Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 31

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

[ADoyle90815]

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Cop Oopsies"

Quote

In 2015 in Tulsa, Oklahoma, a white cop killed a 44-year-old unarmed black man by shooting him with his gun. The cop thought he was using his taser. The cop was 73 years old so he probably had some experience but you would think a rank amateur would be able to tell the difference between a Smith & Wesson 357 Magnum weighing about three pounds fully loaded and a Model X26 taser weighing about eight ounces. Here’s another fun fact: While the cop was shooting Harris, another cop was kneeling on his head.

You would think professional police wouldn’t confuse guns with tasers. Whether it’s a 357 magnum, or a nine millimeter Glock, which is plastic, guns are still heavier than tasers. If you force cops to take the Coke and Pepsi challenge blind folded with guns and tasers, they’ll pick Coke every time.

On Sunday, a cop with 26 years of experience shot a 20-year-old unarmed black man during a routine traffic stop. She even yelled, “Taser” as she shot the young man. Daunte Wright was killed in Minnesota, which is already struggling from the police killing of George Floyd. The trial is currently in its third week.

The police are calling the cause of Daunte Wright’s death an “accidental discharge.” Did the cop intend to pull the trigger? That’s not an accident. She has probably picked up a gun every day of her life for the last 26 years, and she wouldn’t tell the difference between one and a taser?

Guns are typically carried on the dominant hand side of a cop’s waist. Their tasers are carried on the other side. If the cop is right-handed, the gun is on his right side. Some cops carry their tasers on their chest. Also, GUNS DON’T LOOK LIKE TASERS!!!!

Tasers usually have bright yellow on them. Guns are usually all black. In the video clip released from the shooting cop’s body cam, you immediately notice, even if you’re not a cop with 26 years of experience and never held a nine millimeter pistol in your life, that the cop is holding a gun, not a taser.

Here in Virginia, cops pulled over a black man because they couldn’t see he had temporary tags. The driver of the vehicle, a second lieutenant in the U.S. Army Medical Corps, found a well-lit place to pull over and wouldn’t exit his vehicle until the police would tell him why he was pulled over. They refused to tell him that. They had their guns drawn and were screaming at him to exit. Finally, one of the cops pepper-sprayed the vet. They later said he was slapping at their arms and hands when they were trying to open his door. Video footage fails to prove that. What it does prove is that cops are racist assholes.

You would think as the cops got out of their car, they would have seen the temporary tag in the rear window (if they hadn’t already seen it), and then apologized to the driver and let him go. They could have said, “Sir, we pulled you over because we couldn’t see your temporary tag, which we do see now. Please, accept our apology and have a good night. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Nope. Instead, they charged his vehicle with guns drawn while screaming at him.

Second Lieutenant Caron Nazario had both his hands outside his window the entire time of the incident. He told the cops he was “honestly afraid” to get out of the car with one replying, “Yeah, you should be.” The cop told him, “What’s going on is you’re fixing to ride the lightning, son.” Not that it should matter, but Nazario was wearing his uniform at the time. Fortunately, after being pepper-sprayed, Nazario did not “ride the lightening” or even have to “feel the thunder.”

After the pepper spraying, the officer, Joe Gutierrez, told Lieutenant Nazario that the police chief had given him the discretion to let him go so long as the lieutenant did not “fight and argue.” He also said he would write a summons if Lieutenant Nazario did not “chill” about the traffic stop, and that the Army would be alerted if a summons were written.

What that mean is Gutierrez knew he messed up and was trying to intimidate Nazario into not complaining about it. He literally threatened to write a summons if the guy did not “chill.” He warned that the Army would know if he received a summons, as though it would hurt his career. Oddly enough, Narazio was the only one who wasn’t screaming and cursing during the incident. Also, it was really nice the police chief had given the officer the “discretion” to let Lt. Nazario go after he didn’t do anything illegal.

Officer Gutierrez told Nazario that whether he arrested him, wrote a summons, or let him go, it wouldn’t “change his life.” Guitierrez has now been fired. I do believe his life has been changed.

