Mrs. Midwest 3: Feminine Racism

[Timetraveler]

And wth are "Marie Antoinette vibes"?

Yes girl wear that guillotine.

[AmericanRose]

A new video! OMG it's like Christmas!

7 Easy Ways to Look More Feminine
She acknowledges that she's covered similar topics but feels this topic can be repeated.
She believes femininity is a mindset and has more to do with your inside. There's a spectrum to femininity.

Spoiler

1. Play up your eyes. Am I supposed to think she's not racist because she's using non-white models to showcase examples?
2. Lipcolor. She says this is basic but something she sees overlooked a lot. She knows there's an emphasis on bigger lips in our culture lately, but don't despair if you have thin lips. Don't worry about injections - just add that lip contrast to your face. She believes one of the most confident feminine traits is confidence.
3. Wear feminine colours. This is apparently the "life hack of the century". A neutral sweatsuit is going to look more feminine than a black sweatsuit. If you're not ready for that, add colour to your accessories. But don't wear colour for the sake of it - make sure it's flattering.
4. Begin experimenting with being extra with your accessories, especially hair. Caitlin doesn't enjoy wearing accessories, but she's noticed it can make you look more feminine. 
5. Show off your womanly shape. Don't be ashamed of your rounded parts. You can show off your neck, your collarbones, your wrists - all of these things are different on women than men, and will show your femininity.
[Pause for MM to show off her womanly figure.]
6. Choose softer fabrics and materials. Leather, denim is unfeminine. [Ahh that explains the cotton and linen she kept recommending in her wardrobe blogs!] Learn how to mix and match your pieces so it's not an overwhelming display of masculinity.
7. Hold your shoulders back. If we hunch we hide our curves and look kind of sad and un-confident. She imagines she has butterfly wings on her shoulders and that she wants them to stand right up.

Nothing new or earth-shattering here (even the 'feminine colours' bit) but it does make me wonder if she actually enjoys all this feminine stuff, or is just trying to convince herself she does. From the sounds of it she had to force herself into this 'feminine' life, and was the exact opposite.

I felt she had done this video before and went searching. I have no doubt she's done similar videos (damn, it's only been a year and she's running out of content), but this topic intrigued me:

7 Daily Feminine Activities That Changed My Life

"Thank you for clicking on my face." Very cute.
Please remember she says these activities changed her life.

Spoiler

1. Clean your space. It helps clear the mind. The more we do it the more we engage with the feminine habit of beautification. Femininity is about maturity.
2. Nurture the things in your life. You can exercise that practise of nurturing on pets and plants if you don't have kids. Focus on showing that care and love to things and people in your life. You'll notice that generous feminine spirit growing in you. Masculinity = protection. Femininity = nurturing.
MM says she's not really drawn to children, she's not naturally very nurturing. She's had to practise this daily nurturing to really grow in that area.
3. Showing generous affection to your man. Words of affection, doing things, etc. There's something about the masculinity of a man that really brings out the femininity of a woman. To be feminine is to be generous with your love. A lot of men really thrive when they feel celebrated by their woman - but don't suffocate him. She loves serving her man.
4. Invest in your hobbies / personal growth. Creativity is very feminine - like 'creating' a baby. It's okay to enjoy a hobby without turning it into a side hustle. She likes to use her talents to bless other people (giving things she's baked or sewn).
5. Seek merriment. Seeking childlike (she clarifies, innocent) joy for life.
"That is very opposite from that hormonal, moody, anxious, dark, depressed place a lot of women get as we age."
Caitlin claims she was over 'there', and throughout her 'feminine journey' she's become very whimsical and tapped into that childlike joy she had when she was a young woman.
[Jesus spiel]
She doesn't think circumstance should dictate joy because we should rely on Jesus.
6.  Present Femininely. She says her New Year's resolution was to wear more colour because she thinks it's so feminine.
The more feminine you present yourself to the world, the more feminine you'll behave.
7. Follow feminine content creators. It helps her grow a deeper respect for femininity to see it represented across so many different women. What you'll get from a feminine content creator is that this woman is comfortable with in her womanhood. She's not trying to be andro or masculine. She's comfortable with her feminine roles in life, her feminine personality, her feminine beauty.

And that's the problem I have right there - the whole point of feminism is that there's no prescribed role you must play in society based on your sex.

She gives a list of the feminine women (I feel that's redundant) she follows, and Classically Abby is amongst them.

I'm assuming those depressed, aged women are career women. ?

I wonder if she sprinkles in those bits of Jesus to lure people (AKA, young women). You don't want to throw too much at them, it might scare them off, but little doses bit by bit until you're introducing them to Jesus and RedPill.

[JMarie]

2 hours ago, AmericanRose said:

A neutral sweatsuit is going to look more feminine than a black sweatsuit.

