Gwen Shamblin Lara 14: What Happens When Tammy Faye & A Zombie Have a Love Child?

[AmazonGrace]

Feel free to skip this post if   you're not brain damaged from  starvation because Gwen isn't telling you anything you didn't already know. 

Spoiler

You don't have to swallow your food whole. Nowadays they have invented  handy little newfangled gadgets called utensils (eg. a fork is an example of a utensils). If you get some you can then use them to cut your food into smaller bites.  

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1727165

 

I guess Gwen thinks people outside her starvation cult eat like this 

 

Edited March 9, 2021 by AmazonGrace

[Alisamer]

18 hours ago, church_of_dog said:

I'm not familiar with Castle Anthrax, but I was reading it and mentally replacing each "smite" with "munch" or "crunch" or "slurp"

LOL!

Castle Anthrax is part of a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Sir Galahad the Chaste finds himself drawn by a grail-shaped beacon into a castle full of young women, and after a bit the following scene ensues (just the script here, a bit naughty though):

Spoiler

Zoot!!

Zoot: No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.

Galahad: Oh. Well, excuse me, I-- (starting to go by her down the stairs)

Dingo: (standing in his way) Where are you going?

Galahad: I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here, in this castle!

Dingo: (sudden realization) No... oh, no!! Bad, *bad* Zoot!

Galahad: What is it?

Dingo: Oh, wicked, bad, *naughty* Zoot! She has been setting a light to our beacon, which, I've just remembered, is grail-shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem....

Galahad: (incredibly disappointed) It's not the real Grail????!

Dingo: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, *evil* Zoot! (leading him back into the room with all the women in it) She is a *naughty* person.... and she must pay the penalty! And here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon: You must tie her down on a bed, and *spank* her.

Others: A spanking, a spanking!!!

Dingo: You must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then...... spank me!

Others: And spank me! And me! And me! And me!

Dingo: Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!!

Others: A spanking, a spanking, there's going to be a spanking tonight!!!!!

Dingo: ...and after the spanking.... the Oral Sex!!

Others: (amid squeals of delight) The oral sex, the oral sex!!!

Galahad: Well, I could stay a *bit* longer...

Wicked, bad, naughty, EVIL food! 

[AmazonGrace]

Captain Obvious strikes again. 

TL;DR: RF followers need annual instruction in the most trivial, self-evident "tips" of things that every three-year old ever could achieve perfectly well with absolutely no instruction.

Spoiler

Picky Eaters 101: 

1. Refuse to eat your veggies and whine about any parts of your lunch that you've decided not to like today.

2. eat only the good stuff  to avoid having a balanced diet (it's helpful if the good stuff is the least healthy part of your meal)

3. make the meal last forever because you're busy playing with your food

4. make a mess on your plate and leave a lot of leftovers

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32002-gwen-shamblin-5-she-is-a-shit-writer/?do=findComment&comment=1728208

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/33127-gwen-shamblin-lara-12-gwen-says-something-i-cant-understand/?do=findComment&comment=1891373

 

 

Edited March 10, 2021 by AmazonGrace

[AmazonGrace]

The Gwen Shamblin Lara Guide to Seasons:

If it's spring, do not eat.

[smittykins]

Also if it’s summer, fall, or winter.

[LifelongRFSurvivor]

So here’s a fun tidbit.
At i believe Passover 2012 or 2013 Gwen showed this video unironically and had a small portion of her sermon about it. This then became recurring guidance from leadership whenever you feel bad for any reason or question the church at all.
I watched this quoted not only from leader to member, but from member to member as well. And I witnessed this clip being show to new members who weren’t acclimating fast enough.

RF routinely makes fun of and discounts the severity of mental health. And this is but one example.




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[Coconut Flan]

Carry on here: