Maxwell 35: Choosing The Right Vest For an Extended Family Member

[Ozlsn]

1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

think I've seen a reference to this that the old "Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme" thing came about because they were useful herbs to dry up milk when a woman lost a baby.  I know that sage tends to work.  We see that with moms who report a lowered milk supply just after the holidays.  

And I just ran through the lyrics in my head again and I don't think I'll ever hear that song the same way again.

[anjulibai]

I think if they are doctor shopping then it has more to do with money than anything else. They need to find someone to take Scamaritan and who is willing to negotiate lower than normal fees. That can't be easy. 

[usmcmom]

2 hours ago, Bethy said:

Sadly though, I wonder if the multiple appointments has been them doctor-shopping for someone who will say lumpectomy is sufficient and they don't actually need to pursue more radical measures like mastectomy/hysterectomy and they could go on to have more "arrows."

 

(Bolding mine) I wonder about the delays too; but I had not thought about doctor shopping, just that the delays are because of the Maxwells, not the doctors. 

I know this situation is unique because of the pregnancy/birth but something seems off about how this is being dragged out.  I think that Christopher and Steve must find it very hard to defer to the expertise of any of the physicians.  
 

I have a hundred different ideas about this whole thing but don’ think I can express them well. 

[Giraffe]

7 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

I know this situation is unique because of the pregnancy/birth but something seems off about how this is being dragged out. 

I agree. “Something seems off” is how I would describe it, too. There aren’t guarantees even when cancer’s caught early, but I truly hope the delays have nothing to do with Scamaritan. That would compound (potential) tragedy! 

How early in the pregnancy did they (“they” being medical professionals) know it wasn’t just normal lumps from hormones and was something more? Terri said they were watching and waiting for sometime. That’s a scary timeframe! I could see them (Chris & ofChris) being told several months ago that ending the pregnancy* was recommended in order to do further testing but the Max’s declining until it became too bad to wait. 
 

 

*Ending as in giving birth to a micropreemie, not as in aborting (something I’m certain they wouldn’t be willing do). 

[meee]

12 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

I wonder if the delay is because they are trying to retrieve eggs for future babies? I'm not sure how long it takes for egg-stimulating hormones to work. I certainly wouldn't blame the Max's if they chose not to put that information on their blog.

Would they do that? I know a lot of these fundies don't believe in IVF. And it would take weeks and weeks to retrieve eggs, because I think they would have to wait for her to get a post-partum period first, and then it could take 2-3 weeks after that. 

[freejugar]

I agree with everyone saying that something feels off.

I hope Anna gets the best treatment course available despite their religious beliefs, rigidity and health insurance.

Edited February 9, 2020 by freejugar

[allyisyourpally5]

I just hope it’s nothing completely dumb like following the Maxwell Scheduling system and that they are trying to get a date for surgery that fits in with everyone’s “schedules” - we know how many times they’ve said “this took a lot of organising to fit with everyone’s schedule....” just for something minor like a picnic.

Im sure it’s not something like this, it would be ridiculous beyond words. But something isn’t right. I’ve never seen such a long delay between suspecting and diagnosing cancer to even starting treatment, even with a pregnancy involved. 

[SPHASH]

I hope the delay is due to her still recovering from Simon's birth and not due to crappy health insurance.  

[socalrules]

I don’t think the delay is necessarily because of doctor shopping or freezing eggs, etc. I work with someone who had cancer a few years ago. She had a clean mammogram in December and felt a huge lump in April/May. They did a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy all in one day. By the end of the day she was called and told It was an aggressive cancer and she was at stage 2. It was weeks before she had her appointment with the surgeon. Then it was maybe a month before she started chemo. It wasn’t until a few months after she finished chemo that she had the surgery. She is in her 50s and hasn’t just had a baby when diagnosed. Every patient’s treatment plan is different. Treatment isn’t one size fits all. What is perfect for one may not be for another. I am not going to assume there are nefarious reasons why Anna Marie hasn’t had surgery yet when I have no idea what she is being told by a doctor. Based on what has been posted so far, one would assume my co-worker did it all wrong yet she has been cancer free almost three years. 

[MamaJunebug]

Just want to say “thank you” to you-all who are following this. Like someone uothread said, it’s upping my anxiety level, and I don’t need people I’ve never met and would  barely agree with if I did, to increase my nerves. Plenty of stuff closer to home to do that. 

I do wonder, if Non-Reversal Anna does need chemo and / or radiation, what are the chances she’ll lose all her seriously glorious hair?  OH MY that sent my anxiety thru the roof just to write it. 

[petrushka]

2 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

I do wonder, if Non-Reversal Anna does need chemo and / or radiation, what are the chances she’ll lose all her seriously glorious hair?  OH MY that sent my anxiety thru the roof just to write it. 

Usually, radiation causes temporary hair loss only to the body part being treated.  She's more likely to lose hair because of chemo, but not everyone does.  

 

[fundiefan]

I had melanoma and initally, my surgery was scheduled for 5 days after the call that told me I had it. But, I had been taking Excedrin, which contains aspirin & thins the blood, pretty regularly (this was exactly one week after my divorce from hell was finally final) so we had to wait 10 days to get it all out of my system so I wouldn't bleed out with such thin blood.  Even at that, I had surgery 12 days after being notified. They were not messing around or waiting for anything beyond what was absolutely necessary. 

I can only hope there are reasons for delay due to a recent birth. Hormonal changes, whatever. Any other reason is, to me, unacceptable and stupid. Whether the doctors having reasons or Christopher. If a doctor won't do it because they're self pay or Scamaritan folks, that doc isn't worth his salt. Our medical system sucks, but I still can't fathom a doctor refusing life saving surgery for that. I know it happens, but I refuse to believe it is in any way acceptable. And, if Christopher is looking for the "right" Christian doctor who will keep everything but the area of the lump covered, or preserve eggs, or guarantee fertility or any other damn thing, he needs to be smacked. 

Don't freaking mess around with breast cancer. It's not only stupid, it has the potential to end a life. 

Stupid. All of it. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

6 minutes ago, petrushka said:

Usually, radiation causes temporary hair loss only to the body part being treated.  She's more likely to lose hair because of chemo, but not everyone does.  

 

My mom didn't lose hers, but it changed so much.  She had a gorgeous head of thick, wavy, shiny hair and after chemo it lost its luster and became very coarse.  She opted to cut it very short to deal with it.  

[RachelDM]

I can't believe THIS is my first post here, but?‍♀️ ? 

I watch a lot of football myself.  I think it may be referring to the actual time the ball is actually moving. The rest of the 49 minutes is probably just the clock running. Keep in mind the clock only stops after first downs or running out of bounds. Huddling and resetting can take A LOT (play clock being 40 seconds in the NFL, 25 in college) of time off the clock in between plays otherwise, unless you're running a hurry-up offense, although that still takes SOME time, and isn't all that common.

Not certain, of course, but that's my suspicion on the number.

Edit: whoops sorry, should have quoted the football talk!

Edited February 9, 2020 by RachelDM
Whoops

[Bethy]

9 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

I do wonder, if Non-Reversal Anna does need chemo and / or radiation, what are the chances she’ll lose all her seriously glorious hair?  OH MY that sent my anxiety thru the roof just to write it. 

I know there are some really hard-core fundies out there. I know they believe that if a woman needs to do something, it can be done modestly in a dress, and if it can't, then it wasn't something a woman had any business doing. I know there are some who believe that a woman cutting/shaving her hair is shameful in God's sight, and I've wondered with morbid curiosity whether there were any fundies so hard-core that they would deny a woman lifesaving chemo so that her long hair can be preserved, justifying it with "If it's God's will for her to live, He'll make a way even without chemo." I haven't had a front-row seat on any fundie women with cancer before, not counting Jessica ("riffles") and her molar pregnancy (I don't understand molar pregnancy well enough to know whether chemo is standard treatment, or whether in some cases it's not necessary as long as levels are checked for a period of months and continue to fall appropriately as Jessica's did. A friend of mine had a molar pregnancy a couple years ago and she DID have chemo and lose her hair.) 

Of all the fundies I'm aware of, I think Chris and Anna Marie are the most likely to take this "if it's God's will she'll live even without chemo" course in part due to how over-the-top conservative they are, and in part due to their crappy fake insurance.

I sincerely hope I'm wrong.

[Jana814]

20 minutes ago, Bethy said:

 

Of all the fundies I'm aware of, I think Chris and Anna Marie are the most likely to take this "if it's God's will she'll live even without chemo" course in part due to how over-the-top conservative they are, and in part due to their crappy fake insurance.

I sincerely hope I'm wrong.

I agree with this. I though it from the beginning! 

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, Bethy said:

Of all the fundies I'm aware of, I think Chris and Anna Marie are the most likely to take this "if it's God's will she'll live even without chemo" course in part due to how over-the-top conservative they are, and in part due to their crappy fake insurance.

I sincerely hope I'm wrong.

I'm thinking they might be praying and doctor shopping for an approach that'll be minimally invasive, minimally expensive, and allow Jesus the opportunity to cure her first.  I imagine them going through all the steps with their usual attention to detail - research, getting recommendations from family/friends, requests for prayers, discussions with medical professionals by phone, setting up appointments - with weeks, then months going by and always a reason to think things over some more.  If there are roadblocks associated with their "insurance" then I doubt things will be getting any easier if it really is cancer and it's spreading.

I also hope I'm wrong.

[Syriana]

5 hours ago, Dandruff said:

I'm thinking they might be praying and doctor shopping for an approach that'll be minimally invasive, minimally expensive, and allow Jesus the opportunity to cure her first.  I imagine them going through all the steps with their usual attention to detail - research, getting recommendations from family/friends, requests for prayers, discussions with medical professionals by phone, setting up appointments - with weeks, then months going by and always a reason to think things over some more.  If there are roadblocks associated with their "insurance" then I doubt things will be getting any easier if it really is cancer and it's spreading.

