Mrs. Midwest 3: Feminine Racism

[kaluce]

7 minutes ago, Perrierwithlemon said:

No, she's teaching them how to live cOuNtErCuLtUrAlLy... But in all seriousness, this is exactly why I dislike Mrs. Midwest.

I think my stages were: annoyed with Caitlin, feel sorta sorry for Caitlin being wrapped up in such a redpill beliefs and wish she escapes redpillism, then angry at her because she shows no remorse for smugly endorsing and spreading her toxic message that she disguises with flowers and sparkles. 

Yeah mine was "Into her content (it was a dark time ?),  angry about her two-faced bullshit, realizing she's not two faced she's just a snake in the grass, feeling sorry for her, and back to being just annoyed with her two-faced bullshit"

 

[mymelody]

Can someone tell me where there is pressure to be a 'boss babe' since she keeps reiterating this point. I grew up kind of isolated in a religious community (in europe so I was lucky to escape) where I only knew about pressure to NOT work/study and to be a housewife having children. 

 

[Perrierwithlemon]

25 minutes ago, mymelody said:

Can someone tell me where there is pressure to be a 'boss babe' since she keeps reiterating this point. I grew up kind of isolated in a religious community (in europe so I was lucky to escape) where I only knew about pressure to NOT work/study and to be a housewife having children. 

 

I really don't think there is any pressure. It was sort of just an internet phase a few years ago. I can think of many social media influencers who speak out against the toxic "hustle culture."

I think the reason she keeps reiterating it because the "boss babe" façade makes her look super traditional in comparison, which is how she wants to present herself. The way she has constructed her entire blog/youtube/instagram heavily relies on concepts like "boss babe" to act as sort of a foil character for her brand. 

[Petronella]

I remember at college feeling like I was criticized and looked down on for not having sex, and then I was chatting with a friend who felt criticized and looked down on for having sex, and we mutually realized that there's no one perfect way you can be that gets you magic acceptance from the whole world, and that feeling we were each feeling was just, "I'm not fulfilling everyone's vision of perfection!" Which is true, neither of us were, because there is no version of being that pleases everyone.

So I can believe that Mrs Midwest THINKS that there's this judgmental anti-homemaker cabal that runs the world, but the truth is if she were a working mom (or a single woman focussing on work instead of on getting a man, or a woman dating with no plans to get married, or a married woman with no immediate plans to have a baby) she'd feel the judgment just as much.

Basically, you just have to pick what's important to you and live it as well as you can in your circumstances.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, mymelody said:

Can someone tell me where there is pressure to be a 'boss babe' since she keeps reiterating this point. I grew up kind of isolated in a religious community (in europe so I was lucky to escape) where I only knew about pressure to NOT work/study and to be a housewife having children. 

 

The only time I hear it is from women pushing MLMs online.

[Petronella]

3 hours ago, Petronella said:

I remember at college feeling like I was criticized and looked down on for not having sex, and then I was chatting with a friend who felt criticized and looked down on for having sex, and we mutually realized that there's no one perfect way you can be that gets you magic acceptance from the whole world, and that feeling we were each feeling was just, "I'm not fulfilling everyone's vision of perfection!" Which is true, neither of us were, because there is no version of being that pleases everyone.

So I can believe that Mrs Midwest THINKS that there's this judgmental anti-homemaker cabal that runs the world, but the truth is if she were a working mom (or a single woman focussing on work instead of on getting a man, or a woman dating with no plans to get married, or a married woman with no immediate plans to have a baby) she'd feel the judgment just as much.

Basically, you just have to pick what's important to you and live it as well as you can in your circumstances.

Another thought has popped up for me: there's a big difference between people disapproving of what you do and people simply not being impressed by what you do. I think it's easy to sometimes mix those things up. Because there are people who aren't ACTIVELY IMPRESSED by Mrs Midwest being a homemaker (not saying it's bad, just not actively impressed), well, to her that's haters. People like her get trapped in seeing only extremes: either you think what I'm doing is AMAZING and you envy/emulate me, or you're disapproving and judging me!!

 

[Stormy]

2 hours ago, Petronella said:

Another thought has popped up for me: there's a big difference between people disapproving of what you do and people simply not being impressed by what you do. I think it's easy to sometimes mix those things up. Because there are people who aren't ACTIVELY IMPRESSED by Mrs Midwest being a homemaker (not saying it's bad, just not actively impressed), well, to her that's haters. People like her get trapped in seeing only extremes: either you think what I'm doing is AMAZING and you envy/emulate me, or you're disapproving and judging me!!

 

This feeds into the need for constant reassurance. Caitlyn seems to be one of those people who'll get upset with you because they're telling a story and you're not reacting enough. Or even go as far as to accuse you of not listening or not being happy/excited/supportive for them because you're giving a lukewarm/calm response and not verbally affirming everything they say. (I notice people like this tend to end many of their sentences with "...right?" and actually expect a response).

