Gwen Shamblin Lara 14: What Happens When Tammy Faye & A Zombie Have a Love Child?

[FreefromRF]

When I was in RF...I honestly had no idea how to use the remote to watch cable TV or play a DVD (we didn't have streaming channels)....it was not a need since all my spare time was supposed to be used to "serve saints",to listen to brainwashing CD's by Gwod, attend a weight down class (even though I became anorexic in those classes) or read something written by Gwod.

After leaving RF, I discovered Netflix, Amazon prime, and HULU and did alot of binge watching with my newfound freedom and spare time! The first movie/documentary I watched about cults was "HOLY HELL." It helped me realize that these spiritually abusive groups are EVERYWHERE! Anyone else watch Holy Hell?  (If you look for it on Amazon. beware that there are 2 titles named HOLY HELL. I am referring to the documentary about the Buddhafield group (now in Hawaii), not the shoot 'em up movie with the preacher turned murderer by the same name!)

[Ozlsn]

2 hours ago, FreefromRF said:

The first movie/documentary I watched about cults was "HOLY HELL." It helped me realize that these spiritually abusive groups are EVERYWHERE! Anyone else watch Holy Hell?

Me. I listen to a podcast called Zealot, which does not particularly in depth but mostly interesting episodes on cults. (They've been mentioned here before because they did one on Gwen Shamblin - that ep is not one of my favourites, mostly because the co-host irritated me and it could have been better researched.) Anyway, they did one on the group in Holy Hell, and after listening I had to watch. And wow, that was.. quite something.  The podcast presenters (the co-host changes each episode, this one was much better) both agreed that this was actually a group they could see themselves being sucked into - young, arty people who wanted to change things.  Me less so (the main guy creeped me out, perhaps he was more charismatic in real life. The cult a few eps later is the one I'd likely have been sucked into.)

[AmazonGrace]

Gwen does not worry about money or property, she just worries about whether you have sold your property and  given her enough money to save your soul.

(She won't sell her stuff, this is a case of "do as i say", not "do what I do". 

Spoiler

Also the episode in which it is assumed that you will still be here worrying about what you have left after the world has been destroyed. 

[SpecialAgentCookieCrisp]

On one hand she's saying "sell it all", but behind the scenes she's telling the leaders......"buy cabins in Sevierville Tn(and my son in law will get the commission)". Is it supposed to give the impression that the leaders have been blessed because they are perfect instead of just a simple real estate purchase that most anyone "Saint or Heathen" can do? And what happens if they don't buy whatever Gwen tells them to buy? 

[Xan]

To former RF members -- I'm curious.  Does Gwen charge for the summer day camp and for various lectures or programs?  What about the home school/ school program?

She's a clever businesswoman.  She donated the land for the church and got a big write-off.  She donated the WeighDown program to RF in 2006 and got another huge tax write-off -- along with insuring that she couldn't be held legally responsible now for anything that happened during the WeighDown program.  The church stuff is all non-taxable.  I figure the church pays for everything that she and Joe need or want and she probably still gets a big salary.  If she has everyone tithing, she must be making money hand over fist.  No wonder she flashes so much expensive jewelry.

On the main RF page, they have this picture.  I find it amusing that this is what they used while they were talking about how much Gwen does for the poor, the oppressed, and the downtrodden.  You never saw Mother Teresa ministering to her flock in a ballgown...

[AmazonGrace]

Quote

You never saw Mother Teresa ministering to her flock in a ballgown...

Perhaps not but Joe must have donated his tie to the poor.

[formergothardite]

45 minutes ago, Xan said:

She's a clever businesswoman.  She donated the land for the church and got a big write-off.  She donated the WeighDown program to RF in 2006 and got another huge tax write-off -- along with insuring that she couldn't be held legally responsible now for anything that happened during the WeighDown program.  The church stuff is all non-taxable.  I figure the church pays for everything that she and Joe need or want and she probably still gets a big salary.  If she has everyone tithing, she must be making money hand over fist.  No wonder she flashes so much expensive jewelry.

