Mrs. Midwest 3: Feminine Racism

[dairyfreelife]

9 hours ago, FiveAcres said:

Actually, the boss babe meme, as far as I can tell, came from the multilevel marketing culture, so it can go die in a fire according to me. (I have considered myself a feminist since reading Against Our Will in the seventies, along with everything else shelved next to it in our public library.)

This is how I've understood "boss babe". It's what those in MLMs will claim to be because "they are their own boss!" Which, they are not. They can all go die on the horse they rode in on. So sick of seeing random person who I went to high school with on FB sending me notifications to join their MLM. Stop asking and stop sending me messages with your new pyramid scheme of the month Jessica. 

[Timetraveler]

I cannot stand it when she gives dating advice. Girl, u got married at what, age 22? to a guy I would never want to be married to.

 

 

[MrsSparta]

Talking about vibrancy and how DNA matters... Did DNA matter when you married a thumb?

And telling women to adhere to the basic tenets of hygiene is laughable when usually MEN are the ones who cannot stick to basic cleanliness rules. 

What is the point of putting so much effort into being the perfect woman if you are going to end up marrying a blue collar average joe? If my life revolved around being the pinnacle of 'femininity' you bet your ass I would find someone with enough money to take REAL good care of me. I keep watching her because I am simply baffled at who this lifestyle is meant to benefit. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

19 minutes ago, MrsSparta said:

Talking about vibrancy and how DNA matters... Did DNA matter when you married a thumb?

And telling women to adhere to the basic tenets of hygiene is laughable when usually MEN are the ones who cannot stick to basic cleanliness rules. 

What is the point of putting so much effort into being the perfect woman if you are going to end up marrying a blue collar average joe? If my life revolved around being the pinnacle of 'femininity' you bet your ass I would find someone with enough money to take REAL good care of me. I keep watching her because I am simply baffled at who this lifestyle is meant to benefit. 

I totally agree. She married down. Waaayyyy down. 

[Hane]

@MrsSparta, in so many advice columns, women write complaining about men who refuse to brush their teeth and shower regularly. One columnist shook her head in frustration: many of these men seem not to have any mental illnesses or emotional problems, but are just as stubborn as rocks about maintaining reasonable hygiene. Nothing seems to get through to them.

[ignorantobserver]

24 minutes ago, MrsSparta said:

I keep watching her because I am simply baffled at who this lifestyle is meant to benefit. 

Those blue collar average joes obviously, but only the firmly women-hating, anti-feminist, proto-abusive subset ! They get a nice, blonde, submissive doll and live-in servant to mistreat. I think the most convincing explanation is the hypothesis already formulated in this thread : Mrs Midwest is an influencer who aspires to make a career out of her videos. She identified "traditional men" (read : misogynic losers who live in their mother's basement) as her desired target group and thus panders to their immature fantasies about what their ideal girlfriend should be like. She sells the fantasy that anyone can get his very own brainless trophy wife in order to allow her followers to forget that trophy wives are out of their reach ! Nothing we see actually depicts the reality of her life or her marriage, nor does it offer any kind of useful or realistic advice. It's just clickbait for frustrated men who are too poor to buy a woman and too stupid, immature or misogynic to seduce one.

Edited May 21, 2020 by ignorantobserver

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, Hane said:

@MrsSparta, in so many advice columns, women write complaining about men who refuse to brush their teeth and shower regularly. One columnist shook her head in frustration: many of these men seem not to have any mental illnesses or emotional problems, but are just as stubborn as rocks about maintaining reasonable hygiene. Nothing seems to get through to them.

From my own personal experiences, I agree with this. I can’t tell you how many males were absolutely disgusting in the college dorms and frat houses on campus. It was revolting. And it goes past the college years. I dated some guys that I thought were dirty and got rid of them when I realized they weren’t going to clean up their act. They were ok with living in filth and I was not. So it just wasn’t going to work out. 

Edited May 21, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[AmericanRose]

2 hours ago, MrsSparta said:

Talking about vibrancy and how DNA matters... Did DNA matter when you married a thumb?

