Joe and Kendra 14: Who's Addison? They're all Becoming a Giant Blur to Me.

[AussieKrissy]

45 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

There are a few companies like Glad Rags, but the best ones I found are on etsy. They stay on because they have wings that snap together on the other side of the crotch of your underpants. The backs of the pads are also normally flannel to limit movement. They can still bunch a bit, but less so with the longer ones.

The pads are typically labeled for overnight, heavy flow, panty liners, et cetera like with disposable 

All this talk of reusable pads made me look up some new ones on etsy and I found one with a fabric print of hungry vampires. Obviously I have to buy it.

Hungry vampires. Now that is a sense of humour I can get behind. 

[neuroticcat]

I have been doing cotton pads for five years or so now. I love it - and if I have to use disposable for postpartum or something I end up with diaper rash equivalent. It’s awful. I keep a bowl of cold water in the cupboard under the sink and pop them in there and change the water daily until I can wash. Though I wonder if a little bidet spray thing on the toilet like you use for cloth diapers would help for this too?
 

Im postpartum now with #6 and cloth diapering for the first time. I really weighed the cost of getting clOth knowing this is the last baby but I’m glad I went for it. Except I didn’t know yeast rash is a thing! We are finishing out our first round of it so are in disposables for another week. Except for this I haven’t missed at all.
 

But then laundry is kind of always going over here anyway and we aren’t going anywhere so it’s not really extra trouble.

 

[church_of_dog]

4 hours ago, nausicaa said:

All this talk of reusable pads made me look up some new ones on etsy and I found one with a fabric print of hungry vampires. Obviously I have to buy it.

My hysterectomy was 9 years ago and I have never regretted the instant no-more-period.  

I still don't miss it, but the idea of pads with a hungry vampire print almost gave me a pang...  ?‍♂️

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Well, I apologize for upsetting in the reusable camp. That was not my intent.

[JesSky03]

Ooh I don't want to miss the cloth diaper discussion?. I've been cloth diapering for 2.5 years and love it. I now have two in cloth and love seeing my daughter wear the same diapers her brother wore when he was younger.  I wash twice a week and hang dry when possible. We do use disposables at night because its easier so cloth diapering doesn't have to be all or nothing. We do use cloth at daycare and generally use cloth when we go out but sometimes I will put my son in a disposable depending on where we are going. If I won't have easy access to a clean bathroom then disposable is just easier. I feel like its opened my eyes up to disposable products in general so we've really been able to reduce our footprint in other areas. I now always reach for a rag when cleaning instead of paper towel, we've switched to all cloth napkins (which I LOVE and are so much nicer when you have littles), we've stopped using paper plates, and I use a cup/cloth pads. I wonder how many garbage cans the Duggar's have. 

[Bad Wolf]

I cloth diapered Wolf Girl, the old kind with safety pins and plastic pants. I used disposable on Wolf Boy, five years later, the old kind where you only got one chance to use the tape. It was the age of the duct tape diapers, because you couldn't afford to throw away a perfectly good diaper.

[wendy-sparkles]

On 8/24/2020 at 8:05 AM, just_ordinary said:

I don’t think any study will deny that reusable products (be it diapers, menstruation products, or whatever) are better for the environment. I also think we all know that. Same goes for many other things. Using your car less, don’t fly and especially don’t go on a cruise (your carbon footprint will never recover), eat less meat, eat with the season/no food with long travel ways, don’t buy new tech if the old one is actually fine, don’t declutter and then buy tons of new (plastic storage) things. And and and
But I think we all know that people cut corners all the time. That following all this all the way is taking away amenities. It sometimes means sacrificing. And the majority will find enough excuses while they cannot sacrifice. Cities not build for biking are no excuses not to make it happen. Maybe eating regional and seasonal products mean you have just a handful of meal options for weeks/months. Only spending your holidays close by (if you don’t hike or bike for long ways) is not what gets people crazy. 
So, if someone uses bleached tampons or disposable diapers - who are we to judge? They might still be better then we are because they have cut out other things. Maybe with even more impact. I definitely am guilty though of being judgmental about things I feel are a no brainer. I am also guilty of going against common knowledge not to sacrifice personal comfort. But I am fine if people judge me for that.

The Duggar’s and their sheer amount of disposables definitely have a bad impact. So do their numerous cars. Their newest phones. The numerous loads of washing. The millions of paper plates. Their whole lifestyle is just not environmentally friendly in the least. And it is in the open to see. So yeah, I am fine judging away.