I thought black was a neutral.

[The Mother Dust]

As us elders know, girl is gonna be surprised at how she'll blink, and find herself in her 40s.  I think I was a sensible person when I was her age, but what I didn't realize then is how much MORE you mature.  I predict she is going to be so frackin mortified by these videos when she makes that maturity jump.  We've already seem examples of older fundies distancing themselves from content from their younger days.   Especially if she ends up having a daughter at some point.  Or she could end up being the Lori type.  Time will tell....but I predict back pedaling from her.

Edited May 9, 2020 by The Mother Dust

[cartouche]

13 minutes ago, The Mother Dust said:

As us elders know, girl is gonna be surprised at how she'll blink, and find herself in her 40s.  I think I was a sensible person when I was her age, but what I didn't realize then is how much MORE you mature.  I predict she is going to be so frackin mortified by these videos when she makes that maturity jump.  We've already seem examples of older fundies distancing themselves from content from their younger days.   Especially if she ends up having a daughter at some point.  Or she could end up being the Lori type.  Time will tell....but I predict back pedaling from her.

I hope so. The fact that she still bothers to use pictures of a diverse array of women of different body types, religions, and colors in her videos tells me she isn't totally lost to red pill nonsense. Even if she does do it to appeal more to the mainstream and gain more subscribers, we all know she doesn't need to care about diversity in order to retain the majority of her (male, probably red pill or incel) followers. Those guys actively loathe diversity.

I have a feeling there's a bit of cognitive dissonance in her and she still believes she can promote positive, mainstream feminine content while adhering to the ideals of right-wing extremists and benefitting from their support. The fact that she's already been "called out" by a popular right-wing YouTuber (literally for not being pro-white enough, lol) tells me this won't continue forever. As she grows in popularity, more and more of both her liberal subs and her right-wing extremist subs will see her as a grifter.

[The Mother Dust]

5 hours ago, cartouche said:

I hope so. The fact that she still bothers to use pictures of a diverse array of women of different body types, religions, and colors in her videos tells me she isn't totally lost to red pill nonsense. Even if she does do it to appeal more to the mainstream and gain more subscribers, we all know she doesn't need to care about diversity in order to retain the majority of her (male, probably red pill or incel) followers. Those guys actively loathe diversity.

I have a feeling there's a bit of cognitive dissonance in her and she still believes she can promote positive, mainstream feminine content while adhering to the ideals of right-wing extremists and benefitting from their support. The fact that she's already been "called out" by a popular right-wing YouTuber (literally for not being pro-white enough, lol) tells me this won't continue forever. As she grows in popularity, more and more of both her liberal subs and her right-wing extremist subs will see her as a grifter.

Do you mind sharing who this is? You can PM me if you dont want to put his name here.

[AmericanRose]

So I went back and looked at her very first video, and I have words.

To All the Feminine Women Who Feel Isolated

I forgot she used to open her videos with little movements as if getting situated. I'm glad she gave that up - it seemed so faked.

Spoiler

 

"I'm a feminine homemaker and I write about women's heart and mind issues. Specifically related to home-making, femininity, faith, mental health, beauty."
What does 'feminine homemaker' even mean? What does she do different from other SAHW's?

"I believe living a well-rounded life as a woman means getting in touch with your femininity."

So she's going to present a problem to us. Maybe we don't think it's a problem, but she's seen that this a problem, and she's heard from other women it's a problem as well.

"The belief that all women resonant with feminism. This is not true. I've noticed in our society there's this huge push right now with feminism to say 'women, we are badasses. We are goddesses, we're queens. Get that career girl. Gogogo. So our culture really celebrates masculine traits when they're seen in women. So when she's strong, a career woman, a leader - we celebrate those woman. We say they're so amazing, they're the pinnacle of woman."
Though I have noticed 'tomboys' are more acceptable to society than boys who have more 'feminine' traits, there's still a ton of pressure on women to care about their appearance and get married / have kids - even if she already has a high-powered career.

"But what about those women like me? I don't want to be a CEO. I don't want to be in charge of a ginormous company. I don't want to be a boss babe. I don't want to be 'grinding' as they say all the time. I want to be a wife, a mother, run a household, I want to maybe have some artisanal thing I do at home. I don't want to be traveling, jet-setting around the world all the time. I want to be at home, building into my community, my family. So what does a woman like that do, in a culture where she feels so marginalized. Feeling like 'I'm not a real woman because I don't want to be a lawyer/doctor/blahblah.'"
"When you look at the masculine journey, it's already set up. A boy starts with nothing. And throughout his journey he overcomes obstacles and he gets skills and he defeats the final... whatever it is. And he becomes a man, a hero. And I would like to argue that that journey isn't the same for women."
"What is femininity, exactly? And how can we, as women, go on this feminine journey? To find our best selves, to really improve upon something that's already deep within us. We think 'oh, I don't want to be the opposite of masculinity. Because masculine is strong and powerful and a leader and a provider. So does mean that femininity is weak, and needy and useless? Absolutely not. Femininity and masculinity are not opposites - they are complimentary."
Judging from this speech, she doesn't approve of lesbian / gay relationships.