And telling women to adhere to the basic tenets of hygiene is laughable when usually MEN are the ones who cannot stick to basic cleanliness rules.

DNA matters? WTF? Does that mean if you have any hereditary conditions lurking you shouldn't get married?

Judging from the accounts she follows, which act as though "feminists" have been destroying "western civilisation" for centuries, MM likely thinks that women (except those enlightened like herself) have been raised by, or surrounded by, "feminists". Which means they don't bother bathing, shaving, or taking care of the most basic hygiene because of course, they were taught women only do so to please men, and that's bad.

I haven't even seen the video, and I bet it's a bunch of nonsense about your looks, your nest, and then maybe a mention of hobbies.

Edited May 22, 2020 by AmericanRose

[cartouche]

3 hours ago, MrsSparta said:

Talking about vibrancy and how DNA matters... Did DNA matter when you married a thumb?

And telling women to adhere to the basic tenets of hygiene is laughable when usually MEN are the ones who cannot stick to basic cleanliness rules. 

What is the point of putting so much effort into being the perfect woman if you are going to end up marrying a blue collar average joe? If my life revolved around being the pinnacle of 'femininity' you bet your ass I would find someone with enough money to take REAL good care of me. I keep watching her because I am simply baffled at who this lifestyle is meant to benefit. 

Agreed. If, as a woman, your focus is on extremely superficial things like how to look and sound feminine and basically spend all your energy performing femininity for men, you might as well be like Anna Bey (another YouTuber who tells women to "level up" but focuses on attracting wealthy men) instead of Mrs. Midwest and actually focus on finding a wealthy man who can provide for you and your offspring. Mrs. Midwest just... performs femininity for incels on the internet and her thumblike husband who, lets be real, will probably be making less money than her very soon if her channel keeps growing. What does husblob offer her other than a virtue signal to show her red pill followers what a "good woman" she is for dating down?

1 hour ago, AmericanRose said:

DNA matters? WTF? Does that mean if you have any hereditary conditions lurking you shouldn't get married?

I think the "DNA matters" thing is a dog whistle for the right-wing crowd that follows people like Steven Moleyneux (sp?) who say that people are inherently inequal due to their DNA. He argues that white people have superior IQ due to DNA and other such arguments that are basically just used to justify his racism.

Edited May 22, 2020 by cartouche

[EmmaWoodhouse]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

From my own personal experiences, I agree with this. I can’t tell you how many males were absolutely disgusting in the college dorms and frat houses on campus. It was revolting. And it goes past the college years. I dated some guys that I thought were dirty and got rid of them when I realized they weren’t going to clean up their act. They were ok with living in filth and I was not. So it just wasn’t going to work out. 

I cleaned college dorms last summer to make some extra $$$ (for an air-conditioned, manual labor job, the pay was pretty good). Mind you, the students are supposed to clean before they leave for the summer; our job was just a deep clean before the summer camps started. The guys’ dorms were disgusting. Piles of trash, showers that hadn’t been cleaned since they moved in, and hair everywhere. One guy even left 48 packs of shrimp-flavored ramen noodles that we sent to a food bank.

Thankfully, we got paid extra for the really bad rooms, but I left with very little respect for the average college guy.

[AmericanRose]

I've lived with 2 men (the 2nd didn't even have trash service). It didn't last long, but it has scared me off ever attempting to do so again. I'm not Cinderella.

Anyway! I bit the bullet and watched the video. I think I injured my eyeballs from rolling them too hard at #7.

7 Ways to Become More Alluring to Men || Successful Dating and Attraction

MM doesn't think it's wrong to discuss this. You can't be a home-maker without a man, after all. She says this goes against the 'modern narrative' that all women are goddesses.
It's been awhile, but I'm pretty sure mainstream magazines still has articles about how to "please your man".

Spoiler

1. Maximixe your looks, because when you get with someone, you're saying you want to reproduce with them. Subtly enhance your beauty and dress feminine - you don't need Botox or fillers.
+ We'll see how she feels about aging out of her youthful looks in a few years. She also says she doesn't dye her hair anymore, but I could have sworn she had some dark roots a month ago. 