I think this is the fairest perspective. We all value things differently and weirdly, the stuff that it doesn't bother us to do/cut out is what we think everyone should be doing. There are lots of things I do that are very environmentally friendly (I don't eat meat, I don't drive) and lots of things that aren't (I love dairy, I don't believe in recycling). I think most people are like this, especially in 2020.So much about being environmentally friendly is about shifting blame and onus onto consumers instead of corporations or governments, and so many consumer choices that are more environmentally friendly require so much extra effort/energy/resources. 

I think getting mad about disposables when a mum might be struggling just to get through the day without the extra laundry is cruel - especially if they are in are a brainwashing quiverfull cult having a baby every year. I've never had a baby, so I don't know how much extra work cloth nappies for three kids is, but I imagine it's a lot, or at least might be for some people. I don't really get periods anymore (can I just recommend Mirena to every single person in this thread) but I got really horrible periods (endometriosis) so I absolutely valued comfort and convenience over environmental friendliness, and I still will If I go back to having them. But, what I think is absolutely vital for me might feel wasteful and wrong to someone who is struggling less, which is fine, I'm sure I think something they do is absolutely abhorrent.

 (Probably one of the worst things you can do for the environment is be rich, but that strangely never comes up.)

[AprilQuilt]

Ah! I like this thread drift. I am considering finally putting my daughter in cloth - we have used biodegradable disposables up til now which have been great, but tbh we have cloths and flannels for all wiping and spills, so we do a lot of laundry anyway, why not add nappies to the mix? And our startup costs are low as we inherited a load of Tots Bots from my sister, and I just picked up a few from the Aldi baby event. I guess it's better late than never, and I hope we have another child down the line who would get wear out of them too... I always thought I'd do cloth from the beginning but tbh our daughter was so tiny when she was born I was afraid they wouldn't fit, and we'd have been overwhelmed by the laundry in those early months. It actually feels a lot gentler to be starting out with a toddler who needs way fewer changes and who we feel generally confident with.

Any tips for starting out? I feel trepidatious. But hopeful.

[neuroticcat]

As a fellow newbie I found it was helpful to buy one or two from a few different brands to see which I liked best. I also discovered it’s easier to do cloth wipes with a little squirt bottle. 

[kiwi]

As a fellow newbie I found it was helpful to buy one or two from a few different brands to see which I liked best. I also discovered it’s easier to do cloth wipes with a little squirt bottle. 

You can buy a hose attachment that connects to the toilet and it sprays the diaper contents into the toilet to flush. Total game changer!


https://www.nappyneedz.co.nz/shop/cloth-nappy-sprayer/

[moreorlessnu]

On 8/23/2020 at 7:59 PM, Vivi_music said:

Cup user for more than two years here.

 

I don't know what I was doing wrong, but the cup would always pop out about 2 minutes after I sat down.

[Vivi_music]

44 minutes ago, moreorlessnu said:

I don't know what I was doing wrong, but the cup would always pop out about 2 minutes after I sat down.

I mean, every woman's vagina is different so it is hard for me to really pinpoint why it did that for you. Could it be that it was not pushed far enough inside? Like I said, you really got to put your fingers in there and place it well up inside.

[princessmahina]

if you’re new to cloth, definitely don’t stock up on just one brand. Getting a few  from different brands and different kinds is a great suggestion. Ones we have and love: Blueberry Simplex, Thirsties, Bumgenius all in ones, Bumgenius pocket diapers, and mama koala diapers. We also have Alva Baby and they work well but I don’t love them.

[medimus]

7 hours ago, AprilQuilt said:

Ah! I like this thread drift. I am considering finally putting my daughter in cloth - we have used biodegradable disposables up til now which have been great, but tbh we have cloths and flannels for all wiping and spills, so we do a lot of laundry anyway, why not add nappies to the mix? And our startup costs are low as we inherited a load of Tots Bots from my sister, and I just picked up a few from the Aldi baby event. I guess it's better late than never, and I hope we have another child down the line who would get wear out of them too... I always thought I'd do cloth from the beginning but tbh our daughter was so tiny when she was born I was afraid they wouldn't fit, and we'd have been overwhelmed by the laundry in those early months. It actually feels a lot gentler to be starting out with a toddler who needs way fewer changes and who we feel generally confident with.

Any tips for starting out? I feel trepidatious. But hopeful.

Is there a nappy library near you? Those are handy for trying out.