It reminds me a lot of what Bill Gothard did when he basically got IBLP to finance his lifestyle. I have a feeling the church pays for all her clothing and much of her trips. Of course, this didn't exactly work out well for him in the long run when his loyal followers decided to stab him in the back and take the money and property for themselves. 

46 minutes ago, Xan said:

You never saw Mother Teresa ministering to her flock in a ballgown...

Mother Teresa was entirely too much like Gwen. she was obsessed with the idea that poor people should suffer. And while she let the poor people get dismal medical care, she made sure she only got the best medical care in the world. She was not opposed to spending lots of donated money on herself. 

[FreefromRF]

4 hours ago, Xan said:

To former RF members -- I'm curious.  Does Gwen charge for the summer day camp and for various lectures or programs?  What about the home school/ school program?

It has been awhile since we left RF, but I collaborated with Mr FreefromRF. Over the years RF has had several things that were "offered" that involved cost....kinda interesting to see how things change over time..... sorry this is kinda long! She kept us busy supposedly so we would not have idle time with our idols!

-Summer Camp: We are pretty sure we paid a fee for summer day camp but do not recall it being exorbitant. People from outside of the Nashville area would send their children to stay with other "saints" for the summer so they could attend Day camp. A "good RF parent" wants their children to eventually move to be close to the mother church and be married off to someone that Gwen thinks would be a good match. 

-Desert Oasis would be like a WD convention held most summers and there was a fee to attend in addition to volunteering your time and usually taking time off work. 

-there used to be an annual week long family camp that was actually at a big camp place but then moved to the church- there was a fee and most out of towners came to attend. It was not crazy expensive.

-taking a WD class as a RF member had a cost to it and being in a class was expected almost constantly and often every family member was in the same or different classes. I do recall a few people telling me that they could not afford a class and they were allowed to take it without cost. Once the entire congregation took the Legends of the Treasure series and  all the members had to pay a fee (we figure they needed to raise some funds)...probably to pay for things like Michael playing a piano on a rocky beach in the videos and Gwen having a fairly large "boat" built onstage to set the theme when we did the class all together. 

-Whenever a new book by Gwen came out or a new music CD came out, everyone would flock to buy multiple copies. Needed a CD for each car and in the house, and a book for each family member and maybe even a few extra to give to family members who you were trying to convince that you were not in a cult.

-There was "WD radio" (I could be wrong on the name) that played 24 hours a day online and every family was expected to subscribe to it for a household fee(I know one family that got it for free due to their financial situation). I doubt this still exists.

-there was a weekly CD subscription service called "Constant Encouragement" that had a fee- you got a new CD weekly for 2 years.

-Youth soccer was just the cost for the shirt

-"Remnant Scouts" (regular Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts was taboo)- the only fees would be similar to costs with regular scouts like for a t-shirt, or dues, and were used for the "Scouts." I do not think this still exists

-They did not pass a collection basket, but there was a drop box near the entrance- most people we knew had their tithe automatically paid with online banking. 

-for "festivals" there may be a special "opportunity" to give money.... "Feast of Harvest" was a time she said you were to share your first fruits with the church. At first she let people be creative and each family would prepare lavish baskets filled with Wine, homemade bread, money, gift cards, produce they grew, perhaps something they made...people were amazingly creative and presented beautiful "offerings" from their hearts. Each family would enter at the main gathering and carry their gift and place it at the alter. After a few years, she announced that it was difficult to disperse those gifts appropriately and the new expectation was then an envelope with the gift of money/gift cards (certain kinds)

Again, sorry for the length of this response.....hard to choose what to leave out of my answer!

[Xan]

5 hours ago, FreefromRF said:

Again, sorry for the length of this response.....hard to choose what to leave out of my answer!

Thank you!  That was really helpful and interesting.  I figured she must have monetized a lot of activities.  She doesn't have to have anyone pay huge fees as long as the little fees are pretty constant.  And she collects those on top of regular tithing.  