She says we don't have a lot of beauty, lifestyle magazines that were like 'how to get a first date' or 'how to be more feminine'. Now all those magazines (Cosmo, Glamour), it's all feminism. It's all very progressive. And it doesn't talk about the topics a lot of women actually care about.
Because we're all about gettin' hitched and makin' babies!
As I recall, women's magazines were more about getting women to buy those fancy new inventions (washing machine, etc.) for her suburban home.

"I want to be a respectful wife."
.... what does that even mean?

She wants to use her channel to talk about she beautifies her home and herself, and also about her artisanal hobbies like cooking and sewing.
She's sounding a lot like the stereotypical women I grew up with, obsessed with boys and fashion.

 

"The idea that women would feel isolated because of their dreams of being a wife [tears up] like... that makes me really sad. Because, for the majority of human history, that was what women were able to say out loud. They wanted families. There's nothing wrong with wanting a happy family."
First off, that tearing up was very dramatic.
Second off, I grew up not into fashion and I was never 'boy crazy'. That made me pretty damn isolated. And yet even I was worried at 13 that I would never get a boyfriend, and did my best to 'attract boys' (I wore makeup everyday in 7th and 8th grade, and went to every school dance - and I put away my N64, because mom told me boys didn't like girls who played games). I guess it's fortunate I never got any attention that way, because it forced me to realise that painting a pretty picture isn't enough when it comes to building relationships - you have to have something inside to bring to the table.
Third... women weren't housewives throughout history. They had something going on, even if that something was 'just' housework - pre-modern conveniences, running a household did take all day. That is why you have the time to make a Youtube channel and take candlelit baths, Caitlin. Also, women didn't have a choice back in those 'good old days' - they were either dependent on their father (or brother, after the father died) or a husband. Getting married gave them a chance to have 'their own' house and family, but it wasn't really optional since women didn't have the ability to support themselves. As time went on and more women began to do so, they were looked on with suspicion and as if they were 'unwomanly'.

So kindly fuck right off with your anti-feminist nonsense.

I don't often swear, but I can't stand it when someone peddles bullshit as the truth.

[cartouche]

7 hours ago, The Mother Dust said:

Do you mind sharing who this is? You can PM me if you dont want to put his name here.

No problem! I actually linked it in another thread:

Mrs. MM discussion is at 1:15:40 and 1:20:55.

TL;DR: The YT'er is Robyn Riley. She has been growing in popularity as a red pill channel **for women** (because, as she said in one of her other videos, much red pill content is too brash and argumentative for delicate female sensibilities lol). She hosts a series called "Girl Talk," which has featured pretty much every right wing female YouTuber you can think of. She was asked if she would ever host Caitlin on Girl Talk, to which she responded negatively. Basically, she thinks Caitlin is a liberal for featuring diverse women in her videos and says that crypto-conservatives (conservatives who hide their true beliefs in order to gain acceptance from the mainstream) are grifters.

[mhainlen]

6 hours ago, AmericanRose said:

So I went back and looked at her very first video, and I have words.

To All the Feminine Women Who Feel Isolated

I forgot she used to open her videos with little movements as if getting situated. I'm glad she gave that up - it seemed so faked.

  Hide contents

 

"I'm a feminine homemaker and I write about women's heart and mind issues. Specifically related to home-making, femininity, faith, mental health, beauty."
What does 'feminine homemaker' even mean? What does she do different from other SAHW's?

"I believe living a well-rounded life as a woman means getting in touch with your femininity."

So she's going to present a problem to us. Maybe we don't think it's a problem, but she's seen that this a problem, and she's heard from other women it's a problem as well.

"The belief that all women resonant with feminism. This is not true. I've noticed in our society there's this huge push right now with feminism to say 'women, we are badasses. We are goddesses, we're queens. Get that career girl. Gogogo. So our culture really celebrates masculine traits when they're seen in women. So when she's strong, a career woman, a leader - we celebrate those woman. We say they're so amazing, they're the pinnacle of woman."
Though I have noticed 'tomboys' are more acceptable to society than boys who have more 'feminine' traits, there's still a ton of pressure on women to care about their appearance and get married / have kids - even if she already has a high-powered career.

