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samurai_sarah

Dillards 84: Craving Attention

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Italiangirl

Yeah, I get that in theory, but the Dillard has been married for what 5 years? They are not strangers now. 

Anyway is all really sad to me. 

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seraaa
Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, Italiangirl said:

Screenshot_20200704-192552_Instagram.thumb.jpg.569765b9497ec77f9b7563b5e6c61a23.jpg

I'm confused by this new post on the Dillard's blog, "how to love your wives like you mean it" as opposed to how to love your wife like you love her? And this should be from a name perspective reading the first few lines... I don't get it I have reread it like 3 times in a row and still 🤷‍♀️

I scrolled to the end where he was giving tips and thought there were some pretty good practices for relationship building listed. I mean, I can personally leave the God stuff, but sentiments like 'communicate with your spouse' and 'get on the same page with them when deciding how to approach life tasks' and 'they are your partner, not your maid' and and 'you may approach others for advice if necessary' and 'don't take your spouse for granted'  are all good and fine imo

Edited by seraaa

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SassyPants
1 hour ago, seraaa said:

I scrolled to the end where he was giving tips and thought there were some pretty good practices for relationship building listed. I mean, I can personally leave the God stuff, but sentiments like 'communicate with your spouse' and 'get on the same page with them when deciding how to approach life tasks' and 'they are your partner, not your maid' and and 'you may approach others for advice if necessary' and 'don't take your spouse for granted'  are all good and fine imo

They are your partner and not your maid...he really is moving away from JB’s tenets. IMO, the use of the word partners recognizes and confers equal status. This must have blown Jill’s mind- Good for them. Neither your maid nor your personal incubator. This is a lesson All fundies should learn and incorporate.

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SamiKatz
4 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

They are your partner and not your maid...he really is moving away from JB’s tenets. IMO, the use of the word partners recognizes and confers equal status. This must have blown Jill’s mind- Good for them. Neither your maid nor your personal incubator. This is a lesson All fundies should learn and incorporate.

Honest question here - I wonder if saying (and hopefully believing) that your wife is your partner and not your maid would mean they are moving away from fundamentalism and moving more towards mainstream Christianity.  I'm not sure if that sentiment would work with any form of fundamentalism.

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SassyPants
6 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

Honest question here - I wonder if saying (and hopefully believing) that your wife is your partner and not your maid would mean they are moving away from fundamentalism and moving more towards mainstream Christianity.  I'm not sure if that sentiment would work with any form of fundamentalism.

To me saying partner negates the possibility of there being a headship. 

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SamiKatz
Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

To me saying partner negates the possibility of there being a headship. 

I agree.  This seems to be a pretty liberal statement (all things considered), even within the conservative Christian realm (I'm not saying in any way that they are or are becoming liberal, just that for them, this seems to be a fairly large step).  With this group though, you never know.

 

Edited by SamiKatz

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seraaa
Posted (edited)
15 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

To me saying partner negates the possibility of there being a headship. 

I paraphrased a lot of what he said here - he was talking about 'wife', specifically,  but this is the basic gist as I understood it with respect to the points mentioned.

 And there was a section about the husband having the role as the spiritual leader of the family, which is also not uncommon  in conservative Christianity, but he did repudiate legalism.

Edited by seraaa

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neuroticcat
59 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

To me saying partner negates the possibility of there being a headship. 

I think in regular context it would be a safe bet, but in conservative Christianity you still have complementarian circles talking about partners. Sounds a step away from fundie subservience though. Now if he had said “equal partner”...

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Bad Wolf

I don't think fundies would actually says the word "maid", but "helpmeet" covers a multitude of sins.

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just_ordinary

I wouldn’t draw the conclusion that they are stepping away from the Fundie concept of gender roles. Women do have important roles in their world apart from birthing children. They are responsible for the atmosphere of the home, everyone should feel comfortable and happy. They are responsible for the emotional well being of everyone. They are feeding the family, so they are responsible for their health, hospitality is a big topic- they are to help/invite other families and there are responsible in stabilising their social circles. They are teaching/educating the children. There is a lot of pressure.
Being partners, even being equally important partners does not mean they think men and women or their respected roles are equal. Derick seems to realise that both partners play a vital part and that those parts are equally important. But I doubt he would be fine with leaving the spiritual teaching to Jill for more than a few inputs. As long as he believes she has to agree with him/ he has to decide to let her do things there is no equality. That would include fighting out an argument and being ok with losing or having to swallow the most  compromises (never nice but part of being in a relationship of equal partners).