[AprilQuilt]

5 hours ago, princessmahina said:

if you’re new to cloth, definitely don’t stock up on just one brand. Getting a few  from different brands and different kinds is a great suggestion. Ones we have and love: Blueberry Simplex, Thirsties, Bumgenius all in ones, Bumgenius pocket diapers, and mama koala diapers. We also have Alva Baby and they work well but I don’t love them.

see, this is what daunts me! It's such an outlay, plus the mental labour of keeping up with what does and doesn't work for us. Then there are the liners and boosters and wraps etc and I can totally see why people become diaper dorks. I think I would too if I had the headspace but I am struggling with house renovations and work. These aren't excuses, by the way, I really do want to make the switch, it's just all this prep I struggle with. I'm going to try out the Totsbots we've been given first, plus our Aldi ones, then branch out if I can pick up some decent second hand deals on ebay.

4 hours ago, medimus said:

Is there a nappy library near you? Those are handy for trying out.

that's a good shout. I wouldn't be surprised - I live in that sort of area (I know there's a sling library, for example, although it's all a bit more complicated with covid I think). Our local council actually offers new parents a decent discount on a cloth starter set but you can't choose the brand and then of course you're stuck with them if you don't like them, which is a bit of a pain. Great initiative in theory though.

[princessmahina]

6 hours ago, AprilQuilt said:

see, this is what daunts me! It's such an outlay, plus the mental labour of keeping up with what does and doesn't work for us. Then there are the liners and boosters and wraps etc and I can totally see why people become diaper dorks. I think I would too if I had the headspace but I am struggling with house renovations and work. These aren't excuses, by the way, I really do want to make the switch, it's just all this prep I struggle with. I'm going to try out the Totsbots we've been given first, plus our Aldi ones, then branch out if I can pick up some decent second hand deals on ebay.

that's a good shout. I wouldn't be surprised - I live in that sort of area (I know there's a sling library, for example, although it's all a bit more complicated with covid I think). Our local council actually offers new parents a decent discount on a cloth starter set but you can't choose the brand and then of course you're stuck with them if you don't like them, which is a bit of a pain. Great initiative in theory though.

That sounds like a good plan! Also—even if you don’t love a brand (because of material or whatever), it will probably still work just fine. As long as everything is contained and your child isn’t rashy, you’ll be good to go. 

[Zebedee]

Wow, a nappy library? Sounds amazing! I am childfree, but have two nephews. The first one wore mainly disposables, and then 3 years later, my (ex) sis-in-law went with cloth from the start. Her parents, and mine, had done the all-cloth nappies back in the day, with the safety pins etc etc (my baby doll I got given - not sure why, since I always avoided babies, and am slightly scared of them until post-nappy, post-verbal stages! even came with 2 cloth nappies and safety pins in the early/mid 80s!) and that was mainly for financial reasons, but even I, with a total lack of interest in baby stuff, and no younger sibs, had picked up that they were a pain. 

--interjection--
OK, so many people made such great points, I've ended up writing almost a thesis now! None of this is meant to be getting at anyone here; I think we're pretty reasonable people who accept climate change is a thing etc etc - but also with lives, and different hills to die on:
---
My younger nephew is 10, and she bought cloth nappies on pre-loved sites, and absolutely fell in love with them, and bought a few larger ones when he was 2.5 and only needed overnight ones, then sold all of them on. [My partner was fascinated, I think they talked for 2-3 hours about them! And she showed us the liners that basically make poop slide off into the toilet, there was rarely anything awful left behind (apparently, I've never changed a nappy*, and don't intend to start, they dried fast on the line etc  etc.] Plus, the bamboo in lots of them seemed to keep the kids dry and comfortable, especially for overnight use. I was just impressed with how cute they were, and, not going to lie, a bit jealous! By the time I'm old, I fully expect there to be "Miffy" and "Star Trek" adult versions. She's also started using reusable pads etc. Everyone recycles here (UK/Germany), just because the bins aren't big enough to chuck that stuff. In the UK, if the Rods or Duggars lived in a standard 3-4 br house, they'd only get one bin for trash. The collectors will take all recycling and bio, but only one bin (with fully closed lid) of trash. (In Germany, the lid doesn't have to close, hurrah!)

As far as eco friendly things for us go - I do drive my little car everywhere. (I spent the first 40 years walking/biking everywhere as I had no licence) But I also live in a very tiny town and need to get to bigger towns for doctors, dentists, vets, garden centre, pet shop etc etc. I also love driving, and drive a bit like a boy racer on the Autobahn sometimes. Not often, as I can see how expensive it becomes, and get a bit tight, then. Petrol is very expensive in Europe. But eco-driving is a part of our driving test, and they rate you on it, so everyone learns. I can't deal with pads, reusable or not, and 2 different brands of cups have leaked/been painful. I'm happy with eco panty liners for back up, but I'm afraid my tampons will have to be pried from my sweaty, overheating menopausal hands (and bring it on! I can't wait. Especially as I'm always cold...)

