Alyssa and John 8: Four Daughters, a New House, and a Pool

[Jackie3]

30 minutes ago, nelliebelle1197 said:

I just don't think Alyssa is that bright and frankly would not be chasing some fancy, high-paying career no matter where she was born.

True, she lacks intelligence, but she does seem good at organizing. She'd've been a good office manager.

[nelliebelle1197]

On 4/18/2021 at 12:47 PM, Angelface said:

I think that perhaps this is more true than we realise. I don’t think that Alyssa realises that she has choices and can choose how she lives her life. I honestly don’t think that she realised that she and John could have used non-hormonal birth control and opted to be child free whilst they got to know each other and especially whilst Alyssa learnt to know herself. Hindsight and all that, but I suspect that a few years of working outside the home would have been beneficial to her. It’s not too late, she’s still only 26, but she somehow needs to understand how liberating (for HER) it would be if she and John could decide to send the children to school. John appears to be laid back and easy going so I don’t think he’d be too difficult to convince that school would be a good option. The main concern would probably be with regard to his father, Daniel Webster, who is very committed to homeschooling. Her health issues may be a legitimate reason for Alyssa to have an excuse to “have to send the girls to school”. All of them deserve more. The children need a real education, to socialise with other children and to join sporting clubs and extra curricular activities. Alyssa seems to need more than being a SAHM and John needs a wife who is more fulfilled. School would be a win win for them all.  But will they ever realise this and do something about it? Sadly I don’t have high expectations of them being sufficiently self-aware to recognise any of this. They need a fairy godmother, like in Cinderella, to give them a push in the right direction. 

I think you are overestimating John. He has shown no daylight between his father's beliefs and his own up to this point.

[SassyPants]

Daniel only has 6 kids and over a wide age range. John and Alyssa were able to avoid a pregnancy during the 2  years that Alyssa was sick. I have few doubts that they used some form of BC during that time. I don’t think Daniel Webster would bat an eye if Alyssa and John’s family was complete.

While the Webster’s might be very conservative in their religious beliefs, they do not appear to be bat shit  crazy level like the Bates.

[Melissa1977]

6 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Daniel only has 6 kids and over a wide age range. John and Alyssa were able to avoid a pregnancy during the 2  years that Alyssa was sick. I have few doubts that they used some form of BC during that time. I don’t think Daniel Webster would bat an eye if Alyssa and John’s family was complete.

While the Webster’s might be very conservative in their religious beliefs, they do not appear to be bat shit  crazy level like the Bates.

Websters are very radical. Daniel W was known as Taliban Dan because his extreme ideas. Their difference with Bates is that Websters don't seem to be quiverful (none of John's siblings has enormous families). But apart from that, they are as horrible as Bates, they go to a fundamentalist church and are against schools.

 

[SassyPants]

4 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Websters are very radical. Daniel W was known as Taliban Dan because his extreme ideas. Their difference with Bates is that Websters don't seem to be quiverful (none of John's siblings has enormous families). But apart from that, they are as horrible as Bates, they go to a fundamentalist church and are against schools.

 

No doubt that the religious beliefs that the Websters do have are awful-

[JermajestyDuggar]

None of John’s siblings have mega families. One or two might get there though. They just don’t seem like a bunch of fertile Myrtles and Bertles. 

[Laura2730]

Has anyone watched their latest Youtube video? They admit they kissed a lot before they were married and ended up telling both sets of parents and their wedding party!

[JermajestyDuggar]

Why are they all confessing this now? Josie confessed recently and now Alyssa? She’s been married for quite a few years! I just don’t know why it was kept secret for so long. 

[Laura2730]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Why are they all confessing this now? Josie confessed recently and now Alyssa? She’s been married for quite a few years! I just don’t know why it was kept secret for so long. 

Probably as one person comes forward it gives others the courage to do the same 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, Laura2730 said:

Probably as one person comes forward it gives others the courage to do the same 

I also can’t help but think Alyssa wants more views on her channel so this is her version of a “tell all.” Which just makes me roll my eyes. Oh no you kissed! ?

[HermioneSparrow]

John also said his dad is his biggest influence, and Alyssa said: "he's a godly man".

 

???

[justmy2cents]

At this point I’m guessing that only Erin, Michaela, and possibly Tori saved their first kiss for the alter. And of course Katie had to since they’re not even holding hands yet. I’m guessing none of the Duggars have broken that rule yet.

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, justmy2cents said:

At this point I’m guessing that only Erin, Michaela, and possibly Tori saved their first kiss for the alter. And of course Katie had to since they’re not even holding hands yet. I’m guessing none of the Duggars have broken that rule yet.

I could see Justin and Claire breaking it and keeping it a big secret from everyone.

[HermioneSparrow]

6 minutes ago, justmy2cents said:

At this point I’m guessing that only Erin, Michaela, and possibly Tori saved their first kiss for the alter. And of course Katie had to since they’re not even holding hands yet. I’m guessing none of the Duggars have broken that rule yet.

I think some of the Duggars might have. Possibly Justin and Claire.

[Jewels64]

Just now, HermioneSparrow said:

I think some of the Duggars might have. Possibly Justin and Claire.

Possibly John and Abbie too. I wouldn't be surprised if Tori kissed too.  

[SunnySide]

On 4/21/2021 at 3:34 AM, Paperplate said:

WTF. How exactly is she spoiling her newborn by giving her what she NEEDS?!? Of course it would be more convenient for her not to have to cater for the emotional and physical needs of the little human she created by choice.