"But what about those women like me? I don't want to be a CEO. I don't want to be in charge of a ginormous company. I don't want to be a boss babe. I don't want to be 'grinding' as they say all the time. I want to be a wife, a mother, run a household, I want to maybe have some artisanal thing I do at home. I don't want to be traveling, jet-setting around the world all the time. I want to be at home, building into my community, my family. So what does a woman like that do, in a culture where she feels so marginalized. Feeling like 'I'm not a real woman because I don't want to be a lawyer/doctor/blahblah.'"
"When you look at the masculine journey, it's already set up. A boy starts with nothing. And throughout his journey he overcomes obstacles and he gets skills and he defeats the final... whatever it is. And he becomes a man, a hero. And I would like to argue that that journey isn't the same for women."
"What is femininity, exactly? And how can we, as women, go on this feminine journey? To find our best selves, to really improve upon something that's already deep within us. We think 'oh, I don't want to be the opposite of masculinity. Because masculine is strong and powerful and a leader and a provider. So does mean that femininity is weak, and needy and useless? Absolutely not. Femininity and masculinity are not opposites - they are complimentary."
Judging from this speech, she doesn't approve of lesbian / gay relationships.

She says we don't have a lot of beauty, lifestyle magazines that were like 'how to get a first date' or 'how to be more feminine'. Now all those magazines (Cosmo, Glamour), it's all feminism. It's all very progressive. And it doesn't talk about the topics a lot of women actually care about.
Because we're all about gettin' hitched and makin' babies!
As I recall, women's magazines were more about getting women to buy those fancy new inventions (washing machine, etc.) for her suburban home.

"I want to be a respectful wife."
.... what does that even mean?

She wants to use her channel to talk about she beautifies her home and herself, and also about her artisanal hobbies like cooking and sewing.
She's sounding a lot like the stereotypical women I grew up with, obsessed with boys and fashion.

 

"The idea that women would feel isolated because of their dreams of being a wife [tears up] like... that makes me really sad. Because, for the majority of human history, that was what women were able to say out loud. They wanted families. There's nothing wrong with wanting a happy family."
First off, that tearing up was very dramatic.
Second off, I grew up not into fashion and I was never 'boy crazy'. That made me pretty damn isolated. And yet even I was worried at 13 that I would never get a boyfriend, and did my best to 'attract boys' (I wore makeup everyday in 7th and 8th grade, and went to every school dance - and I put away my N64, because mom told me boys didn't like girls who played games). I guess it's fortunate I never got any attention that way, because it forced me to realise that painting a pretty picture isn't enough when it comes to building relationships - you have to have something inside to bring to the table.
Third... women weren't housewives throughout history. They had something going on, even if that something was 'just' housework - pre-modern conveniences, running a household did take all day. That is why you have the time to make a Youtube channel and take candlelit baths, Caitlin. Also, women didn't have a choice back in those 'good old days' - they were either dependent on their father (or brother, after the father died) or a husband. Getting married gave them a chance to have 'their own' house and family, but it wasn't really optional since women didn't have the ability to support themselves. As time went on and more women began to do so, they were looked on with suspicion and as if they were 'unwomanly'.

So kindly fuck right off with your anti-feminist nonsense.

I don't often swear, but I can't stand it when someone peddles bullshit as the truth.

It’s so interesting that she says she felt pressured that 'I'm not a real woman because I don't want to be a lawyer/doctor/blahblah.'"

As someone who became a doctor, I often felt pressured along the way that I wasn’t choosing a path that was womanly enough. Despite incoming med school classes typically now being at least 50% female there is still a whole lot of prejudice faced from a whole lot of sources. So Caitlin can cry me a river about how people have suggested she should have a career.  The beauty of feminism is that I can do what *I* want to do and Caitlin can do what she wants to do. I don’t know why she wants to take my freedom from me. 

[Missindependent]

On 4/19/2020 at 2:06 AM, mymelody said:

does anyone remember in that one video (wish i could remember) where she said they would try for a child at 25 now she just turned 25 ? 

Idk if anyone mentioned this yet but a few weeks ago, she had a blog about jealousy. She posted about a woman she knew receiving some exciting life changing news and how Mrs midwest was jealous of her before realizing that jealousy is bad for her and Blah  blah blah. I think she is trying to have kids but isn’t succeeding . I can’t think of any other life changing news she would want to be jealous of. She probably wants to have kids now since she might be facing pressure from husbear as he prob sees her as a leech, which she is . I think kids are the last thing she should try for , but oh well. She will learn. 

[AmericanRose]

Caitlin is another Phyllis.
Feminists: You can be whatever you want! You can have a career!
Caitlin: Feminists look down on me because I'm a housewife, and they hate traditional women.

[JermajestyDuggar]

26 minutes ago, AmericanRose said:

Caitlin is another Phyllis.
Feminists: You can be whatever you want! You can have a career!
Caitlin: Feminists look down on me because I'm a housewife, and they hate traditional women.

