Dillards 86: It's a Long Way to Tipperary

[Kelsey]

16 minutes ago, indianabones said:

I tried to go back on the Pill a month ago, and had an allergic reaction to it four days later. I was so upset (I had gotten a year's worth of it, too!) I was hoping to stop my period since I have terrible cramps every cycle. And ruptured ovarian cysts, which are not fun.

My doctor wants me to try an IUD but I'm afraid I'll have an allergic reaction to that somehow as well. I have mast cell activation syndrome so it's not out of the realm of possibility. 

At least I don't have to worry about pregnancy prevention right now. Being single at the onset of the pandemic+social distancing=celibacy for this gal ?

I have issues with hormonal birth control but have a had good luck with the progesterone only mini pill. It's been 3+ years since ive had a period or a ruptured cyst.

[indianabones]

7 minutes ago, Kelsey said:

I have issues with hormonal birth control but have a had good luck with the progesterone only mini pill. It's been 3+ years since ive had a period or a ruptured cyst.

It's not the hormones that caused issues, my body just freaks out taking any pill on a daily basis. Even antihistamines. I have a very long list of antidepressants that worked wonderfully for a few weeks before I started waking up with hives and swollen lips, like some kind of puffy Kardashian. Every time I go on antibiotics I get a talk about how people like me are causing antibiotic resistance, since most people who say that they have a penicillin allergy are mistaken. 

I've been blessed with mostly-good health apart from this, though; so I'm just crossing my fingers that my cycles get better rather than worse.

[ExTeach713]

4 hours ago, SassyPants said:

If she has lost her family for making different family decisions than her parents, that’s really a Shitty thing. JL disagreed with JB’s decisions but he never cut JB out of the family. I think Jill still  has a relationship with everyone but JB. JB, you picked DD!

Also, how sad they couldn’t have had open, honest discussions before marriage and before a honeymoon pregnancy.

I’m finding Jill’s evolution fascinating. I would love to see some of her siblings follow. I think a show about how several of the Duggar children made their own way and discovered who they are as Christians (or not) in today’s world would be a lot more interesting than Counting On’s endless string of joyless courtships, arranged marriages, and human incubators. 

Edited October 1, 2020 by ExTeach713

[SassyPants]

I do wish that D/J would have expounded on how they saved enough money, while married, to finance law school, a home etc.., despite the fact that neither has had a FT job in the last 3 years. Now that would be useful info. I know it sounds like JB paid them off, but they have to know that’s an outlier and all the things that they have, including 2 kids, is a reach on their income.

[nolongerIFBx]

On 9/30/2020 at 12:37 PM, indianabones said:

I see Jill is still spouting the Duggar party line about hormonal birth causing abortions. I hope she eventually becomes better informed about how exactly it works by her doctor.

I'm surprised that she answered the question at all, though! They're actually living up to what they've said about wanting to be transparent, in direct contrast to Jill's family.

http://www.asa3.org/ASA/PSCF/2006/PSCF9-06Sullivan.pdf I have this book marked because it comes up frequently enough. You can't prove a negative, or at least, what this article is stating is that you can't prove that the endometrial lining being thinned by HBC doesn't cause some embryos to fail to implant. If someone feels very strongly about not doing anything that would cause a fetus to abort, it is reasonable for them to avoid HBC.

The fact that reproductive endocrinologists prescribe it to patients that are TRYING to get pregnant is pretty convincing that the thinning of the endometrial lining doesn't prevent implantation in subsequent months (although patients are usually taking something following a course of HBC to increase the lining).

Edited October 1, 2020 by nolongerIFBx
I see Neurogirl pretty much said the same thing in a later post than the one I responded to.

[sansan]

On 9/30/2020 at 2:18 PM, luv2laugh said:

I think it will take Jillard a few decades to become progressive enough to support the LGBTQ+ community, if they ever do. The majority of people that voted Trump in office are likely homophobic too. Look at Catholics like Amy Coney Barrett, Scalia, and Kavanaugh...

At least you said “likely homophobic”, because you are wrong.

[TheRadleyPorch]

I'm proud of Jill for the progress she's made, but I'm wondering how all of these "hate the sin love the sinner" types all seem to have tons of LGBTQ+ friends. I just don't know any (fully out and not interested in trying to change their sexuality or gender identity) LGBTQ people who hate themselves enough to be friends with evangelicals who think that a central part of who they are is sinful. I can believe that Derick and Jill would be willing to be friends with LGBTQ people because to them its just another sin, and their identity isn't the one being attacked. As a bisexual Jew I've definitely had evangelicals who wanted to be friends with me and then when we'd get into the nitty gritty of it they'd basically be like "well yeah I think you're going to hell but that doesn't mean we can't be friends!" Uh, yes, it does. Seriously where are all of these LGBTQ people who want to be friends with "tolerant" Christians?