But firing this cop isn’t cleaning the system by getting rid of one “bad apple.” It’s a racist and corrupt system. It gives credibility to the Defund The Police movement. If nothing else, we seriously need police reform. It’s not just a few racist cops here and there. It’s a racist system that’s nationwide.

A few years ago, my best friend and I were out playing pool on a week night. My friend had one beer and went home. A cop pulled him over. The cop tested him for drunk driving and my friend passed with flying colors. But the cop would not let him drive himself home, which was about a mile from where he was pulled over. My friend, who is also an Army veteran, is black. He called me to come out and drive him home. Of course, I needed to find another friend to go with me so we could take my car and not leave his vehicle on the side of the road. This meant I had to find another white friend who was up at midnight.

When you make a mistake, you might go to jail. When cops make a mistake, they might kill you….especially if you’re black. Anyone who refuses to see there is a serious race discrepancy problem with the police in this nation is racist. How can a cop confuse a black gun with a yellow taser when we know cops are not color blind?

Seriously, police need to chill.

 

[AmazonGrace]

 

[GreyhoundFan]

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Fuhgeddaboudit, Giuliani"

Quote

To be honest, it wasn’t very important that I draw this cartoon. On a normal day, I try to pick the most talked about issue, or maybe the most important…or what I think readers should be talking about. And then there are days like this…where it’s just too much fun. But the reason this isn’t that important is because Andrew Giuliani has zero chances of becoming governor of New York. It’s not going to happen.

Andrew Giuliani is the son of Rudy Giuliani. Fortunately for him, his mother is not his father’s cousin. That was his first wife. Andrew first came to fame during his dad’s mayoral inauguration in 1994, when he was a child. He was repeating the oath his father was taking, blew kisses to the cameras, mimicked his father’s hand gestures, and shouted, “It should be so and it will be so!” His actions were spoofed by David Letterman and Chris Farley impersonated him on Saturday Night Live.

Over the past four years, Andrew had a position in the White House where he was Special Assistant to the President (sic) and Associate Director of the Office of Public Liaison. He was really just hired to play golf with Trump. He’s a former professional golfer. Taxpayers paid Andrew $95,000 a year to play golf with Trump. While John Kelly was Chief of Staff, he blocked Andrew’s access to the West Wing.

The only reason Giuliani got his job in the White House is because his father was Trump’s buddy and personal lawyer. Is that a conflict? Probably. Unfortunately for Andrew, no one is going to give him his next job because his daddy is Rudy Giuliani.

I’m sure in the past, being Rudy’s kid was an all-access pass to a lot of good shit. Now, it might be a hindrance. Over the past four years, Andrew’s daddy, with his crazy conspiracy theories, public farting, melting hair dye, and press conferences in the parking lots of dildo shops, is a national laughingstock.

What’s also laughable is Andrew thinks his connections to Trump and his daddy will help him in liberal New York. Sure, Governor Andrew Cuomo is in hot water with scandals over nursing home deaths and accusations of heavy flirting to sexual assault. But, if Cuomo runs for reelection, a GOP nomination of Andrew Giuliani would surely get Cuomo reelected…if he’s the Democratic nominee.

Andrew Giuliani is still thinking over the idea of running for governor. Andrew needs to think on this one really hard…if a Trump is capable of thinking hard, because he has a less chance of being governor than…

The Rent-is-too-Damn-High guy. Jimmy McMillan is a New Yorker who has run for governor, mayor of New York City, and maybe president, though he never appeared on any state ballots. During the 2010 governor’s race, he ran on the campaign of the “rent is too damn high.” A lot of people laughed at him even though they all agreed. The rent is too damn high. McMillan’s party is the Rent Is Too Damn High Party. He’s the chairman and maybe the only member. Unfortunately, McMillan is also a Trumper. Ew. But, he still has a better chance of becoming governor than Andrew Giuliani. Andrew also has less of a chance than…