My boyf has a hybrid (his work requires him to drive too far for an electric to be feasible at the mo, even with a Tesla (too pricy, anyway), as the charging infra-structure is still very uneven here. Plus, we have to drive in the Alps, and that eats your mileage!) but we charge it using solar panels, so all journeys under ~60km are electric. (And my car is a little petrol thing, and a manual, and I am keeping it until it falls to pieces, I love my Peugeot 206. And I will get another petrol car, because I love manuals.). His car will be electric as soon as feasible. And we do take flights to the UK to see family and friends often, long-haul every 5 years or so. So yeah, it sounds like I'm basically the eco-destroyer but...

we also have no children (I didn't want them at all, one at most, he was on the fence, and the eco considerations swayed him - not at all saying this should be the case for everyone, just that it's how we came to be happily CF - obviously a good thing, as we clearly didn't want children enough. Ideally, that should just be left to the people who really want to bring new individuals into the world, rather than arrows...) Odd to say that not having kids runs in the family!  My partner is an only child, my brother has 2, my 2 cousins and I have none; my grandparents were one of two (2 children, 2 grands, no niblings) and one of 4 (3 children, 6 grands, 4 niblings, 4 great-niblings, in Poland) We have many animals, but clearly no parental instincts!

We recycle everything, we have solar panels, I'm veggie and v.low dairy (I avoid almond milk, cashew milk etc, for the water usage and shipping,) - I buy meat for him occasionally, but from local farms with happy animals (where I get my milk - we do live in the middle of cowish S. Germany, I'm still trying to eliminate animal products though). We eat as local as possible, we're in the EU, so a/c isn't really a thing, despite the 40C we often get - but the houses are so well insulated here, with shutters etc. So, we also don't heat that much either, even the winter where we had -20C overnight. This is the biggest difference for me - we rent my flat, but it was really well built. In the UK, we rented (for more than a mortgage, even with housemates) and we spent a bomb on heating. We wore extra jumpers, had hot water bottles etc, but with ice on the windows inside all day, even with heating. Landlords will not spend the money on insulation, or double glazing; you cannot save a deposit for your own house, so you are stuck with it. Here, we were allowed to install solar panels!

Plus, everything else that every has said, like eco washing/dryers are everywhere. I have a love of refurbishing computers, so we keep them going as long as possible. Harder with the work stuff, as it is all Apple, but my laptop is now 7 years old, and the tech specs still beat the newest MacBook Pro. OTOH, none of my Apple stuff has ever failed, that stuff seems to only die because of new software. I still use the first 2 models of MacMini and the white MacBook, they just run Linux now. I see it as a challenge, with eco-benefits as a side effect. I also buy few clothes, but ones which will last well, and preferably fairly traded, organic material. OK, not perhaps so possible for children's clothes - though I buy this stuff for my friends' kids - once they grow out of it, the parents can sell it on, for many kids) - but for most adults, this should be possible. (Unless very low-income, new job expenses etc)

So yeah, some people make sacrifices I just cannot bring myself to do - reusable pads, 3 changes on public transport etc, but lots of people also don't become near vegan or whatever. Also, upfront costs can be prohibitive for some reusable/higher quality items.  Not helpful for us all to judge each other when, AFAICT, we all try a bit, and don't deny climate change to have 19 kids, then use a ton of single use plastic, paper plates etc etc etc. It is not even the hypocrisy of the "frugal" lifestyle which is anything but. It's the hypocrisy of being "Biblical" in everything, except the being the "steward of the earth" stuff which enrages me. So. Fucking. Selfish. Not even about leaving a habitable planet for your gajillion grandchildren - they'll be "raptured" or something - but the total dismissal of the importance of Every. Single. Other. Species. Which I thought were also meant to be God's creation? Fuck these people.

*Despite never changing a nappy, I am still the "fun aunt" who buys the best presents (I love 10 year olds' toys) and fully intend on "mothering" them in their teenage years. I'm even being held to my offers of hosting house parties for them, lol! They will have a lot of fun as a teenager in Germany, and both the parents are pretty laid back. At least there will be a couple of adults at any future weddings that won't be able to make jokes about blowouts, seeing them naked etc - not that we do that anyway, of course. Also, I still don't know how to change a nappy. At this stage, I think my younger friends with kids would be too scared to ask me, in case I stab their offspring with "safety" pins, lol.

