Mrs. Midwest 3: Feminine Racism

[kaluce]

43 minutes ago, AmericanRose said:

Caitlin has a new video up - "Finding Fulfillment as 'Just' a Housewife".

I stopped watching when she mocked 'haters' - I don't think questioning what she does behind the scenes constitutes hating home-makers. She also mocked people who 'worry' about women being forced into that role. Because you know, we're in a Western country in 2020.

We are indeed in a Western country in 2020... but that hasn't stopped her from engaging in some gross, racist shit.

I'm listening to it now because I'm boredddd

She states this is an audience sourced question- doubt that. 

She states that women judge and worry about housewives wasting their potential. She doesn't show any sources on this.

The "worriers" assume that women can't be happy or fulfilled without:

1- Having a career

2- Achieving public recognition

3- making large amounts of money

Isn't Cait attempting all three? She's got a youtube channel she works on all week, she's got a large following on social media, and she's got sponsorships. 

Per Caitlin, being a homemaker is set up like a normal job- working for a "boss", serving others, etc and is also a thankless exchange. She compares it to women working at a daycare or being part of a cleaning crew. 

OK so I have some obvious issues with that statement. First, she glosses over WORKING FOR A BOSS. I want to be a stay at home mom, it's true. However, I am not "working for my husband" like he's my boss. We will be a team. He is not superior to me in any regard.  Second- you really couldn't think of any other jobs a woman could have? Really- daycare or cleaning? That's it? A women couldn't be a cop, or gasp- SOMEONE'S BOSS??

She then states it's rare a women will be remembered for her career, giving the example of Karen in Accounting or a writer from Buzzfeed being remembered for her articles on Friends, or Michelle in Marketing about her vegan supplement campaign. Um... yes. Women can be remembered/known for their careers. Lets see:

Marie Curie,

Gloria Steinem,

The Notorious RBG,

The Bronte Sisters,

Fuck- Mother Teresa even

These are all women who are known for their work. There are many more but I'm very angry and don't have time to list everyone I can think of.

Way to fucking BEAT DOWN GIRLS WITH GOALS. What if a young woman wants to become the next nobel prize winner- should they not try just because they might not reach that goal? Because that goal might change in the future or because it's "far fetched", they shouldn't go for it?

Fuck, Caitlin. Yes people can be fulfilled without having goals such as these but the way she states it makes her sound like she thinks any woman having career goals is silly and dumb. She then starts a weird strawman argument about disabled people and children should be able to find fulfillment without having a career. 

"Success is deeply personal"- if that's the case, stop shitting on Karen in Accounting, who maybe just really wants to help others and serve them in her role at work. Maybe that's where she finds fulfillment, Cait, you box of idiot rocks. 

Oh boy. I got too mad at this I had to stop watching. 

This video was obviously just another thinly veiled rant by Caitlin. It's almost like she's becoming highly insecure in her life choices and is starting to kick and scream before she accepts she's not happy. 

 

She seems like the most naive and judgmental person on the planet. Maybe don't question why Michelle works in marketing- don't assume her life isn't fulfilled because she's not married to a racist human worm. Michelle is doing fine, Cait.

 

Edited April 24, 2020 by kaluce

[Gretchen-weiners]

7 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s obvious she doesn’t have any real friends. Which makes me wonder if husbland has started isolating her. Does he get jealous of friends? Does he not like her to have friends because they might challenge her red pill ideas? I think most women would challenge her red pill beliefs at some point if they had a close relationship. 