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DarkAnts

Jill went mini golf with James for his birthday.she has not mentioned her brothers in a while. I hope she had a great time. 

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AussieKrissy
18 minutes ago, DarkAnts said:

Jill went mini golf with James for his birthday.she has not mentioned her brothers in a while. I hope she had a great time. 

did he need a parent chaperone to go with him to see jill?

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marmalade

Jana was there as well as Jason and Jer.

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Kayleigh83

Amy’s most recent Instagram post was a little cryptic - it’s a selfie of her and Jill, and the caption reads “ You smile just a bit brighter these days! So proud of you hippie chick!”

Could just be Amy angling for attention at least to some degree, because of course there’s lots of speculation in the comments. But it does make you wonder what is making Jill smile and making Amy proud....

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Pecansforeveryone

@just_ordinary, yes there is still a lot of complementarianism and the man is the spiritual head of the family in mainstream conservative Christianity. I mean, even the Catholic churches doesn't yet ordain women. (I know there are plenty of Catholic feminists, I just mean the official church doctrine.) 

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Idlewild
Posted (edited)

In the instastory for Sam’s birthday Derick is wearing a very smart suit so it looks like he got a legal job/internship for the summer. 
There is also a posted picture of him squatting wearing shorts which is, erm, not attractive. 

Edited by Idlewild

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frugalitymom

Has anyone seen Derick’s twitter comments in regards to the season premiere. There were some interesting things said. I saved the screenshots Pickles posted but not sure if I can post them. It looks like he was responding to the tweet by TLC announcing the season premiere.  Get the popcorn ready Jim Bob might explode. 
 

:popcorn:

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marmalade

It was on IG, not Twitter. He called JB controlling and threatening and talked about how they were able to stop filming (more couples got married). 

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frugalitymom
7 minutes ago, marmalade said:

It was on IG, not Twitter. He called JB controlling and threatening and talked about how they were able to stop filming (more couples got married). 

Thank you I was thinking Twitter but realized my mistake after posting. 

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JanasTattooParlor
56 minutes ago, frugalitymom said:

Has anyone seen Derick’s twitter comments in regards to the season premiere. There were some interesting things said. I saved the screenshots Pickles posted but not sure if I can post them. It looks like he was responding to the tweet by TLC announcing the season premiere.  Get the popcorn ready Jim Bob might explode. 
 

:popcorn:

Holy cow, I just read through that thread of comments and it was really nice to see Derick stand up for his wife and to fans of the show. Someone asked him to spill more info and he responded “in due time” so he seems to have some plan of when he’ll be speaking out more specifically. He reiterated that him and Jill are in therapy and put “#nomoreabuse” after his comment. He also said he hopes some of the other siblings come to their senses and get out. 

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indianabones

Derick better watch out before he completely violates his NDA... You'd think for a future lawyer he'd know better.

Nothing will come of this, he just likes stirring up drama for attention (as Jill has acknowledged) in his social media comments. 

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Snarkasarus Rex
3 hours ago, indianabones said:

Derick better watch out before he completely violates his NDA... You'd think for a future lawyer he'd know better.

Nothing will come of this, he just likes stirring up drama for attention (as Jill has acknowledged) in his social media comments. 

The shit stirring campaign isn’t a good look for a law student seeking gainful employment.  He’s not charismatic or articulate enough to make a career out of being the provocateur.

He also comes across as extremely bitter...that’s why I think his motivation is revenge and not just setting the record straight. Jill might end up being collateral damage.

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mstee

Commenting on the Counting On Facebook page seems so childish. If he really feels the need to share what he feels, he should put out a statement on his blog or a platform that is more professional. These small comments by him always seem like teasers but then there is never a big reveal. 

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Snarkasarus Rex
19 minutes ago, mstee said:

Commenting on the Counting On Facebook page seems so childish. If he really feels the need to share what he feels, he should put out a statement on his blog or a platform that is more professional. These small comments by him always seem like teasers but then there is never a big reveal. 

His postings are obviously driven by emotion, are intentionally vague and full of doublespeak. His narrative is all over the map based on the tabloid interviews he's given.  He keeps teasing a tell-all yet in his Sun interview he characterized his book as something different.  This isn't how a law student going into his third year should act, and I'm sure this will affect his job prospects...or maybe that's intentional?  I'm beginning to think law school is another one of his vanity projects, like the pretend missionary trips and the missionary 'school' at Cross Church.

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frugalitymom

I get he might me pissed but I do agree with watching what he says because future jobs can easily find it and possibly use it against him. 
 

I also saw a picture Amy posted with Jill on Instagram and it refers to Jill being happier these days. 

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