Mr. Stay-Puft. Despite being sent by Gozer, (also known as Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Gozer the Traveler, Volguus Zildrohar and Lord of the Sebouillia) fighting the Ghostbusters, and even stepping on a church in the process of trying to destroy the planet…Mr. Stay Puft Marshmallow Man still has a better shot at becoming governor than Andrew Giuliani. In fact, Gozer’s demi-god minions, Vinz Clortho, the Keymaster, and Zull, the Gatekeeper, have better shots than Andrew Giuliani…even if they are in the forms of ugly dogs. And if ugly doggy demi-gods have a better shot at moving to Albany than Andrew, then so does…

Anyone who has ever been honked at while walking across a street in New York City and shouted back, “I’m walking heah.” Here’s a fact: I have shouted, “We’re walking here,” in New York City. It was partly as a joke while in Manhattan while I was also being serious. While walking with Black Lives Matter, some fuckers started dropping water bottles on the protesters. So, I shouted, “We’re walking here” which a lot of fellow marchers approved of. The cops just shrugged off that we were being assaulted by dropped water bottles. Another fun fact: I’ve never seen the movie, “Midnight Cowboy.” My proofer, Laura, mentioned that movie while finding the boo-boos in today’s cartoon, and I thought she was referencing the other cowboy in this cartoon, who also has better odds of becoming governor than Andrew Giuliani. Who? I’m talking about the…

Naked Cowboy. Robert Burck is the Naked Cowboy. He busks in Times Square where fortunately, he’s not really naked. He is wearing tighty-whities though which isn’t much better. He’s also a former porn star, presidential candidate for the Tea Party and…ugh…a Trumper. Still though, he has a better shot than Andrew just like…

Anyone playing for the Mets has a better shot…despite the fact the Mets suck. When asking where to take a very smart girl on a date, Ross Geller told Joey Tribbiani to take her to the Met to which Joey replied, “The Mets suck. You wanna see the Yankees.” Unfortunately for Joey, Ross was talking about the Metropolitan Museum of Art. But, Joey would still be a better governor than Andrew…even with a campaign of “How you doin’?” and “Joey doesn’t share food.” Even Joey’s duck has a better chance than Andrew…just like…

Whoever’s making the boneheaded decisions for The New York Jets. These guys drafted a quarterback in the first round three years ago…whom they just traded so they can draft another quarterback in the first round. The Jets haven’t had a first-round pick for a QB work out since 1965. Whoever’s running the Jets this week, or next, has a better shot at becoming governor than Andrew. But maybe the job of running the Jets should be taken over by someone else who can also beat Andrew, and that would be…

Pizza Rat. Pizza Rat couldn’t make worse calls for the Jets, is more likeable than any Giuliani, and knows a good slice when he sees one. Did you know New York City is the third most rat-infested city in the nation? They probably dropped from first place after the Trumps moved to Florida. Also, Pizza Rat knows how to eat a slice while Donald Trump does not and chose to use a knife and fork while dining with Sarah Palin. Pizza Rat probably has better dining partners than Trump too. Who lives near Pizza Rat, would make a better dining partner, and has a better shot at becoming governor than Andrew Giuliani? Why none other than…

C.H.U.D. What? What’s a C.H.U.D? Who’s a C.H.U.D? Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers are former humans who were mutated by radioactive materials illegally disposed of in the sewers. They’re nasty. They were the basis of a cult 1980s movie. Their main legacy may be slang for when you’re about to go out with someone, and your friend replies, “Girl, you don’t wanna date him. He’s a total C.H.U.D.” If someone thinks you look like a C.H.U.D, it’s not good. Though if you called Andrew Giuliani a “C.H.U.D,” C.H.U.D. would probably find that insulting. Still, being called a “C.H.U.D.” is better than getting, “girl, you don’t wanna go out with him. He’s a total Matt Gaetz.”

Every time I have ever used the word, “C.H.U.D,” I’ve had to explain it. Even in Manhattan to guys going down into the sewers.

While strolling near Times Square, after having a slice I did NOT eat with a knife and fork or steal from a rat, I saw some workers going into the sewers and I said, “Watch out for C.H.U.D.s!” They just looked at me like I was weird. One of the workers asked, “What’s a Chud?” I said, “You know…the movie? C.H.U.D? Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers?” I just got blank stares. It seems to me that if your job entails going into New York City sewers, then you wanna be familiar with C.H.U.D….who also has a better shot at becoming governor than Andrew Giuliani…and better dates than Matt Gaetz.