With how annoyed/disinterested he seems with her, he would probably prefer it  if she got out of the house once in a while. (It would also give him more tome to watch porn because let’s face it, he doesn’t seem like the kind of man to want to overcome a porn addiction).I think she’s too insufferable to make or keep close female friends. Imagine meeting her in real life: the holier than thou attitude, the fake sweet persona, that nails on chalkboard DiSnEy PrInCeSs voice, the smugness, the not-like-other-girls attitude that’s cringey even on a teenage girl on a grown ass 25 year old woman, the fact that any time a man makes eye contact she would considers it flirting 

[Hane]

No, Cait, my careers in public utilities and adult education weren’t Every Young Girl’s Dream (or even *my* dream), but do you know what they were? They were my keys to security and self respect. They were what sustained me after the end of two bad marriages. They built my house and educated my child and bought my car and paid for my child’s wedding and funded my travels and provided for my retirement. My jobs were honest work, and I could go home at the end of the day knowing I’d done something helpful and ethical for my employers, colleagues, and students. 

And I’m sure Karen in accounting and Michelle in marketing would say the same.
 

 

Edited April 24, 2020 by Hane

[Marmion]

Also , throughout history , numerous women have not even had the privilege of being able to choose to forgo manual labour outside the home . Such women have been immortalized in such songs as this .  

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bella_ciao#Lyrics   

Spoiler

 

The notion that women were only expected to work outside the home in the aftermath of feminism is an ignorant bourgeois prejudice , which is in contradiction to historical reality .  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/apr/13/working-women-stay-at-home-wives-myths   Feminism properly understood , I believe , gives dignity to both the role of women in the workplace , and of men in the home , plus vice versa .  

[mymelody]

this reasoning about karen in accounting not being remembered for her work it is a right wing talking point. I remember falling down the 'trad wife' rabbit hole on twitter and there was a pic of a grave which said that women won't be remembered for the career by their children and husband so you shouldn't have one. I don't remember it exactly and if i find the picture I will post here

side not but more people are asking in the comments about lori alexander and why cait likes her. Someone even wanted to subscribe but they asked for her thoughts on lori before?

[JermajestyDuggar]

My mom worked a lot when I was growing up. She was a social worker and was paid very low. So she usually worked a second job. She helped a lot of people through her work. Not only will she be remembered by her family but also by people she is not related to. 

[kaluce]

Also who says a woman can’t work AND find her life’s fulfillment in being a mother at the same time? Her children will still remember her. Women can do more than one thing at a time. 
 

the whole argument is trash, Cait. Try again. 

[Petronella]

8 hours ago, Marmion said:

Feminism properly understood , I believe , gives dignity to both the role of women in the workplace , and of men in the home , plus vice versa .  

Elegantly put.

 

7 hours ago, mymelody said:

this reasoning about karen in accounting not being remembered for her work it is a right wing talking point. I remember falling down the 'trad wife' rabbit hole on twitter and there was a pic of a grave which said that women won't be remembered for the career by their children and husband so you shouldn't have one. I don't remember it exactly and if i find the picture I will post here

Yikes. So...if she's remembered by people she's not married to or didn't give birth to, it doesn't count??

[JermajestyDuggar]

Why are men allowed to be remembered as both a father and a career person? 

Oh that’s right. The magical penis.

[kaluce]

Oh look- she’s writing even MORE about her boobs. 
 

tell me again how she isn’t just trying to be a male fantasy. What’s modest about describing your heavy D cups???

[JermajestyDuggar]

I wonder if her husbland gets off on all the guys who want to fuck his wife. My guess is probably.

[kaluce]

Pretty sure Cynthia L threw some subtle shade on MrsM during her latest video. She mentioned Fake Femininity and says “if you’re not working on your humility and connecting with others, but rather just focusing on your appearance- that’s what I mean by fake femininity”. 
 

i have a feeling she reached out for a collab (She used to follow her and doesn’t now I don’t think) and got rejected. Now that the other blogger posted about thumbsbands racism, Cynthia L might be more comfortable speaking out. 
 

i just LOVE you tuber drama and probably looking too much into it. 

