Dillards 86: It's a Long Way to Tipperary

[samurai_sarah]

Be your wonderful selves carrying on from here:

 

Edited September 19, 2020 by Coconut Flan

[Peaches-n-Beans]

I can't figure out how to quote from another thread so I'm just gonna respond here without the quote. 

I wouldn't be surprised at all if filming did push Derrick 'to the breaking point'. I just think it's less a TLC issue and more a Derrick  issue. Though I will say in the long run for Jill and the kids i think leaving the show has been really good for them and their family is by far the most interesting of the second generation duggars in my opinion. Everyone else is, well basically the same. 

Re duggars most likely to drink; I do not see Josiah being very likely to drink. First of all I don't see Lauren liking him drinking around her, and honestly he seems like the kind of guy who would respect that, which leaves maybe drinks with friends or family. Which I don't really see happening because of the push back he'd get from the more judgmental members of his family -*cough*-jimbob-*cough*-  I don't think he's the type to have the will or desire to put up with any of the judgement from home if he did drink (even if it's nothing said it'd be judgmental looks or pursed lips or something), I definitely think that kind of free will was ALERT'd out of him..

JD maybe but I still don't think it very likely, but I have less reason to think so with him then I do with Josiah. 

Joy is one I honestly don't know. I think unless she and Austin do something to actively prevent pregnancy she won't drink because there's always the possibility she could be pregnant. However if they did actively prevent I could see her drinking. 

[fundiesarefascinating]

Jill has been one of my pet fundies since the very beginning, so I do tend to cut her more slack than others. I was really proud of watching her in that Q & A. I really appreciated the stance that "each family has to think about where they are at and what they need" with their approach to public school. I hope that can be a foundation that they carry into other areas of belief and helps them start to see that what other people do or the choices they make are valid and that everyone has a right to decide what's best for them. What was really nice to see was the distinct lack of power differential between them. I remember when they first got together, I was always nervous that DD's experience in the world naturally gave him so much power over her. His willingness to share knowledge and power with her in their relationship is honestly a great sign of care, safety, and love for Jill and her kids... now if he could only learn to do that with other people too, then they would really be onto something. 

[LacyMay]

I'm interested in the more likely to drink or not drink speculation. 

I could totally see John David if not drinking himself being more moderate or not caring if someone else did (he did marry that pants and tank top wearing harlot Abbie ? ) he's a douche canoe (see medic corps) but he seems laid back enough. 

I can see where people see Josiah as being more laid back BUT I can't see Lauren being laid back or on board with it. She seems fairly steeped in the koolaid and has come off as a little pretentious previously. I can see her quietly disapproving of Jill. 

I can't see Jo and Kendra drinking but I can see them being more ambivalent to it. Or at least less openly judgey. Will they ever sit at the table with a bottle of wine? Doubt it. Will they go over for an alcohol free meal? Probably. Kendra seems steeped in the koolaid but more of a "hate the sin not the sinner" type girl. 

 

[mstee]

Funny how Jill and Derick have really been the only ones to “leave and cleave” but JB and Michelle have shunned them due to it. That was always one of  Michelle’s catch phrases but no surprise they are full of hypocrisy. It’s Michelle and JB’s way or it’s the wrong way. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I could certainly see Josh being one to drink in his car before going inside.  I'm obviously doing some imagineering of his life here but I don't get the impression he has the life he wanted at all.  It wouldn't surprise me if he self-medicates or did at one time since antidepressants and real therapy are taboo, too.

Jinger and Jeremy probably drink a little wine now and then.  I think the picture someone was previously referring to was actually a bottle of sparkling grape juice.

[SassyPants]

13 minutes ago, mstee said:

Funny how Jill and Derick have really been the only ones to “leave and cleave” but JB and Michelle have shunned them due to it. That was always one of  Michelle’s catch phrases but no surprise they are full of hypocrisy. It’s Michelle and JB’s way or it’s the wrong way. 

Yep, 100% this. Remember when JB’s dad disagreed with JB and M’s prolific reproduction, and JB trashed his dad in his book? What a Douc*he canoe. JB is a control freak who worships at his own altar of the green back.

[front hugs > duggs]

The quote also made me think of what else this applies to besides just drinking. Clearly there is variation in the kids beliefs. Some being more open then others about what else? Do some disapprove still of the women wearing pants? Would some if the kids be okay with kissing before marriage? 