[Ozlsn]

8 hours ago, FreefromRF said:

Whenever a new book by Gwen came out or a new music CD came out, everyone would flock to buy multiple copies. Needed a CD for each car and in the house, and a book for each family member and maybe even a few extra to give to family members who you were trying to convince that you were not in a cult.

This is so much like Scientology it amazes me. 

8 hours ago, FreefromRF said:

taking a WD class as a RF member had a cost to it and being in a class was expected almost constantly

So is this. Is there ever a point where it's recognised that you are at your "ideal" weight and you can stop?

[AmazonGrace]

7 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

So is this. Is there ever a point where it's recognised that you are at your "ideal" weight and you can stop?

Behold, thou hast asked a question and Gwod hath answered it. Gwod hath descended from the heavens bearing a golden tablet and thrown it  straight at ya. Dost thou need a bandaid?

Spoiler

An Epic Spiritual Journey

October 20, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

2 Comments

Now…if you have tried WeighDown in the past, take a moment to walk down memory lane. Do you remember the years of overweight and dieting? Do you remember when you first found WeighDown? You had been thru so much pain, dieted for years and years and had struggled for so long, and once you cried out to God, He sent WeighDown, a revolutionary approach to losing weight. Freedom at last! You felt so loved by God. For some of you, that has been almost 20 years ago. You were so excited and focused on just finding hunger, and you lost weight in a big way. Do you remember how it felt with the new focus—the hope, the freedom, and you had never felt so much energy? It was total freedom and a newfound relationship with God—many things in life changed as you were losing weight. Most of all, there was a river of hope in your heart and home. Can you remember that it was not hard and you were successful? But do you also remember that you became prideful because you thought you had this whole WeighDown thing down, so you pulled away and gained it back? Then you tried a second round of classes and you had some breakthroughs but still did not totally get it, so you gave up and gained the weight back again.

Time passed, and after a long break and much failure from going back to man-made diets and exercise and gimmicks—it brings us to this very hour…God has brought you back one more time, and it is for a great reason. It is time. And in the scheme of a spiritual walk with God, it is not that long ago. You may feel down on yourself…as if you should have all your weight off by now and that you should already know everything…that something is wrong with you—but to the contrary, you are still on the right purposeful path. You are on an epic spiritual journey. God, thru WeighDown, introduced you to another whole world on a different plane with real live demons and spiritual warfare like never before. You did not realize the opposition of the dark side until you tried to obey the Lord God Most High. Why would you expect the seeking of the invisible Kingdom of God to be simple and easy or to be obtained in such a short time—especially in a world of distractions? The spiritual Kingdom of God is much more complicated. There is nothing wrong with you—you have not wasted time…you are right on target—very much wanted and adored. It is time to gear back up to live out your purpose.

 

If you think you lost enough weight and you can stop you will become a sad fat demon bait.

 

[RFsurvivor]

8 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

This is so much like Scientology it amazes me. 

So is this. Is there ever a point where it's recognised that you are at your "ideal" weight and you can stop?

You might be at your “ideal” physical weight....but you might have other sins, other weight you need to lose. Weigh down applies to all sins!

[quiversR4hunting]

22 hours ago, Xan said:

  You never saw Mother Teresa ministering to her flock in a ballgown...

Well Mother Teresa was always in a floor length "gown"

[Xan]

2 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

You are on an epic spiritual journey. God, thru WeighDown, introduced you to another whole world on a different plane with real live demons and spiritual warfare like never before. You did not realize the opposition of the dark side until you tried to obey the Lord God Most High. Why would you expect the seeking of the invisible Kingdom of God to be simple and easy or to be obtained in such a short time—especially in a world of distractions?

If you think you lost enough weight and you can stop you will become a sad fat demon bait.

 

Real LIVE demons and spiritual warfare??  I knew there were demons in cans of green beans but I never realized that there were also real live demons (as opposed to fake, dead demons) in that Snickers bar that I had this afternoon.  