[bal maiden]

@AprilQuilt do you know which type of TotsBots you have? All in One or Pockets? I had some TotsBots pocket nappies (also got them as a hand me down!), and I found them good for babies, but when my kids hit toddlerhood I needed something more absorbent, so ended up switching to a fitted nappy and wrap (Little Lambs). Much easier to wrangle a pocket or all-in-one onto a toddler though, so don't let this put you off trying them! But also, if you try them and find they aren't absorbent enough, don't let that put you off cloth. I have been through so many cloth nappies with two kids, and when I did the sums, it still worked out cheaper! 

[JesSky03]

8 hours ago, AprilQuilt said:

see, this is what daunts me! It's such an outlay, plus the mental labour of keeping up with what does and doesn't work for us. Then there are the liners and boosters and wraps etc and I can totally see why people become diaper dorks. I think I would too if I had the headspace but I am struggling with house renovations and work. These aren't excuses, by the way, I really do want to make the switch, it's just all this prep I struggle with. I'm going to try out the Totsbots we've been given first, plus our Aldi ones, then branch out if I can pick up some decent second hand deals on ebay.

that's a good shout. I wouldn't be surprised - I live in that sort of area (I know there's a sling library, for example, although it's all a bit more complicated with covid I think). Our local council actually offers new parents a decent discount on a cloth starter set but you can't choose the brand and then of course you're stuck with them if you don't like them, which is a bit of a pain. Great initiative in theory though.

I'm in the US but one of my favorite brands that I know is available at least in the UK is Littles and Bloomz. We have at least 20 of their velcro pockets(they also have snap available) that we have been using them for close to two years and they are still in great condition. They are super affordable and the prints are adorable. I personally think the best way to get over the fear is to just jump right in and give it a try! Reading about cloth diapers can be very overwhelming- I think its best to dive in and learn as you go and find your own rhythm. 

Edited August 26, 2020 by JesSky03

[Glasgowghirl]

Out of curiosity because I know some local authorities here in UK offer incentives for people doing cloth nappies such as £100 vouchers for them, I looked up to see what mine done and on South Lanarkshire Council's website it didn't even have any information on a cloth library. 

[patsymae]

Oh, all you wonderful young women. It's over for me now (pads needed for something else, like maybe I might laugh) but as much as I'm committed to green, a life without tampons would be my line in the sand.

[EmiSue]

1 hour ago, patsymae said:

Oh, all you wonderful young women. It's over for me now (pads needed for something else, like maybe I might laugh) but as much as I'm committed to green, a life without tampons would be my line in the sand.

Same here. I cloth diapered my son and actually enjoyed it (though it didn't work out to cloth diaper either of the foster babies we had later, even though I still had the diapers and they were in good shape). But my periods were so heavy and nasty that I needed to throw that stuff away. It was definitely my line in the sand. 

[nvmbr02]

13 hours ago, EmiSue said:

Same here. I cloth diapered my son and actually enjoyed it (though it didn't work out to cloth diaper either of the foster babies we had later, even though I still had the diapers and they were in good shape). But my periods were so heavy and nasty that I needed to throw that stuff away. It was definitely my line in the sand. 

I don't think it is wrong to use tampons if you prefer, I mean periods suck enough so use what makes your life easier. But for me, I switched to a cup not to be more green but because my periods were so heavy and awful. I can go longer with the cup before I need to empty it so I wasn't always trying to find a bathroo, and it made a huge difference in the cramps I was having. I still get cramping, but it is half as bad as it was. 

Edited August 28, 2020 by nvmbr02
typo

[EmiSue]

34 minutes ago, nvmbr02 said:

I don't think it is wrong to use tampons if you prefer, I mean periods suck enough so use what makes your life easier. But for me, I switched to a cup not to be more green but because my periods were so heavy and awful. I can go longer with the cup before I need to empty it so I wasn't always trying to find a bathroo, and it made a huge difference in the cramps I was having. I still get cramping, but it is half as bad as it was. 

I did try a cup but wasn't a fan. I'm glad it worked for you and so many of the ladies in this thread! I used huge pads more than tampons. Wasn't a fan of those either...

[front hugs > duggs]

I have insanely heavy periods day 1, day 2 is kind of moderate, and days 3-5/6 are pretty light (hope this isn't TMI). I had switched about a year ago to the Thinx pants. I've kind of settled on wearing them in anticipation of my period coming, using tampons day 1/maybe into day 2 to really feel clean and comfortable, and using my Thinx the rest of the time. I figure I'm still trying to be environmentally conscious (no judgment to those who use all disposables! just my personal choice) but without sacrificing how clean I feel as a human being.