[Mama Mia]

My completely random and baseless drinking speculation: 

Josh - 100% agree he’s the drink on the sly with self-pity type. Anna also. 
 

Jana - probably not. Unless she and Laura have wine or margaritas on trips. 
 

Jessa  & Ben - probably not. They might try a glass of wine, but Ben seems more like an occasional edibles kind of guy. 
 

Jinger / Jeremy - wine snobs for sure - unless he’s one of those born agains who blames all his past problems on alcohol. 
 

Joe and Kendra - naw.

 

Josiah and Lauren. - probably not now. If they get in with a more hipster type church crowd I could see them doing the craft beers and cocktails. I think they would like that kind of thing. 
 

Joy and Austin - 

John and Abbie - 

These two couples probably come across the most regular beer drinkers - I think that could go either way. Being ok Hanging out with friends after work or after ATVing having a couple beers - or they might see more folks who drink too much and are sloppy/ annoying and decide it’s not for them. 

 

 

 

 

[Pleiades_06]

58 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

Ben seems more like an occasional edibles kind of guy. 

Haha I was going to ask if people thought anyone would be into edibles!

Total speculation, but the way Jill and Derick were talking about moderation and respecting people who don’t drink made me think they were referring to people with alcohol disorders or addiction. Are there people in the Duggar/Dillard extended families with alcohol issues?

[becky_m2001]

I didn't watch the Dillard Q&A, but I've seen some recaps on Tumblr. My concern is this: how many of these major life changes is Jill actually making for herself and how many is she making to please Derick? I personally feel that he simply got tired of how restricted their lives were, even before leaving the show, and just had to go back to the more secular lifestyle.

[just_ordinary]

I can totally see Lauren with a sparkling wine. So I wouldn’t rule them out. 
For the in law wife’s- I think it has a lot to do what their family practiced. Additionally it has a lot to do with how the men is exposed to it. Joe and Kendra seem to be happy not question the no-alcohol or any rule. Joe is the new golden boy after JD. I am sure there is a lot of pressure to perform and thankfully Kendra makes it easy for him.
Josiah isn’t exactly JB favourite so to say and seemed very close to Lauren’s Dad. I don’t know what their stance is but for me they look as if they would like to toast to special occasions and I can see Lauren and Josiah join them. I am not sure if they are legally old enough but then I don’t think Fundies would care and from experience, many families allow the young folk a sip for a toast before they hit legal age.

[lexiloumarie]

2 hours ago, becky_m2001 said:

I didn't watch the Dillard Q&A, but I've seen some recaps on Tumblr. My concern is this: how many of these major life changes is Jill actually making for herself and how many is she making to please Derick? I personally feel that he simply got tired of how restricted their lives were, even before leaving the show, and just had to go back to the more secular lifestyle.

Imo opinion having watched it - she seemed to have very strong opinions about the changes and the transparency of talking about them. She still struggles with phrasing things on the fly which Derek seemed to step in and help when needed. But she was her most eloquent talking about these things that changed and why it matter. She repeatedly commented on basically not wanting to be a hypocrite with an imo implied "like parts of her family." 

 

I can see Joe, Josiah,and Jessa against any drinking for a variety of reasons. 

I can see joy, JD,Ben, and JinJer not caring. I'm pretty sure Jeremy's testimony about partying was her reference to some people need to think about their history before deciding. 

I can see Josh as a closet drinker and the hypocrisy really bothering her. 

Edited September 17, 2020 by lexiloumarie

[Giraffe]

I don’t have an opinion on the other Duggar children but I agree with those of you who’ve said Josh probably drinks occasionally, probably out of site of Anna and the kids. 

[Daisy0322]

Josh - probably with the mistress Im sure he still has and alone in his car after Anna and the kids are in bed 

Jana - never... she’s still under JBs umbrella and K actually think she’s fully fundie committed 

Jessa  & Ben - no. Jessa is the new golden child atm she would duck that up after being the “difficult” one all her life.

