Michaela & Brandon 6: She Is an LPN and He Is Boring.....

[rebeccawriter01]

3 hours ago, Karma said:

I have one friend who didn’t work during IVF because she found it emotionally very difficult.  But she was 47, had been working since finishing uni and could take her long service leave.  (She met her husband in her mid 40s and they did end up with a lovely little boy.)

Slightly different,  but when I was diagnosed with cancer (a year ago today!) I told my spasmodic casual job that I’d be unavailable for shifts, so that I was available for appointments whenever they were scheduled. (I kept my local more stable and flexible job until I couldn’t physically manage the hours.)

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis. It is challenging to go through any health issue while maintaining a normal work schedule and cancer truly sucks. I'm going through a lot of testing and treatment at the moment and have postponed my return to work until it is a little more clear cut. Emotionally I'm all over the place and physically some days are better than others. Thankfully my new job is being very open and accommodating with me. 

With Michaela I have to wonder if: 

1. the attitude of her family has led to some decisions in this regard. While they are taught to trust God's judgment regarding when someone will have a family, working 40 or more hours a week would not indicate to them a person who is ready to be a mom. Alyssa's remarks on that Nightline episode come to mind where she said something to the effect that she didn't want to start a career she might love only to have to quit when she got pregnant. 

2. Michaela might be waiting on that final word. Nursing was always the back up plan at most. Maybe for her own sanity she needs to hear that there is nothing more that can be done (either through science or her beliefs) before she feels comfortable taking that step into working full time. 

3. Yes, many of us in many different fields have found flexibility and accommodations in our current careers. I am lucky to say I have found such things too. However, Michaela isn't really that experienced or skilled in asking for such things. In her life she is the one to do things without being told and never saying no when asked to do a chore. Her working life could be a nightmare for diagnosis and treatment. A coworker is late so she covers. Someone wants a day off so she agrees to fill in for her. I can't really picture her negotiating hours and time. As I said, my new job is being very accommodating. I had to learn how to ask for that though. And for me that was tough. I think it would be for Michaela.  

4. Some have speculated that the reason for the move back to Tennessee was to participate more in the show and make some money. If that is the case, a nursing job would interfere with that because of privacy restrictions. Add in COVID protocols and there would be little that could be filmed with her. 

5. I do wonder if she had the idea that if she busied herself with school that she would just miraculously become pregnant. It didn't happen and now she's got diploma and no real plan for what's next. I have some friends who graduated during COVID who feel that way and are feeling very lost at the moment because all of the previous plans seem frivolous and the new ones seem like settling. 

[Jackie3]

On 9/16/2021 at 9:38 PM, Tdoc72 said:

Yeah, but can they afford it if she’s not working?  I can’t imagine they are rolling in dough with just Brandon’s job. I don’t know for sure, but I always thought tests and treatments were expensive and not always covered by insurance. 

She's never worked outside her home, that I know of, apparently Brandon's salary is sufficient.  If they needed the money to pay for IVF, I imagine she'd gladly work to get it.

On 9/16/2021 at 6:12 AM, Melissa1977 said:

I know many people that needed fertility treatments and none of them left their jobs.

She didn't leave her job. She never had a job. If she gets pregnant, I imagine she wants to stay at home with the baby. So I suspect she doesn't want to get a job and then quit right away.

It's actually a responsible thing to do. If she got hired by a hospital, she'd have to be onboarded and even trained to a certain extent. If she became pregnant a few weeks later, she wouldn't be at the job for very long. If it was a high risk pregnancy, she might need to leave the job asap. I can understand she wouldn't want to start her nursing career that way. 

Edited September 18, 2021 by Jackie3

[JMO]

On 9/16/2021 at 9:12 AM, Melissa1977 said:

I know many people that needed fertility treatments and none of them left their jobs.

I worked full time and would go to appts before or after work or on my lunch hour. 

[indianabones]

12 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

She's never worked outside her home, that I know of, apparently Brandon's salary is sufficient.