She really is. There are quite a few women like that. TAM, Lisa Metzger, Lori, Zoo. They all have convinced themselves that feminists hate housewives or stay at home moms. I’m a feminist and a stay at home mom. I’m not the only one either. 

[Perrierwithlemon]

1 hour ago, AmericanRose said:

Caitlin is another Phyllis.
Feminists: You can be whatever you want! You can have a career!
Caitlin: Feminists look down on me because I'm a housewife, and they hate traditional women.

And it seems like she manages to mention this in every video. I'm a feminist. Do I look down on women who are (or want to be) housewives? No. Do they look down on me for choosing a different path in life? Many, but not all, certainly do. Whenever that happens, I just think of the Michelle Obama quote, "when they go low, we go high."

[The Mother Dust]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She really is. There are quite a few women like that. TAM, Lisa Metzger, Lori, Zoo. They all have convinced themselves that feminists hate housewives or stay at home moms. I’m a feminist and a stay at home mom. I’m not the only one either. 

 

It's probly not apples to apples, but as someone who would definitely secular homeschool if I ever had kids, I identify with the above comment.

[kaluce]

13 hours ago, Missindependent said:

Idk if anyone mentioned this yet but a few weeks ago, she had a blog about jealousy. She posted about a woman she knew receiving some exciting life changing news and how Mrs midwest was jealous of her before realizing that jealousy is bad for her and Blah  blah blah. I think she is trying to have kids but isn’t succeeding . I can’t think of any other life changing news she would want to be jealous of. She probably wants to have kids now since she might be facing pressure from husbear as he prob sees her as a leech, which she is . I think kids are the last thing she should try for , but oh well. She will learn. 

I could have SWORN this blog post was specifically about her jealousy on the other woman getting pregnant. Like I’m 99% sure it was- I wonder if she edited it ?

[AmericanRose]

1 hour ago, kaluce said:

I could have SWORN this blog post was specifically about her jealousy on the other woman getting pregnant. Like I’m 99% sure it was- I wonder if she edited it ?

There wasn't any mention of why she was jealous -- MM is good at vaguebooking like that, which makes me wonder if she made it up to 'relate' to her followers. Of course, she's under no obligation to divulge her reasons for feeling jealous, but I'm pretty sure she actually really likes her life right now, and doesn't want to change it (even for a baby).

[dairyfreelife]

23 hours ago, cartouche said:

No problem! I actually linked it in another thread:

Mrs. MM discussion is at 1:15:40 and 1:20:55.

TL;DR: The YT'er is Robyn Riley. She has been growing in popularity as a red pill channel **for women** (because, as she said in one of her other videos, much red pill content is too brash and argumentative for delicate female sensibilities lol). She hosts a series called "Girl Talk," which has featured pretty much every right wing female YouTuber you can think of. She was asked if she would ever host Caitlin on Girl Talk, to which she responded negatively. Basically, she thinks Caitlin is a liberal for featuring diverse women in her videos and says that crypto-conservatives (conservatives who hide their true beliefs in order to gain acceptance from the mainstream) are grifters.

Oh, fucking wow. It is cowardly and anti-conservative to promote diversity? Holy racism batman! And I though Mrs. Midwest and her spouse were racist. This Robyn lady is so much worse. 

And I am just laughing at her. Sorry. She's pregnant with child one and telling everyone what she'll never do with her child. Girl, come back in a couple years and tell us about how that went. It's your first child. You know fuck all how this is going to go and every child is different. She's in for a ride. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, dairyfreelife said:

Oh, fucking wow. It is cowardly and anti-conservative to promote diversity? Holy racism batman! And I though Mrs. Midwest and her spouse were racist. This Robyn lady is so much worse. 

And I am just laughing at her. Sorry. She's pregnant with child one and telling everyone what she'll never do with her child. Girl, come back in a couple years and tell us about how that went. It's your first child. You know fuck all how this is going to go and every child is different. She's in for a ride. 

Every mother will tell you that they had ideas and expectations about motherhood when they were pregnant and they had to adjust them once they actually had the child. Nothing ever goes perfectly and expected when it comes to parenthood. 

[AmericanRose]

I gotta say, I'm enjoying the older videos more than the newer. They seem to have more WTF content (probably because she expounds more on what she believes).

How to be Feminine in a Feminist World
Wear whatever you feel good in, that fits YOUR definition of femininity.
Oh haha, no, sorry. That was me speaking. This is Caitlin's way:

Apparently this was a reader request.

"I was thinking how can we be feminine women in a world that kind of prizes feminism and that masculine energy in women. How can we be feminine women?"