Now I've got "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar stuck in my head except I'm hearing it as "Food is a Battlefield"...

[AmazonGrace]

I hear that in David Attenborough voice. It's the new trailer for that documentary about real live demons who live on a different plane, like you've never seen before.

Quote

You are on an epic spiritual journey. God, thru WeighDown, introduced you to another whole world on a different plane with real live demons and spiritual warfare like never before.

 

[Ozlsn]

6 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Behold, thou hast asked a question and Gwod hath answered it. Gwod hath descended from the heavens bearing a golden tablet and thrown it  straight at ya. Dost thou need a bandaid?

  Hide contents

An Epic Spiritual Journey

October 20, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

2 Comments

Now…if you have tried WeighDown in the past, take a moment to walk down memory lane. Do you remember the years of overweight and dieting? Do you remember when you first found WeighDown? You had been thru so much pain, dieted for years and years and had struggled for so long, and once you cried out to God, He sent WeighDown, a revolutionary approach to losing weight. Freedom at last! You felt so loved by God. For some of you, that has been almost 20 years ago. You were so excited and focused on just finding hunger, and you lost weight in a big way. Do you remember how it felt with the new focus—the hope, the freedom, and you had never felt so much energy? It was total freedom and a newfound relationship with God—many things in life changed as you were losing weight. Most of all, there was a river of hope in your heart and home. Can you remember that it was not hard and you were successful? But do you also remember that you became prideful because you thought you had this whole WeighDown thing down, so you pulled away and gained it back? Then you tried a second round of classes and you had some breakthroughs but still did not totally get it, so you gave up and gained the weight back again.

Time passed, and after a long break and much failure from going back to man-made diets and exercise and gimmicks—it brings us to this very hour…God has brought you back one more time, and it is for a great reason. It is time. And in the scheme of a spiritual walk with God, it is not that long ago. You may feel down on yourself…as if you should have all your weight off by now and that you should already know everything…that something is wrong with you—but to the contrary, you are still on the right purposeful path. You are on an epic spiritual journey. God, thru WeighDown, introduced you to another whole world on a different plane with real live demons and spiritual warfare like never before. You did not realize the opposition of the dark side until you tried to obey the Lord God Most High. Why would you expect the seeking of the invisible Kingdom of God to be simple and easy or to be obtained in such a short time—especially in a world of distractions? The spiritual Kingdom of God is much more complicated. There is nothing wrong with you—you have not wasted time…you are right on target—very much wanted and adored. It is time to gear back up to live out your purpose.

 

If you think you lost enough weight and you can stop you will become a sad fat demon bait.

 

Direct contact from Gwod!! #soblessed

[Marmion]

4 hours ago, Xan said:

Real LIVE demons and spiritual warfare??  I knew there were demons in cans of green beans but I never realized that there were also real live demons (as opposed to fake, dead demons) in that Snickers bar that I had this afternoon.  

Now I've got "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar stuck in my head except I'm hearing it as "Food is a Battlefield"...

 

[smittykins]

17 hours ago, Xan said:

Now I've got "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar stuck in my head except I'm hearing it as "Food is a Battlefield"...

Paging @thoughtful!  We need another song parody!

[AmazonGrace]

REAL SLIM LADY - THE CRAP BATTLE

 

May I have your attention, please?

May I have your attention, please?

Will the real live demons please stand up?

I repeat, will the real live demons please stand up?

We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like you never seen a thin person before

Heels all on the floor

like Gwen like Joey just burst in the door

She started slimming her ass worse than before

 She  first was divorced, throwin' fits over furniture

(agh!)

It's the return of the "ah, wait, no way, you're kidding

you didn't just eat what I think you did, did you?"

But little Gwen ate nothing, you idiots!

I'm not dead, I just bought a new bracelet (ha ha!)

