Alyssa and John 8: Four Daughters, a New House, and a Pool

[Jackie3]

1 hour ago, BeccaGrim said:

Just watched her video where she is back to working out. And has the kids sitting on the edge of the pool while she works out. Okay. She's one room away. But, she keeps turning her back on them.  They have on those arm floaties. Doesn't she realize how quickly one of those little girls could be in serious trouble?  

That pool gate is not even really a gate. It is so flimsy. A crafty preschooler could probably get into the pool area. I am really worried for those girls, even once they have learned to swim. I feel that then Alyssa will let her guard down, and Maci will be at the crawling stage. 

6 hours ago, sparrow said:

Meanwhile the song playing over the insta story is "Don't you ever grow up." Don't they see the irony that they are coaxing those girls to grow up too fast by having such adult rituals? There was nothing kid-like about that date except for the size of the clothing and shoes.

If Allie wants to go on a real date with a boy in 7-8 years, I doubt they'll be encouraging it, or  letting her wear makeup and dress up.  No, dating will probably be forbidden till she's 18, or require a chaperone or something. I hate the way they sexualize little girls but then shut down on healthy sexuality when the kids reach the teen years.

[SassyPants]

On 4/12/2021 at 6:04 PM, Jackie3 said:

That pool gate is not even really a gate. It is so flimsy. A crafty preschooler could probably get into the pool area. I am really worried for those girls, even once they have learned to swim. I feel that then Alyssa will let her guard down, and Maci will be at the crawling stage. 

If Allie wants to go on a real date with a boy in 7-8 years, I doubt they'll be encouraging it, or  letting her wear makeup and dress up.  No, dating will probably be forbidden till she's 18, or require a chaperone or something. I hate the way they sexualize little girls but then shut down on healthy sexuality when the kids reach the teen years.

They do that with everything. They give 7 year olds adult responsibilities and 17 year olds the freedoms of 3 year olds. It’s all about control and exploitation!

On 4/12/2021 at 4:26 PM, BeccaGrim said:

Just watched her video where she is back to working out. And has the kids sitting on the edge of the pool while she works out. Okay. She's one room away. But, she keeps turning her back on them.  They have on those arm floaties. Doesn't she realize how quickly one of those little girls could be in serious trouble?  

No, she does not. I wonder if she is a strong swimmer? 

[Jewels64]

On 4/11/2021 at 11:47 AM, rebeccawriter01 said:

I agree. If he wanted less demanding, he might have considered moving to a municipal agency rather than county sheriff's office or even getting his certification to teach at the academy. Blount County isn't a horrible commute from Anderson County for such a role. 

I remember an episode where Whitney was taking Bradley and Erin was taking Carson to swimming lessons. Erin made a comment that Kelly Jo and swimming, as Jeb and Judson were there and a few years older than Bradley and Carson. "Mom has always been very overly cautious around water. I think I feel more secure knowing that Carson will know how to swim at a younger age." 

Granted that seems to fly in the face of the episodes we've seen with the kids at the lake and the various pool parties. 

While these people put a lot of stock in obedience, they don't seem to realize that children are naturally curious and a simple don't do that won't work. Screaming and yelling at a child to behave is not going to work either. Most children can't define or understand the word behave. You have to give more concrete instructions. Rather than saying to settle down, it's easier for him or her to hear that right now is the time we are going to sit in a chair and read. Same with the pool. Set rules. We don't run when we can see the pool. We don't go inside the fence unless we can touch mommy or daddy's hand at the same time. And then reinforce those ideas. My girls are told we don't run when the pool is in our sight. If and when they do run inside the area with the pool, then we go back inside. It's a hard rule, as my mother would say. 

The pool should have a sturdy boundary fence, a lock, and preferably an audible alarm that would notify Alyssa and John to it opening or someone climbing on it. This should have been a first priority for their renovations and not something they will get around to eventually.  

You make excellent points. I am an ex early childhood educator.  I found instead of saying "Don't Run" to say "Please Walk"  was more effective.  Little brains often only hear a part of what we are saying.  So a little one will here Run instead of don't run.  Remininding them that we walk indoors, we sit in our chairs always helped me with classroom management. 

[Melissa1977]

8 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

No, she does not. I wonder if she is a strong swimmer? 

I doubt it, but that pool may be a family pool in which an adult is never fully covered by water. 

Arm floaties have always printed the following advice: "children must be supervised always". Why does she need to workout at the same time the girls are by the pool? Why doesn't she workout when girls watch tv or their school videos or at their nap time? Or they could workout all together, like a gymnastics class. 

Yesterday they went for a walk amd after the walk Allie and Alyssa were red-skinned. I suspect they weren't using sunscreen or that they were walking at noon and got exhausted by the heat. Common sense, were are you?

[front hugs > duggs]

31 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

Yesterday they went for a walk amd after the walk Allie and Alyssa were red-skinned. I suspect they weren't using sunscreen or that they were walking at noon and got exhausted by the heat. Common sense, were are you?

And it was very, very hot here.

[SassyPants]

Maci is Allie Jane’s clone!

[dawn9476]

Watching their latest video on Allie's birthday. Allie chose to have a day with just her sisters and parents. Alyssa also mentioned the girls are starting swim lessons.

[Mom to Nell]

Alyssa has a new story up about bribing the girls to clean their room and then they can open their Kiwi boxes. But she prefaces that by saying, "I love that they are getting older and can help out more!!"

No, Alyssa your children's value is not in them helping you out. Not saying chores are wrong, but chores are not about making your life easier (here's a great way to do that: stop having more babies); chores are part of being a family and living, working together and you teaching reasonable responsibility. 

Allie is feeding Maci and she posts, "Allie is such a sweet little mommy to Maci". 

No, Alyssa your daughter is not a little mommy. YOU are the mommy.  

She is really beginning to grate on my nerves. I think it started the 1st Saturday she was home from giving birth to Maci and she posted that she had survived her 1st day alone babysitting all four girls. Babysitting???

No, Alyssa you are not a babysitter, For the umpteenth time, YOU are the mommy.

What a superficial twit. 

 

[UnicornHunter]

10 minutes ago, Mom to Nell said:

Alyssa has a new story up about bribing the girls to clean their room and then they can open their Kiwi boxes. But she prefaces that by saying, "I love that they are getting older and can help out more!!"

No, Alyssa your children's value is not in them helping you out. Not saying chores are wrong, but chores are not about making your life easier (here's a great way to do that: stop having more babies); chores are part of being a family and living, working together and you teaching reasonable responsibility. 

Allie is feeding Maci and she posts, "Allie is such a sweet little mommy to Maci". 

No, Alyssa your daughter is not a little mommy. YOU are the mommy.  

She is really beginning to grate on my nerves. I think it started the 1st Saturday she was home from giving birth to Maci and she posted that she had survived her 1st day alone babysitting all four girls. Babysitting???

No, Alyssa you are not a babysitter, For the umpteenth time, YOU are the mommy.

What a superficial twit. 

 

Omg I didn’t pick up the babysitter comment but I remember that post. I was just thinking the other day how these families would probably have less kids if they didn’t have constant help and support. Watching your own kids for a day is not an impressive accomplishment. 

[artdecades]

1 hour ago, Mom to Nell said:

Alyssa has a new story up about bribing the girls to clean their room and then they can open their Kiwi boxes. But she prefaces that by saying, "I love that they are getting older and can help out more!!"

No, Alyssa your children's value is not in them helping you out. Not saying chores are wrong, but chores are not about making your life easier (here's a great way to do that: stop having more babies); chores are part of being a family and living, working together and you teaching reasonable responsibility. 

Allie is feeding Maci and she posts, "Allie is such a sweet little mommy to Maci". 

No, Alyssa your daughter is not a little mommy. YOU are the mommy.  

She is really beginning to grate on my nerves. I think it started the 1st Saturday she was home from giving birth to Maci and she posted that she had survived her 1st day alone babysitting all four girls. Babysitting???

No, Alyssa you are not a babysitter, For the umpteenth time, YOU are the mommy.

What a superficial twit. 

 

So infuriating. Poor Allies childhood is already ending. Screen grab here.   Allie is feeding her sibling  

Edited April 16, 2021 by artdecades

[Lgirlrocks]

both parents are with the kids and this still happens. How stupid of them. She could have fallen in without trying. 

[Expectopatronus]

27 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

both parents are with the kids and this still happens. How stupid of them. She could have fallen in without trying. 

That makes my stomach lurch. She looks like she’s within centimetres of toppling in. 

[CaptainFunderpants]

6 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

both parents are with the kids and this still happens. How stupid of them. She could have fallen in without trying. 

Hope Alyssa was 100% ready to jump in right after her.

These people are so reckless with the lives of their children.

I'm starting to get the impression that Alyssa realizes she made a mistake with motherhood and now is just waiting to pawn it off on Allie ASAP. Even with fewer kids, I get the impression Alyssa would still be bored and ready to be done being a mom at this point. Yikes.

Edited April 17, 2021 by CaptainFunderpants
run-together.

[Melissa1977]

I was coming to comment about Allie feeding Maci. Wrong and dangerous!!! She was doing it unsupervised, because Alyssa was recording and not giving attention. Allie is 6, she cannot feed such a tiny baby! She could do it if she was supervised, sitting with an adult, in a comfortable position (why do they always bottlefeed Maci on the floor?), and it would probably be a very nice moment for both. But always always always with an adult on charge of the situation. 