Spoiler

1. You don't need to isolate yourself from feminist women. Apparently Caitlin has a lot of feminist friends. Caitlin thinks it's okay to not talk politics with everyone in your life. She recommends not isolating yourself from feminist women, but don't completely surround yourself with them. At the end of the day, if you have a feminist friend who respects you and your beliefs, that's great - Caitlin thinks that's what feminism was all about - women having the right to choose what they wanted to be in life. She thinks women who believe in that older version of feminism will celebrate your right to choose to be a feminine woman or to be a homemaker. Caitlin doesn't believe in identity politics.
2. Don't harp on people about your beliefs. If someone asks, feel free to share your opinion... but don't feel you need to be aggressive. Focus on nurturing interactions. The beautiful thing about our modern, free country is that you're free to believe whatever you want. And if someone gets on you for your beliefs, remind them that the feminist ideology is all about women choosing what they want to be. "And that's a good way to put the kibosh on some of that 3rd wave nastiness."
3. Don't hide your femininity. It's important to flourish as a feminine woman in a public setting, because it brings other women out of hiding. "I decided to come out into the open and say, yeah, I'm a housewife... and I love it." And when Caitlin 'came out' a bunch of women appeared and said they were happy she was talking about it, because they believed 'it' too but they were too scared to talk about it.
4. Reject feminist messages. "Slay girl slay", "you're a goddess", "you're a queen", "you can do no wrong", "you can do anything, absolutely anything, and have kids, and travel the world and 3 dogs."
Apparently these are crazy messages that anything is possible. But Caitlin isn't a downer on the belief that women can do anything! But she thinks we've stopped being realistic and feminist messages encourage us into lifestyles that aren't sustainable. Caitlin has begun rejecting those messages and replaced them with traditional ones: the importance of family, motherhood, instincts. Surround yourself with positive feminine messages, don't feast on feminist messages. Take them in moderation, discern the truth. And then you'll begin to create your own beliefs. You'll be able to see what's real, and what's 'happy thoughts'. Happy thoughts are thinking someone can be beautiful at 400lbs or... 75lbs. She encourages you to remove yourself from those feminist wishful thinking messages and move toward messages of self-improvement - that changed Caitlin's life when she stopped believing she was gorgeous no matter what. She was able to take control of her skin and diet and exercise and say, "No, I don't look my best. And that's okay because I can improve." She thinks that's the problem with feminist messages - they tell you that you're your best all the time and they don't encourage self-improvement.

WTF is 'masculine energy'? I have a wall hanging that says 'bold, fearless, strong'... but it's pink with a floral background. Is that masculine?? When I was moving across the country and had to lug my luggage + cat stuff out of my car and into a hotel room every night, I would grit my teeth and say "I am a strong, independent woman" to get me through. Is that masculine?? I still identify as a woman, though...

1. Well, I agree you don't have to talk politics with everyone, but here we get to the root of... everything: Caitlin thinks 3rd wave feminism is a judgmental lie that promises women too much and shames those who don't want careers.
2. Should someone tell her there were radical 1st and 2nd wave feminists?
3. Coming out as a housewife is NOT the same thing as coming out, Caitlin. Despite your wish to be a martyr, no one really cares (though I imagine family might be concerned, because even if it's not romantic to think your husband might die or divorce you, it does happen, and then what would you do). 
4. So from what I can tell, Caitlin "bought into" the "feminist message" that she was great as she was, but she was miserable. Until she found the feminine message of self-improvement, and began working on herself.
I see those messages of empowerment, but only in actual feminist spaces. Was she seeking them out? More mainstream magazines still seem to be about bringing him pleasure and how to look sexy, etc. Also, if the majority of women were all 100% satisfied with themselves and their lives, I doubt the beauty industry would be worth ~$532b, and the diet industry ~$72b.

Her last piece of advice: unite with other feminine women and "encourage each other in what we're doing".
I feel as though this is some sort of RedPill signalling.

[dairyfreelife]

On 5/10/2020 at 2:00 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Every mother will tell you that they had ideas and expectations about motherhood when they were pregnant and they had to adjust them once they actually had the child. Nothing ever goes perfectly and expected when it comes to parenthood. 