I also hope I'm wrong.

I also hope you're wrong...but this is the Maxwell's we're talking about!

That said, even when insurance and personal procrastination aren't issues to be considered, the apparent inability of hospital departments to communicate effectively can be a major problem.  We have the NHS...when it works well it's amazing, when it doesn't you need to apply a steel toe-capped boot to get anything done.  There are times - usually when things are time sensitive - when you'd be forgiven for thinking that everyone was going in slow motion!

[Eternalbluepearl]

When I see Random Life posts, I don't think Sarah, Anna or Mary will get to have their own families. They exist to "help" with their brothers' lives and to pray. Nothing else. 

[Tatar-tot]

18 hours ago, petrushka said:

Usually, radiation causes temporary hair loss only to the body part being treated.  She's more likely to lose hair because of chemo, but not everyone does.  

 

Hair loss is the least of her worries right now:  She needs to fight for her children to live.  They are plenty of wigs out there she can toss on her head with long flowing hair.  Just open up a Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog and take your pick.  
 

I am worried she has an aggressive form a cancer & the doctors have told her to have a double mastectomy & she is hoping for a lumpectomy.  I am not sure what the correct protocol is for breast cancer but for other forms it is Chemo to shrink the tumor, Surgery, then more Chemo & Radiation.  
 

I really pray that while they have waited to start treatment it has not spread to her lymph nodes or anywhere else in her system. 

 

Time is of the essence when you are treating cancer. 

[kpmom]

7 hours ago, Dandruff said:

I'm thinking they might be praying and doctor shopping for an approach that'll be minimally invasive, minimally expensive, and allow Jesus the opportunity to cure her first.  I imagine them going through all the steps with their usual attention to detail - research, getting recommendations from family/friends, requests for prayers, discussions with medical professionals by phone, setting up appointments - with weeks, then months going by and always a reason to think things over some more.  If there are roadblocks associated with their "insurance" then I doubt things will be getting any easier if it really is cancer and it's spreading.

I also hope I'm wrong.

I thought Sarah's words in her Random Life post today were insensitive regarding Anna Marie's possible diagnosis.

It was basically, "If it is cancer that sucks, but any of us can go at any time, blah, blah, blah."

Maybe that's how they comfort themselves, but I thought it came across as somewhat dismissive. Hopefully she didn't intend for it to be that way.

[Melissa1977]

22 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

I do wonder, if Non-Reversal Anna does need chemo and / or radiation, what are the chances she’ll lose all her seriously glorious hair?  OH MY that sent my anxiety thru the roof just to write it. 

I doubt a mother of 6 facing cancer is worried about hair loss. Specially considering Anna Marie is the opposite of vain.

I understand your anxiety, but hair is the last of her problems. 

1 hour ago, Tatar-tot said:

I am worried she has an aggressive form a cancer & the doctors have told her to have a double mastectomy & she is hoping for a lumpectomy.  I am not sure what the correct protocol is for breast cancer but for other forms it is Chemo to shrink the tumor, Surgery, then more Chemo & Radiation.

I know women who had first surgery and then radiation. No chemo needed. But their lumps were little. 

 

[Syriana]

1 hour ago, Tatar-tot said:

I am worried she has an aggressive form a cancer & the doctors have told her to have a double mastectomy & she is hoping for a lumpectomy.  I am not sure what the correct protocol is for breast cancer but for other forms it is Chemo to shrink the tumor, Surgery, then more Chemo & Radiation.  
 

With breast cancer there are several possibilities ranging from lumpectomy and radiation to double mastectomy, chemo and radiation.  Chemo can be pre or post surgery depending on the type of breast cancer and with some cancers hormone/receptor treatments like tamoxifen and herceptin can be just as important as chemo (herceptin was a game changer for Her2+ cancers).  There are so many possible treatment protocols it's beyond belief.

[Eternalbluepearl]

1 hour ago, kpmom said:

I thought Sarah's words in her Random Life post today were insensitive regarding Anna Marie's possible diagnosis.

It was basically, "If it is cancer that sucks, but any of us can go at any time, blah, blah, blah.

I read it the exact same as you. It was quite Steve-like. 

[browngrl]

"Yes, while what Anna Marie is facing is possibly very serious, none of us are guaranteed another day. I could be in a car accident tomorrow and ushered into the presence of Jesus. We are very prayerful for Anna Marie and being as supportive as we can with their needs while all the time looking to the Lord for what His will is"

Here is one thing I've noted over the years. Patients who belong to fundamentalist religions tend to be the ones who have the hardest time with a palliative care option, and they are the ones who insist on continuing aggressive treatment options. You'd think they would have an easier time accepting "God's will" and would be more at peace considering that they are sure they will soon "be ushered into the presence of Jesus", but no, they continue on with the aggressive treatment. Sadly the aggressive options often lead to complications so the patient ends up with less quality of life and a shorter lifespan than they would have had with good palliative care. 

So when Sarah implies they are peace with God's will I'm not so sure.

Edited February 10, 2020 by browngrl
edited to add: the quote is from the Maxwell blog