Michael worked as a nanny for a local family before she got married for a few years. I'm pretty sure all the Bates daughters had jobs outside the home before marriage (except for Tori, though the fundie wiki says she had an "unknown" part time job).

Edited September 18, 2021 by indianabones

[rebeccawriter01]

1 hour ago, indianabones said:

Michael worked as a nanny for a local family before she got married for a few years. I'm pretty sure all the Bates daughters had jobs outside the home before marriage (except for Tori, though the fundie wiki says she had an "unknown" part time job).

In the first episode of the series Tori mentions that Michaela sits for or is a nanny for a family about five days a week. She also volunteered with the fire department. In a later episode where Gil and Kelly Jo are away she brings the little boy (maybe 18 months or 2) to the house to watch with her siblings. Then in the prep for the wedding she goes to the family she is a nanny for to cater her wedding reception. 

She has done some babysitting per Kelly Jo while married and of course started her sewing business. 

I don't know that she has ever had a job where she has punched a clock per se. She may have but it wasn't shown. Alyssa's job at the flower shop is never discussed either. That could be possible that she had a part time job at one point. She seems to be one of the harder working ones in the family. 

[Sheltie]

On 9/17/2021 at 12:27 AM, indianabones said:

Lawson is the only family member who has publicly said that he's unvaccinated.

I think it's safe to assume that none of the other Bates are vaccinated, given their politics.

I think it would be hard to really know for sure.  My family and I do not wear a mask when it is not required so some people would probably think we are unvaccinated.  However, we do wear a mask everywhere that it is required and avoid crowds.  We are also all fully vaccinated too.

[rebeccawriter01]

1 hour ago, Sheltie said:

I think it would be hard to really know for sure.  My family and I do not wear a mask when it is not required so some people would probably think we are unvaccinated.  However, we do wear a mask everywhere that it is required and avoid crowds.  We are also all fully vaccinated too.

I think it is pretty safe to say most if not all of them haven't. For example I would not hesitate to say Carlin hasn't had the vaccine. She posts everything on her social media - from the boring to the mundane. There is no way she went to get one or two shots and kept it quiet. She's just not capable of that. She and Josie rarely even keep their mask on properly on the rare occasions they do wear them. 

[Jackie3]

On 9/18/2021 at 10:32 AM, indianabones said:

Michael worked as a nanny for a local family before she got married for a few years. I'm pretty sure all the Bates daughters had jobs outside the home before marriage (except for Tori, though the fundie wiki says she had an "unknown" part time job).

True, I meant a job where there's a corporate hierarchy, coworkers, a human resources, vacation time, supervisors, etc. Those kinds of jobs can be pretty inflexible. I can see why she'd want to be as available as possible for her treatments (if she's having them). Plus, a full-time job as a nurse can be pretty demanding, and maybe she's worried it will affect her body/fertility.

I think it's a responsible thing to do. No hospital wants to spend time and money onboarding a new nurse, only to have her leave when she has a baby (and I'm pretty sure that's what Michaela would do). Plus, she'd burn her bridge at that hospital.

[rebeccawriter01]

6 hours ago, Jackie3 said:

True, I meant a job where there's a corporate hierarchy, coworkers, a human resources, vacation time, supervisors, etc. Those kinds of jobs can be pretty inflexible. I can see why she'd want to be as available as possible for her treatments (if she's having them). Plus, a full-time job as a nurse can be pretty demanding, and maybe she's worried it will affect her body/fertility.

I think it's a responsible thing to do. No hospital wants to spend time and money onboarding a new nurse, only to have her leave when she has a baby (and I'm pretty sure that's what Michaela would do). Plus, she'd burn her bridge at that hospital.

Hospitals are pretty used to hiring nurses who become moms within the first year or two. Like education, it is the nature of the beast. Most new nurses, teachers, etc. are likely to have a baby (or two) in the first five years. That's just the demographics of it. 

However, in that area LPNs aren't in demand for hospitals. I have some extended family working in the Knoxville and Andershon County hospitals. We've had conversations about how the state says LPNs are needed and are giving all these grants for schools to churn out more. However, the hospitals they work in are saying no more LPNs. 