Also, whenever I see Caitlyn post a defensive video or blog post, I wonder if she would have rather just spent that energy talking to her husband, her mom, or a close friend about it instead. I can't imagine her husband is very satisfying to talk to, she's not close to her mother, she doesn't seem to have a ton of IRL friends, and I don't recall her mentioning any other individual (i.e., a family member, someone at her church, etc.) whom she's particularly close to. She can't do what most people do and just vent about whatever dumb thing she wants over a coffee date or on the phone while folding laundry. Posting an inflammatory video or blog post casts a net of followers to interact with, but no-one's successfully talked someone off a ledge from a comments section.

[Petronella]

14 hours ago, Stormy said:

Also, whenever I see Caitlyn post a defensive video or blog post, I wonder if she would have rather just spent that energy talking to her husband, her mom, or a close friend about it instead. I can't imagine her husband is very satisfying to talk to, she's not close to her mother, she doesn't seem to have a ton of IRL friends, and I don't recall her mentioning any other individual (i.e., a family member, someone at her church, etc.) whom she's particularly close to. She can't do what most people do and just vent about whatever dumb thing she wants over a coffee date or on the phone while folding laundry. Posting an inflammatory video or blog post casts a net of followers to interact with, but no-one's successfully talked someone off a ledge from a comments section.

I've been reading some interesting thoughts about Zoom, and why interacting from a distance seems more tiring than having the same discussions in person.

What I read this morning is about how much physical presence does for an interaction, all the unspoken aspects of communication and being together that add to interaction are just absent. It's a weird contradiction of being together but not being together that is strange and tiring for humans to manage.

I think there is a lot to be gotten out of distance communication (heck, this whole forum is distance communication), but the absence of physical togetherness altogether is really hard.

She seems to have deliberately created a life where she gets to control her image by being deliberately distant from people, existing as a femininity "expert" on-screen, more than as a fully dimensional human in real space. She just doesn't seem to invest in real life and in people she considers peers (in her videos, she's addressing viewers from her supposedly higher status, not interacting and sometimes seeking advice like in a peer relationship). This was true before lockdown too. It seems to just be her lifestyle choice.

It's just missing so much fullness. I don't think she has friends to talk to, and that seems to be a deliberate choice. Her life would be richer if she did, but I think it would also feel more vulnerable and messy, which to her would be a negative feeling at least at first. (But which in my experience is ultimately a good feeling because it connects your genuine self to others, rather than connecting only a perfected image.)

Am I missing something? Does she have friends/peers/colleagues that I'm just ignorant of?

(As a side note re Zoom and lockdown, it was also pointed out to me that, though introverts--me!!--get recharged by alone time, even introverts get something out of the way physical presence of others kind of moves things along. Having to entirely self-motivate during lockdown, without any physical participation in herd activities (heading to a meeting room) or being part of conversation physically without necessarily contributing words, is a real challenge. I'm looking forward to appreciating those things more when this is over!)

[kaluce]

4 hours ago, Petronella said:

Am I missing something? Does she have friends/peers/colleagues that I'm just ignorant of?

From what I've seen (so not speculation), she's had friends over and has shown that on her account but not for a very long time. There was a dinner a long time back with non-youtube people. She's been to church and sat next to someone she sits next to each week. She's had a fellow youtuber over- Nikki Phillipi, and has visited her as well on a road trip. They spent thanksgiving together. She's also called/facetimed/been getting closer to Abby Roth (nee Shapiro). 

In terms of friends she's frequently hanging out with, I haven't seen it. Her two latest 'friendships" with youtubers are both long distance. 

She also has posted some biblestudy groups but not hanging out with them like, afterwards. 

So yeah, I think she's missing a lot of in person communication and interaction. 

[AmericanRose]

That's probably where she gets the idea that people are consumed by a consumerist culture and hate housewives - her 'real life' examples are all on Youtube.

I mean, I hate that every holiday has 'sales sales sales!!' and every message is about how you deserve to shop... but that's not what most people do with their lives.

Edited April 29, 2020 by AmericanRose

[klein_roeschen]

On 4/29/2020 at 4:54 PM, kaluce said:

From what I've seen (so not speculation), she's had friends over and has shown that on her account but not for a very long time. There was a dinner a long time back with non-youtube people. She's been to church and sat next to someone she sits next to each week. She's had a fellow youtuber over- Nikki Phillipi, and has visited her as well on a road trip. They spent thanksgiving together. She's also called/facetimed/been getting closer to Abby Roth (nee Shapiro). 

In terms of friends she's frequently hanging out with, I haven't seen it. Her two latest 'friendships" with youtubers are both long distance. 

She also has posted some biblestudy groups but not hanging out with them like, afterwards. 

So yeah, I think she's missing a lot of in person communication and interaction. 

Purely speculating, but how much of her isolating from personal interacting with other people offline are her own choice? I wouldn't be surprised if he is isolating her, everytime I see a pic of him I get some creppy vibes.rrr't know how her youtube channel and social media pressence fit into it, because that combined are odd. She is an odd rabbithole for me to follow, everytime I see a pic of her, I'm BEC and pittying her at the same time.