Gweninist women love Gwen, and Gwen

Pick a thicker liquor, Slim Lady, I'm sick of thin

Look at her, wasting away, tracking  her you-know-fat

Wasting  her you-know-food"

Yeah, but I'm so cute though

Yeah, she's probably got a couple of pounds that she's trying to lose

But tell me what's goin' on with her botox bridegroom

Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just drink booze

But can't, but it's cool that my hair looks like a dead moose

that rum goes on my hips, that rum goes on my hips

And if I'm lucky, we might just give meals a little miss

And that's the message that we deliver to little kids

And expect them not to know what a treat liquorice is

Of course they're gonna know what  Weigh Down course is

By the time they hit fourth grade

They've got the spiritual warfare, don't they?

We want nothing but mammon, well, some of us are infallible

We cut other people open like cantaloupes

But if we can dump bread, bananas and artichokes

Then there's no reason that a Gwen and a thinner Gwen must emote

But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote

Women, dump your tomatoes, sing the chorus, and it goes

I'm Slim  Lady, yes, I'm The Thin Lady

All you other thin ladies are just imitating

So won't the real live demons please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm  real crazy

All you other thin ladies are just imitating

So won't the real live demons please stand up Please stand up, please stand up?

Prophets don't need no facts in their crap to get applause

Well, I do, so f*ck them and f*ck you too!

You think I give a damn about tyranny?

Half of you demons can't even summon me, let alone ban me

But Slim, what if we thin, wouldn't it be weird?

Why, so you guys could just diet to disappear?

So you can sit me here next to profiteers?

Shit, Gwen Shamblin Lara better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Tarzan Baby and the Cursed

And hear 'em argue over when she ate bread with wurst

Little bitch put me on blast cause I disagree

Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Slim, hee-hee

I should download her videos and watch them free

And find the fuck out how she got a master's degree

I'm sick of your little vegetable soups

All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy food

And there's a million of us just like me

Who floss like me, who just happen to be stuck with me

Who dress like me, walk, talk, not eat like me

And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm the really hairy

All you other thin fairies are just imitating

So won't the real live demons please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm the hairy lady

All you other slim ladies are just congregating

So won't the real live demons please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up?

I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' you

Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room

The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all

And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all

I hate sugar, justl lick and  spit it

And whether you like to admit it, you just shit it

Better than ninety percent of you crappers out can

Then you wonder, "how can Gwods drink up these Magnums like Valiums?"

It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm thirty pounds

I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting

Judging nurse's asses while I'm hiding from the kitchens

And I'm twerking, but this whole bag of Doritos isn't hurting

And every single person is a Slim Lady lurking

She could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings

I'm in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a f*ck!"

With my windows down and my system up

So will the thin lady please stand up

And put one of those fingers on each hand up?

And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control

And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm the thin lady

All you other thin ladies are badly constipated

So won't the real Slim lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm really shady

All you other thin ladies are color coordinated

So won't the real Slim Lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

Cause I'm Slim lady, yes, I'm the really thin lady 

All you other thin ladies may not be menstruating

So won't the really skinny lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim lady, yes, I'm the skinny lady

All you other thin ladies are just emaciated

So won't the real slim lady please stand up , please stand up, please stand up?

Ha ha, I guess there's a Slim Lady in all of us

F*ck it, let's all stand up!

Edited October 21, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[Marmion]

3 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

REAL SLIM LADY - THE CRAP BATTLE

 

May I have your attention, please?

May I have your attention, please?

Will the real live demons please stand up?

I repeat, will the real live demons please stand up?

We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like you never seen a thin person before

Heels all on the floor

like Gwen like Joey just burst in the door

She started slimming her ass worse than before

 She  first was divorced, throwin' fits over furniture

(agh!)

It's the return of the "ah, wait, no way, you're kidding

you didn't just eat what I think you did, did you?"

But little Gwen ate nothing, you idiots!

I'm not dead, I just bought a new bracelet (ha ha!)