Most hospitals want RNs and those that can move into leadership. There is a whole financial plan to back that up for them, as and LPN can be replaced with a PCT to do the more menial work and you can hire one RN for the cost of two LPNs. Doctors' offices often have that same structure. Besides saving money, they want structures where they facility can see more patients. An RN, Nurse Manager, PA, Nurse Practitioner can do more without direct involvement of someone else. LPNs can't. So it would probably behoove her to work in long term care or even public health if she doesn't want to go on for her RN. 

I do I agree with you that it is responsible for her to delay career decisions if she is going through testing and/or treatment. It is one thing to enter into testing and treatment when you are established but quite another to start a new job with that commitment both physically and emotionally. Brandon works. She has some income from her sewing. They get some money from the show. If they can afford it, good for them. I can't even tell you how great it has been to go through my new medical journey without the pressure of learning a new job and all that entails along with medical crap. Good for her for practicing some self care. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

We have no idea if any of the bates are vaccinated, but I have to wonder why a doctor would give fertility treatments to a people who refuse to vaccinate for COVID. 

[AussieKrissy]

4 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

We have no idea if any of the bates are vaccinated, but I have to wonder why a doctor would give fertility treatments to a people who refuse to vaccinate for COVID. 

A fundie doctor might 

[rebeccawriter01]

On 9/23/2021 at 2:43 AM, Bluebirdbluebell said:

We have no idea if any of the bates are vaccinated, but I have to wonder why a doctor would give fertility treatments to a people who refuse to vaccinate for COVID. 

We don't know that she is receiving treatment. She may still be doing some testing. 

[moreorlessnu]

I was hoping she was already pregnant when I saw the most recent pictures of their trip. She was wearing several high waisted dresses, and she seemed a little bit heavier than in the past.

[sleepygirl1]

I was hoping that too, plus her post today about being God’s love, makes me think that there might be a chance she could be pregnant or that maybe the fertility testing has finally given her some answers.

[browngrl]

On 9/17/2021 at 7:11 PM, rebeccawriter01 said:

Michaela isn't really that experienced or skilled in asking for such things.

Michaela has been taught from day one that a woman is either a god honouring stay at home mom or nasty feminist career woman. The possibility that a woman could have many roles and that the dominant role at any point in time might change over the course of a lifetime is likely not something that she even considered and if she did it might seem like an alien concept. It is too bad. I could see her as a family doctor's or pediatrician's nurse - working part time so that she could balance  a nice family life.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

nevermind

Edited September 26, 2021 by Bluebirdbluebell

[byzant]

Sorry to bring it up but why are we hoping for another child to be brought into the abusive cult?? 

[rebeccawriter01]

13 hours ago, browngrl said:

Michaela has been taught from day one that a woman is either a god honouring stay at home mom or nasty feminist career woman. The possibility that a woman could have many roles and that the dominant role at any point in time might change over the course of a lifetime is likely not something that she even considered and if she did it might seem like an alien concept. It is too bad. I could see her as a family doctor's or pediatrician's nurse - working part time so that she could balance  a nice family life.

Very true. They all seem to have that either or mentality. Despite brief sojourns into the working outside the home world (Josie working for a salon and Whitney doing real estate), the women in the family still go back to those IBLP (and other conservative) principles of don't work for someone who is ungodly and going to lead you astray - own your own business - and don't work in a way that takes you away from your family responsibilities.

I don't know that any of them have been taught or have learned the soft skills to handle a job working for someone or a group of someones. Using Michaela as an example. If Michaela was offered a job, would she try and negotiate a salary, hours, etc.? I just don't see that with her. She's been a yes person to her family all these years. I'm betting on group assignments at school she was the one doing the bulk of it (I don't miss those days at all). I don't doubt she would be good at major parts of her job. I just wonder if she has the skills to stand up for herself or get what she needs. There's been a lot of talk about how she could/should have the flexibility to manage working and other commitments. However, that flexibility is rarely just handed to a person. You have to ask for it. Would she?   