[AmericanRose]

I need a break from thinking about cleaning the kitchen, so:

Instagram: So I'm pretty sure Caitlin has been reading here, because we've been talking about how she seems to have no RL friends and it's weird she doesn't do collabs... and her most recent pic tags a female Instagrammer about teaching her how to grow real flowers.  Of couse, the woman tagged does Young Living, but hey... they know each other!
I do not understand these women who thank Caitlin for inspiring them to "show [their] femininity". What does that even mean? I just do what I want and don't worry if it's feminine or not. Am I broken?!
I see in her story she listed things she's accomplished today... I wonder if, as a SAHW, she feels the need to accomplish something everyday?

YT: Nothing new there, though I'm struck all over again over the absurdity of her claiming she receives criticism for being a SAHW.

Blog: 

Elements of a Full-On Wardrobe || Part 1 - Undergarments
If this was pretty much anyone else, I would have no problem with this blog post, but... this is the same woman who spoke about oversharing online and leaving some 'feminine mystery' (and then proceeded to post an example pic of her bras). She also says she's basing this off her own wardrobe, which means people can fantasize about her wearing the items mentioned. Fun fact: without feminists, you definitely would not be posting this!

Spoiler

"I think fun lingerie can really help you feel sexy in the marital bed."
Mm. What about the pre-marital bed??? Or the never-marital bed??

"I am a pretty curvy woman, with large breasts"
Did she read my theory about the blog being for Christian women and decide to try and change that...?
"but I like to even wear them with my D cups!"
I see you.

"I wear these over my t-shirt bras and lace bras to smooth down the top of the cups, the straps, and any fat that spills over my bras."
Isn't the point of t-shirt bras that they can't be detected under t-shirts?

"I wear a 100% cotton bra at night and in the early mornings. It's simply not comfortable to me to have my breasts hanging without support, as they are quite heavy. I don't think I'll ever understand the memes about preferring to go braless LOL."
I'm glad I have more modest C cups, in that case. #sexyandiknowit I don't think I could fully sleep in a bra.

Can someone tell me the difference between a robe and a kimono?

I don't think headbands really qualify as 'undergarments'.

Next up! 10 Small Ways I'm Branching Out of My Comfort Zone
"So during this quarantine, I've decided to shake things up a bit and work on building character by stepping out of my comfort zone in the following 10 areas."
You've decided to unfollow those white nationalist accounts??

Spoiler

1. Makeup Styles
2. Video Pilates
"I've been doing a walking routine for over two years now, but I thought I would increase my difficulty level by doing some ballerina-style pilates workouts after my walks. I found a couple on YouTube that are SO effective, and I'm sticking to them every day! YAY!"
I remember my mom doing Pilates... what is 'ballerina style'? There was nothing ballet about it from what I remember, but there was a machine!
3. Trying to Improve My Craft
She's talking about YT, buuuut I thought that was a hobby...?
4. Socialization
"So this might surprise you, but I am a person who can thrive with very minimal social contact with others. As long as I have my husband around, I can go WEEKS. I've always been this way: living mostly in my head, but I think it is also partly due to the fact that my husband is very dynamic company."
... no comment.
5. To be less selfish
"I've noticed that I'm beginning to instinctively put others first, and it's a HUGE move for me, all built upon small actions like pouring his coffee first, sharing other creator's content, and giving of more of my time. I decided to really work on this area of sin/my personality because if you want to be a good mother, you can't really be a selfish person!"
Perhaps that's why she didn't want to collaborate with other YT'ers? I don't know though... I think it can be good for a kid to see their mother being a bit selfish.
6. Cleaning standards
7. New Recipes
8. Consuming Different Content
"So, in an effort to discover new things, I've been pushing myself to try out new content, follow new creators, and shake things up a bit. It has been hit or miss, but when I've found a hit, it has been absolutely INVIGORATING!"
I wonder what she means by 'new content'.
9. More faithful Scripture reading
"I'm currently trying to increase the amount I read, as well as WHEN I read it. I've been turning to it more frequently when I'm feeling low, and this has honestly helped me so much! (surprise surprise lol)"
And the next point dashed my hopes! Ah well.
10. More color

 

[Hane]

Tell me again why her blog is supposed to be for women?