Gweninist women love Gwen, and Gwen

Pick a thicker liquor, Slim Lady, I'm sick of thin

Look at her, wasting away, tracking  her you-know-fat

Wasting  her you-know-food"

Yeah, but I'm so cute though

Yeah, she's probably got a couple of pounds that she's trying to lose

But tell me what's goin' on with her botox bridegroom

Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just drink booze

But can't, but it's cool that my hair looks like a dead moose

that rum goes on my hips, that rum goes on my hips

And if I'm lucky, we might just give meals a little miss

And that's the message that we deliver to little kids

And expect them not to know what a treat liquorice is

Of course they're gonna know what  Weigh Down course is

By the time they hit fourth grade

They've got the spiritual warfare, don't they?

We want nothing but mammon, well, some of us are infallible

We cut other people open like cantaloupes

But if we can dump bread, bananas and artichokes

Then there's no reason that a Gwen and a thinner Gwen must emote

But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote

Women, dump your tomatoes, sing the chorus, and it goes

I'm Slim  Lady, yes, I'm The Thin Lady

All you other thin ladies are just imitating

So won't the real live demons please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm  real crazy

All you other thin ladies are just imitating

So won't the real live demons please stand up Please stand up, please stand up?

Prophets don't need no facts in their crap to get applause

Well, I do, so f*ck them and f*ck you too!

You think I give a damn about tyranny?

Half of you demons can't even summon me, let alone ban me

But Slim, what if we thin, wouldn't it be weird?

Why, so you guys could just diet to disappear?

So you can sit me here next to profiteers?

Shit, Gwen Shamblin Lara better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Tarzan Baby and the Cursed

And hear 'em argue over when she ate bread with wurst

Little bitch put me on blast cause I disagree

Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Slim, hee-hee

I should download her videos and watch them free

And find the fuck out how she got a master's degree

I'm sick of your little vegetable soups

All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy food

And there's a million of us just like me

Who floss like me, who just happen to be stuck with me

Who dress like me, walk, talk, not eat like me

And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm the really hairy

All you other thin fairies are just imitating

So won't the real live demons please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm the hairy lady

All you other slim ladies are just congregating

So won't the real live demons please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up?

I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' you

Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room

The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all

And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all

I hate sugar, justl lick and  spit it

And whether you like to admit it, you just shit it

Better than ninety percent of you crappers out can

Then you wonder, "how can Gwods drink up these Magnums like Valiums?"

It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm thirty pounds

I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting

Judging nurse's asses while I'm hiding from the kitchens

And I'm twerking, but this whole bag of Doritos isn't hurting

And every single person is a Slim Lady lurking

She could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings

I'm in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a f*ck!"

With my windows down and my system up

So will the thin lady please stand up

And put one of those fingers on each hand up?

And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control

And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm the thin lady

All you other thin ladies are badly constipated

So won't the real Slim lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm really shady

All you other thin ladies are color coordinated

So won't the real Slim Lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

Cause I'm Slim lady, yes, I'm the really thin lady 

All you other thin ladies may not be menstruating

So won't the really skinny lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim lady, yes, I'm the skinny lady

All you other thin ladies are just emaciated

So won't the real slim lady please stand up , please stand up, please stand up?

Ha ha, I guess there's a Slim Lady in all of us

F*ck it, let's all stand up!

 As a response to this , here's this music video .   

 

[throwaway9988]

5 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

REAL SLIM LADY - THE CRAP BATTLE

 

May I have your attention, please?

May I have your attention, please?

Will the real live demons please stand up?

I repeat, will the real live demons please stand up?

We're gonna have a problem here

Y'all act like you never seen a thin person before

Heels all on the floor

like Gwen like Joey just burst in the door

She started slimming her ass worse than before

 She  first was divorced, throwin' fits over furniture

(agh!)

It's the return of the "ah, wait, no way, you're kidding

you didn't just eat what I think you did, did you?"

But little Gwen ate nothing, you idiots!

I'm not dead, I just bought a new bracelet (ha ha!)

