and there seem to be more comments/likes between them. It's awful for them to have to find out their brother is even more of a monster than they knew and potentially relive their own abuse, but maybe this will shake Joy up enough that she'll look to her sister mom for help or guidance and start to realize what a messed up situation she was raised in.  

[baldricks_turnip]

2 hours ago, OHFL2009 said:

My only hope for Joy is that it seems like since Josh's arrest, Joy and Jill have been interacting more. I don't follow any of them very closely on social media, but I feel like for a while after Jill broke away, we rarely saw them together and they didn't seem to comment on each other's posts. I think there was even speculation here about a rift between them. But recently Joy posted a photo with Jill and there seem to be more comments/likes between them. It's awful for them to have to find out their brother is even more of a monster than they knew and potentially relive their own abuse, but maybe this will shake Joy up enough that she'll look to her sister mom for help or guidance and start to realize what a messed up situation she was raised in.  

I believe several months ago (around the time Jill started doing Q&A youtube videos that confirmed things weren't entirely harmonious between the Dillards and the OG Duggars), Joy also liked some posts that were about not airing dirty laundry or causing family drama. It definitely seemed to me like she was one of the ones putting distance between herself and Jill.

[Denim Jumper]

On 5/28/2021 at 11:14 PM, Expectopatronus said:

@Denim Jumper Do you have a recipe for dairy, soy and nut-free cheese? I’m anaphylactic to tree nuts and my daughter is allergic to dairy and soy. She really likes the Boursin dairy free that uses coconut but I haven’t found a cheddar or mozzarella that she eats. 

Yes! You can sub any plant milk with this recipe. I just use soy out of personal preference.

[AprilQuilt]

On 6/10/2021 at 10:29 PM, baldricks_turnip said:

I believe several months ago (around the time Jill started doing Q&A youtube videos that confirmed things weren't entirely harmonious between the Dillards and the OG Duggars), Joy also liked some posts that were about not airing dirty laundry or causing family drama. It definitely seemed to me like she was one of the ones putting distance between herself and Jill.

I think Josh's arrest changes things a little. Not inasmuch as Joy and the other sibs will totally denounce him and their parents, reframe their whole childhood etc etc etc, but for some it might give them the impetus to start on a journey like Jill's. Or it might not. But if any of them were feeling sad about the distance between themselves and Jill, this does present an opportunity to reach out. It might also be a catalyst for them to admit to themselves or to others that what she has been saying is correct; or to reconnect with her because these revelations have brought up a lot of feelings and she is one of the few people, as his victim and sister, who understands. 

They might have more contact with Jill because they dearly wanted it; they might be doing it because they know which side their bread is buttered. Doesn't matter. I think JB's hold is loosening somewhat either way. And it is also possible that Joy was always seeing Jill, she just kept it on the QT until now. This is definitely a potential moment for reassessment though.

[Cheetah]

I never got into the habit of checking on my kids because they were super light sleepers as infants and I didn't want to risk waking them and having to get them back to sleep.  And now even the youngest (16) has been going to bed later than me for a couple of years.  

[NotQuiteMotY]

On 6/9/2021 at 5:01 PM, mstee said:

@Expectopatronus My oldest is 3 and I still make sure she’s breathing from time to time. Don’t know whether we are anxious or if it’s normal but just know you’re not alone ? 

Elder is five. I still peek in and make sure he's breathing if he's sick!

[nvmbr02]

On 6/9/2021 at 2:56 PM, HerNameIsBuffy said:

My kids are all young adults so I don't remember the exact time I stopped worrying about this, but I would check in on mine until they were a lot older than 18 months just for the peace of mind.  

Get sleep now because once they learn to drive good luck getting any until they're home safe and sound.   

So much this! I am exhausted right now but up waiting for my oldest to get home. I feel I get less sleep now than I did when they were infants/toddlers. It isn't logical really, she will be off to college in less than two months so I should get used to not always knowing that is is safely tucked into bed but I just can't seem to get myself to go to bed until I know she is home. I am okay going to bed if I know they are home though. Both of my older two go to bed long after I do and some nights I even beat my 12 year old to bed. 

Edited June 17, 2021 by nvmbr02

[fluffernutter]

10 hours ago, nvmbr02 said:

So much this! I am exhausted right now but up waiting for my oldest to get home. I feel I get less sleep now than I did when they were infants/toddlers. It isn't logical really, she will be off to college in less than two months so I should get used to not always knowing that is is safely tucked into bed but I just can't seem to get myself to go to bed until I know she is home. I am okay going to bed if I know they are home though. Both of my older two go to bed long after I do and some nights I even beat my 12 year old to bed. 

I'm not sure this ever goes away. I certainly don't think about my adult children and their bedtimes when they are at their houses, but when they come home (to us) I can't quite settle until they are all home and in their respective sleeping areas. Same with when they leave here to travel back home. "Be safe, text me when you get home!" and yet I am not currently sitting here thinking about where they are or if they've arrived safely. Once they are in my personal orbit it allll comes back. ❤️ And funny thing, when we visit them they fuss over us much in the same way. ?

[nvmbr02]

30 minutes ago, fluffernutter said:

I'm not sure this ever goes away. I certainly don't think about my adult children and their bedtimes when they are at their houses, but when they come home (to us) I can't quite settle until they are all home and in their respective sleeping areas. Same with when they leave here to travel back home. "Be safe, text me when you get home!" and yet I am not currently sitting here thinking about where they are or if they've arrived safely. Once they are in my personal orbit it allll comes back. ❤️ And funny thing, when we visit them they fuss over us much in the same way. ?

I had a feeling it would never go completely away. And we do worry about my dad and MIL (or really any friend of family member) when they visit. 

I was joking with my daughter during her dorm selection that she needed to pick a good location because I would be brining my sleeping bag and camping outside her door. ? Luckily she knows I am only joking. I know it will be a difficult drive home for me, but I also know she is perfectly capable and can take care of herself. ❤️

[Mrs. Kravitz]

I used to lie awake at night in anxiety because I knew that as soon as I relaxed and drifted off to sleep, baby would be up crying again and wanting me to nurse her endlessly...