[Marmion]

22 hours ago, mymelody said:

this reasoning about karen in accounting not being remembered for her work it is a right wing talking point. I remember falling down the 'trad wife' rabbit hole on twitter and there was a pic of a grave which said that women won't be remembered for the career by their children and husband so you shouldn't have one. I don't remember it exactly and if i find the picture I will post here

side not but more people are asking in the comments about lori alexander and why cait likes her. Someone even wanted to subscribe but they asked for her thoughts on lori before?

 

The thing is though , this should apply equally to men as well .  Men should have a quality balance between career and family .   And this quote about the grave , and what we'll be remembered for in the end , reminds me of this song  .  

Spoiler

 

 

[Giraffe]

17 minutes ago, Hane said:

Tell me again why her blog is supposed to be for women?

Seriously! It’s like she’s trying to emulate a terrible romance novelist! Modesty & “for women” my ass. 

Edited April 26, 2020 by Giraffe
Adding words

[Timetraveler]

Because it is so very traditional, modest and humble to describe your cupsize and the underwear you wear in detail.

Mrs Midwest; it is a shame to be remembered for the job you had, yet to be remembered for you cupsize is completely normal.

[snarky_snark]

I don't get the point of the underwear article? She's literally just listing the kinds of bras and underwear (and...socks?) you can find. What the fuck is the point of that? I'm pretty sure every woman already knows about the different kinds of underwear you can find at Victoria's Secret. And the "commentary" she lists afterward....? It's either complete TMI to cater to male readers (mmMmmM my dDoUblEE DDDDDs), or completely banal - ie, "browns, argyles, polka dots, and stripes are all fun and cozy." Uh...okay? I can't imagine any woman gaining any sort of value from this "content."

This dimwitted woman has absolutely nothing of value to say. Nothing original, nothing thoughtful. She's just...empty. Your entire damn gimmick is femininity and all you have for advice is "wool socks are great in the winter!" and "use a lint roller!" and "wear a little makeup every day!" 

Come the fuck on. I'm actually starting to like Cynthia L. She seems genuine and sweet, and some of her advice is actually kind of neat. 

[kaluce]

1 hour ago, snarky_snark said:

I don't get the point of the underwear article? She's literally just listing the kinds of bras and underwear (and...socks?) you can find. What the fuck is the point of that? I'm pretty sure every woman already knows about the different kinds of underwear you can find at Victoria's Secret. And the "commentary" she lists afterward....? It's either complete TMI to cater to male readers (mmMmmM my dDoUblEE DDDDDs), or completely banal - ie, "browns, argyles, polka dots, and stripes are all fun and cozy." Uh...okay? I can't imagine any woman gaining any sort of value from this "content."

This dimwitted woman has absolutely nothing of value to say. Nothing original, nothing thoughtful. She's just...empty. Your entire damn gimmick is femininity and all you have for advice is "wool socks are great in the winter!" and "use a lint roller!" and "wear a little makeup every day!" 

Come the fuck on. I'm actually starting to like Cynthia L. She seems genuine and sweet, and some of her advice is actually kind of neat. 

I don’t agree with some of Cynthia Ls politics, but I definitely find myself slightly enjoying her content because she does seem sweet. She also has a background in pageants so she at least knows what she’s actually talking about. 
 

for some reason I can separate her from her politics but I can’t separate cait from hers. It’s probably the white supremacy 

[Gretchen-weiners]

 

The thing  that pisses me off the most: she had a whole video on lies society tells young women, YET HER ENTIRE CHANNEL IS JUST HER LYING TO YOUNG WOMEN!!! “Oh just change everything about yourself to fit the red pill male fantasy that’s based completely on hate and misogyny.  Your life will be quaint, worry free and peaceful just like mine. You too will be giggling into a loaf of bread because you’re so deleriously happy. All you have to do is never disagree with a man, change any aspect of your personality that might make it difficult for a man to walk all over you, don’t persue an education, don’t have any dreams or aspirations besides landing a man (ANY man, don’t you DARE have standards) and popping out all his babies. If you’re already in this position and you find yourself unhappy, it’s your fault for not practicing gratitude! Look at your marriage where your husband sees you as a maid/cook/real life sex doll through a lens of gratitude, anything else would be just selfish!  