2. Develop humility, it will help you deal with rejection. Be soft and graceful when letting someone down, but also direct. You don't want to burn bridges - you never know who has a cute cousin!
+ Never do anything just because it's the right thing to do; have a motive!

3. Make space. A man can sense when you don't have time in your life for him, like when you're over-worked. Romantic relationships take a great deal of time, effort and energy.

4. Be warm and friendly. MM advises smiling and eye contact, this shows interest. Approaching women is very difficult and we need to have grace when dealing with men. And if you really want to stand out against the competition, dress really feminine - his masculinity will be drawn to it.
+ Wonderful, now more men will think that yes, that friendly barista wants to date him! And will then be angry that it turns out she was just doing her job.

5. Deal with your baggage. Make sure your mental and emotional health is stable, get into counseling if you need to.

6. Gain confidence in who you are. Gain hobbies, establish your world view, know who you are.
+ This is what makes me think she's angling to drag young, impressionable women into RedPilldom with her. As a teenager I was pretty much unformed dough, but by 26 I had a good idea of what I wanted in life and for myself.

7. Let Him Chase. Don't be clingy, overly available, at his side all the time. Set yourself in a different category, you're not easy, you're not just going to be there without commitment from him. If you want to bring out that masculinity, you have to let him chase you. Feminine women have standards. If you're confused about how he feels about you, walk away. It's a natural instinct for a man to pursue. Traditional women want traditional men, and those men want to hunt you down and feel like they've accomplished something. It's important for him to feel like you're a prize.
+ I think this solves the mystery of how MM ended up with Husband! But I hate this "let him chase" crap - dating shouldn't be a GAME. Do have a life outside of whoever you're dating, but don't play this game - this is what leads men to talking about how women 'play games'.

Would it be wrong to post on her videos, "Why do you follow white nationalists on Instagram? Are you okay with them using pictures of you and of you and your husband on their accounts?" Asking for a friend. ?

Edited May 22, 2020 by AmericanRose

[Petronella]

9 hours ago, AmericanRose said:

Judging from the accounts she follows, which act as though "feminists" have been destroying "western civilisation" for centuries, MM likely thinks that women (except those enlightened like herself) have been raised by, or surrounded by, "feminists". Which means they don't bother bathing, shaving, or taking care of the most basic hygiene because of course, they were taught women only do so to please men, and that's bad.

This reminds me of a family member who gets all of his information about "liberals" from right-wing conspiracy theorists. He posts AWFUL and untrue things about liberals on his Facebook page, and when I ask why he thinks I think/do whatever ridiculous things the meme is accusing, he just says, well I didn't mean you. Or, apparently, any of the other liberal voters he actually knows. So instead of defining a liberal by actual liberals, he gets his definition of liberals from anti-liberal extremists. I have tried and tried to get him to look with his own eyes, but he just won't. The Trump agenda comforts him and that's more important to him than anything.

Mrs Midwest is like that with "feminists". Even if she actually knows feminists, she looks to the red pill to define them for her, instead of what she actually sees (which is that most healthy people, feminist or not, have perfectly fine basic hygiene).

[Petronella]

8 hours ago, cartouche said:

If, as a woman, your focus is on extremely superficial things like how to look and sound feminine and basically spend all your energy performing femininity for men, you might as well be like Anna Bey (another YouTuber who tells women to "level up" but focuses on attracting wealthy men) instead of Mrs. Midwest and actually focus on finding a wealthy man who can provide for you and your offspring. Mrs. Midwest just... performs femininity for incels on the internet and her thumblike husband who, lets be real, will probably be making less money than her very soon if her channel keeps growing. What does husblob offer her other than a virtue signal to show her red pill followers what a "good woman" she is for dating down?

The three bits I bolded are a revelatory equation for me. Yes, I think you've explained her to me. Now I get it.

4 hours ago, AmericanRose said:

7. Let Him Chase. Don't be clingy, overly available, at his side all the time. Set yourself in a different category, you're not easy, you're not just going to be there without commitment from him. If you want to bring out that masculinity, you have to let him chase you. Feminine women have standards. If you're confused about how he feels about you, walk away. It's a natural instinct for a man to pursue. Traditional women want traditional men, and those men want to hunt you down and feel like they've accomplished something. It's important for him to feel like you're a prize.
+ I think this solves the mystery of how MM ended up with Husband! But I hate this "let him chase" crap - dating shouldn't be a GAME. Do have a life outside of whoever you're dating, but don't play this game - this is what leads men to talking about how women 'play games'.

The time I wasn't "playing" hard to get but actually was hard to get, or really just asked a teensy bit of patience:

One time my brother wanted to set me up with a colleague of his and I was like "fine, sure". So the guy called me and suggested we get together that weekend. I had a big freelance deadline on Monday, and said that I wouldn't be able to get away then, but how about the next weekend? Which I think was a perfectly polite and *interested* answer. He, apparently, took this as a bitchy utter rejection. I never heard from him again and my brother told me off for not "appreciating" the opportunity to go out with him. Jerks!

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Petronella said:

The three bits I bolded are a revelatory equation for me. Yes, I think you've explained her to me. Now I get it.

The time I wasn't "playing" hard to get but actually was hard to get, or really just asked a teensy bit of patience:

One time my brother wanted to set me up with a colleague of his and I was like "fine, sure". So the guy called me and suggested we get together that weekend. I had a big freelance deadline on Monday, and said that I wouldn't be able to get away then, but how about the next weekend? Which I think was a perfectly polite and *interested* answer. He, apparently, took this as a bitchy utter rejection. I never heard from him again and my brother told me off for not "appreciating" the opportunity to go out with him. Jerks!

It sounds like you dodged a bullet! 

My husband said he liked that I was not a person to play games in relationships. He was in his 30s when we started dating and he was over any games to be played. I’m a pretty blunt and straight forward person so playing games is last on my list of things to do when dating. 

[PrettyRobin]

Why does she hate women so much? Okay, that's a little too harsh. But seriouslly, what does she have against women feeling like "goddesses"??!!! I DON'T GET IT!

Women are judged everyday in any position they're in, they are put down and told to reach a certain degree of perfection just to be judged even more, WHAT is so wrong with finally teaching women they are amazing and to love themselves?! 

[PrettyRobin]

These incels are finally realising women are visual creatures with sexual desires and preferences too. We want to date someone that's young and looks good and puts in effort too! That's why these red-pillers have terms like "Chad" to describe a hot guy that gets all the girls just because he looks good. Well guess what, WOMEN HAVE EYES TOO!

But that's how it was "back in the day", when women would have to marry "uglier" men for money. (I know that's not how it was for everyone or everywhere, I'm talking about an "ideal" world that MM and red-pillers talk about all the time, like the 1950s)

And now, women have their own money, rights and choices and OMG, we actually have standards too?! Who would have thought!

Why are people still acting as if women and girls don't get horny, turned on or aroused when looking at a person they find attractive? It's like they think that's only reserved for men, because men are the "visual" ones lmao

Edited May 22, 2020 by PrettyRobin

[JermajestyDuggar]

55 minutes ago, PrettyRobin said:

These incels are finally realising women are visual creatures with sexual desires and preferences too. We want to date someone that's young and looks good and puts in effort too! That's why these red-pillers have terms like "Chad" to describe a hot guy that gets all the girls just because he looks good. Well guess what, WOMEN HAVE EYES TOO!

But that's how it was "back in the day", when women would have to marry "uglier" men for money. (I know that's not how it was for everyone or everywhere, I'm talking about an "ideal" world that MM and red-pillers talk about all the time, like the 1950s)

And now, women have their own money, rights and choices and OMG, we actually have standards too?! Who would have thought!

Why are people still acting as if women and girls don't get horny, turned on or aroused when looking at a person they find attractive? It's like they think that's only reserved for men, because men are the "visual" ones lmao

I’ve dated a lot of guys who were not naturally great looking. However I usually went for guys who actually groomed themselves! A guy who is clean and takes care of himself will always be more attractive than a guy who hasn’t showered in a week no matter what they look like! Sorry but I’ll take a well groomed Steve Buscemi over a stank ass dirty Jason Momoa any day. And I love Jason Momoa, lol. 

[AmericanRose]

@Petronella, in one of her earlier videos she claimed to have some feminist friends. She seems to like the first and second waves just fine (but I mean, I appreciate the right to vote and live away from my parents, too) but apparently she thinks the 3rd/4th wave is just full of extremists advocating for abolishing men. It also sounds like you dodged a bullet with that guy! I hate the expectation that women should be ever so grateful for a drop of masculine attention.

@PrettyRobin From my understanding of her videos, she thinks "modern feminism" (because everything back in the day was so much better) skips over self-improvement and teaches women they deserve self-care because they're the bestest ever for being born with a uterus. I'm not really sure what she expects from magazines etc. though... I mean, nothing I read was going to convince me I needed to improve anything about myself. It was a conclusion I had to reach and then pursue on my own. And when I did, no "slay girl slay" mug or "boss babe" knickknack was going to convince me I was perfect as is. She doesn't seem to have a high opinion of women.

ETA: Of course, I suppose incels have a vested interest in making sure women know they're not perfect, so they can lower their standards and be humbled accordingly. Perhaps that's what that message is about.

Edited May 22, 2020 by AmericanRose

[PrettyRobin]

11 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ve dated a lot of guys who were not naturally great looking. However I usually went for guys who actually groomed themselves! A guy who is clean and takes care of himself will always be more attractive than a guy who hasn’t showered in a week no matter what they look like! Sorry but I’ll take a well groomed Steve Buscemi over a stank ass dirty Jason Momoa any day. And I love Jason Momoa, lol. 

I agree, grooming is essential. I've dated a guy who was not a "Chad" and he was very well groomed and I found that attractive. But that's not a guy I would initially want to have sex with, if I had to choose JUST by looks or by looking at a picture. MM and other red-pillers say women always have to look like a 10, when they, themselves are a 5 lol. But, of course, I would get more turned on looking at a certain type of a guy that's my type haha

I don't want to get in to her marriage too much, but it seems she always looks like a doll and he wears sweatpants in all her videos... It's the mentality of "men's looks don't matter" which is not true at all for most women, at least in my experience. 

Omg, I do not understand the obsession with Jason Momoa, he is so unattractive to me ??

Also, as I've been noticing all of my life, women are still taught to improve themselves in every way possible, now getting even more in to details. Beauty standards for women have gone up drastically, idk where she gets this idea that women aren't told to improve or better themselves lol. As far as I can remember, I've been told by magazines, tv shows, social media etc, I always need to change or improve something about myself. Idk what world she lives in tbh...

[cartouche]

51 minutes ago, PrettyRobin said:

These incels are finally realising women are visual creatures with sexual desires and preferences too. We want to date someone that's young and looks good and puts in effort too! That's why these red-pillers have terms like "Chad" to describe a hot guy that gets all the girls just because he looks good. Well guess what, WOMEN HAVE EYES TOO!

But that's how it was "back in the day", when women would have to marry "uglier" men for money. (I know that's not how it was for everyone or everywhere, I'm talking about an "ideal" world that MM and red-pillers talk about all the time, like the 1950s)

And now, women have their own money, rights and choices and OMG, we actually have standards too?! Who would have thought!

Why are people still acting as if women and girls don't get horny, turned on or aroused when looking at a person they find attractive? It's like they think that's only reserved for men, because men are the "visual" ones lmao

Spot on. A lot of the incels actually realize this too. They know they're not attractive or charistmatic enough to attract women these days so instead of working on themselves, they actively wish for a time when women had fewer options and would have to be with them out of financial insecurity.

I think some trad-idealizing women like MM long for that time for reasons that are sort of a mirror image of the incels' reasons. They didn't find success or satisfaction in their careers, so they dream of a time when women it wasn't expected for women to be successfull in the way they were unable to be. They want to feel less judged by others and, more importantly, by themselves. Although, tbh, MM became a homemaker at what, 22-23? Hardly old enough to have an established career in the first place. So she really shouldn't feel insecure about that.

Sometimes I really do think she made up this whole trad wife influencer image as a coping mechanism for falling into what otherwise seems like a very isolated, dependent, dull life. Instead of "I have a toxic relationship with my family and unresolved trauma with my mother, so I ran to this unattractive man to marry and take care of me," it's "I don't have any family problems. I married this thumb cop because he's my prince charming!" Instead of "I feel insecure that I wasn't able to find success or satisfaction in a traditional marketing career," it's "I'm better than all those #bossbabe women who are going to die single because I'm married and they're too busy focusing on their careers." It really does seem like a desperate attempt to slap floral packaging on what to the naked eye just seems like a sh*tty situation.

[Petronella]

11 minutes ago, AmericanRose said:

I'm not really sure what she expects from magazines etc. though... I mean, nothing I read was going to convince me I needed to improve anything about myself. It was a conclusion I had to reach and then pursue on my own.

Do you agree with Mrs Midwest that women’s magazines do nothing but tell women that they’re perfect? I admit it’s been a couple decades since I read them, but my experience was that they were constantly telling us we couldn’t possibly be good enough without all of the products their advertisers promote. Article after article about how to please a man, how to become good enough to be chosen by a man. It was exhausting.

[ignorantobserver]

12 minutes ago, cartouche said:

Sometimes I really do think she made up this whole trad wife influencer image as a coping mechanism for falling into what otherwise seems like a very isolated, dependent, dull life. Instead of "I have a toxic relationship with my family and unresolved trauma with my mother, so I ran to this unattractive man to marry and take care of me," it's "I don't have any family problems. I married this thumb cop because he's my prince charming!"

I agree with this. Earlier, someone speculated that her current relationship is actually the toxic one and that her husband is responsible for her "red-pill"-ideas, making him controlling and abusive. It's difficult to tell from a distance, she might be the one to call the shots, but either way, I don't get the impression that this marriage is happy or loving.

(On a different note : I don't think the husband is that bad looking at all. He is bald, yes, but he has somewhat attaching eyes and gives off a "soft" vibe. If he were a nice person, that could make him attractive. Of course, given what we know of him, I very much doubt that he is nice, or even decent. I also don't get why she would have "married down". She is neither educated nor successful, doesn't seem to come from a "good family", doesn't want to work... she has nothing but her looks ! Today, I would imagine most successful men look for a girl with a degree, a career, influential relatives...)

Edited May 22, 2020 by ignorantobserver

[cartouche]

Forgot to include this screencap that made me LOL. Her walking into the room with her hand outstretched ready to serve him as he lays there flopped on the lazyboy. I really can't say anything bad about his sitting position since apparently he had worked overtime and was  tired, but why would she include that in the video? It just seems embarassing (to him) IMO. It really just seems like yet another virtual signal to show how ready she is to serve her homely, hardworking man. I wonder if her constant camera presence annoys him?

[AmericanRose]

1 hour ago, Petronella said:

Do you agree with Mrs Midwest that women’s magazines do nothing but tell women that they’re perfect? I admit it’s been a couple decades since I read them, but my experience was that they were constantly telling us we couldn’t possibly be good enough without all of the products their advertisers promote. Article after article about how to please a man, how to become good enough to be chosen by a man. It was exhausting.

Haha, no. Granted it's been awhile since I read something like Cosmo, but the articles always seemed to be some new diet, ways to get your body 'summer ready', and of course, '70 ways to please your man!' I haven't read many woman-oriented magazines, but they also didn't seem to scream at me 'you're a goddess!!!' they mainly seemed to be about women-created companies, products, etc. And given how often women are still told they can't do x because they're a woman (I remember my mom telling my 15-year-old self that I would need a man to support me) I don't mind the reminders that yes, women are strong and capable.

Edited May 22, 2020 by AmericanRose

[JermajestyDuggar]

Instagram, Pinterest, and FB have taken the place of magazines.