[Gretchen-weiners]

Watching her new vlog I’ve noticed she spends SO much time in each video laying in her bed all done up making faces at the camera. What wholesome Christian YouTuber does that?! And she does this in practically all her vlogs...so cringey ?. 
Also she’s got fine lines on her forehead already. Homegirl just turned 25. She really is aging like milk. I like to think it’s her karma for being so racist and hateful. 

There was also this long shot that just shows her feet. Ewww ?. She makes it more and more obvious every day that her content is catered to incel creeps. Just start a premium Snapchat already Cait!

[Gretchen-weiners]

She showed her Pilates routine and the first exercise was Hip thrusts, because of course it would be ?

 

[kaluce]

15 minutes ago, Gretchen-weiners said:

Watching her new vlog I’ve noticed she spends SO much time in each video laying in her bed all done up making faces at the camera. What wholesome Christian YouTuber does that?! And she does this in practically all her vlogs...so cringey ?. 
Also she’s got fine lines on her forehead already. Homegirl just turned 25. She really is aging like milk. I like to think it’s her karma for being so racist and hateful. 

There was also this long shot that just shows her feet. Ewww ?. She makes it more and more obvious every day that her content is catered to incel creeps. Just start a premium Snapchat already Cait!

There were multiple feet shots. TOO MANY FEET. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

53 minutes ago, kaluce said:

There were multiple feet shots. TOO MANY FEET. 

Maybe she’s trying to appeal to the incels with foot fetishes.

[MrsSparta]

The close up shot on her lips when she was demonstrating the mascara application...Is this really who we're supposed to be getting 'feminine tips' from? Beating a dead horse at this point, but can you imagine hubby coming home after a long day of looking like an overgrown baby, to kiss her poorly drawn on Mrs Potatohead mouth?

On a less bitter note, she already has nice lips without the gross cheap liquid lippie she's wearing... Wipe it off and just put some chapstick it would look a thousand times better... And modest to boot! ?

[Gretchen-weiners]

2 hours ago, kaluce said:

There were multiple feet shots. TOO MANY FEET. 

When she zoomed in on her toes I wanted to puke 

[AmericanRose]

I only lasted 5 minutes, but the dog is cute!

[kaluce]

28 minutes ago, AmericanRose said:

I only lasted 5 minutes, but the dog is cute!

You didn’t miss much. It was legit just a walk, her making flirty eyes at the camera and showing her feet off, her doing barely any cleaning, and a long ass biscotti cooking scene. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

@kaluce, the way you described that reminds of Candy Brauer and her "modest" biniki videos complete with come hither looks. 

Edited May 1, 2020 by Pecansforeveryone
add a word

[mymelody]

It's such a struggle for cait to make grant look interested in her, he shows more interest in the food than her ?

[Timetraveler]

I should have saved the screenshot; on Reddit I saw a (Twitter...? not sure..) screenshot of a statement her husband made online. His message was something along the lines of "drug addicts should not be given any social welfare/assistance, because when you have money to buy drugs, you have money to buy groceries".

[Petronella]

11 hours ago, Gretchen-weiners said:

When she zoomed in on her toes I wanted to puke 

I'm no fan of Mrs Midwest, but I'm just as baffled by people who hate feet. I've seen a lot of people comment (all over) about the inherent grossness of any image of a foot, no matter how clean and cared for, and I'm just...what? Dirty feet, sure, but hating all feet in general is just a mystery to me. It would be like freaking out if someone's sleeve exposed an elbow. You wanting to "puke" at the sight of her feet seems like a you problem, not a Mrs Midwest problem.

[kaluce]

3 hours ago, Petronella said:

I'm no fan of Mrs Midwest, but I'm just as baffled by people who hate feet. I've seen a lot of people comment (all over) about the inherent grossness of any image of a foot, no matter how clean and cared for, and I'm just...what? Dirty feet, sure, but hating all feet in general is just a mystery to me. It would be like freaking out if someone's sleeve exposed an elbow. You wanting to "puke" at the sight of her feet seems like a you problem, not a Mrs Midwest problem.

I dislike feet (mainly just like men in flipflops ughhh) and I def agree it's a me problem. However, I also think it's well known that showing closeups, and extended closeups, of your feet and toes online is like a welcome beacon for fetishists and creeps. Her doing this in the same "scene" as her just like eye-fucking the camera just feels really suss. I've watched a lot of different types of vlogs and no one I have ever watched has shown that much toe. 

[smittykins]

9 hours ago, Timetraveler said:

I should have saved the screenshot; on Reddit I saw a (Twitter...? not sure..) screenshot of a statement her husband made online. His message was something along the lines of "drug addicts should not be given any social welfare/assistance, because when you have money to buy drugs, you have money to buy groceries".

I’ve seen that one on FB, along with “If you can afford to buy cigarettes, tattoos, hair extensions, fancy manicures, a smartphone,*(etc., etc.), you don’t need welfare/Medicaid.”

*choose at least 3