[Giraffe]

@TheRadleyPorch, my assumption is she uses friend where I would use acquaintance because I agree with you, I don’t see people who she’s said are essentially “living in sin” as being close to someone who rejects who they are. It wouldn’t surprise me if her kids interact with the kids of lgbt+ (at the park, out for a walk) but I doubt it’s a mutual close friendship. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

31 minutes ago, TheRadleyPorch said:

I'm proud of Jill for the progress she's made, but I'm wondering how all of these "hate the sin love the sinner" types all seem to have tons of LGBTQ+ friends. I just don't know any (fully out and not interested in trying to change their sexuality or gender identity) LGBTQ people who hate themselves enough to be friends with evangelicals who think that a central part of who they are is sinful. I can believe that Derick and Jill would be willing to be friends with LGBTQ people because to them its just another sin, and their identity isn't the one being attacked. As a bisexual Jew I've definitely had evangelicals who wanted to be friends with me and then when we'd get into the nitty gritty of it they'd basically be like "well yeah I think you're going to hell but that doesn't mean we can't be friends!" Uh, yes, it does. Seriously where are all of these LGBTQ people who want to be friends with "tolerant" Christians?

Northwest Arkansas is one place where it might happen. There are large communities of both fundamentalist Christians and LGBTQ people there. 

[EyesOpen]

I’ve enjoyed their videos. I think they are being as authentic as uneducated and kinda media unsavvy people could be. Jill was a child when her family was on tv and infantalized even as a young adult cause she’s just a girl. I imagine JBand Michele are kicking themselves over this match but it’s seems like a good one for Jill. Counseling hell yes: and it’s going to take years to unwrap that shit. Going after their show for some sort of compensation for jill’s performances over the years hell yes: stop exploiting your children and bad things will stop happening. Birth control of any kind to set the right path for your family hell yes. Sure they are struggling a bit with the modern social issues love the sinner hate the sin stuff but this is a common Midwest couple - one of whom was raised in a cult on TV- something most of us haven’t lived through- being pretty genuine and open and open to examining their beliefs and way of being. I fricking followed them on Instagram. Go them.

[Bastet]

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I do wish that D/J would have expounded on how they saved enough money, while married, to finance law school, a home etc.., despite the fact that neither has had a FT job in the last 3 years. Now that would be useful info. I know it sounds like JB paid them off, but they have to know that’s an outlier and all the things that they have, including 2 kids, is a reach on their income.

Could they be getting money from JB to keep them from writing that tell-all book? I’m not suggesting blackmail—soon Derrick will be a lawyer—but I could imagine a tacit understanding between him and JB. 

[louisa05]

5 hours ago, indianabones said:

It's not the hormones that caused issues, my body just freaks out taking any pill on a daily basis. Even antihistamines. I have a very long list of antidepressants that worked wonderfully for a few weeks before I started waking up with hives and swollen lips, like some kind of puffy Kardashian. Every time I go on antibiotics I get a talk about how people like me are causing antibiotic resistance, since most people who say that they have a penicillin allergy are mistaken. 

I've been blessed with mostly-good health apart from this, though; so I'm just crossing my fingers that my cycles get better rather than worse.

I’m hypersensitive to antibiotics. I’ve had hives, rashes, nerve pain, muscle pain, and anaphylactic shock. The list of stuff I can’t take is a mile long. Typically now I take Benadryl with every dose of an antibiotic.  
My doctor is 70 miles away because every one I’ve tried closer has basically said I’m lying about the reactions. One recently told me that “you can’t say your allergic just because something makes you a little nauseous”. My regular doctor’s answer to that: “if you only had nausea, we’d throw a party”. 
I often wonder if a male with this issue is accused of lying and exaggerating all the time. I’m afraid I know the answer. 

[OrchidBlossom]

2 hours ago, sansan said:

At least you said “likely homophobic”, because you are wrong.

Sorry are you saying you don't think homophobia is a significant portion of Trump's base?

[lexiloumarie]

3 hours ago, TheRadleyPorch said:

I'm proud of Jill for the progress she's made, but I'm wondering how all of these "hate the sin love the sinner" types all seem to have tons of LGBTQ+ friends. I just don't know any (fully out and not interested in trying to change their sexuality or gender identity) LGBTQ people who hate themselves enough to be friends with evangelicals who think that a central part of who they are is sinful. I can believe that Derick and Jill would be willing to be friends with LGBTQ people because to them its just another sin, and their identity isn't the one being attacked. As a bisexual Jew I've definitely had evangelicals who wanted to be friends with me and then when we'd get into the nitty gritty of it they'd basically be like "well yeah I think you're going to hell but that doesn't mean we can't be friends!" Uh, yes, it does. Seriously where are all of these LGBTQ people who want to be friends with "tolerant" Christians?

I live in a conservative rural area after years of bouncing around cities and burbs. I have...."work friends" like this now because well as the Jewish lesbian from a bug city, I ruffle a few feathers. If it's being polite and talking at lunch, whatever. Not worth the fight. 

 

Nice part of work at home during the pandemic. I see none of them lol.  

[pook]

11 hours ago, ExTeach713 said:

I’m finding Jill’s evolution fascinating. I would love to see some of her siblings follow. I think a show about how several of the Duggar children made their own way and discovered who they are as Christians (or not) in today’s world would be a lot more interesting than Counting On’s endless string of joyless courtships, arranged marriages, and human incubators. 