No understanding of healthy and normal childhood development plus bad spelling make a great combination for a home-schooling mother of four!

I’ve never had children. So parents correct me if I’m wrong. But my issue I am wondering about is...a baby that little could still be  adjusting to the world, and would need a lot more comfort than an older child. Also, if that newborn has a health issue (I hope not, nothing is worse than a sick little one) they have no way to vocalize it, so crying and seeking comfort are the only options there. I guess I’d just expect a baby that small to be constantly fussy. I will forever WTF/side eye the shit out of any mom who’s just so obviously pissed that her child needing comfort equates to a “spoiled rotten”. It’s got to be a rude awakening to realize you have to parent each child and spend time with them and meet their every need when no sister moms are “fully trained”. 

[Melissa1977]

46 minutes ago, SunnySide said:

I will forever WTF/side eye the shit out of any mom who’s just so obviously pissed that her child needing comfort equates to a “spoiled rotten”. It’s got to be a rude awakening to realize you have to parent each child and spend time with them and meet their every need when no sister moms are “fully trained”.

I think Alyssa is not pissed, she's just trying to look relatable. Kelly uses the term "spoiled rotten" all the time with a positive meaning (like oh look at me, I'm spoiling them, I can't be hard with them because they are so cute). I hope Alyssa is sincere, but I'm not sure at all. I think she holds the baby for a while and talks as if she did for hours.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

@SunnySide some babies are fussier than others. My daughter is roughly 2 weeks older than Maci and she mostly cried in the afternoon and evening from 6-12 weeks and gradually tightened that window down. Now she's primary a pretty happy baby as he baseline, but things like a cold or tiredness or overstimulation throw her off. I have a friend whose son was born the day after and he cried for the better part of 15 hours a day for weeks, whereas I apparently just wanted to be left alone to do my own thing from day one, rarely cried, and rarely wanted a cuddle. My mom was so bummed. I wouldn't accept it to be normal for a baby to cry more than 3-4hr over a 24hr period without a doctor visit, but there is a big range.

ETA: crying that much every day. Obviously when we messed up sleep timing and let our daughter get overtired she let us know the error of our ways for a long, long time those nights.

Edited April 23, 2021 by GuineaPigCourtship

[BeccaGrim]

It really is just baby to baby. My oldest hardly ever cried. My middle cried constantly.  The third, and youngest was in the middle.  I think with the exception of the pool issue, Alyssa is giving those babies what they need. Question...I watched the video...how did the kissing in secret work with the chaperone? 

[SassyPants]

29 minutes ago, BeccaGrim said:

It really is just baby to baby. My oldest hardly ever cried. My middle cried constantly.  The third, and youngest was in the middle.  I think with the exception of the pool issue, Alyssa is giving those babies what they need. Question...I watched the video...how did the kissing in secret work with the chaperone? 

They probably knew which chaperones to select and which ones to avoid. As an example, Jinger was Jessa’s chaperone during the engagement episode when Ben and Jessa full frontal hugged. I doubt she reported any behaviors back to JB-

[FluffySnowball]

3 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

At this point I’m guessing that only Erin, Michaela, and possibly Tori saved their first kiss for the alter. And of course Katie had to since they’re not even holding hands yet. I’m guessing none of the Duggars have broken that rule yet.

And good for the others who have broken the rule.

It’s so important to be physically comfortable with one another, and rigid purity rules don’t help matters. There should be balance and a more natural, intuitive way each couple decides when to have which physical and/or sexual experiences. Different couples feel differently and one cannot impose a rule that fits everyone. 

3 hours ago, HermioneSparrow said:

John also said his dad is his biggest influence, and Alyssa said: "he's a godly man".

 

???

If Taliban Dan is truly godly, I wanna become an atheist. ? 

[AussieKrissy]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I could see Justin and Claire breaking it and keeping it a big secret from everyone.

I doubt Claire could have kept it secret from BFF jillary. At least it meant by duggar standards he had to marry her lol 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

It really is just baby to baby. My oldest hardly ever cried. My middle cried constantly.  The third, and youngest was in the middle.  I think with the exception of the pool issue, Alyssa is giving those babies what they need. Question...I watched the video...how did the kissing in secret work with the chaperone? 

I think the chaperone thing is BS for a lot of fundie families. Especially when your chaperone is a 9 year old. Eyes can’t be on you at all times. And stealing a quick kiss is easy to miss.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I could see Justin and Claire breaking it and keeping it a big secret from everyone.

Her mama would know.

[llucie]

In the Q&A she also talked about the girls room situation, and admited the reason for having Allie with the baby is just because she is older and more responsible and can help out. She does plan to put her with Lexi in the future. They also talked a bit about sleep training. John mentioned it was a controversial topic "because some people think its abuse", but that they just used some parts of the baby wise method that worked for them, and that he knew how to diferenciate when the babies cried because they needed him and when they were just being spoiled.

Alyssa also mentioned that currently she is closest with Katie, Carlin, Ellie and Addie of her sisters, and that it has changed with the years. And about if they will have more babies or not, as always they didnt really give a straight answer, but she said in 2 years they will decide if they have more or not.

Ah and also they said that during their courtship they both almost broke it off and that they fought a lot during their first year of marriage. Also that if Maci had been a boy they would have named him Zayn (Zane?) Alan, alan after John dad, because he looks up to him, its his greatest inspiration and such a godly man.

 

Edited April 23, 2021 by llucie
forgot some parts