Oh for sure. Everyone has ideas or expectations about any new situation. It's the smugness with which she says that she will never do this or that that makes me think she's in for a ride. I can imagine when she does make any changes, she won't admit it. Because she cannot possibly be wrong. *eyeroll*

[cartouche]

4 hours ago, dairyfreelife said:

Oh for sure. Everyone has ideas or expectations about any new situation. It's the smugness with which she says that she will never do this or that that makes me think she's in for a ride. I can imagine when she does make any changes, she won't admit it. Because she cannot possibly be wrong. *eyeroll*

Yep, that YouTuber is very smug lately because she recently completed the trad woman's ultimate journey of having a baby and becoming a stay-at-home mother. So basically she gets all the points and now has something to wave in the face of those other, lowly conservative e-thots who don't have husbands or families yet. (I say all this with heavy sarcasm.) Not to get too off-topic, but a pattern that I've found really sad is conservative female influencers trying to out-trad, out-religious, out-anti-feminist each other. It's sad not just because it's the newest form of women online trying to tear each other down for the attention of men, but because if you're a woman who truly believes in all that stuff, then what happens when you find out you're infertile? What happens if your husband cheats on you and you (God forbid!) you actually have the self-worth to leave him? What if he dies, leaving you a single mother? Nobody has a picture-perfect life by any set of standards, but this particular set of standards is especially toxic because it places a woman's worth in the control of men and, more or less, fate. And then when something goes wrong, somehow the woman is still to blame. ?

As much as I love baking, home decor, and nuturing people, sorry! I will never adhere to these other supposed trad, red pill values. To do so would be to completely destroy myself mentally, which--surprise, surprise-- is what many of these psycho male followers want.

[kaluce]

Living for this plagiarism  in her latest blog post. She doesn’t even TRY to act like it’s her own recipe. 

 

She does say it's from a "friend's family cookbook" but like- is it? She also does this on vlogs "Oh I found this bread recipe lets make it" and then people alllll say it's "her" bread recipe. I can't. 

Edited May 14, 2020 by kaluce

[AmericanRose]

Hello and welcome to the next installment of MM's old videos!

Don't Destroy Your Beauty | Nurture It
This might be BEC, but damn the "getting ready to film" motions in this one are... odd.

Caitlin is filming from her in-laws.

Today's topic is why we, as women, should nurture and lean into our beauty. Why it matters, and what can be gained from doing it.

Spoiler

Caitlin says there's been a rise in the discussion about unattainable beauty standards in our culture. She thinks this idea has taken hold because it's "not completely wrong".

300 years ago when we were on the farm or small town, there was no Instagram models, Internet, etc. The most beautiful woman you knew might have been your second cousin. There were a lot less faces you were exposed to, and by extension, a lot less beauty. So when you would compare yourself, it was to your second cousin, or a girl from church. "It wasn't some Brazilian Victoria's Secret model that someone hand-picked from the beaches of the Pacific coast."

She doesn't think unattainable beauty is completely wrong, because we're exposed to higher levels of beauty these days and that can distort our thinking.

She's seen people respond in 2 different negative ways.
Radical Feminists. They 'shirk' beauty standards so much that they actually destroy their beauty. Their way of rebelling against beauty standards is by not conforming at all. That's where you get the rainbow armpit hair or the girls who don't take care of basic hygiene, or they destroy their hair / face / bodies, by not caring for and nurturing their bodies. "We don't care about your beauty standards, so I'm gonna make myself hideous and you still have to love me because a woman's beauty isn't all that matters."
Complete obsession. They dive right in and become the 'most beautiful' through insane plastic surgery, and a million dollar wardrobe. Instead of approaching beauty standards in a balanced and healthy way, they're becoming clones of themselves.
A woman's beauty shouldn't be all that matters. But there's a way to approach it that puts obsession and destruction aside. Let's find balance! We do that by celebrating our individual beauty and caring for it.
In response to obsession, we can celebrate our individual beauty.
In response to destruction, we can care for our beauty.
Femininity is all about nurturing the things in your life (spouse/kids/JOB).
As women, we are all born with a measure of beauty. 
We can step into that beauty in a way that empowers us and gives us confidence. Take care of your body, feed yourself foods that will enliven your body and give off that health vitality, and by exercising in a way that makes you happy and keeps you young and healthy. It's about caring for your hair, skin, and making sure you have clothes that make you feel beautiful, but not spending tons of money. It's about nurturing in a balanced way. She did this journey in 2018 and it completely improved her life. It took work, but what good things in life doesn't? Work is not something to be feared.
"I'm naturally a very lazy person."
She had to work to improve her beauty, and it made her more disciplined, and a better person.
"And I really encourage you not to think 'ugh, the fact that I have to shave means I'm oppressed'. It's like, no, it's just general maintenance of your body." Bodies are gross they need maintenance. They need cleaning, shaving, beautification. And it will help you feel so good.
And that's what she's about on this channel. How can we use femininity and the nurturing of it to build us into better people, happier people, STABLE people that can be in stable relationships and create stable communities.
We should not shirk off our beauty and think that's a good thing because we can spend more time on other people, because other people like it when you take care of yourself. When you take care of yourself you signal to everyone around you, I'm healthy, I take responsibility for myself, I treasure myself and because of that, I can treasure you. I can take responsibility for our relationship, I can nurture you as well because I nurture myself.
"Don't underestimate how much simple nurturing of yourself will actually bless people around you, especially your spouse."
It made Caitlin happy as a kid to see her mom taking care of herself with a clay face mask or a walk with a friend.
She's not saying you're a bad person if you don't do these things, just encouraging you to be open. It's about you being your best self, and then going on to do great things because you feel good, and you look good, and people sense that confidence.
She thinks there's a healthy way to "challenge" (why the air quotes, Caitlin?) beauty standards: by living into your own unconventional traits. When skinny legs were super in and she had thick legs, she didn't hide them. She thinks that's what you see in Kim Kardashian - she just made what she was the new beautiful thing. 
"I don't have a ski slope nose. I'm okay with that. Because my mom didn't have a ski slope nose either, and I thought she was the most beautiful woman on the face of the planet. I think that her embracing that about herself and not complaining about it, really taught me that uniquely shaped noses are wonderful."
Don't hate on yourself, especially around younger girls.
Don't be insane and be like "I'm the prettiest princess in the world!" but don't be mean or hard on yourself. Always seek that balance.