Other 2 things that bothered me and well, I'm even angry, are:

1-Allie is feeding Maci while Alyssa is dressed as if she was going to a party. Full make up, wonderful hair, a lot of necklaces etc. Nothing wrong with that... except that using your 6 year old as a nanny, in order to have time for beauty, is not fair at all! Put a pair of leggings and a pony tail and feed your own baby, Alyssa! 

2-On another moment, Alyssa is bottlefeeding Maci (oh miracle!), but keeps recording and talking to the camera and does not look at the baby! The baby is on the floor, on the back side of Alyssa, who has her arm backward to feed Maci. I don't know how to explain the position, but it was so forced and unnatural and I'm not sure you can properly hold the bottle that way. What bothers me is that she was doing a ridiculous video, not something important. Why not to properly feed the baby, using that moment to bond and care, and record the video after that? 

I think that Alyssa has disconnected. She is clearly fed up of the SAHM thing. I have the feeling that Allie is getting so mature and responsible because she knews her sisters depend on her. It's a pity: Websters could be living a very nice life, if parents had both jobs and kids went to school, but instead of that they have a frustrated mama and a poor 6 year old trying to be a helpmeet. 

Edited April 17, 2021 by Melissa1977
Clarify

[SassyPants]

Unsafe parenting especially with the pool. They have too many mobile kids to be casual around a pool. What bothers me is they don’t even seem to realize it. Sure a parent can jump in and rescue one, but you have 3 mobile kids without a swimmer in the group.

Too bad Alyssa doesn’t enjoy holding and feeding her baby.

[JermajestyDuggar]

It’s crazy to me that Alyssa is sister momming with 4 kids. All the fundies who enforced the sister momming had huge families. It was out of need because they physically couldn’t take care of all the children. Yet Alyssa absolutely has the ability to take care of all 4 of her children. Yet she chooses to sister mom because she needs time to primp and make videos.

[UnicornHunter]

Really don’t understand the need to do full hair and makeup and 90s business casual wardrobe to sit at home and watch your six year old do your job.

[treehugger]

I can’t believe she feeds that poor baby on the floor!  Maci is the same age as my son, who barely gets laid down for naps because babies grow so fast and my husband and I are just soaking it all in.  Granted, there’s 6 years between my youngest daughter and my son, but babies need to be held!  Feeding a two month old like that is so callous! 

[candygirl200413]

It reminded me of that time Michelle was feeding one of the lost girls with a kitchen spoon from a can of peas on their back, like are you really pro life if you don't actually care about the safety for your child? 

[Jackie3]

10 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

I think that Alyssa has disconnected. She is clearly fed up of the SAHM thing. I have the feeling that Allie is getting so mature and responsible because she knews her sisters depend on her. It's a pity: Websters could be living a very nice life, if parents had both jobs and kids went to school, but instead of that they have a frustrated mama and a poor 6 year old trying to be a helpmeet. 

She's 26 years old, pretty and healthy and into fashion. Yet she's stuck at home all day every day, with tiny children who are filled with junk food and don't get adequate stimulation or exercise. Plus, she's spent the last six years that way! 

Little children are wonderful and fun and bring tons of joy. But they are also very demanding. It helps if you've had a chance to experience your own youth first. Alyssa knows her 20's are slipping by, and it must be hard to spend them tied down all the time. I'd almost feel sorry for her if she didn't have four little lives she's responsible for.

I don't know those kids, I don't know why it worries me so much, but that pool situation is a disaster waiting to happen. That gate is so flimsy, so short. The pool is so close to the house, and Alyssa seems so checked out. Thank goodness the kids are getting swim lessons soon.

[rebeccawriter01]

1 hour ago, candygirl200413 said:

It reminded me of that time Michelle was feeding one of the lost girls with a kitchen spoon from a can of peas on their back, like are you really pro life if you don't actually care about the safety for your child? 

Alyssa did the same I think. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

It makes me angry to see her six-year-old as parentified as she is. It's only going to get worse as Allie gets older and Alyssa and John have more kids. 

[Anna Bolinas]

I misread "coconut by yulya.kors" as "coconut by vulva.kors" and had to do a double-take. At least it distracted me from the picture of the baby perched precariously over the pool.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

No way could I handle 4 kids so close together, or possibly at all. I felt like it was a miracle I made it through 12 weeks of maternity leave and I love having my daughter started in a daycare I trust. She gets to socialize, do crafts (painting with hands and feet with help), have story time, cuddles, songs, etc. Her cup is overflowing with people to love on and engage with her. I feel for Alyssa's daughters that she is unable to give them that option when she is pouring from an empty cup. I had a bit of ppd the last few weeks which seems to have resolved getting back to work. That may play a role for her if present because it seems like fundies can't admit or receive help for such a thing.

[BeccaGrim]

So of course she won't do this. But, if Alyssa just sent those kids to--gasp--school outside the home than she'd be able to look forward to more time to do things she would like to do.  And maybe be less disconnected.