It's late and I SEVERELY need to go to bed but I just wanted to say welcome to the pack that is FJ.

[TheRadleyPorch]

4 hours ago, lexiloumarie said:

I live in a conservative rural area after years of bouncing around cities and burbs. I have...."work friends" like this now because well as the Jewish lesbian from a bug city, I ruffle a few feathers. If it's being polite and talking at lunch, whatever. Not worth the fight. 

 

Nice part of work at home during the pandemic. I see none of them lol.  

Sure, I have acquaintances that I'm on good terms with like this too but I would not call them "friends." Maybe they're only "friends" in Jill and Derick's minds.

[lexiloumarie]

2 hours ago, TheRadleyPorch said:

Sure, I have acquaintances that I'm on good terms with like this too but I would not call them "friends." Maybe they're only "friends" in Jill and Derick's minds.

Yeah, I have a feeling that's who they'd be counting though because I don't think they distinguish between casual acquaintance and friends. I doubt they have close friends who are LGBT, but Derek probably has a classmate or they have a neighbor, etc. 

[seraaa]

14 hours ago, TheRadleyPorch said:

I'm proud of Jill for the progress she's made, but I'm wondering how all of these "hate the sin love the sinner" types all seem to have tons of LGBTQ+ friends. I just don't know any (fully out and not interested in trying to change their sexuality or gender identity) LGBTQ people who hate themselves enough to be friends with evangelicals who think that a central part of who they are is sinful. I can believe that Derick and Jill would be willing to be friends with LGBTQ people because to them its just another sin, and their identity isn't the one being attacked. As a bisexual Jew I've definitely had evangelicals who wanted to be friends with me and then when we'd get into the nitty gritty of it they'd basically be like "well yeah I think you're going to hell but that doesn't mean we can't be friends!" Uh, yes, it does. Seriously where are all of these LGBTQ people who want to be friends with "tolerant" Christians?

I see it being *theoretically* possible where:

- There is a frank understanding about thinking the other person's position is wrong (and you probably don't discuss it much beyond that. ("nice theory you have, which I'm going to ignore like it doesn't exists")

- You only hang out in environments where all parties are comfortable. Like you'd get coffee but wouldn't go to the club. 

- Nobody was trying to actively undermine anyone else or their community

Like, kind of similar to relatives with whom you disagree but otherwise get on ok with.

Possible? Yeah. Likely? Dunno, probably depends on the individual people involved. Also goes without saying that it's probably beneficial to also have friendships with people who don't think you're morally inferior. 

Edited October 2, 2020 by seraaa

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

21 hours ago, SassyPants said:

How do you know this specific detail?

It is an assumption, from watching the show & seeing the girls shopping with their bank cards. None of them have ever had jobs that would pay them directly, only the show. Everyone is saying JB gets all the money, therefore I'm assuming he's also  controlling the bankroll. Does anyone think he'd allow all the adult kids to have their own bank accounts? So it stand to reason that he give kids access to debit cards to buy what they need, but he's going to be able to see where & how they are spending their money. 

[FiveAcres]

19 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

It is an assumption, from watching the show & seeing the girls shopping with their bank cards. None of them have ever had jobs that would pay them directly, only the show. Everyone is saying JB gets all the money, therefore I'm assuming he's also  controlling the bankroll. Does anyone think he'd allow all the adult kids to have their own bank accounts? So it stand to reason that he give kids access to debit cards to buy what they need, but he's going to be able to see where & how they are spending their money. 

This approach would also prevent them from establishing credit in their own names, which will be another way the JB maintains control over his adult children.

[SassyPants]

24 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

It is an assumption, from watching the show & seeing the girls shopping with their bank cards. None of them have ever had jobs that would pay them directly, only the show. Everyone is saying JB gets all the money, therefore I'm assuming he's also  controlling the bankroll. Does anyone think he'd allow all the adult kids to have their own bank accounts? So it stand to reason that he give kids access to debit cards to buy what they need, but he's going to be able to see where & how they are spending their money. 

I don’t watch the show, so thanks for your reply. When you talk about girls, does this include the married women? 

[ExTeach713]

12 hours ago, pook said:

It's late and I SEVERELY need to go to bed but I just wanted to say welcome to the pack that is FJ.

Thank you!

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

4 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I don’t watch the show, so thanks for your reply. When you talk about girls, does this include the married women? 

More so with the older girls before they were married, and still Jana.  I think Jessa, josh, Joe , Josiah & maybe JD are totally dependent on JB for $$ so them as well. As well as the other 17/18 & up unmarried howlers.  

[Giraffe]

The women paying with bank cards doesn’t mean anything to me other than they live in 2020 and don’t carry cash. Beyond that? ?‍♀️

[SassyPants]

And if JB is distributing debit cards, does he base the card’s $ limit on the number of people in the family, therefore monetarily rewarding procreation? So if the 5 Seewalds are filmed, their card limit would be 5x, while Jana’s is x? If so, talk about a mind screw!