Gweninist women love Gwen, and Gwen

Pick a thicker liquor, Slim Lady, I'm sick of thin

Look at her, wasting away, tracking  her you-know-fat

Wasting  her you-know-food"

Yeah, but I'm so cute though

Yeah, she's probably got a couple of pounds that she's trying to lose

But tell me what's goin' on with her botox bridegroom

Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just drink booze

But can't, but it's cool that my hair looks like a dead moose

that rum goes on my hips, that rum goes on my hips

And if I'm lucky, we might just give meals a little miss

And that's the message that we deliver to little kids

And expect them not to know what a treat liquorice is

Of course they're gonna know what  Weigh Down course is

By the time they hit fourth grade

They've got the spiritual warfare, don't they?

We want nothing but mammon, well, some of us are infallible

We cut other people open like cantaloupes

But if we can dump bread, bananas and artichokes

Then there's no reason that a Gwen and a thinner Gwen must emote

But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote

Women, dump your tomatoes, sing the chorus, and it goes

I'm Slim  Lady, yes, I'm The Thin Lady

All you other thin ladies are just imitating

So won't the real live demons please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm  real crazy

All you other thin ladies are just imitating

So won't the real live demons please stand up Please stand up, please stand up?

Prophets don't need no facts in their crap to get applause

Well, I do, so f*ck them and f*ck you too!

You think I give a damn about tyranny?

Half of you demons can't even summon me, let alone ban me

But Slim, what if we thin, wouldn't it be weird?

Why, so you guys could just diet to disappear?

So you can sit me here next to profiteers?

Shit, Gwen Shamblin Lara better switch me chairs

So I can sit next to Tarzan Baby and the Cursed

And hear 'em argue over when she ate bread with wurst

Little bitch put me on blast cause I disagree

Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Slim, hee-hee

I should download her videos and watch them free

And find the fuck out how she got a master's degree

I'm sick of your little vegetable soups

All you do is annoy me, so I have been sent here to destroy food

And there's a million of us just like me

Who floss like me, who just happen to be stuck with me

Who dress like me, walk, talk, not eat like me

And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm the really hairy

All you other thin fairies are just imitating

So won't the real live demons please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm the hairy lady

All you other slim ladies are just congregating

So won't the real live demons please stand up

Please stand up, please stand up?

I'm like a head trip to listen to, 'cause I'm only givin' you

Things you joke about with your friends inside your livin' room

The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of y'all

And I don't gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all

I hate sugar, justl lick and  spit it

And whether you like to admit it, you just shit it

Better than ninety percent of you crappers out can

Then you wonder, "how can Gwods drink up these Magnums like Valiums?"

It's funny, 'cause at the rate I'm going, when I'm thirty pounds

I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting

Judging nurse's asses while I'm hiding from the kitchens

And I'm twerking, but this whole bag of Doritos isn't hurting

And every single person is a Slim Lady lurking

She could be working at Burger King, spittin' on your onion rings

I'm in the parking lot, circling, screaming, "I don't give a f*ck!"

With my windows down and my system up

So will the thin lady please stand up

And put one of those fingers on each hand up?

And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control

And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm the thin lady

All you other thin ladies are badly constipated

So won't the real Slim lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim Lady, yes, I'm really shady

All you other thin ladies are color coordinated

So won't the real Slim Lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

Cause I'm Slim lady, yes, I'm the really thin lady 

All you other thin ladies may not be menstruating

So won't the really skinny lady please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

'Cause I'm Slim lady, yes, I'm the skinny lady

All you other thin ladies are just emaciated

So won't the real slim lady please stand up , please stand up, please stand up?

Ha ha, I guess there's a Slim Lady in all of us

F*ck it, let's all stand up!

that was amazing!!! ?

[AmazonGrace]

 

Evil Positional Coercive Influences are back. (Gwen is against gravity?)
 

Spoiler

 

The Most Superior Power

October 23, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

Evil is the Earth’s biggest enemy, therefore, it stands to reason that Love is the most important commodity on Earth. Underneath this love-force, the components of love are breaking down the barriers. It is chipping away at the stony exterior, and love eventually triumphs…love triumphs as mercy triumphs over judgment.  If you study its influence, you will agree in the end that—above wind and rain, above all sources of energy, whether combustion, kinetic, solar, or evil positional coercive influences—God’s True Love is the most important, greatest and most superior power on Earth because it moves the heart of man in a positive direction in a permanent way. Do not give up…for the powerhouse of this True Love from the Star of Love in Heaven is always within reach, always accessible to all who seek it. It is worthy of repeating…God’s eternal plan was never for the world to be starving but rather the Earth was used as a sieve to separate out good from evil, love from hate, so that He can build a Super Community that consists only of the best of the best beautiful emotions in the world. So if God is separating love from hate, our own human body, spirit, soul and mind have to eradicate hate and fill up with love to have an opportunity to go past the pearly gates.

 

 

[Ozlsn]

8 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

God’s eternal plan was never for the world to be starving

Coming from Gwen this is one of the most "WTAF, does she listen to herself at all?" moments. Let your people eat, Gwen!

[Marmion]

On 10/23/2020 at 8:41 AM, AmazonGrace said:

 

Evil Positional Coercive Influences are back. (Gwen is against gravity?)
 

  Hide contents

 

The Most Superior Power

October 23, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

Evil is the Earth’s biggest enemy, therefore, it stands to reason that Love is the most important commodity on Earth. Underneath this love-force, the components of love are breaking down the barriers. It is chipping away at the stony exterior, and love eventually triumphs…love triumphs as mercy triumphs over judgment.  If you study its influence, you will agree in the end that—above wind and rain, above all sources of energy, whether combustion, kinetic, solar, or evil positional coercive influences—God’s True Love is the most important, greatest and most superior power on Earth because it moves the heart of man in a positive direction in a permanent way. Do not give up…for the powerhouse of this True Love from the Star of Love in Heaven is always within reach, always accessible to all who seek it. It is worthy of repeating…God’s eternal plan was never for the world to be starving but rather the Earth was used as a sieve to separate out good from evil, love from hate, so that He can build a Super Community that consists only of the best of the best beautiful emotions in the world. So if God is separating love from hate, our own human body, spirit, soul and mind have to eradicate hate and fill up with love to have an opportunity to go past the pearly gates.

 

 

In response , I'm going to " go with gravity "  

Spoiler

 

, rather than trying to be like one of Gwen's " Perfs" .  https://howtorock.fandom.com/wiki/The_Perfs  

[AmazonGrace]

Other elderly ladies wake up to use the toilet and so does Gwen, only she prefers to blame the Divine, because of  course her sleep disturbances are  far more brilliant, powerful, brighter, keener, more beautiful, more direct, further advanced and futuristic, more safe and sound, more secure and all wrapped up in the word than anyone elses.

Spoiler

 

The Embracing Path of Love

October 25, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

 

My personal relationship with the Father grows daily. I am awakened to God both in the day and in the night. Just last night, after years of the same experience, I was awakened by God to get up, only to walk right into the brightest rays of the full moon I have ever experienced in my life. I was awakened at the only hour this one night when the full moon was not covered by clouds. You know—just know—in your heart, and your heart dances before your God. The heart and mind knows it is The Divine, and you can sense that the Heavens are sending His Spirit into your heart to awaken you, and always, in all my years, it is with tenderness, gentleness, and I feel elated. You are being prompted by something that is far more brilliant, powerful, brighter, keener, more beautiful, more direct, further advanced and futuristic, more safe and sound, more secure and all wrapped up in the word…God. This path of love is so embracing that you lose track of time and you look up and wonder—how did your anger become peace, joy, kindness, goodness and self-control? No one knows exactly how God’s Spirit replaces your spirit and how He lives in your heart, but each person who closes the wrong doors and seeks and opens up the right doors finds the same experience.