Jinger / Jeremy - absolutely. I think they never get drunk but definitely have a a glass or two when the go out 

Joe and Kendra - No, honestly are they even old enough yet? ? they both seem like they just keep their head down and do as they’re told though 

Josiah and Lauren. - Ummm I could see this eventually? Lauren with a white wine spritzer 

Joy and Austin/ John and Abbie - I could see both the men folk drinking but not Joy or Abby

[AprilQuilt]

I'll preface by saying that feels like a really mean speculation bus for me to even bring out of the garage, but I can imagine Josiah easily becoming dependent on alcohol. Like in another life he might have been a 'life and soul of the boozy party' type, but he seems to have that unhappy/repressed/conflicted side that doesn't have an outlet. There is a definite type who are all about FUN but who can also become dependent on various substances to keep them up to their own benchmark, or to block out invasive dark thoughts.

I don't know Josiah. I only know what I see of him. It just rings a little bell of recognition in me that might be totally off-target.

But yes can certainly see Lauren with a white wine spritzer, and JinJer as wine/gin/whisky snobs. Joy and Joe would have a mainstream-brand beer here and there, and Jessa a supermarket red wine. I'm not at all surprised that Jill is on the pina coladas, I can totally see her usual being a rum and coke or something. Like really sweet spirit-and-mixer 'starter' drinks that you might have as a teen/student while you are finding your way into alcohol. She generally works on a bit of a delay.

WKD blue for Kendra ?

[Melissa1977]

11 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

Jinger / Jeremy - wine snobs for sure - unless he’s one of those born agains who blames all his past problems on alcohol. 
 

I think he said wine was OK. I can totally picture him as a wine snob AND getting unbearable douchebag after a couple glasses of wine! 

All those fundie men should better refrain from drinking. They are awful enough with their grape juice! 

29 minutes ago, AprilQuilt said:

I can imagine Josiah easily becoming dependent on alcohol. Like in another life he might have been a 'life and soul of the boozy party' type, but he seems to have that unhappy/repressed/conflicted side that doesn't have an outlet

I agree. That poor kid was basically destroyed by Jim Bob and ALERT. He had all the potential and now he's a shadow. The last he needs is alcohol.

[OHFL2009]

1 hour ago, AprilQuilt said:

WKD blue for Kendra ?

WKD blue was one of the first things I ever drank...maybe that explains why I still don't really drink 15 years later ?

I'm American but we were visiting friends in England when I was in high school, and their daughter ordered one when we went to a pub so I tried it. I'm pretty sure my reaction was WTF is that?! 

[AprilQuilt]

27 minutes ago, OHFL2009 said:

WKD blue was one of the first things I ever drank...maybe that explains why I still don't really drink 15 years later ?

I'm American but we were visiting friends in England when I was in high school, and their daughter ordered one when we went to a pub so I tried it. I'm pretty sure my reaction was WTF is that?! 

I mean, that is the only reasonable reaction. Even I thought it was a bridge too far, and I was a keen consumer of Bacardi Breezers back in the day. 

Edited September 17, 2020 by AprilQuilt

[SassyPants]

I remember seeing part (or maybe all) of Josh’s Ashley Madison profile questionnaire, and didn’t it ask about alcohol? Did he answer that he had no interest in alcohol? Or did he say that he didn’t care one way or the other? 

[Pecansforeveryone]

I think non-fundie Josh would have been a heavy drinker and sadly one Duggar I would peg to possibly have a drinking problem. Michelle has referenced her extended family having problem drinkers in it, and that's why she didn't drink. 

[viii]

14 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

I can totally see Lauren with a sparkling wine. So I wouldn’t rule them out. 

Right?! I can totally see Lauren with a sparkling wine and Josiah was always a bit of an outsider before he got married. I could easily see him having a craft beer or something artsy~

[princessmahina]

I could definitely see Lauren going to a brunch (wearing a big hat of course) and indulging in mimosas. Possibly with Jill. 

[Kelsey]

I'm pretty sure Jeremy said drinking is allowed but they don't or something to that effect back when he was still a pastor in Laredo.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

There was some sort of “champagne” at Jinger’s birthday party. Michelle was drinking it, so it would have been sparkling cider. I was a little surprised that there wasn’t a TH to make that clear.  

Jim Bob, like Michelle, has a family history of alcoholism. When they’ve discussed it in the past, they’ve always said that’s why they don’t drink (with something of a subtext that they don’t think their religion requires abstinence).