[mhainlen]

I find it interesting that she talks so endlessly about how big her boobs are (and the need to always wear a bra and her inability to run due to their size, etc). My bra size is significantly larger than hers and while I do sometimes think it would be easier to have smaller boobs, I don’t discuss this with people and I certainly don’t post about it on social media. I’ve also found a sports bra that allows me to run half marathons. I think Caitlin wants people to notice and comment on her boobs and when she hasn’t gotten enough attention recently she brings them up again and again. Obviously an important facet of serving Jesus. 

[cartouche]

I don't think she can resist obvious attention grabs like talking about how big her boobs are, how traditional she is compared to other women, etc. This really is the 2020 version of "I'm not like the other girls!" now that most women in mainstream culture aren't considered trad. I think that's pretty funny considering how 15 years ago the stereotypical mainstream girl was girly-girly, wearing pink and cheerleading, while the "not like the other girls" girl was alternative, emo, wore Converse, etc. Just goes to show that no matter the times you live in, being a young woman with internalized misogyny and low self esteem can make you create a completely reactionary identity rather than form a real one of your own. (I know because I've been there. ?)

From what I can tell she was a bit geeky (considering all the LOTR stuff) and pretty average-looking when she was younger before the "glow up", so she might feel like she can now finally enjoy all the attention she missed out on before. Except now she's married, so she has to be careful about how she does it so people don't see through the facade of her being the perfect wife who only has eyes for her husband. I think that's why she reinforces the guise that her social media presence is all for the purpose of helping young women even though the majority of her viewers are lurking male followers. "Hey, I'm not coping with my loneliness and lack of purpose outside my husband by vying for male attention online, it's just us gals here talking about our big heavy boobs!"

[Perrierwithlemon]

1 hour ago, cartouche said:

This really is the 2020 version of "I'm not like the other girls!" now that most women in mainstream culture aren't considered trad.

I think that's why she reinforces the guise that her social media presence is all for the purpose of helping young women even though the majority of her viewers are lurking male followers. "Hey, I'm not coping with my loneliness and lack of purpose outside my husband by vying for male attention online, it's just us gals here talking about our big heavy boobs!"

Yes and yes. 

And, to add to the "I'm not like other [modern] girls" thing, if you read the quote below with Caitlin in mind, you can see how she is actually is indirectly saying "I'm just like other girls!!!" 

Quote

I used to cringe so hard at my "I'm not like other girls" phase until I realized that most girls have this phase and what we actually mean is, "I'm not a thoughtless one-dimensional caricature of makeup and boobs, which is all I've been taught to believe girls are." How can women be viewed so poorly that little girls everywhere all think that they're unique just for having independent thoughts and interests?

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/301741243781693915/

 

Edited April 27, 2020 by Perrierwithlemon
formatting issue

[kaluce]

1 hour ago, Perrierwithlemon said:

"I'm not a thoughtless one-dimensional caricature of makeup and boobs, which is all I've been taught to believe girls are."

Wait wait... isn't she trying to teach girls that this is all they are, though? This is her ENTIRE CHANNEL, and all her social media. 

 

 

[Perrierwithlemon]

1 minute ago, kaluce said:

Wait wait... isn't she trying to teach girls that this is all they are, though? This is her ENTIRE CHANNEL, and all her social media. 

 

 

No, she's teaching them how to live cOuNtErCuLtUrAlLy... But in all seriousness, this is exactly why I dislike Mrs. Midwest.

I think my stages were: annoyed with Caitlin, feel sorta sorry for Caitlin being wrapped up in such a redpill beliefs and wish she escapes redpillism, then angry at her because she shows no remorse for smugly endorsing and spreading her toxic message that she disguises with flowers and sparkles.