 

Comment: I'm so happy that there is someone promoting more realistic standards of beauty and personal care. I feel like many young women my age, have lowered standards for themselves regarding basic hygiene and beauty in response to the very radical wave of feminism that has taken charge these past few years and it's sad. Then, they complain about men not finding them attractive or not feeling confident with themselves but don't realize some of the choices they make have greatly influenced that. Keep up the good work!

Well, before I begin I have to confess:
I eat healthy (doing the Whole30 this month!), exercise, and shower every night. I use deodorant and brush my teeth 2x a day. I have a (at home) spa weekend planned for next week. But I haven't shaved my legs since June 12th 2018 (yes, I remember the date - I was having surgery that day and didn't want them to see my hairy legs ?). Of course, no one sees my legs and if there was a chance of that, I would start shaving them again, but I don't see the harm in sparing them the trauma of a razor, and sparing myself the time it takes.

First: there's been a rise in this discussion? I feel as though this has been a topic ever since I was a kid... before Insta, it was magazines promoting unhealthy and unrealistic body types.

So! I have to admit, I'm not as out in the world as Caitlin - I haven't met any of these radical feminists yet.  The most outspoken feminist friend I have is a lesbian, and she cut her hair off so it's 90s boy band style... but she's still clean and appropriately dressed, and she admits that if her wife stopped shaving, she just couldn't. Where do I meet radical feminists??? Hey, aren't they the handful that also think men should be illegal or something? But wait, if that's true, why would they be wanting attention from men?! I AM CONFUSE. HEY I was also at Pride last year, and everyone there also seemed clean! I think I might have seen some armpit hair on some women (GASP), but I don't see why that's a bad thing or it means they're unhygienic? Who decided women should be mostly hairless?
Anyway. This video seems really shallow. I mean, you can 'nurture' your beauty all you want, but no matter how Caitlin tries to spin it, it really only benefits you... and of course, beauty fades. I would think all that time would be better spent cultivating ones mind or learning new skills, but I'm not the one with a YT channel, so.
The commentor seems to be confusing hygiene with beauty. Really, so long as someone doesn't smell, I don't care what they do. I imagine that goes for most people. You should take care of yourself, but that has little to do with beauty in my opinion.

In conclusion: It matters because we'll gain confidence by doing it, and we gain... um, confidence? from it? I thought that would be two separate conclusions, but okay. Oh, and apparently our beauty will bless other people.

Edited May 14, 2020 by AmericanRose

[Mushroom]

I didn't see this posted here before (so sorry if I missed it) but she now has an FAQ on her website. Under spoiler cut because it's super long. Edit: You'll have to click on the image to read closer, sorry about that!

Spoiler

 

Edited May 14, 2020 by Mushroom
Image

[kaluce]

5 minutes ago, Mushroom said:

I didn't see this posted here before (so sorry if I missed it) but she now has an FAQ on her website. Under spoiler cut because it's super long. Edit: You'll have to click on the image to read closer, sorry about that!

  Hide contents

 

A few things that caught my eye:

-She had at least 4 jobs during college and the 6 months afterwards. That feels like a LOT of moving around for 4.5 years. Perhaps stability is not one of her strong suits. 

-She states that they chose to have her stay at home because she was in a toxic work environment... but hasn't she previously stated that she wanted to freelance and couldn't cut it? Where's the toxic environment in freelancing?

-She doesn't do collabs because they're stressful, and she doesn't want to debate views? There's TONS of femininity youtubers, what's stressful about doing a collab with someone who shares your viewpoints? That's... that seems sketch as fuck to me. 

-She doesn't spellcheck because her blog is like "her diary"... but it's super unprofessional, and you have a COMMUNICATIONS DEGREE.