The best example we have in the family of working outside their own group is Zach. The one time they showed him interacting with a boss was when he was late for his own graduation. He says via voice over that he hadn't been late through the whole academy but was that day. That was pretty disrespectful and owed more of an explanation than the "late Bates" syndrome. I would hope that school would knock some of that out of these people. 

1 hour ago, byzant said:

Sorry to bring it up but why are we hoping for another child to be brought into the abusive cult?? 

Agreed. I am not a big fan of this idea at all. 

However, I also feel bad for her as a human being because she is clearly suffering as the one and only in the family (so far) who can't have children. As that person in my own family it was very painful and something that can rear its head for a lifetime it seems. 

[JDuggs]

1 hour ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

 

I don't know that any of them have been taught or have learned the soft skills to handle a job working for someone or a group of someones. Using Michaela as an example. If Michaela was offered a job, would she try and negotiate a salary, hours, etc.? I just don't see that with her.

There's been a lot of talk about how she could/should have the flexibility to manage working and other commitments. However, that flexibility is rarely just handed to a person. You have to ask for it. Would she?   

I used to work at a nursing home within the last year, but not in the nursing department. Our CNAs, LPNs and RNs were all on a set salary schedule. No one negotiated their own salaries. Flexibility didn’t seem to be an option and overtime hours were mandatory. I think that if you are searching for a healthcare position now, you have to be committed to working hard and be at the mercy of your employer. Nursing homes and hospitals are short staffed. They don’t have the time to deal with a nurse who isn’t committed to her job.

[sansan]

18 hours ago, moreorlessnu said:

I was hoping she was already pregnant when I saw the most recent pictures of their trip. She was wearing several high waisted dresses, and she seemed a little bit heavier than in the past.

I have not seen any current pictures lately but I’m actually in shock that no one has jumped you for your comment. About (maybe) two years ago I stated that my SIL was having trouble conceiving and her Dr. told her that at times when women lose as little as 10 pounds they get pregnant, mind you, not exact words but you get the general idea. I said that pertaining to Michael and was I jumped on big time. I never said she was fat but she appears not as slender as some women. If she wants a baby, I hope she has a baby.

[raayx01]

I don't know if any of you watched Alyssa's new video, ut he said In the video that Brandon flies up every week for the whole week to D.C. to work and then flies back on the weekend. That seems ridiculous. They could simply move to Dc and Michael could get a nursing job anywhere. I know it can be expensive but with both incomes they could get a nice apartment, they're just renting a tiny house in Tn anyway.

[llucie]

22 minutes ago, raayx01 said:

I don't know if any of you watched Alyssa's new video, ut he said In the video that Brandon flies up every week for the whole week to D.C. to work and then flies back on the weekend. That seems ridiculous. They could simply move to Dc and Michael could get a nursing job anywhere. I know it can be expensive but with both incomes they could get a nice apartment, they're just renting a tiny house in Tn anyway.

In what minute of the video she says that? i thought she was talking about her father in law.

[raayx01]

@llucie She said Brandon, Maybe she said her father in law, there grandpa's name is Daniel, I don't now what they call him though

But at Brandon and Michella's engagement he was in DC for work

Start at minute 3

Edited October 2, 2021 by raayx01

[llucie]

10 minutes ago, raayx01 said:

@llucie She said Brandon, Maybe she said her father in law, there grandpa's name is Daniel, I don't now what they call him though

But at Brandon and Michella's engagement he was in DC for work

Start at minute 3

I listened to it again starting minute 3 and she doesnt mention Brandon, she says(to the girls) : you know who works here? and Allie responds: Grandad.

[rebeccawriter01]

52 minutes ago, raayx01 said:

@llucie She said Brandon, Maybe she said her father in law, there grandpa's name is Daniel, I don't now what they call him though

But at Brandon and Michella's engagement he was in DC for work

Start at minute 3

She says Grandpa (referring to Daniel Webster) and mentions how he flies home each weekend.