Also, why do Andrew Giuliani, Eric Trump, and Matt Gaetz all have the same teeth? People who draw caricatures notice these things.

Creative note: I drew a rough of this last Thursday and showed it to CNN, knowing we weren’t going to use it because it’s not a big issue. But, we had a lot of fun with it exchanging emails back and forth on the cartoon. One of my editors suggested I use Mr. Stay-Puft.

I was originally going to draw and publish this Sunday, but it was a lot of work. So I drew and published something else yesterday and then got to work on the lettering and template for this cartoon. When I woke up, I just had to draw it…and ended up changing a few more things. Also, I kinda wish I had used George Costanza somewhere. I could have used, “I won a contest.”

 

[CTRLZero]

11 minutes ago, GreyhoundFan said:

He was really just hired to play golf with Trump. He’s a former professional golfer. Taxpayers paid Andrew $95,000 a year to play golf with Trump. While John Kelly was Chief of Staff, he blocked Andrew’s access to the West Wing.

I remember Andrew Giuliani from *The Big Break, a “reality” show that gave amateur golfers a chance to advance to a pro golf tournament (or something like that).  He was such an arrogant so-and-so that he was eventually eliminated (not soon enough for my liking).  All these years later, I recall how his presence irritated the heck out of me.  John Kelly did right to block his access, I’m sure. 

*We typically don’t watch these shows, but our daughter played golf and knew a contestant.  Her teammate was even more annoying and was voted off right away, lol!

[GreyhoundFan]

[thoughtful]

 

[GreyhoundFan]

[smittykins]

22 hours ago, GreyhoundFan said:

Anyone playing for the Mets has a better shot…despite the fact the Mets suck.

Exhibit A:  Luis Castillo(although the ball didn’t bonk off his noggin).

 

[GreyhoundFan]

 

"Absolut Biden"

Quote

I love that people who identify themselves as Constitutionalists don’t know shit fuck about the Constitution.

Usually, when a “Constitutionalist” screams about the Constitution and the rights it guarantees, it is really only talking about one Amendment, and that’s the Second. In case you don’t know what that Amendment guarantees, ask a “Constitutionalist.” The other thing I love about “Constitutionalists” is that they’ll tell you only part of what’s in the Second Amendment. Not only will they NOT tell you what the entire Amendment says, but when they tell you the part, “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed,” they won’t even tell you the entire sentence.

What does the rest of that sentence say? It says, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State…” and then it gives you, ” the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

When you talk to a “Constitutionalist,” especially the white male Christian ones, they believe they’re all infringed. They’re the most infringed people in world history.

The other thing I love about these wingnuts is that they don’t know history and they don’t know civics. Take Fox News fucknut Steve Doocy as an example. This asstwat goes on national TV every weekday morning, talks about the Constitution, and doesn’t know dick for shit what he’s talking about.

While introducing measures to curb gun violence, President Joe Biden said, “No amendment to the Constitution is absolute.” With that, conservatives lost their minds.

How dare the president say something so factual and historically accurate!!! How dare he know what he’s talking about!!!

Spoiler alert: None of the Amendments to the United States Constitution are absolute. They are not set in stone. The Constitution is a living document, as in it can be changed. But don’t take my word for it. I’m just a cartoonist. Let’s take Thomas Jefferson’s word.

Jefferson said, “I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.”

Here’s your first history lesson for the day, conservatives: Thomas Jefferson was one of the framers of the Constitution. Ouch. That one stings. Walk it off. It’s about to get worse.

Steve Doocy, who is NOT Thomas Jefferson, went off the rails on his morning show for numbnuts. Doocy said, “The part that is really shocking is where the President just said no amendment to the Constitution is absolute. He’s talking about the Second Amendment, which he does not regard as, you know, giving everybody the right to do whatever they want to with guns, we know that we know his talking point.” It’s nice that he believes the Second Amendment gives everyone the right to do whatever they want with guns.

When talking about the Constitution, would you rather take the word from a guy named Jefferson or a turd named Doocy? I’d listen to George Jefferson before I’d listen to Steve Doocy.

This is where Doocy displays his ignorance. He rhetorically asked, “But what about if no Amendment is absolute? What about how does he feel about the First Amendment? How does he feel about the freedom of religion, how does he feel about freedom of speech?” I say he asked “rhetorically” because he ignored that Biden gave a civics and history lesson in his speech.

President Biden said, “You can’t yell ‘fire’ in a crowded movie theater and call it freedom of speech. From the very beginning, you couldn’t own any weapon you wanted to own. From the very beginning that the Second Amendment existed, certain people weren’t allowed to have weapons. So the idea is just bizarre to suggest that some of the things we’re recommending are contrary to the Constitution.”

The First Amendment gives you the freedom of speech, but it doesn’t give you the freedom to say anything you want. Courts have ruled you don’t have the right to libel someone. You don’t have the right to speak and cause a panic or a riot. I can call Steve Doocy a butt muncher but I can’t make a public claim that he literally munches on butts.

As Jefferson said, ” We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.” Jefferson probably anticipated slavery would eventually be outlawed…and banning it would become a Constitutional amendment. See? We outgrew out childish pants and outgrew the regimen of our “barbarous ancestors.” And the Constitution changed from the first ten amendments our founding fathers created, and written by James Madison, which is the Bill of Rights. Also, Madison was another slave owner, but you know what he didn’t own? A fucking AR-15.

We have added 27 amendments to the Constitution. We’ve added stuff like allowing women to vote, banning slavery, electing the president and vice-president on the same ticket, electing senators by popular vote, and banning the sale of alcohol. Wait. Selling and buying alcohol is legal today. If amendments to the Constitution are absolute, then why is the sale of alcohol legal? Because Amendments…wait for it….ARE NOT ABSOLUTE.

In 1919, the 18th Amendment was ratified by the required number of states and added to the United States Constitution. This Amendment made the sale and purchase of alcohol illegal in the United States. There were no exceptions. Being that this nation does like to drink and the government couldn’t stop people from drinking, or the organized crime from it, the Amendment was repealed 24 years later. And this was done without a serious liquor lobby behind it.

In 1933, the required numbers of states said, “Get the fuck out of here,” to the 18th Amendment and the 21st was born, which repealed the 18th. On a side note, I still think it’s funny that marijuana is federally outlawed and there’s nothing in the Constitution about it. We need a weed Amendment because alcohol is much worse than weed.

We have only changed one Amendment but that proves no Amendment is absolute. What will it take to repeal an Amendment?

To change the Constitution, Congress has to call a Constitutional Convention for proposing amendments upon application of the legislatures of two-thirds of the states. That means 34 states have to agree to the convention, to even discuss it. Then, any Amendments proposed by Congress or the Convention only becomes valid when three-fourths of states’ legislatures or state conventions ratify the proposed Amendment. It would take 38 states to add a new Amendment to the Constitution.

Now it’s my turn to ask a rhetorical question: Can we get 38 states to do anything to change the Second Amendment? Hell no. We’ll never get Congress to even propose such a change.

But no Amendment is absolute. We can fight for change in courts. The Second Amendment doesn’t give you the right to own a semi-automatic rifle or unlimited ammunition.

Don’t act like President Joe Biden doesn’t know what he’s talking about when he says, “No Amendment to the Constitution is absolute,” because he’s right. You may not like that he wants to change gun laws, but don’t act like he’s the one who doesn’t know his shit. When you do, you only prove you’re an idiot.

The Constitution is not infallible. It was written by slave owners. Our first five presidents were slave owners with a total of 12 presidents owning slaves. These are men who wrote, “All men are created equal” who also held slaves and didn’t believe women should have the right to vote. We can’t live by the standards of our “barbarous ancestors” who wrote the Constitution in 1787.

It’s time to move on and stop living by standards that was the norm 233 years ago. I can drink to that.